Capricorns, is it jealousy or a bruised ego?

I've been in love with a Cap for 13-14 years. We've had an on/off relationship, but we're still friends. The thing is, despite the fact he doesn't want to date me, he still displays a great amount of jealousy EVERY time I have been involved with another man. Whether I was in a relationship, just intimate, or even only had an interest in someone - he didn't like it. As an example, I was listing things I liked about a (seemingly) great guy I had met, and my Cap said things along the lines of, "Well I'm like that too," or "I don't like that either." Whatever the quality was I admired in the other man, he wanted my admiration in him to continue instead. I find this both confusing and endearing. He doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship with me because he believes it won't work out, and I respect that, but he wants me to have eyes only for him.

Tell me, is it a Capricorn trait to feel jealousy/possessive like this, or do you just feel the need for everyone to like/want you?

This seems like a fine spot to cut and paste my answer from the "Can Ex-Cappy be Friends with Ex" thread.

I'll admit it if no other guy will, and that is .......

Even if the break up was mutual or the male's decision to break it off, a guy never stops viewing that woman as "HIS".

Even if you don't want her, you don't want anyone else to have her either.

Sounds like a typical Capricorn male characteristic.

Some of them want to be the best at everything, and you talking about another guy triggers his competitive nature.

The part that sounds messed is "He doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship with me because he believes it won't work out, and I respect that, but he wants me to have eyes only for him."

If he was jealous because he wanted to be with you then OK makes sense, but this sounds kind of selfish and manipulative.

What's your sign?

I've already given the answer above. Does anyone pay attention—......sheesh.

Posted by SunMoonStars

If he was jealous because he wanted to be with you then OK makes sense, but this sounds kind of selfish and manipulative.

Yup. Not surprising tho'

You're right, it is obvious: I'm a Cancer. A triple Cancer, in fact (Sun, Moon, and Mars).

I was sure he still felt that I was his, and now I'm even more positive.

I'll always love my Cap. Regardless of whether he wants me or not, he knows I'm always here for him.

How about his relationship with other women, are there any?

I get the feeling he's been involved with someone else.... And you've been waiting or him?

*for

Do you guys hang out a lot and do things as friends often? Talk often?

Well, you're right it could be jealousy - OF THE FRIENDSHIP.

See, if you're in a relationship, then you devote your time and attention to your boyfriend. Right? Well, if you're attention is elsewhere, then you have no time for him. Can't hang out with him. Can't talk to him whenever you want to. See where I'm going with this.

we all have female friends who dump everyone when she's in a relationship. More so, we dump our male friends when we're in a relationship because we don't want to leave anything open for questioning by the boyfriend, don't want him thinking something is going on (because it's not). He feels left out when you're with someone, like he's lost his best friend.

I would tell him quite bluntly and honestly (and a cap will respect this) that "look, you don't want a relationship with me. If you do, then speak now. Either step up or stfu about me and other guys. What I do with other men is none of his business and he has no right to say anything or get jealous - a true male friend would not be threatened at all."

That should put a stop to it.

I get the impression, you'd like nothing better than to have a relationship with this cap. So, then it's time for you to have an honest, vulnerable conversation with him.

Posted by aquapiscescusp
.... And you've been waiting or him?

I kind of suspect this too. Reading this, it felt like she wants us to tell her he is secretly in love with her.

Posted by M

Posted by CapTenn
I've already given the answer above. Does anyone pay attention—......sheesh.

Oh the hubris

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Not at all.

Perhaps you should enlighten us?

Here is the answer you are looking for:
First of all, just because we don't show our feelings doesn't mean we don't have them. Second of all, he is still around, meaning he hasn't given up on you or a possibility of a relationship.

Correct these, and you might get what you want...
1) If you like someone(or are in love with someone) you should never tell them of another!!!
2) To him, you are telling him in his FACE he was a FAILURE in the relationship.
3) By telling him hes a failure, he will defend himself by mentioning his qualities or dislikes.
4) By telling him all your failures with other men, you're subconsciously telling him you are not the one for him.
** These should be common sense, but when feelings get involved, they fly out the window***

He does truly does want you to be happy, even if it isn't with himself. But he will continue to criticize everyone on his level because you claim to want someone better than him. You cannot be angry at him for helping you achieve what you want or what you are asking for.

Jealousy?... Not! I categorize everything separately. I, like the rest of the Capricorns (whether they know it or not) CHOOSE what categories to inject feelings into. Logic and understanding over feelings and emotions.

I know, it sucks. But someone has to be the bad guy right. Who better than the devil...Lol

Posted by M
"I, like the rest of the Capricorns (whether they know it or not) CHOOSE what categories to inject feelings into. Logic and understanding over feelings and emotions."

Mhm. Conscious/unconscious investing.
I find Cap mooners (Great source of unadulterated capisms) emphasize checkpoints on when to continue, Aqua bits base it around wanting to deal with or not.

I do both. cap moon/aqua mars. So dissect the feelings, pros/cons etc, then debate on action.

I appreciate everyone's input, but I am neither waiting for him nor am I holding on to any delusions that he has feelings for me. He and I, like I said, are friends. We don't see each other often, but we talk. We are intimate as well. He refers to our relationship as "an attraction that stops at being physical because it wouldn't work out if we dated." He made up his mind about that years ago. I'm very happy that I still get to have him in my life as a friend, and I have no intention of trying to win him back. We've spoken to each other about failed relationships, as friends do, (plus you guys love offering your opinion/advice) which is why I mentioned what I liked about a man I was interested in. I wasn't trying to make him jealous. But, yes, I found it pretty damn adorable when I said that I had thought the guy that just dumped me was the man of my dreams and he replied, "That's what you used to say about me." I'm pretty sure he knows he'll always be the man of my dreams, though.

He has been in 3 relationships since we broke up. The most recent one broke his heart, so he's sworn off dating for good. He's afraid of giving someone his all just to get hurt again. I know most of you understand his feelings.

Maybe you two should stop being intimate and focus on the friends only aspect. I think being intimate is confusing to both of you at this point.

Also, when you talk about other guys, he probably feels like he's being compared, so he has to stand up for himself. Nothing to do with wanting more.

Maybe even take some time apart so you can be friends without the temptation of sex.

Just a thought.
—?

Keep giving it to him and he'll keep acting a little jealous just to keep you giving it to him, no strings attached.

Posted by champranger

Posted by SureShotCap
Here is the answer you are looking for:
First of all, just because we don't show our feelings doesn't mean we don't have them. Second of all, he is still around, meaning he hasn't given up on you or a possibility of a relationship.

Correct these, and you might get what you want...
1) If you like someone(or are in love with someone) you should never tell them of another!!!
2) To him, you are telling him in his FACE he was a FAILURE in the relationship.

You had me up to here and then I got confused lol. How did OP tell him that he was a failure in the relationship?

😕

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Because she is bragging about the other relationships after theirs (at the time I thought was) finished. It doesn't matter anymore. They are both in denial and are stringing one another though misery.