Dying of painful breakup! Please help!

My ex started signs of breakup by our 1st year anniversary. He blamed it on anxiety because of work although i asked it if it was me. It was a long distant relationship but we met 3-4 days every 2 months and spoke on skype every day for an hour or so.

I traveled (which he paid for like all our travels together) to his country thinking we'd celebrate our anniversary but he gave me the talk of i dont know what i want. Said 3 different things in 30 mnts: i dont love u any more, then i dont know if i do.. and then I love u so much i dont want to feel this towards anyone. I asked him if its a breakup its ok i wont make a scene, but He literally broke down, couldnt breathe and his face became red that i gave him water and told him ok we wont talk about it now. We agreed he will not take a decisiom about breakup until he cools down from anxiety. When he drove me to the airport i had a feeling he was telling me goodbye. He bought me lots of chocolates (which i associated with feeling guilt). As soon as i came back to my country and wanted to skype him he showed he wasn't interested in it. So i offered that we contact less when he said he needs to be isolated and. Ot talk to anyone. I asked about him every couple of days and faced him that im the only one who doesnt talk to on whatsap and hes online most of the time. So he tells me i am not ready for a relationship of any type with anyone. I am scared, i am overwhelmed. I want to be left alone. He's usually not the type who opens up or expresses his feelings so i asked him what is he scared of and he wouldnt tell me. I asked him many times to let me be by his side, as a friend or whatever but let me be there for him even if i do nothing but he would say he wants to be left alone and hes happy being alone and in solitude! He said he doesnt have any explanation to make other than hes not ready for a relationship with anyone and that he would speak to me as long as he doesnt explain. I told me i was an angel, its not me but its him. He would take days off work which he doesnt usually take because he is paid per day and it made me so worried about him. I spoke to his brothers wife and she told me he didnt tell them about the breakup and she couldnt ask knowing hes a discreet person but he looks happy! Im sure she told him what i asked and hes the one who told her to tell me hes happy. Although i told her i wish him the best ans to keep in touch she never replied.

After a few days i broke down and i began a journey of 1 month texting him every 4-5 days asking him not to be like my ex who hurt me so much by disappearing the same way and to give us a chance and let me by his side. He never told me he wishes me well and hes sorry. I told him he never did and asked him to tell me to move on twice if he wants nothing to do with me but everything was unanswered. He saw me suffering in my texts, there are rimes when i told him how happy we both were dont give up on us and then times when i was full of pain how i felt stabbed that he knows hes the only man i dared to trust ans he breaks up with me this very way that he knows has deeply hurt me in the past that i couldnt move on from it for 2 years! He only sent me a happy new year message and thanked me for sending him a birthday message. I had sent him a gift voucher for a life coaching package of 4 sessions that he never claimed. After 1 month and 1 week of sending him a mixture of love, sad, pleading, angry messages that went unanswered i asked him if hed meet me in his country if i travel there. No answer. I asked again, its a very disrespectful break up that will make me not want to be in more relationships that he would help me if he tells me hes sorry to hurt my feelings like this and asks me to move on. No reply!!

Could you please explain to me, he promised me hes not wasting my time and hell never hurt me like my ex did. He knew about all my scars and ended up doing the very same things i told him hurt me. he was the nicest guy ive ever met in my life. Paid for all our travels together ( on the other hand, i always got him many and expensive gifts so i never took advantage) so why would he hate me like this if there wasnt any fight. Why couldnt have been a respectful breakup since he knew about my previous one. And why he didnt, although i told him it would break my back if i he didnt say these words to me: im sorry i hurt ur feelings, move on.

He had told me about his scars when we first met, 2 exes left him. 1 left the house when he was about to propose and never knew why she left and another broke up with him because she was depressed and she didnt want to bring him down with her (they are still friends and caught him whatsapping and skyping with her- he swore theyre just friends and he would never go back to her) . and while breaking up he said he thought he was over it but hes scared of commitment.

Is he hurt.. Is he a coward asshole? Or Revenging his exes through me? Does he really have anxiety? Why did he not saying not even a consoling word when he saw me suffer telling him to help me trick my mind that he broke up respectfully with me? He told me i love u first and his goal was to make me love and trust him and when i did that he broke up with me. Hes a capricorn and im a scorpio if it makes any difference.

Thank u for reading and appreciate any explanation if anyone has any..

Everything you have done so far is about your feelings 100% . There is not a single point in this that you actually thought of his needs, everything is all about you, and you alone. He told you the first time he didn't love you anymore, but I get this feeling you kept pushing him. Just as you seem to have done in this whole description. So to make it easier on himself, he told you something vague enough to get you to leave without causing a ton of drama, and probably impacting his anxiety even more. Instead of giving him the space he needed to breath, you thought about what you needed only. He tells you he wants to be left alone, and you keep pushing what you need over and over again. He didn't want to be a jerk to you and ignore you, but you kept pushing and pushing and pushing, until it got to the point where you became this annoying nag. Of course he is going to ghost you. You literally, selfishly put demands on him left and right, and then you have the nerve to get him life coaching sessions after not talking to you for awhile? You are basically telling him he has problems, when all I see is you being obsessive and kinda stalking him.

You need to stop trying play the blame game, and look at yourself as well. He wasn't all the problems, you contributed to them as well. And I think its safe to say, you cause more of it then him.

Move on, cause you are really looking like a psycho.