Mystery surrounding my Cap guy

Hi. I met this cap guy online. I am a librian. We chatted for a few days and then met up for a cup of coffee. We liked each other's company and ended up spending 2 hrs chatting away. He asked me out on another date the very same evening. We ended up in bed. He was leaving for a tour two days later and so we met up twice before he left. On the second date he asked me what i was looking for in a relationship and i told him i dont do casual or a one night stand. I am more interested in having a relationship. He said he was fine with that. We kept in touch while he was away. He would disappear for a few days over chat and then pop up all of a sudden. I realised he needed his space and he is very career oriented so is always busy with work. Now he is back in the same city i am in and he seems aloof and distant all of a sudden. He was more communicative while he was away. He is in the same city and i have met him once over drinks. I got annoyed and asked him to meet me or i would end up throwing a tantrum. He scolded me like i was a school girl. But he never did meet me. Now he has gone back in his shell and i dont know what to do. He gives me mixed signals and i am not sure if he is interested or not. I did ask him if we were good as he seemed aloof, he replied that he was busy with work and hence he seemed distant but we are fine. Now he is gone back to being incommunicado. I love him and i want to get to know him better but he keeps me at a one hand distant. He doesn't like to talk about his work or his personal life. I am Not sure if this is how all cap men are in general or is it that he is simply uninterested. Help me understand him and his psychology. I am in two minds. Should i break off or should i be patient and give him a chance to open up to me. Any advice is welcome

Yes please ....i am so looking forward to any insight that you can provide

Hi. I met this cap guy online. I am a librian. We chatted for a few days and then met up for a cup of coffee. We liked each other's company and ended up spending 2 hrs chatting away. He asked me out on another date the very same evening. We ended up in bed. He was leaving for a tour two days later and so we met up twice before he left. On the second date he asked me what i was looking for in a relationship and i told him i dont do casual or a one night stand. I am more interested in having a relationship. He said he was fine with that. We kept in touch while he was away. He would disappear for a few days over chat and then pop up all of a sudden. I realised he needed his space and he is very career oriented so is always busy with work. Now he is back in the same city i am in and he seems aloof and distant all of a sudden. He was more communicative while he was away. He is in the same city and i have met him once over drinks. I got annoyed and asked him to meet me or i would end up throwing a tantrum. He scolded me like i was a school girl. But he never did meet me. Now he has gone back in his shell and i dont know what to do. He gives me mixed signals and i am not sure if he is interested or not. I did ask him if we were good as he seemed aloof, he replied that he was busy with work and hence he seemed distant but we are fine. Now he is gone back to being incommunicado. I love him and i want to get to know him better but he keeps me at a one hand distant. He doesn't like to talk about his work or his personal life. I am Not sure if this is how all cap men are in general or is it that he is simply uninterested. Help me understand him and his psychology. I am in two minds. Should i break off or should i be patient and give him a chance to open up to me. Any advice is welcome

i know that now .....any other insight ?

There is a lot to un-pack here. However, the simple analysis is that he isn't interested an anything other than something casual. He probably said he was ok with that because he figured he could get a few spins out of you before you bailed.

Hi ....i took your advice and told him that he has throws around his attitude and we should not make plans anymore. After a few days he msgs saying he is sorry he was being difficult and would like to start over. He asked me out on a drink. I am not sure what i should do. Would appreciate some advice.

M

Posted by Meg123
Hi ....i took your advice and told him that he has throws around his attitude and we should not make plans anymore. After a few days he msgs saying he is sorry he was being difficult and would like to start over. He asked me out on a drink. I am not sure what i should do. Would appreciate some advice.

M

Force him to move slow, play distant, if he loses his mind and chases, he's into you, if he drops you, of goes distant again, slam him (verbally) and walk away and don't look back. Are you a Sept Libra?

Thank you Danny for your advice. Yes i am Sep Libra...does that matter when it comes to dating a Cap ?

Posted by Meg123
Thank you Danny for your advice. Yes i am Sep Libra...does that matter when it comes to dating a Cap ?

It means (in my experience) you two should have a strong mutual attraction to each other, it's a good sign.. let him show his cards. Maybe it was just work life that made him distant.

If Caps have a personality trait, so do Librans. Plus i think that compatibility changes zodiac to zodiac wise

i agree Libra's are sexy .

Thanks Danny .... lets see what he has to say. Although i am not hoping for much from him.

To expand: I only date women born from Sept 10th-30th because of this mutual attraction, the relationships always move fast. (Sometimes we do get distant because of work but the attraction is still there, and strong. I think for us, work-life ruins relationships. In my experience.) I'd consider another Cap too. But that's it lol

Posted by Meg123
Thanks Danny .... lets see what he has to say. Although i am not hoping for much from him.

You're welcome Meg 🙂

He is a Cap born in Jan .....does that too makes a difference. He is a very busy person and career driven guy.....and i find that a very attractive quality in him. But i dont like him playing mind games. I am straight forward and that is how i prefer to be treated too. He is a difficult guy to figure out

Posted by Meg123
He is a Cap born in Jan .....does that too makes a difference. He is a very busy person and career driven guy.....and i find that a very attractive quality in him. But i dont like him playing mind games. I am straight forward and that is how i prefer to be treated too. He is a difficult guy to figure out

He needs to drop that guard with you. You showed him vulnerability and you gave yourself to him, on top of that you seem very polite, you seem like a sweet girl. Keep being you, don't be aggressive or pushy, but def distant, make him chase you. If he doesn't, he's an idiot. An asshole. In his early 20's, or has some serious work dilemma.

Posted by Meg123
i know that now .....any other insight ?

Yea! You can withhold forever and when you give in he dissapears anyway! So it's better sooner than later😉

That was such a sweet thing to say Danny Appreciate it . I am def taking your advice and keeping his at bay. Oh we are both in our late 30ties. Guess he is already having a mid life crises :p

Posted by Meg123
That was such a sweet thing to say Danny Appreciate it . I am def taking your advice and keeping his at bay. Oh we are both in our late 30ties. Guess he is already having a mid life crises :p

"That was such a sweet thing to say Danny Appreciate it" See look at you, make him trip over himself chasing you lol

You're welcome Meg 🙂

Posted by Meg123
i know that now .....any other insight ?

And one

More. I am married to cap for 23 years after first date sex...

So don't listen to them. Lol

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Meg123
i know that now .....any other insight ?

And one

More. I am married to cap for 23 years after first date sex...

So don't listen to them. Lol

click to expand

Ya there's nothing wrong with this, my (also vir/lib cusp) could-be wife tried to initiate first date, I played the wait, I respect you too much card, so we went at it the next night instead and OMG. The poor neighbors.. how do they sleep anymore..

Haha ....i am so happy for you both Danny and Gemi. Hope you'll keep your respective neighbours awake for years to come.

I must admit that the Cap guy is someone really good at what he does. Plus charming when he wants to be.

Posted by Meg123
Haha ....i am so happy for you both Danny and Gemi. Hope you'll keep your respective neighbours awake for years to come.

I must admit that the Cap guy is someone really good at what he does. Plus charming when he wants to be.

lol, this story is a familiar one, let us know it goes 🙂

Posted by Capri-sun
If you'd still like insight, I'd be more than happy to help

what do u think ?

Hi...i took your advice and went on a date. It was fun and at the end we ended up at his place. he asked me when i will see him again, i told him we can figure it out later. He asked me to message me when i got home safe. when i didn't, he messaged me this morning asking me why i didn't. I replied about an hour later. Chatted for two mins and haven't messaged him since.

Thank you for your advice. i did have a lovely evening. i wont chase him anymore. if he is interested let him make an effort.

Regards,

M

Ok ... duly noted.

Posted by DannyMC

Posted by Meg123
Thanks Danny .... lets see what he has to say. Although i am not hoping for much from him.

You're welcome Meg 🙂

click to expand

what do u think Danny ?

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by DannyMC
To expand: I only date women born from Sept 10th-30th because of this mutual attraction, the relationships always move fast. (Sometimes we do get distant because of work but the attraction is still there, and strong. I think for us, work-life ruins relationships. In my experience.) I'd consider another Cap too. But that's it lol

Where is your venus & juno? Or maybe it's your pisces moon opposite pull or something

This is like me saying I only date Scorpios 😛

click to expand

My venus is Aquarius, not sure what the Juno is

Posted by DannyMC

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by DannyMC
To expand: I only date women born from Sept 10th-30th because of this mutual attraction, the relationships always move fast. (Sometimes we do get distant because of work but the attraction is still there, and strong. I think for us, work-life ruins relationships. In my experience.) I'd consider another Cap too. But that's it lol

Where is your venus & juno? Or maybe it's your pisces moon opposite pull or something

This is like me saying I only date Scorpios 😛

My venus is Aquarius, not sure what the Juno is

click to expand

Just entered the DOB on a juno calc, it says 'libra'

Why do you say you 'love him' after only a few dates??

Posted by Meg123
Hi...i took your advice and went on a date. It was fun and at the end we ended up at his place. he asked me when i will see him again, i told him we can figure it out later. He asked me to message me when i got home safe. when i didn't, he messaged me this morning asking me why i didn't. I replied about an hour later. Chatted for two mins and haven't messaged him since.

Thank you for your advice. i did have a lovely evening. i wont chase him anymore. if he is interested let him make an effort.

Regards,

M

"he asked me when i will see him again" "He asked me to message me when i got home safe" "he messaged me this morning asking me why i didn't" You got your answer, he likes you. He might have actually had some work drama going on..

Posted by Meg123
Hi...i took your advice and went on a date. It was fun and at the end we ended up at his place. he asked me when i will see him again, i told him we can figure it out later. He asked me to message me when i got home safe. when i didn't, he messaged me this morning asking me why i didn't. I replied about an hour later. Chatted for two mins and haven't messaged him since.

Thank you for your advice. i did have a lovely evening. i wont chase him anymore. if he is interested let him make an effort.

Regards,

M

Now that we know he likes you, the ball is back in your court, I wouldn't be distant or play any more games (like capri-sun said) to get him to show his cards, he has, but I would let him initiate more of the convo for the next few days, don't be cold either, or distant, be warm, just don't initiate as much.. let him chase you, but the real you. Not the facade of games..

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by DannyMC

Posted by DannyMC

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by DannyMC
To expand: I only date women born from Sept 10th-30th because of this mutual attraction, the relationships always move fast. (Sometimes we do get distant because of work but the attraction is still there, and strong. I think for us, work-life ruins relationships. In my experience.) I'd consider another Cap too. But that's it lol

Where is your venus & juno? Or maybe it's your pisces moon opposite pull or something

This is like me saying I only date Scorpios 😛

My venus is Aquarius, not sure what the Juno is

Just entered the DOB on a juno calc, it says 'libra'

Makes sense why you're drawn to the virgo/libra cuspers. Great dating strategy & it should work in your favor based on the juno in libra that you have 🙂

click to expand

Thanks Cap 🙂

Why didn't you message him after you got home? That is him showing he cares. First sign with my Cap boyfriend of him really caring & first fight was when he got upset that I didn't call and let him know I got home safe. ( he didn't even ask btw, he just assumed I would). It's a thing. I'd say he likes you.

I guess i wanted to act a bit aloof. Generally he acts difficult if he knows i care or i am more interested in meeting up or taking this forward. The moment i pulled away he makes an effort to keep in touch. He messaged me this morning as well. I respond to his good morning with a good morning but dont continue the conversation from my side. I would do that earlier and he would read messages and not reply / reply after ages. Now i try and keep it brief. Try to mimic his actions.

I hate the mind games ppl play. I am very straight forward and i expect the same in return.

Am i wrong in doing so ?

Noted.

Are all Caps so much hard work ? Or is this my special case 😛

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Meg123
Noted.

Are all Caps so much hard work ? Or is this my special case 😛

Lol we're really not hard. Be yourself. Be honest. Be genuine. & it should be smooth sailing whether for the good or bad but at least you don't have to wonder

click to expand

Haha ...thanks ...but to be honest i was myself, honest and genuine before. That is when he seemed uninterested. The moment i let it go, he wants to be back. His own words were "I'm sorry for being difficult."

From what I read about Cap men you have to be patient. When was the last time you saw each other?

I think Cap men are set in their ways. And are controlling...so if you like him, just be patient until you see each other again. That's what I'm doing. I recently started dating a cap man I'm a Libra. Our attraction is off the hook. He told me he wants to marry me. He is so perfect for me and my needs, which of course now make it scary. Just let the process take its course and don't always be available he'll think you have no life and are desperate even though you know it's just your reaction to him driving you wild. You have to show him you are a strong woman. And have a life. Just focus on your career too and make plans to see him again. They are pretty consistent.

Posted by Capri-sun
I'm not saying fully invest your heart. all I'm saying is that if you like him be yourself & see where things go. give it a chance if he isn't giving you what you want or need then cut him loose

Exactly be patient, meditate, exercise, work. Give it a chance...don't worry about it to much. Stay in control, cool calm and collected.

I cant comment about anyone else but for this was the first time i met someone and was drawn to him with so much intensity. I was in a long term relationship that ended in 2015. So after a year i felt a connect with someone and wanted to see where it went.

No he is not my boyfriend. I would like to get to know him better. When he was away we chatted, but he was quite guarded when it came to anything personal.

I stopped asking cause i wanted him to want to tell me about him, rather than me asking and him feeling awkward.

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Capri-sun
I'm not saying fully invest your heart. all I'm saying is that if you like him be yourself & see where things go. give it a chance if he isn't giving you what you want or need then cut him loose

Exactly be patient, meditate, exercise, work. Give it a chance...don't worry about it to much. Stay in control, cool calm and collected.

click to expand

I have a very demanding job and keep busy at work until late. I have a good friend circle and social life. I dont hang around for him to be around. I carry on with my life as usual.

But i do like to catch up over the weekend or for a drink once in awhile. It makes it less stressful knowing the person is there

Posted by ScorpionPowers

Posted by DannyMC

Posted by Meg123
Hi ....i took your advice and told him that he has throws around his attitude and we should not make plans anymore. After a few days he msgs saying he is sorry he was being difficult and would like to start over. He asked me out on a drink. I am not sure what i should do. Would appreciate some advice.

M

Force him to move slow, play distant, if he loses his mind and chases, he's into you, if he drops you, of goes distant again, slam him (verbally) and walk away and don't look back. Are you a Sept Libra?

Hey Danny, I've read some of your posts and you seem very ensighftful.. I have a problem with a Cap man I've been seeing .. can I send you a PM? It won't be too long I promise 🙂

click to expand

Sure 🙂

Posted by Meg123

Posted by Librajean

Posted by Capri-sun
I'm not saying fully invest your heart. all I'm saying is that if you like him be yourself & see where things go. give it a chance if he isn't giving you what you want or need then cut him loose

Exactly be patient, meditate, exercise, work. Give it a chance...don't worry about it to much. Stay in control, cool calm and collected.

I have a very demanding job and keep busy at work until late. I have a good friend circle and social life. I dont hang around for him to be around. I carry on with my life as usual.

But i do like to catch up over the weekend or for a drink once in awhile. It makes it less stressful knowing the person is there

click to expand

Oh yes definitely!! Just sounded like you were obsessing which is understandable with these guys! Lol

Oh yes definitely!! Just sounded like you were obsessing which is understandable with these guys! Lol

i know what you mean dear .... being a libra i am programmed to be so + i hate guessing