How do I get this Capricorn to LOOSEN UP! (adult)

I've been dating this Cap male since Jan 2012 and we've been in contact EVERY day since I met him. (him calling me usually). I met him at a nightclub but he is in the navy so I found out on our date that he doesn't live in the same state as I do. 😢 but I've flown to see him many times and he is coming here for his annual visit in December.

We made our relationship official in October because I got tired of waiting lol. I know you have to be verrrryyyyy patient with Capricorns but after 7 months I was like um WTF.

I don't want this to turn into a book so I will make a list of the things I want him to loosen up with and you Cappies can tell me if there is any hope LOL or how I should approach the situation. (mostly sexual) lol


..He doesn't like to go out to clubs (just bars-every weekend) and I am the opposite because I like to dance so I like clubs but I don't go every weekend.

..Sexually he is very traditional. I hear these guys are very skilled in the sex department. The first time we did the nasty it was niceeeeee and he was very attentive and took his time 🙂 and he let me finish first lol. I also like a little aggression. Spanking, hair pulling, dirty talk etc.... (yes I did tell him this) He was all for dirty talk in the beginning and phone sex (his idea) and all that jazz but now its like he avoids even talking about sex. He talked about it so much in the beginning that I was a little annoyed and beginning to think he was some sort of sex fiend lol


..when I go there we do it when HE is ready or when HE initiates it. I try to take the initiative sometimes but he's always looking for the PERFECT time and I'm a lot more spontaneous and willing to take risks. Sometimes I feel like i'm the horny guy LOL


..He bought a pair of CK undies and he refuses to wear them unless he is going somewhere special and he refuses to wear them before or after sex. (he actually hasn't worn them yet) He just couldn't understand why I was making a big deal about seeing him in his sexy new undies and I told him to think about when he asked me to wear sexy stuff and I went to Victoria secret and BOUGHT new sexy things to wear for him and I didn't care about messing them up because of sex lol.


I just wanna know how to get him to loosen up and be more spontaneous or willing to take risks.. He is so reserved. I know a few female Capricorns and they are super fun but this is the first male and he wont do anything unless its

I agree with Metoo, just slow down, he is probably feeling you need him to be someone he isn't and that will make him pull back a little. Stop pushing for him to do this or that... I think you mention that your relationship is mostly about sex, he probably doesn't want it to be just about sex? Tone it down a tad.

Well, he's not looking at this relationship as just sex. So that's a GOOD thing! As the relationship developed, I think he's just looking for more substance. Thus, the less dirty talk, etc. I have been going through this issue with my aqua, if that makes you feel better.

As far as the dressing sexy, well, caps just don't do that well. Us women have determined that we are constantly criticized for not dressing sexy enough. There's a thread on it somewhere in here. So I think Caps just don't care about it as much as some of the other signs.

The bars, well, I would rather go to a bar than a club. A club is too noisy and its harder to have a conversation there.

As far as loosening up, like everyone else said, that will come with time. It's harder for us to drop our shields with someone we like and want to keep impressing. Yes, our friends are a different story, but if you pay attention, the friends have been friends for a long time, possibly years. So, because of that, I'm sure you can understand why its an easier repetoire with them.

Best advice, just don't pressure him.

A steak dinner and a really good back massage? Every Capricorn I know, even if they are "green" and earthy, can't seem to resist a steak. They also like massages and since one of their major problem areas is typically the back they don't typically turn one down.

or get him drunk 🙂 but yeah I can see the steak dinner do wonders...

The question that I want to ask though... is... why at the end of your topic, you have the word "adult"?

Lmao @ the underwear thing. How many are there in the pack? Its usually 3 so i guess 1 is waiting for his b-day, 1 for x-mas and 1 for new year's eve. Be patient

Posted by champranger

Posted by Virglow
I just wanna know how to get him to loosen up and be more spontaneous or willing to take risks.. He is so reserved. I know a few female Capricorns and they are super fun but this is the first male and he wont do anything unless its

There is no magic formula. I know two Cap guys, IDENTICAL placements as their birthdays are exactly one day apart ... one opened up in the span of a month, the other ... still hasn't yet (I met him back in August).

Were their houses even identical?

Also you will see Caps being really relaxed around their friends, and not always the case with the one they like.

click to expand

This is so true. He is more relaxed around his friends and more quiet with me but he is very playful because I am and he is always willing to be silly with me.

Posted by Metoo
Hmmmm, well for one he is in the Navy so his WHOLE life and world is regimented.

But also as a cap, I have two sides...one is total sex vixen, the other is reserved, need everything perfect and right circumsstances before letting my hair down.

I mean in the long term you just might find he isnt a good match and isnt going to satisfy you.

Orrrr, you can slow down, get rid of expectations and let him unfold at a slower pace without you pushing.

I know several caps who started out of the gate reeaallly sexually, then pulled the reigns back.

I think they might be looking for trust and depth. Like they want to observe and know your fantasies....then they step back and figure out how much they want to invest as they are getting to know you.

They like to observe, test, observe more, test more. It is not a game with cap...every action has intent...and its mostly them weighing and wondering if their person of interest is a trustworthy partner and will meet their deep hidden checklist.

Move on, or proceed slowly. you cant pull or push him, you can only wait. Not necessarily fair, but true.

I definitely want to wait it out because he does have some amazing qualities that are hard to come by but I have a tendency to wait too long and I often find myself stuck in a rut because of it lol but I see what you're saying.

Posted by aquapiscescusp
I agree with Metoo, just slow down, he is probably feeling you need him to be someone he isn't and that will make him pull back a little. Stop pushing for him to do this or that... I think you mention that your relationship is mostly about sex, he probably doesn't want it to be just about sex? Tone it down a tad.

I don't really push him. Things will come up once and I will let him know how I feel about it, especially if it bothers me and once he gives me his opinion on it I wont bring it up anymore but most of the time it just seems as if he isn't really about evolving. He gets in a comfort zone and stays there. I can be the same in some aspects of my life but not ALL of my like like he is. Our relationship is FARRR from being all about sex lol. I'd actually like a little more of it lol...kidding but seriously hehe

Posted by truecap
Well, he's not looking at this relationship as just sex. So that's a GOOD thing! As the relationship developed, I think he's just looking for more substance. Thus, the less dirty talk, etc. I have been going through this issue with my aqua, if that makes you feel better.



As far as the dressing sexy, well, caps just don't do that well. Us women have determined that we are constantly criticized for not dressing sexy enough. There's a thread on it somewhere in here. So I think Caps just don't care about it as much as some of the other signs.

The bars, well, I would rather go to a bar than a club. A club is too noisy and its harder to have a conversation there.

As far as loosening up, like everyone else said, that will come with time. It's harder for us to drop our shields with someone we like and want to keep impressing. Yes, our friends are a different story, but if you pay attention, the friends have been friends for a long time, possibly years. So, because of that, I'm sure you can understand why its an easier repetoire with them.

Best advice, just don't pressure him.

I loveeeeee this explanation lol. This is why I came to the CAP bored because I knew you guys would make sense of it and it does make me feel better to know that I'm not the only one going through this issue haha. I will try my best not to pressure him because I really like him but I just hope he doesn't make me wait toooooo long to see results. It doesn't all have to come at once but somethings got to give eventually.

Posted by aquapiscescusp
or get him drunk 🙂 but yeah I can see the steak dinner do wonders...

lol he loves steak and he loves to drink socially !

The question that I want to ask though... is... why at the end of your topic, you have the word "adult"?

click to expand

I put adult because when I use to come here and just read (before I signed up for an account) I noticed that some of the topics and posts were from young teens so I wanted to cover my tracks.

Hope it works out!!

Posted by WaterCup
Lmao @ the underwear thing. How many are there in the pack? Its usually 3 so i guess 1 is waiting for his b-day, 1 for x-mas and 1 for new year's eve. Be patient

This made me crack up! LOL !!!!! He bought two individual pairs btw haha

Posted by truecap
Hope it works out!!

Thank you. I will be coming here for advice again I'm sure. lol. BTW I've seen some of your posts on other topics and your answers are really informative.

Posted by FoxGlove
Omg, girls -- I could've written the original post (yours too, Aqua86). I've had exactly the same experience with a Cap male in my past. He came on strong in the beginning and was SUPER sexual (ie -- it got worked into every conversation) -- I can totally relate to your comments about thinking your Cap was a sex fiend. Then, rather abruptly, that kind of talk ceased -- but the contact did not. There's still tons of that -- most every week-day. I even asked about it and was told "I just didn't want you to think that's all I ever thought about..." Hmmm... psych 101 theory... these guys feel they can be overtly sexual when it's just casual for them. If they get the warm-fuzzies, however (feelings, as they're commonly known) -- they need you to respect them. So the perviness shuts off. I wish I knew the solution. It's a pity. 😢

Well judging from the comments from these Cappies and people that know cappies it seems the solution is patience. How much you ask? NO IDEA but I"m sure it will come laterrrrrrrr. lol. I can relate totally with him working sex into every conversation. I was trying to get to know him and I'd ask something like "what type of soda do you like?" and he'd be all " CHRRY 7UP ALL OVER YOUR BODY BABY!" LOL you know?

The Key to a happy relationship with a Cap man is friendship. Its always best to develope a frienship with them first, because then when the time comes for them to let their guard down the can and will. I have been friends with my Cap man for many,many years. There is nothing he can't do in front of me. He is comfortable and its due to the foundation of our relationship and thats friendship...The hot and heavy stuff is a added bonus!!!

Posted by Virglow

Posted by truecap
Hope it works out!!

Thank you. I will be coming here for advice again I'm sure. lol. BTW I've seen some of your posts on other topics and your answers are really informative.

click to expand

Thank you! I try.