It's over..

It's over..

Im devastated right now

I'm so sorry to hear this Shaka. 😢

I'm really sorry your in a bad spot Boom.
.........😢

Thank you everyone for the good energy, if anyone wants to know details, etc just let me know through PM. I dont feel like sleeping right now anyway..

sb, I'll PM you 🙂

Sorry to hear that, Shaka.

Nothing I say will make it any better for you.. but I feel sad for your pain anyway.

I'm not good at making people feel better about these things, but, I will say this even though I don't know the details... I think she was merely one of your great love lessons. Maybe a crash course setting you up for the real deal later. Devastation and heartache/break are seeds for transformation and new realizations.

You will always have this place to vent and piss people off. We're a constant force you can rely on. Trust that. 😉

Its nice to see thoughtful responses 🙂 thank you all for your concern and for making the effort to say something meaningful and useful. A big thank you again.

she'll be back!

hey bri! I dont know if she will, and if she ever does Im not sure I'll be there waiting for her. Though she has said in the past how it wouldnt have to be "forever" if we ever broke up. It was all amicable.

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
hey bri! I dont know if she will, and if she ever does Im not sure I'll be there waiting for her. Though she has said in the past how it wouldnt have to be "forever" if we ever broke up. It was all amicable.

Sending hugs and positive thoughts!

Remember what I said about if it is permanent.
Single is not so bad anyway, in time you will see 🙂

I am sorry this has happened Shaka, I think it's my turn to give you cookies.

Hugs Shaka —
Everyone is right about time.
It will either bring you back together or help you want to break away and move on.
I don't know the details but it looks like it just happened so there is still room for a lot of unexpected changes to take place.
Nothing is set in stone.

*Steals one of Shaka's cookies when VB is not looking*

im so sad 😢

i'm in something of a nyquil haze at the moment so i'll save my words of wisdom for tomorrow. im like 6 months older than you so i have really deep thoughts to share 🙂

*Hugs*

Thank you very much everyone, I'll get back to some of your responses later on..

Today I had the "real" closure of things with cappy. We went out for a drink. I lost her as girlfriend, but in the place I gained someone who's more than a friend to me, and its mutual, today I found out the bond us two have is stronger than could be defined by any kind of relationship. The relief of having told each other everything we were feeling has made it all so much easier and bearable. I had never experienced something like this before, where a parting of ways was full with so much compassion and care for one another.

We both randomly cried at certain moments whilst we looked each other in the eye, but we also laughed whilst remembering fun moments and those have been a lot! whats clear is that we havent stopped caring about each other deeply and there is no reason we should, we are no longer "together" because we're at a stage in life right now where as far as certain individual wishes plus being together is not a healthy option. We said it doesnt have to feel like its a "forever" type of thing, because we dont know how things are going to be in a few years time. We are moving on though.

Aw Shaka, that made me tear up a bit. There is so much love and respect between the two of you obviously, and that's all that matters. Two very mature people!

🙂 I know..

It made me tear up a bit too whilst writing it. Im so relieved right now. Can you imagine we even agreed we could still go on holidays together? lol

Ahhh dammit, now I'm tearing up 😛

So happy to hear this though, Shaks. She's a keeper, no matter what she is to you.

haha, thank you Candeh 🙂

You should have seen us when we kissed each other goodbye..it was like in the movies, raining and everything, and looking at each other while waving goodbye several times.

Posted by cheekyfaerie
It sounds like you're well on your way to getting to a good place. Still wish I could share my powdered donuts with you tho.

Yeah, we have peace of mind, hmmmm donuts, havent had those in a while!! everytime I see an American movie it seems you guys are always having donuts lol

hahah I guess its like..in Paris the idea of a romantic date for couples is to have a drink around the Eiffel Tower, while in the US you just share your donuts with your special one 😄

How does one go wrong with fried sweet dough, seriously. 🙂

I NOW CROWN YOU
DRAMA KING!

Is it weird that Im not depressed in the slightest? Is it weird that cappy and I still like talking to each other probably as often as before? Is it weird that we're having dinner tomorrow night (only the two of us)?

That's good to hear Shaka. I just have one thing to say, after my own little stint, don't take anything she's doing as more than what it is, and be careful not to put yourself in the position of always being available for her and still being her "boyfriend" without the title. If you are really cool with your arrangement then go for it, but don't mistake that its going to lead back to the relationship. Make sure you are keeping your options open, because she can be serious about what she says, yet want the benefits of having you still around and the whole relationship.

Other than that, glad to hear yall are still on such good terms.

Oh yeah! that is a good point you mentioned there and this is in fact something we discussed thoroughly when we had our closure convo, I told her she didnt have to feel limited in her expression to me thinking that any attempt at contacting me would be interpreted by me as "giving me hope" of getting back together, and vice versa, I told her the fact I'd want to keep contacting her (phone, facebook, etc) didnt mean I wanted anything more than what we have right now.

Trust me, I'd be the last person to get taken advantage of, I think we simply had a very honest closure where we agreed where the boundaries now are. We told each other just about everything we wanted to tell each other.

The way Im dealing with the new reality is:

I had two choices; I could have made things miserable by making a scene and making her feel worse in the process over things that couldnt be changed anyway, they were in the past (plus knowing how cappy-stubborn she is, her decision couldnt be changed) this would have only helped ruin the amazing friendship/bond we have, because the truth of the matter is, I dont hate her, she doesnt hate me and none of us were left with a bad taste in the mouth after all of this.

The second choice was, to accept the reality at hand gracefully and with dignity, which was that some things had changed and that some of those changes didnt necessarily involve the two of us as a couple. One of the first things I told her when we had our closure-convo was "I hope you werent secretly hoping for a total drama-filled scene by me where I yell at you and let you know how wrong you are in your decision, etc etc because that IS NOT my style and you know it" she said she knew I wasnt that kind of person and that in fact she was very glad things hadnt gone that way (she hates public dramatic scenes anyway)of course she elaborated thoroughly on why she made her decision and given the fact we had taken a month-long break from each other before this, I knew she wasnt giving me any bullshit reasons.

IF ITS THE UNDERAGE TEENY BOPER YOU WERE BANGIN YOUR BETTER OFF
SONER OR LATER YOU WOULD OF GOT HARD TIME
IF YOU GOT CAUGHT.

Sorry to hear that Boom, but it sounds like you've got it under control. 🙂

Tate, that comment is offensive and totally far from reality, so I'd like to ask you to take it back.

Posted by VIRGIE
Sorry to hear that Boom, but it sounds like you've got it under control. 🙂

Im not sure Ive "got it under control", Im just doing my best to try to cope with all of this the best way, while staying honest to myself and her.

Posted by LoveBucket

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
. . . Is it weird that cappy and I still like talking to each other probably as often as before? Is it weird that we're having dinner tomorrow night (only the two of us)?

which is why I say if you get with a Cap and it don't work out, it's b/c you fucked it up and not the Cap. That's my position and I stick to it!! 🙂

click to expand

I can see why you would think that, but that wasnt the case with us, so you might want to review your fixed-sign opinions 😉

...and start reading the stories behind the threads before you post your own beliefs as gospel 😛

NEVER SAY YOUR SORRY BOOM ITS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS!

Real men know when to say sorry.

You dont care about my love life? then why the hell would you post on MY thread, about MY love life? LOL

Seriously, stop embarrassing yourself. Leos are not very famous for their intellectual capabilities, so Im pretty sure I can do well without your contributions to this thread. Thank you very much.

P.S. Im not interested in your Capricorn colleague, this thread is not about you or created for you.

WE ALL CARE ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE BOOM ITS A SLOW DAY
GOT TO DO SOMETHING
WINTER COMING
SHEEP WITH SNOW ON THEM IN THE MEDOW
BOOMS LIFE IN THREADS
HELP THAT MAN SO FAR ADVICE TO HIM SUCKS
COME ON DRAMA BITCHS PICK THE BOY UP
PUT HIM BACK ON HIS FEET.
I'AM THE ONLY ONE TO BEAT ON HIM.

Why would I beat up on him? I just want to give him a cookie and kiss his cheek. He's doing just fine.

Posted by james tate
WE ALL CARE ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE BOOM ITS A SLOW DAY
GOT TO DO SOMETHING
WINTER COMING
SHEEP WITH SNOW ON THEM IN THE MEDOW
BOOMS LIFE IN THREADS
HELP THAT MAN SO FAR ADVICE TO HIM SUCKS
COME ON DRAMA BITCHS PICK THE BOY UP
PUT HIM BACK ON HIS FEET.
I'AM THE ONLY ONE TO BEAT ON HIM.

Taters, you have a great life, all you have to worry about are the sheep 😄

(plus LLLTBL not running away with some other guy..)

Posted by venusianbull
Why would I beat up on him? I just want to give him a cookie and kiss his cheek. He's doing just fine.

This lady knows her stuff, my speculaas cookies are certified to give that kind of wisdom to people 🙂

It's the cardamom and almonds, it does things to a person. 🙂

I thought it was the Gin-seng..oopsss 😛

I knew it! *shaking fist at you* Heaven only knows what you put in my coffee. 😛

LLLTBL IS LONG GONE MY FRIEND.
TO KNOW HER WAS TO LOV HER
IT TOOK ME ABOUT 1 1/2 HOURS TO GET OVER HER
I DO HOWEVER BRING HER BACK INTO THE DXP CONVERSATION NOW AND AGAIN.

HAHAHA 1.5 hours, oh how swiftly the worm turns. I commend your dedication and fortitude sir.

WITH YOU IT WOULD TAKE 1 2/3 HOURS

*hand over heart* I feel special indeed.

LOL Willing victim? I saw the way he was dressed. Clearly he was asking for it. *passing over tie-dyed duct tape*