Cap man has me irate!

First off let me say this is mostly venting. So...I told myself New Year's Eve that if I didn't get some kind of contact saying happy new year from this guy then I was done. Because in my head if I mean something to you common sense would say you wo
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  • ladylibra21
    Lovingly Confused, Libra/Scorp Cusp Sun, Merc, Mars, Cancer Moon, Sag Venus
    from CT
    First off let me say this is mostly venting.

    So...I told myself New Year's Eve that if I didn't get some kind of contact saying happy new year from this guy then I was done. Because in my head if I mean something to you common sense would say you would wish me a happy new year. So he didn't so I started on my journey of letting go on New Year's Day. I get back to work and this dude is all in my face like constantly in my face like more than he normally is. I'm not paying him much attention because my new resolve is to move past this until I'm able to become friends with him. Near the end of the day he starts whispering stuff under his breath after he passes me. So I cornered him and I say what are you saying under your breath and he says don't worry about it laughing. So yesterday he comes in at the end of the day and we are talking and he is acting strange talking about random things like death a subject he normally stays away from. We also talked about him being passive aggressive and he said he would try to be more cheerful and not be passive aggressive. So sensing that he may need to talk after he made a point to tell me he was just going to sit at home and do nothing that night (as if he was bummed about it) I non-chalanly say let's go out and do karaoke or something and he changes the subject then leaves.

    So I tell myself OK let's try this one last time try to ask him to hang out somewhere to see how he reacts. An hour later after I sent a text saying

    "But no seriously what are you doing tonight? Let's go get a drink. Drinks on me. I won't make you do karaoke lol"

    He replied: "Hey I just got home I would love to just not tonight I'm in a funk extra tired And yes no karaoke."

    He use the same excuse he always uses. So I ignored him didn't even write back. He always seems to have time for everybody else but me.

    So I was resigned to just let him go and work with him until I find another job. I was to show no emotion about the whole thing today. However, he comes in at the end of the day And says did you go out to karaoke. I look at him and all of my anger returns and I robotically say "No, no I did not. " I walked away and when I come back he had left my desk. He proceeded to walk by 3 times as I ignored him and worked on my time sheet (which I hate doing so you know I was pissed if I'd rather do my time sheet than talk to him).
    One time he walked by, he pretended to trip up the stairs and made a big commotion about it limping past my desk to see if I would respond to it and ask if he was OK, I did not ask.

    Then when I got up to ask people if they needed help I came back to my desk and my phone had a sticky note on it facedown I picked it up and there was a heart on the sticky note.

    I am so mad ?. For someone who doesn't want butter to do with me, who doesn't make me a priority, you want to leave hearts on my phone? If he doesn't like me in that way why is he sending me mixed signals like that!

    Is he treetrunking with my head?

    I'm not sure what to do I haven't called him because I'm afraid I'll cuss him out. I could go in tomorrow and treat him like we are just co workers and not friends but I tired that today and failed.

    Sigh I need wine for whine tonight. Bottoms up ?.
  • ladylibra21
    Lovingly Confused, Libra/Scorp Cusp Sun, Merc, Mars, Cancer Moon, Sag Venus
    from CT
    Posted by Capri-sun
    I think he might actually be down & might actually like you...would it have been wrong to ask if he wanted company last night as opposed to going out?

    I really think a night "IN" is what you both need...work out some of that tension if you know what I'm saying Big Grin

    Hug it will be okay


    Lol I doubt he would let me come to his house he just let his mother come to his house for the first time over the weekend and he has had that place for three years. Oh believe me there is a lot of sexual tension but at this point I'm just pissed off.
  • Aerazo
    β™’Visionary🌎
    30 years old from USA
    Posted by ladylibra21
    First off let me say this is mostly venting.

    So...I told myself New Year's Eve that if I didn't get some kind of contact saying happy new year from this guy then I was done. Because in my head if I mean something to you common sense would say you would wish me a happy new year. So he didn't so I started on my journey of letting go on New Year's Day. I get back to work and this dude is all in my face like constantly in my face like more than he normally is. I'm not paying him much attention because my new resolve is to move past this until I'm able to become friends with him. Near the end of the day he starts whispering stuff under his breath after he passes me. So I cornered him and I say what are you saying under your breath and he says don't worry about it laughing. So yesterday he comes in at the end of the day and we are talking and he is acting strange talking about random things like death a subject he normally stays away from. We also talked about him being passive aggressive and he said he would try to be more cheerful and not be passive aggressive. So sensing that he may need to talk after he made a point to tell me he was just going to sit at home and do nothing that night (as if he was bummed about it) I non-chalanly say let's go out and do karaoke or something and he changes the subject then leaves.

    So I tell myself OK let's try this one last time try to ask him to hang out somewhere to see how he reacts. An hour later after I sent a text saying

    "But no seriously what are you doing tonight? Let's go get a drink. Drinks on me. I won't make you do karaoke lol"

    He replied: "Hey I just got home I would love to just not tonight I'm in a funk extra tired And yes no karaoke."

    He use the same excuse he always uses. So I ignored him didn't even write back. He always seems to have time for everybody else but me.

    So I was resigned to just let him go and work with him until I find another job. I was to show no emotion about the whole thing today. However, he comes in at the end of the day And says did you go out to karaoke. I look at him and all of my anger returns and I robotically say "No, no I did not. " I walked away and when I come back he had left my desk. He proceeded to walk by 3 times as I ignored him and worked on my time sheet (which I hate doing so you know I was pissed if I'd rather do my time sheet than talk to him).
    One time he walked by, he pretended to trip up the stairs and made a big commotion about it limping past my desk to see if I would respond to it and ask if he was OK, I did not ask.

    Then when I got up to ask people if they needed help I came back to my desk and my phone had a sticky note on it facedown I picked it up and there was a heart on the sticky note.

    I am so mad ?. For someone who doesn't want butter to do with me, who doesn't make me a priority, you want to leave hearts on my phone? If he doesn't like me in that way why is he sending me mixed signals like that!

    Is he treetrunking with my head?

    I'm not sure what to do I haven't called him because I'm afraid I'll cuss him out. I could go in tomorrow and treat him like we are just co workers and not friends but I tired that today and failed.

    Sigh I need wine for whine tonight. Bottoms up ?.



    What is it with Cap me behaving like that? Is it just normal, something we are supposed to "let go" Because they are "that way" or are we just trying to find excuses?

    I'm on a similar issue.. this time I even checked your profile to make sure we don't live in the same state talking about the same guy ? I've read your other posts.

    I know how you feel, on New Years I sent him a message bc I didn't want to go thru the disappointment of him not saying Happy new years to me ? and be on the same boat as you right now. It's frustrating and it makes me think less of him when I know he's a great guy.

    He also stayed home on nye..

    Honestly at this point I'm just doing me, because I have already done my part showing him I'm interested and I like him. If a man wants to be with me he should definitely make up his mind about it, I'm not gonna play games or wait around someone who is not sure of what he wants.
    I have clearly shown effort to meet, to talk, and he's constantly "falling asleep, or too tired" but would still go to other places and do other things. If I'm not worth a day, 6, or at least 2 hours of his time to see me, then he doesn't deserve me breaking my head thinking what's going on.
    Same thing happened when I asked him to go hiking with me, he first said yes, then said no, then he asked if I went... what?? I just said no and acted like nothing happened.

    But maybe we should have said something..and flip out on them for acting like that???

    I'm no drama queen, so that doesn't go with me

    I don't wanna tell you to just let it go and continue acting like if you are okay with everything he does. it obviously irritates you that he behaves this way and you don't want to be on this for months and years...
    I'm sure that he likes you, no cap man would just put a heart on a note for nothing, maybe nye doesn't mean anything to him?
    I mean if he stayed home on that day and didn't care to "not party on nye" then it's probably not as meaningful as it is to you. But I understand the part where he doesn't wanna go anywhere or spend time.

    Does your job have strict rules about dating coworkers?

  • ladylibra21
    Lovingly Confused, Libra/Scorp Cusp Sun, Merc, Mars, Cancer Moon, Sag Venus
    from CT



    What is it with Cap me behaving like that? Is it just normal, something we are supposed to "let go" Because they are "that way" or are we just trying to find excuses?

    I'm on a similar issue.. this time I even checked your profile to make sure we don't live in the same state talking about the same guy ? I've read your other posts.

    I know how you feel, on New Years I sent him a message bc I didn't want to go thru the disappointment of him not saying Happy new years to me ? and be on the same boat as you right now. It's frustrating and it makes me think less of him when I know he's a great guy.

    He also stayed home on nye..

    Honestly at this point I'm just doing me, because I have already done my part showing him I'm interested and I like him. If a man wants to be with me he should definitely make up his mind about it, I'm not gonna play games or wait around someone who is not sure of what he wants.
    I have clearly shown effort to meet, to talk, and he's constantly "falling asleep, or too tired" but would still go to other places and do other things. If I'm not worth a day, 6, or at least 2 hours of his time to see me, then he doesn't deserve me breaking my head thinking what's going on.
    Same thing happened when I asked him to go hiking with me, he first said yes, then said no, then he asked if I went... what?? I just said no and acted like nothing happened.

    But maybe we should have said something..and flip out on them for acting like that???

    I'm no drama queen, so that doesn't go with me




    Omg the whole saying yes then changing their mine thing! Lol but if we flipped out on them then they would have an excuse to act they way they do and they would come up with some pessimistic butter like see I knew it was too good to be true I knew you were like this but in reality they create these problems th are afraid of!
  • 4ever_confused
    aqua sun taurus moon *~
    female
    I've had a cap act this bizarrely to me too. Found out he's dating a different woman each day yet he can't let go. So frustrating!!
  • ladylibra21
    Lovingly Confused, Libra/Scorp Cusp Sun, Merc, Mars, Cancer Moon, Sag Venus
    from CT
    @Aerazo he went to a party at a house with 3 couples. We have people who are married at our job in the handbook strictly says that our job does not monitor personal relationships.
  • ladylibra21
    Lovingly Confused, Libra/Scorp Cusp Sun, Merc, Mars, Cancer Moon, Sag Venus
    from CT
    Posted by 4ever_confused
    I've had a cap act this bizarrely to me too. Found out he's dating a different woman each day yet he can't let go. So frustrating!!


    I'm wondering if it's something like that to. Like maybe he has a treetrunk buddy and he's content with that but some days I want to relationship and I'm the only one he's connected with emotionally but he's not sure if he wants me or not so he's got this in and out thing going on. i'm just guessing at this point

  • kdee53
    100 % Taurus Female
    female
    Posted by ladylibra21
    Posted by 4ever_confused
    I've had a cap act this bizarrely to me too. Found out he's dating a different woman each day yet he can't let go. So frustrating!!


    I'm wondering if it's something like that to. Like maybe he has a treetrunk buddy and he's content with that but some days I want to relationship and I'm the only one he's connected with emotionally but he's not sure if he wants me or not so he's got this in and out thing going on. i'm just guessing at this point

    click to expand


    I'm also going through the same thing right now and I'm getting annoyed with it. It's like he's hot for a few days and then he's cold and disappears for 1-2 days like now. Unless he disappeared b/c of what I said via text msg but I dont know now. Last time we hung out in person was mid November. We talk almost everyday and enjoy each other's company for hours on skype. But if he's not talking to me, he's either hanging out with with "family or friends". I have brought up hanging out again, but there's always some excuse; "I'm tired or I have plans already but I'll let you know if anything changes". Mutual friends say to be patient that he's a relationship guy, or that he's single.. and I'm patient, but if a guy is super interested in you, then shouldn't they make it known. Luckily we haven't done anything physical and idk if I want to. Not sure if I could handle doing something and then him "disappearing" again. Stay strong ladylibra218!
  • kdee53
    100 % Taurus Female
    female
    Meant to say Stay strong ladylibra21! *
  • pinkbird03
    Cancer πŸ’•
    Posted by ladylibra21
    First off let me say this is mostly venting.

    So...I told myself New Year's Eve that if I didn't get some kind of contact saying happy new year from this guy then I was done. Because in my head if I mean something to you common sense would say you would wish me a happy new year. So he didn't so I started on my journey of letting go on New Year's Day. I get back to work and this dude is all in my face like constantly in my face like more than he normally is. I'm not paying him much attention because my new resolve is to move past this until I'm able to become friends with him. Near the end of the day he starts whispering stuff under his breath after he passes me. So I cornered him and I say what are you saying under your breath and he says don't worry about it laughing. So yesterday he comes in at the end of the day and we are talking and he is acting strange talking about random things like death a subject he normally stays away from. We also talked about him being passive aggressive and he said he would try to be more cheerful and not be passive aggressive. So sensing that he may need to talk after he made a point to tell me he was just going to sit at home and do nothing that night (as if he was bummed about it) I non-chalanly say let's go out and do karaoke or something and he changes the subject then leaves.

    So I tell myself OK let's try this one last time try to ask him to hang out somewhere to see how he reacts. An hour later after I sent a text saying

    "But no seriously what are you doing tonight? Let's go get a drink. Drinks on me. I won't make you do karaoke lol"

    He replied: "Hey I just got home I would love to just not tonight I'm in a funk extra tired And yes no karaoke."

    He use the same excuse he always uses. So I ignored him didn't even write back. He always seems to have time for everybody else but me.

    So I was resigned to just let him go and work with him until I find another job. I was to show no emotion about the whole thing today. However, he comes in at the end of the day And says did you go out to karaoke. I look at him and all of my anger returns and I robotically say "No, no I did not. " I walked away and when I come back he had left my desk. He proceeded to walk by 3 times as I ignored him and worked on my time sheet (which I hate doing so you know I was pissed if I'd rather do my time sheet than talk to him).
    One time he walked by, he pretended to trip up the stairs and made a big commotion about it limping past my desk to see if I would respond to it and ask if he was OK, I did not ask.

    Then when I got up to ask people if they needed help I came back to my desk and my phone had a sticky note on it facedown I picked it up and there was a heart on the sticky note.

    I am so mad ?. For someone who doesn't want butter to do with me, who doesn't make me a priority, you want to leave hearts on my phone? If he doesn't like me in that way why is he sending me mixed signals like that!

    Is he treetrunking with my head?

    I'm not sure what to do I haven't called him because I'm afraid I'll cuss him out. I could go in tomorrow and treat him like we are just co workers and not friends but I tired that today and failed.

    Sigh I need wine for whine tonight. Bottoms up ?.


    I didn't read this yet, but I saw the glass of wine and I'm totally having one with you!! Cheers!
  • LadyNeptune
    πŸŒ΅πŸ‹πŸŒΏ
    He seems high maintenance. Your already almost pulling your hair out and you aren't even dating, imagine the mental strain of being his gf. This one goes in the douche bag jar.
  • pinkbird03
    Cancer πŸ’•
    Funny. I'm feeling frustrated too tonight with my cap. I feel a strong connection with him yet I feel a million miles apart.

    The heart note was very, very sweet. I think he does like you!

    But how do you get a cap guy to commit???
  • MoonyEYES88
    Cancer Sun : Aqua Moon : Virgo Rising
    It sounds like he likes you and wants to keep you around though it also sounds like he's depressed. a down cappy tends to brood about things. Is depression a possibility? I can imagine if he went out with his friends and not you, it may be because he is comfortable enough with them to not put on a fake smile in front of them...just a guess
  • kdee53
    100 % Taurus Female
    female
    Posted by pinkbird03
    Funny. I'm feeling frustrated too tonight with my cap. I feel a strong connection with him yet I feel a million miles apart.

    The heart note was very, very sweet. I think he does like you!

    But how do you get a cap guy to commit???


    this is the million dollar question!
  • daron76
    Cap Sun, Aries Ascend, Cancer Moon, Venus Aqua
    male
    Lawd....


    Soo maybe its time to call him on his BS? I've been called on mine before. I was young (26). I didn't recognize this woman was interested in me and I thought we were just having a good time . We had been flirting for a while (she was a Leo) according to her- I thought we had just been joking around. One day we were leaving a fundraiser (so we had been drinking a little bit) while we were waiting for her cab she turned to me and said " So am I getting dick tonight or what?" It took that for me to realize what was going on her end. We spent the next 10 yrs as on and off sexual partners and good friends. So, while her method may not be a great for a "relationship" it did work to "get an itch scratched" Tongue .

    Not that you should have to put your self out there like that. I'm just sayin...

    But, again.... ol boy... smh "utters under breath... this MF right here"

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