Obsessed With Looks

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by Wineaux15 on Friday, September 1, 2017 and has 32 replies.

How to Overcome Obsession with Looks and Boost Self-Esteem

Focusing on inner qualities and practicing self-acceptance can help reduce obsession with appearance. Remember that true confidence comes from within and external validation is temporary. Building a positive self-image involves challenging negative thoughts and embracing your uniqueness. Seek support if needed to navigate these feelings and restore your emotional well-being.

Profile picture of Wineaux15
@Wineaux15
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Lately I've been obsessed with my looks. I'm miserable! Usually I don't give a f*#% what others think of me, but nowadays if someone says... "you've gained a bit" or whatever they may say it really hurts my feelings and gets to me. Next thing you know I'm obsessing to "looksmax" or "Maxmilla". I put photos in my photos section but only for a bit before I delete... soon I'll take them down because I'm so suspicious. Is anyone else going through this? What are you doing to get through this shallow period! It's soooo not me and killing me slowly.

Profile picture of Capricorn91
@Capricorn91
9 Years1,000+ Posts

It is ok. You just need to maintain balance between self love and narcissism. It is not bad to focus on your looks. Sometimes it is required so that we can focus on the aspects which can improve our appearance and that gives us some confidence and we might even adopt a healthy life style just because of it.

Profile picture of Wineaux15
@Wineaux15
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Capricorn91
It is ok. You just need to maintain balance between self love and narcissism. It is not bad to focus on your looks. Sometimes it is required so that we can focus on the aspects which can improve our appearance and that gives us some confidence and we might even adopt a healthy life style just because of it.

I severely I agree with this

Profile picture of Wineaux15
@Wineaux15
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Yeah..... it hurt and I'm taking it too personally. I'm used to being small. Even after 4 kids I was at my biggest a size 7... now I have a few people make that comment... I checked my weight and I gained 7 pounds. I'm more irritated with myself for caring though.

Profile picture of Wineaux15
@Wineaux15
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by tiziani
The best job I can do in relating is just my worries at growing the appetite of a horse. I'm fearful that these are the years coming up where I put on a stomach that I cannot outrun. Luckily, I've had a fast metabolism all my life but it all slows down one day.

Can't say it's developed into taking pictures but I've become a lot more conscious of my posture and resting facial expressions.

It's healthy as long as I'm not just using myself as a reference. You don't want to become your own echo chamber otherwise your intelligence suffers (as in the intelligence of using the wider world around you as a reference for your reality). By "you" I mean "me".

There was a moment where I was at risk of falling into the "looks don't matter as much as what's inside" crowd, you know the types to say things that sound really wholesome but are fundamentally empty and make you feel nothing, or that someone has just tried to shut you up from voicing things that bother them more than you.

Just dodge the whole the rherotic around looks and hang around people who can give real insight into what works for you. One of my good friend is a PT and he generally keeps me on a solid grounding. Not to say a PT is what matches your interests, but it did for mine.

You're right. I should be grateful for the honesty.

Profile picture of outofdarkness
@outofdarkness
9 YearsLibra

Posted by Capricorn91
It is ok. You just need to maintain balance between self love and narcissism. It is not bad to focus on your looks. Sometimes it is required so that we can focus on the aspects which can improve our appearance and that gives us some confidence and we might even adopt a healthy life style just because of it.

+1

Profile picture of outofdarkness
@outofdarkness
9 YearsLibra

Posted by drunkghost
yeah it's tough to find the middle ground but practice good health habits like working out, taking care of your skin, and watching what you eat will put you in that mind set where you feel good regardless of what others opinions may be

It's all about balance.

Profile picture of Wineaux15
@Wineaux15
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Rozaeon
I don't understand what " looksmax " means, and i don't have a problem with how i look nor give a fuck about what people has to say

However i have a big big problem regarding body image for like 10 years, and even if i'm underweight i'm obsessed with it, and i feel you 100% when you said that you are too hard on yourself, i am too ( and Capricorn as one of my dominant sign too haha )

Yes it's a true issue for me. It's a curse because I'm always criticizing myself. I wouldn't even consider it a blessing.

Profile picture of Wineaux15
@Wineaux15
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Rozaeon

Posted by Wineaux15

Posted by Rozaeon
I don't understand what " looksmax " means, and i don't have a problem with how i look nor give a fuck about what people has to say

However i have a big big problem regarding body image for like 10 years, and even if i'm underweight i'm obsessed with it, and i feel you 100% when you said that you are too hard on yourself, i am too ( and Capricorn as one of my dominant sign too haha )

Yes it's a true issue for me. It's a curse because I'm criticizing myself. I wouldn't even consider it a blessing.

I know right

Have you try to read some self help or personal development book on this subject ? I'm currently reading some of them and it helps. The progress are not instant but even baby steps are good ^^

Also you're right to be suspicious to post pictures on this website

click to expand

I haven't, but I'm open. What books are you currently reading?

Profile picture of Montgomery
@Montgomery
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Wineaux15
Yeah..... it hurt and I'm taking it too personally. I'm used to being small. Even after 4 kids I was at my biggest a size 7... now I have a few people make that comment... I checked my weight and I gained 7 pounds. I'm more irritated with myself for caring though.

4 kids o.O

7 pounds on a small person looks like more.

That's all.

I gained 5 awhile back but it's pretty much gone

by now... Idk how, and I don't care, but I will tell

that it coincided with putting the damned

Butterfingers down.

Twice the crap as regular goodies.

Point being, it's probably something small...

just have a look at what you may be doing

differently now than you were before.

Don't give it more weight (lol) than it deserves.

Profile picture of Wineaux15
@Wineaux15
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by OrGasMe

Posted by Wineaux15
Lately I've been obsessed with my looks. I'm miserable! Usually I don't give a f*#% what others think of me, but nowadays if someone says... "you've gained a bit" or whatever they may say it really hurts my feelings and gets to me. Next thing you know I'm obsessing to "looksmax" or "Maxmilla". I put photos in my photos section but only for a bit before I delete... soon I'll take them down because I'm so suspicious. Is anyone else going through this? What are you doing to get through this shallow period! It's soooo not me and killing me slowly.

I gene heard Aquas are going through weird stuff right now. Blame it on a planet. LOL

click to expand

I am going through some weird ish right now! Truly weird.

Profile picture of Wineaux15
@Wineaux15
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by SofiaV87
I care about my looks all the time, I get it.. sometimes it can get out of hand.. that's when I step back, breathe & say to myself stop obsessing lol

I wish I could do that. It'd be so much easier for me. I always try to sit and reflect daily and the other day I was reflecting on why image is so important. When I look at my mom's side of the family( my mom and my mom's mom) they're like size 2's and still look young. I have a baby face, but I'm working out daily to be 7,8, or size 9 sometimes! I'm trying to measure up to them and I'm failing miserably.

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@SofiaV87
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Wineaux15

Posted by SofiaV87
I care about my looks all the time, I get it.. sometimes it can get out of hand.. that's when I step back, breathe & say to myself stop obsessing lol

I wish I could do that. It'd be so much easier for me. I always try to sit and reflect daily and the other day I was reflecting on why image is so important. When I look at my mom's side of the family( my mom and my mom's mom) they're like size 2's and still look young. I have a baby face, but I'm working out daily to be 7,8, or size 9 sometimes! I'm trying to measure up to them and I'm failing miserably.

click to expand

Cuz the world we live in is obsessively image conscious , it's disturbing but it's the disturbing truth.. i see women with great bodies in all those sizes.. don't worry about the size , I know u wanna feel good but don't make it about the size

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@Wineaux15
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Fortuna
Get your endorphins going...get outside, be active. Give yourself some 'me' time, do something nice for yourself. it'll make you feel better. At least you're doing things for yourself to improve whatever it is you're currently unhappy about.

The way you view yourself is more important than anyone else.

I do yoga with my daughter every morning outside. That does make me feel better.

Profile picture of Wineaux15
@Wineaux15
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Fortuna

Posted by Wineaux15

Posted by SofiaV87
I care about my looks all the time, I get it.. sometimes it can get out of hand.. that's when I step back, breathe & say to myself stop obsessing lol

I wish I could do that. It'd be so much easier for me. I always try to sit and reflect daily and the other day I was reflecting on why image is so important. When I look at my mom's side of the family( my mom and my mom's mom) they're like size 2's and still look young. I have a baby face, but I'm working out daily to be 7,8, or size 9 sometimes! I'm trying to measure up to them and I'm failing miserably.

Just saw that you are working out. Maybe invest in a trainer if you can. Or change up your work out routines, you may need to trick your body, if it gets used to the same workouts

click to expand

I think I do need to trick my body. I think my body is accustomed to what I've been doing.

Profile picture of SofiaV87
@SofiaV87
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Fortuna
Get your endorphins going...get outside, be active. Give yourself some 'me' time, do something nice for yourself. it'll make you feel better. At least you're doing things for yourself to improve whatever it is you're currently unhappy about.

The way you view yourself is more important than anyone else.

Yea what she said, the way U view yourself is more important than anyone else ..I live by that

Profile picture of Palerio
@Palerio
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by Wineaux15
Lately I've been obsessed with my looks. I'm miserable! Usually I don't give a f*#% what others think of me, but nowadays if someone says... "you've gained a bit" or whatever they may say it really hurts my feelings and gets to me. Next thing you know I'm obsessing to "looksmax" or "Maxmilla". I put photos in my photos section but only for a bit before I delete... soon I'll take them down because I'm so suspicious. Is anyone else going through this? What are you doing to get through this shallow period! It's soooo not me and killing me slowly.

Being obsessed with one's looks is an Aqua trait.

Profile picture of LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by Wineaux15

Posted by Rozaeon
I don't understand what " looksmax " means, and i don't have a problem with how i look nor give a fuck about what people has to say

However i have a big big problem regarding body image for like 10 years, and even if i'm underweight i'm obsessed with it, and i feel you 100% when you said that you are too hard on yourself, i am too ( and Capricorn as one of my dominant sign too haha )

Yes it's a true issue for me. It's a curse because I'm always criticizing myself. I wouldn't even consider it a blessing.

click to expand

Don't be too hard on yourself. Cause 10, 20, 30 years from now your gonna be thinking back and wishing you had enjoyed it more.

Profile picture of Wineaux15
@Wineaux15
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Wineaux15

Posted by Rozaeon
I don't understand what " looksmax " means, and i don't have a problem with how i look nor give a fuck about what people has to say

However i have a big big problem regarding body image for like 10 years, and even if i'm underweight i'm obsessed with it, and i feel you 100% when you said that you are too hard on yourself, i am too ( and Capricorn as one of my dominant sign too haha )

Yes it's a true issue for me. It's a curse because I'm always criticizing myself. I wouldn't even consider it a blessing.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Cause 10, 20, 30 years from now your gonna be thinking back and wishing you had enjoyed it more.

click to expand

As always, you're right

Profile picture of jane84
@jane84
10 Years1,000+ Posts

My sister is an Aqua (with a lot of cap too) and she was just telling me the other day she felt fat!

This girl has never been fat in her life!

Everyone feels that way sometimes. But you just have to remind yourself that there is no one in this world like you and whatever someone says is more of a reflection of how they feel about themselves anyway.

You look good by the way! Sucks to feel that way. Don't let it get you down for too long. Just take care of yourself when needed.