Pumping the brakes on Cappy Man

There was a 3 week gap between our first and second meet. Third date we shacked up. Two days after he asked "When am I seeing you again." So, we set up an activity date later in the week. At the last minute, he said he wasn't feeling it and if I wanted to come over or do the activity the following week. I was not happy with the last minute change of plans, so I declined both offers.

Two days after that, I wished him happy new years and explained that things got intense way faster than I could digest (in lieu of what I told him previously). Then saw him again a week after that. Got a "I've been busy, hope things are great" text several days later. Seems as things are working. So, my question is this is what dating looks like to a Cappy, yes? I wasn't sure if pumping the brakes on him is deterring him any. I'd like to know I'm placing my strats properly: set my boundaries and keep him interested. I like this one.

Him Sun Cap/Moon Gem/Mercury Cap/Venus Cap/Mars Aqua

Posted by Capri-sun
It doesn't sound like you like him to much if he offered to reschedule and you declined for no reason other than you didn't like the fact of him cancelling last minute.

I was afraid that was the message I gave. There were various reasons, but mostly I wasnt prepared to jump into things so fast and the intensity made me feel the need to retreat. Once in that mode, I have a hard time making any decisions until I iron out my thoughts and feelings.

Since this seems to be the case, what could I do or say to express my full interest?

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by LadyAnon

Posted by Capri-sun
It doesn't sound like you like him to much if he offered to reschedule and you declined for no reason other than you didn't like the fact of him cancelling last minute.

I was afraid that was the message I gave. There were various reasons, but mostly I wasnt prepared to jump into things so fast and the intensity made me feel the need to retreat. Once in that mode, I have a hard time making any decisions until I iron out my thoughts and feelings.

Since this seems to be the case, what could I do or say to express my full interest?

Whatever you would normally do or say. Just be yourself

click to expand

I appreciate your input, Capri-Sun 🙂

Posted by Rindaroo


Well my boyfriend is a Cap, and to be honest what worked was waiting til he was interested & letting him pursue me. It was 4 months after the initial date & interest started. He was kinda wishy washy & I wasn't having it, so I let it fade away. He came back when he was serious & ready to show me he was serious.

Yes. It's all I got. They're super sweet. Hope you and your Cap are having a blast. 🙂

Wow! Update: he would text me every 5-6 days or so to say something along the lines of 'hope you are great, i've been busy, lets get together soon'. This went on for almost a month and he wasn't initiating anything else, I felt like I was getting crumbs so I gave him the 'i'm taking space because you dont know what you want' message 2 days before Vday. I needed to clear the energy of anticipation and neediness I was beginning to feel.

No contact for 2 weeks. Two nights ago I initiated a convo with 'your legs must be tired.' It was all fun and games until he asked when I will come see him again. I responded with 'depends. Lets mix it up. Do you like food?' But that didn't get too far.

This morning, I went in for the kill. Recap: we have not spoken about anything serious since our 'tell me about yourself' convo when we first met. In one swift text, I said I never asked him what he was looking for and proceeded to tell him what I am looking for: dynamic partnership, new experiences, greater heights in self development, and seed to sow. His response, 'I'm a go with the flow kind of guy'. He has a way with words, so it sounded very cool. Otherwise, my mind was groveling the rest of the day.

(Was really trying to keep this short so thanks if you're even reading this far.) Tonight he asked me about something I didn't even know he was paying attention when I said it. He offered up a tidbit about him starting a celibacy thing. I'm like wow, he's actually sharing and talking about something with substance. He's a man with incredible depth, but just havent really shared much with me up until now. I explained what I was working on months ago and he goes straight into "Lets do it together and we can be cuddle buddies to make it easier." What?!

So I am having so many thoughts running through my head. 1) yess! He's making plans with me 2) he's cool about the whole serious talk 3) we are working on our goals together 4) this friendship will help me get to know him better 5) wait.... did he just friendzone me? Wtf?!

What just happened?

Posted by Capri-sun


1. What do you want?

Do you want a committed relationship? Do you want to go with the flow? Do you want a fwb situation? Do you want sex? Do you not want sex? Do you trust not only yourself but him as well to just cuddle seeing how you've already had sex? Do you want more communication?

It could be games or he could be being sincere.

You should have a very clear & defined idea of what you want before moving forward in any way.

*** You're awesome Capri-Sun.



Do you want a committed relationship?

Yes.

Do you want to go with the flow?

Yes.

Do you want a fwb situation?

Absolutely not.

Do you want sex?

All the time.

Do you not want sex?

Depends on the project.

Do you trust not only yourself but him as well to just cuddle seeing how you've already had sex?

We will discuss this.

Do you want more communication?

Yes.

This helps me frame my next move.