I need help understanding my Gemini boyfriend (Page 2)

Yes jen Gemini is a mutable sign so we can change, we switch back and forth sometime but that's our nature because we want to make the right decision's. Were always thinking so just give him time to gather his thought's he will come around, Gem's can surprise people especially when people think we don't have what it takes to keep a relationship going...But stay positive you will be fine!

Posted by Jen0149
Your right, I don't like him, I love him. Sounds 2 me like u r an angry and troubled person.

Got her.

Posted by Jen0149
That is what u do in a relationship is focus on each other. I'm doing my part? My concern has been if Gemini's are always this way or can than change. If your not a Gemini then I don't know why we r even having this discussion. Have u noticed when u speak, u make no sense and talk in circles.

^^^ I like her! Didn't take her long at all to figure out the phoney manipulator's game, did it? P-Angelina is losing her touch. HaHa! 🙂

I'm in the mood for some House music.

Le Babar ft. Blackout Disco - Missy Cleveland (Adulture dub) by Adulture


WWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awwww Yeah!!

memory lanes

There ya go!!!! Love that!!! Haven't heard that in a minute!!

🙂
timeless...

RoamingFree, when I look at your avatar it reminds me of this song. 🙂

Posted by Jen0149
Your right, I don't like him, I love him.

Hmmm, as far as I understand 'love', it has to be shown for someone to feel it.

So I'm sorry but I am struggling to see what you love this guy for? What exactly has he done in the lines of actually consistently expressing goodness, kindness, attention, care, etc, to you in order for you to feel this love?

All I can read is you wanting to save him and it is coming across to me like you pity him.

People have to be whole in order for them to get into a relationship and give it their best, he isn't whole, you have recognised that, but now he has to deal with his issues himself and also deal with the stress of a relationship?

Please have mercy on this dude I beg you, you can't turn him into what you want, he's gotta come to you whole. Why he isn't whole, no one but him can really answer that question, we can only guess

Nu Disco!

^ lol

http://media.photobucket.com/image/remy martin/lilshep21_photos/remy_martin.jpg?o=11" target="_blank">

http://media.photobucket.com/image/howling wolf/wolfgrljin/wolf_howling.jpg?o=16" target="_blank">

Well I have came to one of my daughters baccalarte (sp) by myself. He wouldn't come. And he new my ex from last year and his b@@@@ was going to be there.

Posted by GeminiMind
RoamingFree, when I look at your avatar it reminds me of this song. 🙂

I'm sorry. *Kicks can*

LL, now you just get to catch up at night, have a sip-o-wine, and chillax for the rest of the the evening. You're welcome! 😉

HaHaHaHaHaHaHa!!!!!

My boyfriend has left headed to New Mexico for about 7 days. His daughter is graduating. I would have went, but my two girls are graduating a few days apart. I miss him already.

jen0149 my ex was a gemini and also my gay best friend (who I was in love with for a while.. lol) they are very selfish people. sorry to offend geminis on here but all the ones I know are exactly the same and drive me nuts. They have to have their way, they crave attention and admiration, they are impulsive, do what they want, and don't care about anyone else. My ex was always complaining about never having money but he'd work 3 jobs and then go backpack in Costa Rica. He took me to Olive Garden once, we were together a year and a half and that's the ONLY time he really paid for anything. Ugh, I hate Gemini men! Seriously honey, I took a relationship class in college taught by a married couple.. they said (and this is kinda depressing, but true).. in a relationship, it doesn't get better. You suddenly won't be magically happier.. it is what it is now and there's pretty much no way for it to get better. No offense but your guy sounds like an ass. I know it's hard to leave someone you love but girl.. you are doing all the investing in this relationship and he sounds like he doesn't care. The person who cares more ALWAYS loses. I'd say leave him while you can, while you still have the upperhand. Good luck!

roxyfalcon, everything you wrote about us is not true, i know im not that way. so watch who you disrepect every Gem is not the same keep that in-mind!!!

Posted by P-Angel

You are the only thing in this whole situation that needs to be fixed. He isn't even a part of it at all. Because he is him, and he has shown you who he is .. and you refuse to believe this is him, and are demanding that he be what you have in your head as to what you want as a man who is supposed to love you.

This is a fantasy, in which you don't even know you're having.

I reiterate this ... you cannot make him into what you want him to be. He has shown you who he is, and you cannot change him, you cannot save him, or whatever scene it is you have running in your fantasy.

He isn't even a part of your love .. he is merely a character you've assigned to play the part.

sorry gemini78, I was on a rant.. I'm sure you're not ALL bad.. just the ones I've experienced have been similar, haha

Posted by Gemini78
roxyfalcon, everything you wrote about us is not true, i know im not that way. so watch who you disrepect every Gem is not the same keep that in-mind!!!

Of course none of the rhetoric is true. If someone calls a Gemini selfish and were to say those things about us, it's because you aren't worthy. Period. Those that know the true nature of the Gemini would never say such bullshit, because they ARE worthy.

Also, Gemini's are mutable, so we tend to be products of our environment. If the person has problems with us, they really have problems with themselves. I bet that poster isn't such a good person, from how she describes a Gemini. She just had a mirror pointed in her face, that's all, and it wasn't pretty. So she's projecting probably. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

I have noticed if I back off and don't seem needy as he calls it, then he comes to me. Questions for Gemini's. Can u love someone the way they need love? Is it true Gemini's are selfish and think of theirselves? What does a Gemini expect in a relationship?

Posted by Jen0149
I have noticed if I back off and don't seem needy as he calls it, then he comes to me. Questions for Gemini's. Can u love someone the way they need love? Is it true Gemini's are selfish and think of theirselves? What does a Gemini expect in a relationship?

Listen to what you're saying. I would never take you or your feelings seriously, and I'm a Gemini. You sound selfish and emotionally needy which makes you high maintenance. He won't be around long. Sorry, that's a bit of honesty for you.

Posted by P-Angel
I reiterate this ... you cannot make him into what you want him to be. He has shown you who he is, and you cannot change him, you cannot save him, or whatever scene it is you have running in your fantasy He isn't even a part of your love .. he is merely a character you've assigned to play the part.



I live in no fantasy and if I did, don't you think his character you say I have assigned him to would come true. Its a fantasy right, which I can have control over anything I want to happen. Get a life. Sounds like you are the one living in a fantasy. This is real life, come back to reality.

Posted by Jen0149
I have noticed if I back off and don't seem needy as he calls it, then he comes to me.

Yes, that's the way it works.

Can u love someone the way they need love?

It depends on how they express that need. First of all, I need to be aware of how they need love displayed. Everyone has a different way of wanting love expressed, and if their way isn't my way then I might not understand that I'm not giving what's needed. If you are very clingy or needy, I won't be able to give you what you need. It's not that I wouldn't want to- it's that I wouldn't be able to. I don't have the capacity to carry someone else's load, which is basically what a needy person is asking for. Plus, I'll be too busy trying to escape and will be gasping for air- yes, it will literally feel like I'm being suffocated.

Is it true Gemini's are selfish and think of theirselves?

Are we selfish- no (naturally, there are exceptions). I bend over backwards to help people. But, I will follow the inner voice that tell me what I need to do and when I need to do it, and it may not jive with what other people want or need. My life is mine, and although I might share it with you, I'm the one who has to walk my path and I need to do what I need to do. Sometimes, I might get so caught up in doing that that I don't notice that toes are being stepped on and need to be reminded.

If you take advantage of me or push me, or if you prove yourself to be a backstabber, then I'll leave you in the dust by the side of the road while I look out for number one. You won't see it coming, but rest assured that you will have deserved it or I would never have had the heart to do it. Beyond that, though, I want good things for myself, but I also want everyone to come along for the ride and have those same good things, too.

What does a Gemini expect in a relationship?

click to expand

To fully express what's inside without judgement. To be a full partner. To have my intelligence respected. Fun and adventure and deep talks.

I can agree with all that whimsy said above. From my experience, those who think I'm insensitive or moody are those who ask from me more than I can give. I will be generous with all parts of my life, but you can never own me. I will be loyal and stick by someone I love even when I know they are wrong, but loyalty doesn't mean I can be commanded. I will look forward to waking up next to someone I care for every morning, but I have other people in my life and other goals as well. If someone came to me with a problem, then I will do everything within my means to solve that problem. That doesn't they're the only person I would stick my neck out for.

Love to us isn't being locked away in your world or even ours. Love for us is open, with room for us to grow and to explore everything exciting and new. We don't just hold that for ourselves. We're giving that to YOU as well, because, in our eyes, thats the most valuable thing we have to offer. We won't to conquer the world with you, not be stuck in our hobbit hole for an eternity. If you don't get that, then we were wrong about you. If you don't get that, then you don't get us.

want* teeheehee

He feels I'm needy because the two full days a month I have off, I won't to spend with him. He has 4 Sundays and 2 Saturdays to do what he wants while I am working. I have gotten home from work at 6:15am and stayed up to make him breakfast around 8am then I got to bed so I can get up later to go back to work. He works days, I work nites. How much more time does he need. And when I call him out on a lie he has told me, how come he says this isn't going to work, we need to go our seperate ways. Is it because he doesn't have a good reason for lieing? Why would he tell me no to going to the beach, but if the neighbors ask we go. Why does he tell me he can't come eat with me at work 2 nites a month because we don't have the money, but takes his Aunt and Uncle out to eat and pay for it. I asked him why and he said I really don't feel like driving that far. I told him it was only 20 miles and all he was going to do is sit on the couch. Why do gemini's not like doing things we ask of them. I leave him sticky notes or give him cards for no reason, I get no response from him. How come he couldn't do the same for me. I was married for 16 yrs when my ex cheated on me for the 3rd time and I filed for a divorce. The one he left me for was 53yrs old. Anyway, I had got content with my marriage and did not need any reminders he loved me. I just assumed, so that's why I need the reassurance for my boyfriend. I won't be that way forever. I just need help understanding him and why he does what he does. He can be gentle at times, when he feels like it. He tells our neighbor friends he loves my girls and I, but he acts differently. I have tried talking to him about different things. I can't get him to open up. If I bring up sex to talk about, he will not discuss it. He looks at porn on the internet, but if I ask him for us to go to an adult store he says no. Ask him let's watch a porn video and he says he's not going to watch that trash. Sorry to have written so much, it just flows out when I start. Also asked if we could do different positions during sex instead of him on me or vice versa, he said he will see. That means no in his book.

i read all the above pages and comments. he has some inner battles hes going through. Despite your genuine love and care for him, the constant grilling of questions, suspicion, empty questioning has caused him to associate you as ONE of the issues. Yet the same time Because he is going through a lot inside, he is confused. and he knows it.

clinginess/neediness only exists if one person doesn't feel the same. i'm saying he doesn't feel the same for you anymore. the actions are all right there you know? i mean look at what HE IS doing and ISN't doing.

what he is doing:
he buys you gifts on appropriate occasions. thats standard for a gemini- they are giving and caring beings. that is applied to everyone they love. "everyone" family, friends, you, co-workers.

what he isn't doing:

he isn't making time for you,..rather excuses. I understand he has issues..but hey if your the one he loves, shouldn't he also be expressing the same amount to you as well? i mean every bad and good relationships on a whole have patterns.

The question on gemini's being selfish or whatnot..i think everyone is selfish. they aren't..they just have a balance. and they try to balance. Can they love? YES...may not be the passionate. "i cannot live without you. i would die" sort of love. ironically, i feel in a broader sense..they aren't as fickle as they may sound. they're love could be slow and steady..stable and long. Does ANYONE have the capacity to love others the way the need? that is difficult...even for you. are you loving him the way he needs? no.


what i think he needs: is someone who just trusts him rather question him. especially if he is going through some rough times...he would want a partner that loves him..and that his partner will allow him to take care of his business. To have a partner that is strong when he is weak. Love to him means to trust and honor the other person's everything..weakness..failures...fears. etc. and knowing that this person will also do the same. really shedding all ego barriers and being vulnerable with each other really...

but what happens if one would to become one the cause for his confusion, sadness, anger, hurt? He associates you with all that. demanding, selfish, short sighted perhaps? (listing possibilities)

what to do: bite that tongue. just keep your thoughts and questions to yourself and answer them on your own. no need to ask why. i feel that most of your why's to him are like a child asking an adult "why is the sky blue" "why can't i go outside" they're useless questions. he probably is thinking "how can she not know the answer?"

if you must solve anything...do it through actions. start sending him sweet texts..fun and flirty texts. be strong. be the fun girl that you are. go out and have some fun. but konw that you love him and that the freedom apart from each other will bring you guys closer because its comfortable knowing you have someone that loves you and understands you and trusts you. now that is love...

text or call him and leave vm if he isn't available. dangle the prize in front of him *you* make him associate that when its you..its fun...no more stress..a haven of refuge away from the outside world. pamper him. massage him. most importantly..even if you feel so neglected because he isn't "loving" you...the way you think lvoe is. remember from his shoes...that when he does its love. thats all that matters.

ok so when you find him not responsive to your improvement over weeks..it may be discouraging. but just be yourself and not be phased by his moods. he'll come around.

if you continue to ask him questions...he'll drift further away

as to the sex:

just use actions to get what you want. no need for words. if you want new positions then go do it. and he'll follow. if you want something THEN GO GET IT.

Posted by Jen0149

This is real life, come back to reality.

I actually feel sorry for you.

Read your description on the first page ... it talks of a man to whom you don't even like, but, you are damned set on making it worthy of love.

You're not alone ... there are millions of you out there who think the situation is different than the reality of it.

You are 10 years younger than him girl! You should be struttin' your stuff and he should be GLAD he has you. So, act like that. Stop doing all those "little" things for him. Pull back and let him do for you. It sounds like he will go out with you in a group before the 2 of you alone. Probably because he doesn't want to answer questions from you. It could be that he is depressed, or it could be that he feels he will never be good enough for you. Stop trying to control the relationship, its not fair to put YOUR expectations on another person. If he isn't what you want, leave him. If he is, accept him as is.

Posted by Jen0149
I wrote the wrong age for me. I am 39 and he is turning 40.

Sorry, just read this, but you can still strut your stuff...lol

P-Angel I bet you go on everyone's comments and post negative things. Seems to me you don't know how to be positive. Know wonder people on here say the things they do about you.

Her projections, hypocrisy, and quackery knows no bounds.

Lol 🙂

Posted by Jen0149
P-Angel I bet you go on everyone's comments and post negative things. Seems to me you don't know how to be positive. Know wonder people on here say the things they do about you.

I'd like to say this isn't true, but unfortunately even though some of her advice is good she has given advice based on spite.

However, she is right about your situation in a way. You shouldn't even be having this conversation. Get some respect for yourself girl. Like Sagittarius said, strut your stuff. You can do so much better. Cheers for the entertaining thread tho, it was a treat.

She's 39 and clinging on for dear life....We Aqua girls can be quite the masochist emotionally and controlling when we are fixed on keeping a man we deeply want.

From the little I read Jen is desperate in every way which would turn any man off, she's so desperate that she's avoiding the reality of how poorly she's being treated and instead focusing only on trying to heal and fix him and she's forgotten about herself and the more she focuses on him the more he'll focus on himself and forget about her, she's encouraging him to be selfish by completely focusing all of her energy and attention on him. She's being a fool b/c she desperately wants to avoid getting back into the real world and starting over again.

Jen I can't say for sure he's cheating but by you working at night their is a strong possibility there is another woman hanging/lurking around in the background, I'm not sure what exactly you are doing that makes him stay but it seems he feels intense guilt over not being able to love you like you love him, he also may be content having you be his doormat while he courts another woman/women on the side.

From one fellow Aqua to another...Shift out of your stubbornness and think about you for a change, you cannot change a man PERIOD, the only person you can change and control is yourself so at some point please stop making his problems and issues your problems and issues, back off and start being more observant about his comings and goings, I wouldn't be surprised that he's found someone much younger than you or contemplating a replacement, I hope your not paying his bills and attempting to coerce and buy his love, let him go and please stop chasing him, your only making matters worse for yourself and for the relationship...