I think I was just abandoned by one of your kind....advice welcome.

Hello, whoever I am talking to. Recently, I decided to chat up a very good-looking girl, but I made a mistake on my part, because during a rather busy week, I didn't message her at all. Before that, we had an okay-ish conversation, but I was very cautious about what I said, since she is connected to a group of some very nasty women and I will never share personal information unless it's worth doing. I also made a rather impolite remark after she didn't message me for a week. Today, I finally got around to text her again, but she basically only read the messages and didn't say anything.

I believe that it was a bad mistake on my part and I'm not sure what to do. We had a reasonably good chemistry, but I basically pulled the most typical Aqua thing and disappeared for a week or so.

I'd like to know if I should attempt to continue the conversation (since holidays are around the corner, I will have a lot of spare time), or if I should give her the silent treatment as well and move on. Keep in mind, both of us are playing the same sport and will most definitely meet again during the summer or at certain events.

I can provide additional details if necessary. I understand that this post will probably come off as something written by someone who should be locked up, but I can't prevent my possessiveness and insecurity, sorry. Since I'm a very shy person, I don't know if I will ever force myself to go on a date.

TL;DR

Radio silence from a Gemini who I had good chemistry with. Only 1 friend of mine knows about this, but I don't know how many of her friends know about the conversation. I can:

A) Do the same and give up on establishing a relationship.

B) Wait for a while and dedicate more time.

C) Do something else.

Again, I'm sorry for coming off as a very bad individual. I just don't know what to do and I will never trust my family with these matters.

If you feel she doesn't answer because you disappear then talk sincerely, but trying not to sound pushy.

It depends a lot in the past conversation and how many days have been since you last talked

You don't come off as a very bad individual

Posted by Blackburn
If you feel she doesn't answer because you disappear then talk sincerely, but trying not to sound pushy.

It depends a lot in the past conversation and how many days have been since you last talked

You don't come off as a very bad individual

We started talking around October/November. Early on we talked quite a bit, but over time it dropped to a few texts a week. I didn't have any time for two weeks and only now decided to message her.

Posted by Gem_from_Venus
Did you go from lots of messaging to no messaging? If so, she might think you met another girl or lost interest, that didn't work out, and now you're back, and she's second choice. I try to believe people when they tell me they got too busy at work or something to text me, but I do not. I never forget about the person I'm crushing on, and if they forget me, hell hath no fury.

But maybe that's just me.

That's what I'm afraid of - even though I'm as faithful and as honest as I can be (I find cheating unacceptable), I'm deeply afraid of this being the case. My last message was literally "I was busy".

Posted by TheGreatSearcher

Posted by Blackburn
If you feel she doesn't answer because you disappear then talk sincerely, but trying not to sound pushy.

It depends a lot in the past conversation and how many days have been since you last talked

You don't come off as a very bad individual

We started talking around October/November. Early on we talked quite a bit, but over time it dropped to a few texts a week. I didn't have any time for two weeks and only now decided to message her.

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So you didn't ignore her, neither she did; so I think you can* talk to her.

But I agree with @Tiziani, you should focus on yourself, building confidence and self-steem more than focusing your attention in how others see you.

Posted by TheLibraMudra
Uh. Just fucking message her.

What do I say to her then?

lol do everything in your own terms if she likes you it doesn't matter what you do she'll still be there.

Posted by TheLibraMudra
Also, it takes 10 damn seconds to say "how are ya? I've been really busy but thinking about you"

Mind reading the post? I have no fucking idea about what she thinks of me and she might have shown the entire conversation to her friends. One small fuck up can cost me the rest of my life for all I know.

Posted by TheLibraMudra

Posted by TheGreatSearcher

Posted by TheLibraMudra
Uh. Just fucking message her.

What do I say to her then?

Whatever the hell you want lol

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It's 11:39PM, I doubt she is even awake.

Posted by confusingconfused

Posted by TheGreatSearcher

Posted by TheLibraMudra
Also, it takes 10 damn seconds to say "how are ya? I've been really busy but thinking about you"

Mind reading the post? I have no fucking idea about what she thinks of me and she might have shown the entire conversation to her friends. One small fuck up can cost me the rest of my life for all I know.

You are way to self-absorbed...

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Thank you for your advice, that was very useful.

Posted by TheGreatSearcher
during a rather busy week, I didn't message her at all.

I also made a rather impolite remark after she didn't message me for a week.

Today, I finally got around to text her again, but she basically only read the messages and didn't say anything.

It's ironic that you are behaving in the same exact manner that she did. After admonishing her for disappearing and then doing the same thing yourself why wouldn't she repeat the pattern?

Posted by littlenanobyte
I am saying A to just leave it be and move on, because it really turned me off whenever you said that you sent HER a nasty message for not responding for a week and then directly after you just did the same thing to her.

There is nothing more of a turn off for a guy to get on my case for not messaging him. You said you sent a nasty message... you would appear needy and insecure, and yes, I would likely show/tell my friends.

Essentially you're saying that you're allowed to fall off the face of the earth, but she better expect to receive a nasty message from you if she does the same.

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I think you should work on yourself ... your anger and self esteem a bit before trying to pursue someone romantically. This is not the first time I've seen a post like this :/ I think you're playing with Fire with a Gemini woman... she doesn't need you, she's independent, and she doesn't deal well with insecurity.. we like strong, CONFIDENT men... you will likely end up hurt.

Where is your Venus and mars at?

I don't know how bad it can be considered, but I literally said "I still haven't received an answer yet" and that's it. After a week of her not replying and waiting for a response.

My Venus is in Pisces and Mars is in Scorpio. I'm not too sure about her placements, but she is either Sag/Cap moon with Mars in Gemini and Venus in Cancer iirc.

I will check for rest of replies after several hours, I need to get some sleep as well as time to process what all of you have said.

Posted by Gem_from_Venus

Posted by TheLibraMudra
Also, it takes 10 damn seconds to say "how are ya? I've been really busy but thinking about you"

RIIIIGHT? No one asked for a novel.

OP, if you really like her, communicate. It's the one thing that all Geminis I know have in common, the need to communicate. As for that snap judgment/ego stuff I mentioned, for me, at least, it goes away in time. Geminis really suck at the beginnings of relationships and talking us through it is the only way.

click to expand

This song sounded so Gemini...



So i checked the natal chart of the main writer, and apparently... he's an Aries with the Sun/Venus and Mercury in Aries (all 3 in 11th house), though his Moon and his Ascendant are in Gemini (Gem Moons do have a tendency to intellectualize their feelings). ^^

http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Axel,_Ian

"Silent treatment and move on" Isnt that an oxymoron?

Work on your own insecurities, you don't seem ready for someone just yet.

Posted by NotSoInstant

Posted by TheGreatSearcher
Hello, whoever I am talking to. Recently, I decided to chat up a very good-looking girl, but I made a mistake on my part, because during a rather busy week, I didn't message her at all. Before that, we had an okay-ish conversation, but I was very cautious about what I said, since she is connected to a group of some very nasty women and I will never share personal information unless it's worth doing. I also made a rather impolite remark after she didn't message me for a week. Today, I finally got around to text her again, but she basically only read the messages and didn't say anything.

I believe that it was a bad mistake on my part and I'm not sure what to do. We had a reasonably good chemistry, but I basically pulled the most typical Aqua thing and disappeared for a week or so.

I'd like to know if I should attempt to continue the conversation (since holidays are around the corner, I will have a lot of spare time), or if I should give her the silent treatment as well and move on. Keep in mind, both of us are playing the same sport and will most definitely meet again during the summer or at certain events.

I can provide additional details if necessary. I understand that this post will probably come off as something written by someone who should be locked up, but I can't prevent my possessiveness and insecurity, sorry. Since I'm a very shy person, I don't know if I will ever force myself to go on a date.

TL;DR

Radio silence from a Gemini who I had good chemistry with. Only 1 friend of mine knows about this, but I don't know how many of her friends know about the conversation. I can:

A) Do the same and give up on establishing a relationship.

B) Wait for a while and dedicate more time.

C) Do something else.

Again, I'm sorry for coming off as a very bad individual. I just don't know what to do and I will never trust my family with these matters.

Don't initiate contacts for now.... When you see her next time, pretend like she never ignored your message and start a fun convo.

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I don't think it works that way.

Posted by Explicit
To be honest, I think this is a case of "oh my God, they're ignoring me now, I want them more then ever now!"

If I'm really into someone then it's not going to take 2 weeks for me to contact them.

You just want her attention again because she probably moved on.

I mean, I think you should too. If she was truly that important and interesting to you, you would have texted her way before two weeks.

In total agreement 🙂

But, seeing you have Venus in pisces I sympathize, I have this too, and Venus in pisces can be retarded sometimes 🙂

Not contacting a Gemini for 2 weeks, because you were "busy"? come on.....

and anyway, what about personal contact? how many times you met in person?

I hope its not some "online" nonsense again