Listenlearnteach
@Listenlearnteach
9 Years500+ Posts
Comments: 3 · Posts: 819 · Topics: 41
Ok gems, cancer here I have question for you guys... Long and detailed you have been forwarned
Oh to add my thoughts are this friendship has run its course and Im just not interested in being a doormat. The back and forth ups and downs are not necessary. Dont bash me because you're in turmoil. It was a constant of I'm happy she would bring every negative possibility to the table. Even though it never happened. When she was happy I encouraged her.
Mind you I'm summirozong 25 years as best as possible.
Mind you I'm summirozong 25 years as best as possible.
Hmmm that's interesting. That Gemini seems foreign to me. When it comes to friends I've never treated anyone like this one has treated you and if I do ask for opinions wouldn't dismiss yours and you'd be the first person I'd go to having such a longevity of a friendship. Accountability is something I despise and although hard to admit when I'm wrong I still take full responsibility for my words and actions.
To be honest with you... if you feel like you no longer want to continue the friendship, then, her motives behind all this immaturity should not even matter.
It is, what it is...
With that said, and only having your side to the story... sounds like a terrible lesson SHE has to learn. And, she will learn it when she is supposed to learn it. I really can't tell you why she threw away all those years with you. I'm not her.
It also sounds like there is a lesson in this for you, as well... some ppl just do things we don't like for whatever silly reason, but the reason really doesn't matter. I know it helps for closure, but show me where it is written in stone that closure is actually something we NEED. There's a giant difference between wants and needs.
If the "negative possibilities" is not what you need for a happy life... just walk away and be happy.
It is, what it is...
With that said, and only having your side to the story... sounds like a terrible lesson SHE has to learn. And, she will learn it when she is supposed to learn it. I really can't tell you why she threw away all those years with you. I'm not her.
It also sounds like there is a lesson in this for you, as well... some ppl just do things we don't like for whatever silly reason, but the reason really doesn't matter. I know it helps for closure, but show me where it is written in stone that closure is actually something we NEED. There's a giant difference between wants and needs.
If the "negative possibilities" is not what you need for a happy life... just walk away and be happy.
Quote, "Said she doesn't trust me around her friends and family"
This thread is a deception, that is stemmed from your inability to take responsibility for your actions. You have led your viewing audience to falsely believe that something is wrong with this Gemini .... when in reality, the problem is your ego, in that you've done something to make a friend of 25 years to stop trusting you.
Posted by P-AngelSee, this was my gut reaction and I decided to be nice and take it from a different angle....
Quote, "Said she doesn't trust me around her friends and family"
This thread is a deception, that is stemmed from your inability to take responsibility for your actions. You have led your viewing audience to falsely believe that something is wrong with this Gemini .... when in reality, the problem is your ego, in that you've done something to make a friend of 25 years to stop trusting you.
Thanks, P-Angel, for saying what I couldn't say due to my second guessing...
< Mars in Gemini
Hi Missy, it's always nice when you pop in.
One thing I can always count on with Gems ...... they aren't going to be tricked by manipulators, lol
I kind of feel sorry for the Gem in this scenario, actually ...... she has experienced something so awful with a friend of 25 years, that she has to cut her loose.
so, whatever it was this friend did to her must have been really terrible.
Its always 3 sides to a story. Why would someone want stop bringing u around family after 25 years.? On another note i was trying to befriend a gemini we were dating. She lied about being friends vs wanting more. She never told her gf now ex about me. I put her in friendzone she would always complain about cancers but never own up to her responsibility of what she did etc. Itd a long story but she deleted me off fb blocked me etc all because i didnt want to be with her she said i play games and that she wouldnt didnt get along with cancers she was one sided. I wanted to remain friends but it was too much for her etc...only thing i didnt like was her flaky side and im sure she told everyone it was me when on reality it was her and she didnt like the truth.
Posted by Elle77She does as well. Well, to some degree. She will take responsibility for some of her words and actions verbally there is just a long time in between that actually happening. Other times she won't acknowledge it and be super nice and skate over the real issues. Sweep it under the rug so to speak.
Hmmm that's interesting. That Gemini seems foreign to me. When it comes to friends I've never treated anyone like this one has treated you and if I do ask for opinions wouldn't dismiss yours and you'd be the first person I'd go to having such a longevity of a friendship. Accountability is something I despise and although hard to admit when I'm wrong I still take full responsibility for my words and actions.
Posted by misslissaYou mentioned needing closure. That caught my attention. Many times I would explain that to her that closure is not always a need. My way of putting it was some experiences are for reflection.
To be honest with you... if you feel like you no longer want to continue the friendship, then, her motives behind all this immaturity should not even matter.
It is, what it is...
With that said, and only having your side to the story... sounds like a terrible lesson SHE has to learn. And, she will learn it when she is supposed to learn it. I really can't tell you why she threw away all those years with you. I'm not her.
It also sounds like there is a lesson in this for you, as well... some ppl just do things we don't like for whatever silly reason, but the reason really doesn't matter. I know it helps for closure, but show me where it is written in stone that closure is actually something we NEED. There's a giant difference between wants and needs.
If the "negative possibilities" is not what you need for a happy life... just walk away and be happy.
I agree I have learned many lessons through our friendship and even through its end. I also believe that she has as well by way of her calling to apologize for the I dont trust you around my friends and family statement. That was said during a time of extreme emotional difficulty for her. She was lashing out and sometimes some people do that with the ones they are closest to. I get that. I dont need that though. I'm used to giving her time and she comes around but it comes off as phony after a while.
I have had my guards up against all gems because of this ones behavior and I don't like that. Posting here is working through that I guess.
Posted by P-AngelIdk possibly, but in my mind she never really has and I was naive to it. Just took a long time to learn the lesson.
Quote, "Said she doesn't trust me around her friends and family"
This thread is a deception, that is stemmed from your inability to take responsibility for your actions. You have led your viewing audience to falsely believe that something is wrong with this Gemini .... when in reality, the problem is your ego, in that you've done something to make a friend of 25 years to stop trusting you.
Posted by misslissaAlrighty thenPosted by P-AngelSee, this was my gut reaction and I decided to be nice and take it from a different angle....
Quote, "Said she doesn't trust me around her friends and family"
This thread is a deception, that is stemmed from your inability to take responsibility for your actions. You have led your viewing audience to falsely believe that something is wrong with this Gemini .... when in reality, the problem is your ego, in that you've done something to make a friend of 25 years to stop trusting you.
Thanks, P-Angel, for saying what I couldn't say due to my second guessing...click to expand
Posted by P-AngelAlrighty then
I kind of feel sorry for the Gem in this scenario, actually ...... she has experienced something so awful with a friend of 25 years, that she has to cut her loose.
so, whatever it was this friend did to her must have been really terrible.
Posted by lovely77Yeah sounds so similar. I haven't heard what she may or may not have said about our past friendship but there have been a few cases where she would tell me something and the other person would tell a totally different story. Its like the 3 people at the table having lunch are talking completely different languages. The incident I am speaking of was with a mutual friend of ours. They had a problem with each other. I told them y'all talk it out and yeah that never happened. ³
Its always 3 sides to a story. Why would someone want stop bringing u around family after 25 years.? On another note i was trying to befriend a gemini we were dating. She lied about being friends vs wanting more. She never told her gf now ex about me. I put her in friendzone she would always complain about cancers but never own up to her responsibility of what she did etc. Itd a long story but she deleted me off fb blocked me etc all because i didnt want to be with her she said i play games and that she wouldnt didnt get along with cancers she was one sided. I wanted to remain friends but it was too much for her etc...only thing i didnt like was her flaky side and im sure she told everyone it was me when on reality it was her and she didnt like the truth.
Posted by littlemegabyteAnd what situation are you referring to when you say the above?
I don't view you as being a doormat in the situation.
didn't you just say that this information was greatly slanted one way?
lol
:::: shakes head ::::
Posted by Listenlearnteach
...... there have been a few cases where she would tell me something and the other person would tell a totally different story.
The incident I am speaking of was with a mutual friend of ours. They had a problem with each other. I told them y'all talk it out and yeah that never happened.
Oh, I see what's happening here. When I read the OP, I sensed that this here Cancer was upset because the friend has more than one confidante. And now the above is said.
This Gem listened to one of her other friends instead of you, and you can't handle it.
So, the problem here is that you must have had some kind of crabby-hissy fit because the Gem has friends besides you and it's this spectacle you made of yourself, for her reasoning for stopping to trust you.
I'm right, aren't I?
It was just a passing thought when I read the Opening Post ... but, now that you've addressed your jealousy again ... I'm pretty certain that this you're just having a tantrum because your ego cannot handle that the Gemini has a friend she confides in besides you.
Wrong. The Gemini is the one to be that way. Not wanting me to have other friends. The reason she couldn't resolve things with our mutual friend is because she passed away before they could resolve.
Posted by littlemegabyteYes we would try. Sometimes we could get to a resolve other times she would yell and hang up, storm out, speed off, what have you. After the dust settled we could speak.
I think you're leaving out important information. Your version seems very emotional and one sided. I read through all of it and bam, all of a sudden "she doesn't trust me with her friends and family" What? Why?
One of my best friends is a cancer sun, cancer moon, cancer Mercury. I am a Gemini sun, mercury, and Venus. The friendship is difficult at times because I can think everything is going fine, then all of a sudden, someone tells me he's angry at me for something that I said 3 months ago. He never brings the issue to me, he's passive aggressive and communication doesn't seem like a strong point for cancers. They like to take their own version of things and retreat and hide and be angry. It's really frustrating. In any of these 25 years, have you tried to sit down and have a conversation with her about any of these issues? I don't view you as being a doormat in the situation.
Posted by littlemegabyteReason why she said the lack of trust towards me statement was after extreme health issues. I dont think its a horrible thing that we no longer speak. We have both learned a lot from one another. Good and bad. I think I posted somewhere here before Im just curious on you alls thoughts on the matter.Posted by P-AngelShe left out information regarding the details WHY the Gemini all of a sudden said she was untrustworthy around her friends and family. She victimized herself. She is not a doormat. I would like to hear the other lady's side. That is all.Posted by littlemegabyteAnd what situation are you referring to when you say the above?
I don't view you as being a doormat in the situation.
didn't you just say that this information was greatly slanted one way?
lol
:::: shakes head ::::click to expand
All in all thank you
Posted by ListenlearnteachPosted by littlemegabyteReason why she said the lack of trust towards me statement was after extreme health issues. I dont think its a horrible thing that we no longer speak. We have both learned a lot from one another. Good and bad. I think I posted somewhere here before Im just curious on you alls thoughts on the matter.Posted by P-AngelShe left out information regarding the details WHY the Gemini all of a sudden said she was untrustworthy around her friends and family. She victimized herself. She is not a doormat. I would like to hear the other lady's side. That is all.Posted by littlemegabyteAnd what situation are you referring to when you say the above?
I don't view you as being a doormat in the situation.
didn't you just say that this information was greatly slanted one way?
lol
:::: shakes head ::::
All in all thank youclick to expand
Posted by ListenlearnteachBut you still haven't answered the question at all... I'm sure the reason she cannot trust you after 25yrs has nothing to do with her health issues...Posted by littlemegabyteReason why she said the lack of trust towards me statement was after extreme health issues. I dont think its a horrible thing that we no longer speak. We have both learned a lot from one another. Good and bad. I think I posted somewhere here before Im just curious on you alls thoughts on the matter.Posted by P-AngelShe left out information regarding the details WHY the Gemini all of a sudden said she was untrustworthy around her friends and family. She victimized herself. She is not a doormat. I would like to hear the other lady's side. That is all.Posted by littlemegabyteAnd what situation are you referring to when you say the above?
I don't view you as being a doormat in the situation.
didn't you just say that this information was greatly slanted one way?
lol
:::: shakes head ::::
All in all thank youclick to expand
So, lets address the elephant in the "room".
WHY doesn't she trust you anymore, after 25 yrs of friendship—
I dont think she ever really did.
Posted by misslissaI dont think she ever really did. And in fact her health issues are a major part of it.Posted by ListenlearnteachBut you still haven't answered the question at all... I'm sure the reason she cannot trust you after 25yrs has nothing to do with her health issues...Posted by littlemegabyteReason why she said the lack of trust towards me statement was after extreme health issues. I dont think its a horrible thing that we no longer speak. We have both learned a lot from one another. Good and bad. I think I posted somewhere here before Im just curious on you alls thoughts on the matter.Posted by P-AngelShe left out information regarding the details WHY the Gemini all of a sudden said she was untrustworthy around her friends and family. She victimized herself. She is not a doormat. I would like to hear the other lady's side. That is all.Posted by littlemegabyteAnd what situation are you referring to when you say the above?
I don't view you as being a doormat in the situation.
didn't you just say that this information was greatly slanted one way?
lol
:::: shakes head ::::
All in all thank you
So, lets address the elephant in the "room".
WHY doesn't she trust you anymore, after 25 yrs of friendship—click to expand
That makes perfect sense to me, meaning there should of been something. This situation with this person didn't go that way. Like I said her health issues are a major part or rather the reason why I guess. Head scratcher for me as well. Hence the reason I decided to make a thread and get other gems perspective.
Its been insightful, the thread that is.
Its been insightful, the thread that is.
No it doesn't...
Um, you are a very creative person with horrible execution...
And, well, let's just sound it out... your skills are lacking. Beating around the Bush should be unnoticeable. Manipulation should be SO subtle most cannot see it with the naked eye...
🙂
Good luck to you. Karma is a real thing.
Um, you are a very creative person with horrible execution...
And, well, let's just sound it out... your skills are lacking. Beating around the Bush should be unnoticeable. Manipulation should be SO subtle most cannot see it with the naked eye...
🙂
Good luck to you. Karma is a real thing.
Posted by littlemegabyteAgain this has been insightful. Thank you for your input.Posted by ListenlearnteachDoes she possibly have mental illness?? It just doesn't seem to add up.
That makes perfect sense to me, meaning there should of been something. This situation with this person didn't go that way. Like I said her health issues are a major part or rather the reason why I guess. Head scratcher for me as well. Hence the reason I decided to make a thread and get other gems perspective.
Its been insightful, the thread that is.click to expand
Posted by misslissaIndeed. Thank you for your input.
No it doesn't...
Um, you are a very creative person with horrible execution...
And, well, let's just sound it out... your skills are lacking. Beating around the Bush should be unnoticeable. Manipulation should be SO subtle most cannot see it with the naked eye...
🙂
Good luck to you. Karma is a real thing.
Posted by littlemegabyteActually, she could have been doing things for years to make her feel she isn't trustworthy and then she finally hit the point that she feels it's best to let go.
We mean that there had to have been something leading up to the point of her claiming that you were untrustworthy. We don't exactly wake up one morning and decide that someone we've known and been friends with for many many years is unworthy of trust?? 😕
I had a gf of 26yrs, that in one night, literally, ruined our friendship to the point I couldn't return b/c I would never EVER trust her again.. Sure as hell not around my friends or family!! She seemed like a snake in the grass out of nowhere but when I sat back, there were signs, I just didn't pay attention b/c I was so used to her and her behavior.
I still miss and love her, but I know I can't go back after that..
It's unfortunate you're not able to really state what maybe her issues were with you? You seem to have had a lot of issues with her, so it's probably for the best that it was ended. Also, how is she? By your description she sounds quite young, I can't imagine reacting the way she is at this point in my life. Shit just can't get me going that easily or for me to make myself look like a fool.
You are continuously avoiding answering the questions, and keep saying, "thanks for the insight"
It looks like a deception, and you just ignore that. Which means, you probably are being deceptive.
Honest people represent an honest person.
We all know it takes two to tango ..... so, you attempting to tell us that you've been this amazing friend who got shunned for no reason is going to fall on deaf ears probably every time.
If you truly wanted help ... then you would have been honest.
You get what you put out ...... considering you were dumped after 25 years, it's an easy leap to make the assumption that she finally realized you aren't an honest person.
Posted by P-AngelI have continuously answer the question in a direct way. I'm only willing to put out as much as I have about her. That's not my place. I haven't said I have been this amazing friend and she wasnt. We were friends. I simply posted to gain other perspectives in the matter.
You are continuously avoiding answering the questions, and keep saying, "thanks for the insight"
It looks like a deception, and you just ignore that. Which means, you probably are being deceptive.
Honest people represent an honest person.
We all know it takes two to tango ..... so, you attempting to tell us that you've been this amazing friend who got shunned for no reason is going to fall on deaf ears probably every time.
If you truly wanted help ... then you would have been honest.
You get what you put out ...... considering you were dumped after 25 years, it's an easy leap to make the assumption that she finally realized you aren't an honest person.
Ultimately, I see where all gems aren't the same. That is helpful for me. I've learned the the more watery gems are less aggressive and IMO see clearer than the fiery gems. IMO the firery gems go to the extremes real quick. 0-100 real quick. I prefer a little more rational thinking in people I consider friends.
Again thank you all for your perspectives.
Posted by WateryGemThere are similarities in your exp that I can relate to. I saw the signs, ignored them, told myself that's just how she is. I understand you were making the comparison as if I was like that person but those are the things I can relate to I have seen with her.Posted by littlemegabyteActually, she could have been doing things for years to make her feel she isn't trustworthy and then she finally hit the point that she feels it's best to let go.
We mean that there had to have been something leading up to the point of her claiming that you were untrustworthy. We don't exactly wake up one morning and decide that someone we've known and been friends with for many many years is unworthy of trust?? 😕
I had a gf of 26yrs, that in one night, literally, ruined our friendship to the point I couldn't return b/c I would never EVER trust her again.. Sure as hell not around my friends or family!! She seemed like a snake in the grass out of nowhere but when I sat back, there were signs, I just didn't pay attention b/c I was so used to her and her behavior.
I still miss and love her, but I know I can't go back after that..
It's unfortunate you're not able to really state what maybe her issues were with you? You seem to have had a lot of issues with her, so it's probably for the best that it was ended. Also, how is she? By your description she sounds quite young, I can't imagine reacting the way she is at this point in my life. Shit just can't get me going that easily or for me to make myself look like a fool.click to expand
She is late 30s and I just think as well as people I know thought it was way to long to be so immature.
It is just time to move on is the conclusion I have come to and I'm happier with that.
Thank you for your insight
Posted by ListenlearnteachYeah I still love her miss her at times but go back after that I couldn't do. Again, I can relate.Posted by WateryGemThere are similarities in your exp that I can relate to. I saw the signs, ignored them, told myself that's just how she is. I understand you were making the comparison as if I was like that person but those are the things I can relate to I have seen with her.Posted by littlemegabyteActually, she could have been doing things for years to make her feel she isn't trustworthy and then she finally hit the point that she feels it's best to let go.
We mean that there had to have been something leading up to the point of her claiming that you were untrustworthy. We don't exactly wake up one morning and decide that someone we've known and been friends with for many many years is unworthy of trust?? 😕
I had a gf of 26yrs, that in one night, literally, ruined our friendship to the point I couldn't return b/c I would never EVER trust her again.. Sure as hell not around my friends or family!! She seemed like a snake in the grass out of nowhere but when I sat back, there were signs, I just didn't pay attention b/c I was so used to her and her behavior.
I still miss and love her, but I know I can't go back after that..
It's unfortunate you're not able to really state what maybe her issues were with you? You seem to have had a lot of issues with her, so it's probably for the best that it was ended. Also, how is she? By your description she sounds quite young, I can't imagine reacting the way she is at this point in my life. Shit just can't get me going that easily or for me to make myself look like a fool.
She is late 30s and I just think as well as people I know thought it was way to long to be so immature.
It is just time to move on is the conclusion I have come to and I'm happier with that.
Thank you for your insightclick to expand
Also hearing your story helps too Thanks Š
nd like a lousy friend .......
Posted by ListenlearnteachIn the first quote, your words describe yourself as being resentful towards her. A "friend" who really cared would say something like - she was really upset and couldn't find the answer. You word it to make it sound accusing, " having a conniption", "whatever issue" By using those phrases, you suggest that your outlook upon her intentions are with her being faulty. A REAL friend wouldn't have this kind of disparaging view of her.
her calling me all times of the night when she was having a conniption or looking for an answer to whatever issue she was going through.
The problem for me was that she would ask many people without my knowledge
In my mind she was always looking for someone to side with her even if she was wrong.
From how she would blow up and be flippant in romantic relationships
The problem with you, as you state it ....... "she would ask many people without your knowledge" ... so again, the logical assumption to your motivation is that you're jealous that she has someone else as a confidante.
And the next two sentences are the same as the first. The tone in your wording suggests that you found her intentions at fault.
And a friend wouldn't treat her that way.
Posted by ListenlearnteachI don't even want to grasp what you meant by the first quoted partial sentence above .... because there is no justification for you saying that, while calling yourself a friend to her.
I was there for her admittantly forcefully
thinking everyone was her friend at work or social situations and being miss lead and later hurt
This Gemini was going through an extremely turbulant time in her life, stronger than ever before.
Later she called and apologized ..... as she tried to reach me to no avail.
click to expand
You even go so far as to say she is at fault in her life because she wants to befriend her co-workers.
control freak much ? .... you seriously made the insinuation that she's fucked up for wanting to be friends with other people?
Furthermore, we find in the next partial sentence that she was going through the worst time of her life, and you, this awesome friend you think you are ... are turning on her while she goes through this extreme turbulence. Our proof to that?
The last quoted partial sentence in where you reveal to us that she has apologized and reached out to you .......... to no avail. That means you are the one who turned on the friendship.
Posted by ListenlearnteachLmao.... No, you did not.Posted by P-AngelI have continuously answer the question in a direct way. I'm only willing to put out as much as I have about her. That's not my place. I haven't said I have been this amazing friend and she wasnt. We were friends. I simply posted to gain other perspectives in the matter.
You are continuously avoiding answering the questions, and keep saying, "thanks for the insight"
It looks like a deception, and you just ignore that. Which means, you probably are being deceptive.
Honest people represent an honest person.
We all know it takes two to tango ..... so, you attempting to tell us that you've been this amazing friend who got shunned for no reason is going to fall on deaf ears probably every time.
If you truly wanted help ... then you would have been honest.
You get what you put out ...... considering you were dumped after 25 years, it's an easy leap to make the assumption that she finally realized you aren't an honest person.
Ultimately, I see where all gems aren't the same. That is helpful for me. I've learned the the more watery gems are less aggressive and IMO see clearer than the fiery gems. IMO the firery gems go to the extremes real quick. 0-100 real quick. I prefer a little more rational thinking in people I consider friends.
Again thank you all for your perspectives.click to expand
And, I'm as watery as a watery gem can get. Lol!
Done.
Posted by P-Angel
tbh, you sound like a lousy friend .......
Posted by ListenlearnteachIn the first quote, your words describe yourself as being resentful towards her. A "friend" who really cared would say something like - she was really upset and couldn't find the answer. You word it to make it sound accusing, " having a conniption", "whatever issue" By using those phrases, you suggest that your outlook upon her intentions are with her being faulty. A REAL friend wouldn't have this kind of disparaging view of her.
her calling me all times of the night when she was having a conniption or looking for an answer to whatever issue she was going through.
The problem for me was that she would ask many people without my knowledge
In my mind she was always looking for someone to side with her even if she was wrong.
From how she would blow up and be flippant in romantic relationships
The problem with you, as you state it ....... "she would ask many people without your knowledge" ... so again, the logical assumption to your motivation is that you're jealous that she has someone else as a confidante.
And the next two sentences are the same as the first. The tone in your wording suggests that you found her intentions at fault.
And a friend wouldn't treat her that way.
Posted by ListenlearnteachI don't even want to grasp what you meant by the first quoted partial sentence above .... because there is no justification for you saying that, while calling yourself a friend to her.
I was there for her admittantly forcefully
thinking everyone was her friend at work or social situations and being miss lead and later hurt
This Gemini was going through an extremely turbulant time in her life, stronger than ever before.
Later she called and apologized ..... as she tried to reach me to no avail.
click to expand
You even go so far as to say she is at fault in her life because she wants to befriend her co-workers.
control freak much ? .... you seriously made the insinuation that she's fucked up for wanting to be friends with other people?
Furthermore, we find in the next partial sentence that she was going through the worst time of her life, and you, this awesome friend you think you are ... are turning on her while she goes through this extreme turbulence. Our proof to that?
The last quoted partial sentence in where you reveal to us that she has apologized and reached out to you .......... to no avail. That means you are the one who turned on the f
Posted by P-Angel
tbh, you sound like a lousy friend .......
Posted by ListenlearnteachIn the first quote, your words describe yourself as being resentful towards her. A "friend" who really cared would say something like - she was really upset and couldn't find the answer. You word it to make it sound accusing
her calling me all times of the night when she was having a conniption or looking for an answer to whatever issue she was going through.
The problem for me was that she would ask many people without my knowledge
In my mind she was always looking for someone to side with her even if she was wrong.
From how she would blow up and be flippant in romantic relationships
click to expand
A lot of your assumptions are incorrect. She called and apologized and after that I called her and she called me to no avail. Meaning we kept missing each other.
I had no problem with her asking others the issue was everyone saying the same thing and she would continuously look for someone to side with her. I was saying without my knowledge because its not like I just said whatever she would say everyone else would say. I wouldn't even know she asked others or let alone know some of these other people on a personal level.
She did in fact have a conniption these were her words.
Its ok if you don't understand all of it. I thank you for your input with the limited info you had to give an opinion.
I have to say though this is very interesting she calls herself a control freak all the time unapologetically. Soo
Please continue.
This is unraveling more for me than I expected. All I can say is Ty for your input
Posted by misslissaPosted by ListenlearnteachPosted by P-AngelI have continuously answer the question in a direct way. I'm only willing to put out as much as I have about her. That's not my place. I haven't said I have been this amazing friend and she wasnt. We were friends. I simply posted to gain other perspectives in the matter.
You are continuously avoiding answering the questions, and keep saying, "thanks for the insight"
It looks like a deception, and you just ignore that. Which means, you probably are being deceptive.
Honest people represent an honest person.
We all know it takes two to tango ..... so, you attempting to tell us that you've been this amazing friend who got shunned for no reason is going to fall on deaf ears probably every time.
If you truly wanted help ... then you would have been honest.
You get what you put out ...... considering you were dumped after 25 years, it's an easy leap to make the assumption that she finally realized you aren't an honest person.click to expand
Ultimately, I see where all gems aren't the same. That is helpful for me. I've learned the the more watery gems are less aggressive and IMO see clearer than the fiery gems. IMO the firery gems go to the extremes real quick. 0-100 real quick. I prefer a little more rational thinking in people I consider f
You originally said a rational things
Something along the lines you both have learned something from this experience.
The zoom to 100 came later. That is not what I consider real quick. A little cynical but its all good.
Thanks
Posted by ListenlearnteachPosted by P-Angel
tbh, you sound like a lousy friend .......
Posted by ListenlearnteachIn the first quote, your words describe yourself as being resentful towards her. A "friend" who really cared would say something like - she was really upset and couldn't find the answer. You word it to make it sound accusing, " having a conniption", "whatever issue" By using those phrases, you suggest that your outlook upon her intentions are with her being faulty. A REAL friend wouldn't have this kind of disparaging view of her.
her calling me all times of the night when she was having a conniption or looking for an answer to whatever issue she was going through.
The problem for me was that she would ask many people without my knowledge
In my mind she was always looking for someone to side with her even if she was wrong.
From how she would blow up and be flippant in romantic relationships
The problem with you, as you state it ....... "she would ask many people without your knowledge" ... so again, the logical assumption to your motivation is that you're jealous that she has someone else as a confidante.
And the next two sentences are the same as the first. The tone in your wording suggests that you found her intentions at fault.
And a friend wouldn't treat her that way.
Posted by ListenlearnteachI don't even want to grasp what you meant by the first quoted partial sentence above .... because there is no justification for you saying that, while calling yourself a friend to her.
I was there for her admittantly forcefully
thinking everyone was her friend at work or social situations and being miss lead and later hurt
This Gemini was going through an extremely turbulant time in her life, stronger than ever before.
Later she called and apologized ..... as she tried to reach me to no avail.
click to expand
You even go so far as to say she is at fault in her life because she wants to befriend her co-workers.
control freak much ? .... you seriously made the insinuation that she's fucked up for wanting to be friends with other people?
Furthermore, we find in the next partial sentence that she was going through the worst time of her life, and you, this awesome friend you think you are ... are turning on her while she goes through this extreme turbulence. Our proof to that?
The last quoted partial sentence in where you reveal to us that she has
Posted by ListenlearnteachPosted by P-Angel
tbh, you sound like a lousy friend .......
Posted by ListenlearnteachIn the first quote, your words describe yourself as being resentful towards her. A "friend" who really cared would say something like - she was really upset and couldn't find the answer. You word it to make it sound accusing, " having a conniption", "whatever issue" By using those phrases, you suggest that your outlook upon her intentions are with her being faulty. A REAL friend wouldn't have this kind of disparaging view of her.
her calling me all times of the night when she was having a conniption or looking for an answer to whatever issue she was going through.
The problem for me was that she would ask many people without my knowledge
In my mind she was always looking for someone to side with her even if she was wrong.
From how she would blow up and be flippant in romantic relationships
click to expand
The problem with you, as you state it ....... "she would ask many people without your knowledge" ... so again, the logical assumption to your motivation is that you're jealous that she has someone else as a confidante.
And the next two sentences are the same as the first. The tone in your wording suggests that you found her intentions at fault.
And a friend wouldn't treat her that way.
Posted by Listenlearnteach
I was there for her admittantly forcefully
thinking everyone was her friend at work or social situations and being miss lead and later hurt
This Gemini was going through an extremely turbulant time in her life, stronger than ever before.
Oh and being there for her forciably was beneficial for her at that point. I could go into more detail about this statement but I'd rather not. Its again to much of her story to tell.
@p-angel are you a Gemini sun sign?
Posted by ListenlearnteachNo, P is Pisces Sun, Cancer Moon.
@p-angel are you a Gemini sun sign?
She sounds manipulative and immature. I would send her a breakup letter.
Posted by WateryGemOh okPosted by ListenlearnteachNo, P is Pisces Sun, Cancer Moon.
@p-angel are you a Gemini sun sign?click to expand
Posted by ashley1734Thank you for your input. That sounds like a good idea. Tried that before - text not letter, because I could rarely finish a complete sentance before she would do her usual blow up, hang up, and apologize later).
She sounds manipulative and immature. I would send her a breakup letter.
I think it'll be ok though. Lessons to learn in life sometimes take going though experiences.
Thank you
^^^ wow this right here.
Posted by Arielle83Just so spot on. Nail on the head. Case closed. Thanks ŠPosted by ListenlearnteachSame shit you're dealing with.
^^^ wow this right here.
Cancer's aren't relationship counsellors. Everyone wants to blab their drama and cuz we listen (at first), thinking ppl have the ability to figure out themselves and move on with life. However, some ppl just want to get the advice and not use it. So no they aren't asking for advice, they are asking for attention to their drama. Look at me! Look at me! Listen to me!
When you need advice back they aren't there or they shrug it off cuz it has to do with them.
I don't know if this is a sign thing or a "self involved" individual type of thing.
Calling u a bad friend and ppl saying you're jealous she went to other ppl for advice is ridiculous!
I think you'd rather she just went to them for advice and let you live your life.
25 years means there was a lot of good as well, but you can't hold onto all memories.
click to expand
Posted by Arielle83Damn I'm so glad I'm an "evolved" Gemini (I like to think). That sounds toxic and exhausting. My Aries girlfriend is a bit like that (Moon in Cancer). Very emotional.
I had a Gemini friend call me at all times of the night with her man problems.
She would wake me up even though I had work at 7am or I had an exam. It didn't matter her problems were more important.
She also annoyed other ppl. We all eventually told her we don't care. Just because she's a hot emotional mess in relationships doesn't mean we need to hear it at 4am.
Bad friend or not. I'm not her unpaid relationship counsellor. Cancer chicks have money to make so smarten up before you waste our time.
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First of all I do miss our conversations and the light hearted way we just connected. Mind you, this friendship has been forever to approximate over 25 years.
Throughout our friendship I have been there for her emotionally. Example: her calling me all times of the night when she was having a conniption or looking for an answer to whatever issue she was going through. Now I was not the only person she would confide in or ask advice. The problem for me was that she would ask many people without my knowledge (no problem) and when I would say the same thing everyone else said she would give me the "wow that's what everyone else said". Still trying to justify her actions. Just no accountability.
In my mind she was always looking for someone to side with her even if she was wrong. From how she would blow up and be flippant in romantic relationships all the way to thinking everyone was her friend at work or social situations and being miss lead and later hurt.
I dont use the term friend loosely. I am going to tell my friends my opinon when asked or if I see the path they are taking is going to hurt the person(my friend) that I have grown to know. I respect the same in return.
This Gemini was going through an extremely turbulant time in her life, stronger than ever before. Health related. I was there for her admittantly forcefully. After she cried and confided in me, she is a social butterfly but private at the same time, she completely threw me away. Said she doesn't trust me around her friends and family. That was heavy for me.
Later she called and apologized. I made attempts to call her after as well as she tried to reach me to no avail.
She is very aggressive and seems blinded when she blows up as well as manipulative. Sweet as pie on the outside but inside not so much.
Your thoughts?