@pazosx
10 Years
Leo father problem
Understanding Leo Fathers and How to Respond to Control
Leo fathers often seek control and validation, which can lead to conflicts. Approaching with calmness and setting boundaries can reduce tension. Responding assertively without escalation may help you maintain your dignity. Remember, using harsh words or tactics to upset him might escalate the conflict rather than resolve it.
Idk the whole story but I guess keep ignoring him. If in a situation where you can't, just say "blah blah blah" and keep going. I personally wouldn't recommend saying bad things to him, but that's up to you I suppose. If he flares up at you just tell him whenever he's ready to stop being a tyrant then maybe you will acknowledge his existence. Are you still living with him? You're 19 now, right? Consider moving. Telling you what to wear and what to eat at 19 yrs old is a bit alarming… Yeah just get out.
Posted by AriElla7
I personally wouldn't recommend saying bad things to him, but that's up to you I suppose.
May I ask why not?
Move out. You grown
Posted by sunkisses26
I first thought..you don't like your a leo dad and your a saggie but I suppose it make sense...your a saggie and you guys LOVE freedom...FREEDOM to dress how you want.... do what you want ....feel how you want even from a fairly early age and leo's like to be the king of the castle, the boss! in regards to your question ...maybe just ignore him...hurt his pride perhaps...but I suggest moving out as soon as you have the funds...your independent and that won't change its part of your personality
Yeah exactly! I can't move out unfortunately I will have to deal with him for another 3 years or so #smh
Thanks for your reply.
I would think the best comeback would to be as successful and positive as possible, but by following your own terms and goals. Use that anger as fuel to become great.
Posted by AriElla7
I personally wouldn't recommend saying bad things to him, but that's up to you I suppose.May I ask why not?
click to expand
Reason 1: he is your parent
Reason 2: you are under his roof
Reason 3: because of 1&2 I wouldn't give that kind of advice and will just say your actions rest on you in that dept
There's a shift here with you now being a legal adult and living in a parent/child dynamic. Heads are going to butt regardless and the relationship has changed to two adults. The only way he can begin adjusting more to this new dynamic for you is if you move.
Posted by AriElla7
I personally wouldn't recommend saying bad things to him, but that's up to you I suppose.May I ask why not?
Reason 1: he is your parent
Reason 2: you are under his roof
Reason 3: because of 1&2 I wouldn't give that kind of advice and will just say your actions rest on you in that deptThere's a shift here with you now being a legal adult and living in a parent/child dynamic. Heads are going to butt regardless and the relationship has changed to two adults. The only way he can begin adjusting more to this new dynamic for you is if you move.
click to expand
You're right, maybe I should remain respectful.
I'd love to move out but I'm asian, my parents never allowed any of us (me and my siblings) to live outside our house.
Posted by AriElla7
I personally wouldn't recommend saying bad things to him, but that's up to you I suppose.May I ask why not?
Reason 1: he is your parent
Reason 2: you are under his roof
Reason 3: because of 1&2 I wouldn't give that kind of advice and will just say your actions rest on you in that deptThere's a shift here with you now being a legal adult and living in a parent/child dynamic. Heads are going to butt regardless and the relationship has changed to two adults. The only way he can begin adjusting more to this new dynamic for you is if you move.
You're right, maybe I should remain respectful.
I'd love to move out but I'm asian, my parents never allowed any of us (me and my siblings) to live outside our house.click to expand
That might change a few things. I'm not too keen on cultural household differences with you telling me you're asian. My cousin is a sag though, and he's very much a free bird. Rebel lol. He has a sag father though.
heh, wow
Well, you can mock his manhood. That seems to bring them down a notch or two.
It only works if they are overly chauvinistic regarding women, however.
Revenge is never a good thing. If he's a real problem, and if he really is toxic, then stop speaking to him and slowly pull away. I have a Sag Sun/Leo Moon sign father, and I haven't spoken to him in 12 years. There are other issues at play in my situation (he's a clinical Narcissist and incredibly emotionally abusive), but one thing I've learned from the experience is that while you can't choose your family, you can choose how you let them treat you. Sadly, I had to remove the problem from my life first, then begin a slow and steady process of healing.
I'm not advocating a complete shut-off, I'm just saying that trying to hurt him or piss him off is not good for you or your karmic growth, and at the end of the day, that really is all that matters. Higher roads in all things.
Why can't you move out for 3 years? If you're doing college or something just transfer to a college farther away and live on campus. You can probably make it without your parents help.
I wouldn't start talking back unless you want your time living there to get even worse. Also, even if he hasn't physically harmed you yet, you could be in for a beating if you piss him off enough.
Posted by JohnnyRed007
My old man is a Leo similar to your dad . My old man for the first 20 years of my life was a huge emotional abuser.Turns out he was just clueless on how to be a father, including my Sagittarius mother who was equally clueless. I'm a Leo too and growing up there was a lot of fire burning everyone it sacked.
Are you the first born?
No, I'm the second.
I can relate to that, except my mum is a cancer.. she knows he is wrong but prefers to stay silent bc he would never listen + it'd only cause more problems lol
Posted by 000sillylion000
Revenge is never a good thing. If he's a real problem, and if he really is toxic, then stop speaking to him and slowly pull away. I have a Sag Sun/Leo Moon sign father, and I haven't spoken to him in 12 years. There are other issues at play in my situation (he's a clinical Narcissist and incredibly emotionally abusive), but one thing I've learned from the experience is that while you can't choose your family, you can choose how you let them treat you. Sadly, I had to remove the problem from my life first, then begin a slow and steady process of healing.I'm not advocating a complete shut-off, I'm just saying that trying to hurt him or piss him off is not good for you or your karmic growth, and at the end of the day, that really is all that matters. Higher roads in all things.
Loved reading your point of view.
I've ignored him for 4+ months while still living in the same house and it was good, I felt comfortable.
I will consider drawing some lines on how he treats me.
thank you
Yea. I'm a sag, my dads a cheap Leo, but he also started from nithing, worked his way up the ladder... he expects the same from me.
Once I proved I could do it, he helped more and was a better father. He wants me to stand up and take care of myself. I'm sure yours does too.
Posted by Scenic
Why can't you move out for 3 years? If you're doing college or something just transfer to a college farther away and live on campus. You can probably make it without your parents help.I wouldn't start talking back unless you want your time living there to get even worse. Also, even if he hasn't physically harmed you yet, you could be in for a beating if you piss him off enough.
Because hopefully after three years I will be studying for my masters abroad.
yeah i wouldn't doubt it
Posted by Mohini
Yea. I'm a sag, my dads a cheap Leo, but he also started from nithing, worked his way up the ladder... he expects the same from me.Once I proved I could do it, he helped more and was a better father. He wants me to stand up and take care of myself. I'm sure yours does too.
I wish, he is cheap to the point where my mother pays for his own food, clothes and car.
I have big goals and dreams. but he is always standing in my way making it much more harder than it is to achieve them.
I doubt he is that wise :p
Your mother pays for her own food, clothes and car.
I'm confused... you mean he makes her work for her
own money for these things because otherwise, she
be naked, hungry and not mobile?
Posted by DMV
Move out. You grown
Exactly Op. Move the F out.
I grew up with a verbally abusive, controlling ass Aquarius father.
It was unbearable living under his roof. So I made a plan for myself.
I got a job when I was 16 and saved. When I was 18 I moved out. It was hard. I rented a shared room at first. I worked long hours and went to school at the same time. My education took longer to complete.
But my life was mine. Nothing compares to freedom.
Posted by Mohini
Yea. I'm a sag, my dads a cheap Leo, but he also started from nithing, worked his way up the ladder... he expects the same from me.Once I proved I could do it, he helped more and was a better father. He wants me to stand up and take care of myself. I'm sure yours does too.
I wish, he is cheap to the point where my mother pays for his own food, clothes and car.
I have big goals and dreams. but he is always standing in my way making it much more harder than it is to achieve them.
I doubt he is that wise :pclick to expand
Sounds like you're just like your father.
What if, you did move out, cause you're grown, and you distanced yourself? That handles a lot of it but you have to make that move yourself.
Do you have a job?
How old are you?
That's an easy task.
Tell him everyday how he failed as a father.
Nothings stings worse then failure.
Posted by Mohini
Yea. I'm a sag, my dads a cheap Leo, but he also started from nithing, worked his way up the ladder... he expects the same from me.Once I proved I could do it, he helped more and was a better father. He wants me to stand up and take care of myself. I'm sure yours does too.
I wish, he is cheap to the point where my mother pays for his own food, clothes and car.
I have big goals and dreams. but he is always standing in my way making it much more harder than it is to achieve them.
I doubt he is that wise :pSounds like you're just like your father.
What if, you did move out, cause you're grown, and you distanced yourself? That handles a lot of it but you have to make that move yourself.
Do you have a job?
How old are you?
She is 19.
click to expand
Well aren't you a plethora of knowledge. Is she employed too?
Posted by LadyNeptune
I grew up with a verbally abusive, controlling ass Aquarius father.It was unbearable living under his roof. So I made a plan for myself.
I got a job when I was 16 and saved. When I was 18 I moved out. It was hard. I rented a shared room at first. I worked long hours and went to school at the same time. My education took longer to complete.
But my life was mine. Nothing compares to freedom.
I am sorry about your experience with your father.
You sound like an amazing person with a story.
She can't move in her mind it's a cultural expectation. She has stated for whatever reason she cannot for a few years.
click to expand
I'm not an amazing person. Everything I did, I did for myself. Completely selfish in that regard.
Hopefully Op will wise up and stop playing the victim role.
One of my favorite quotes by Alice Walker, "We are the ones we have been waiting for".
Stop waiting to be rescued from your problems Op and face them head on. Save yourself.
Posted by MiZLeo
I sware the only time I've ever been able to get my Leo dad to change his mind on anything is when I broke down and cried. His whole demeanour would change. I dunno if it would work on your dad but it does with mine. Now, I don't do it all the time....only when he is being his full 100% douche bag self and I was really hurting.
Yeah it works with my sister but I would never give him the satisfaction or show my weakness in front of him.
*eyeroll*
Millenials.
Posted by Montgomery
Your mother pays for her own food, clothes and car.I'm confused... you mean he makes her work for her
own money for these things because otherwise, she
be naked, hungry and not mobile?
I said she pays for HIS things
Posted by Mohini
Yea. I'm a sag, my dads a cheap Leo, but he also started from nithing, worked his way up the ladder... he expects the same from me.Once I proved I could do it, he helped more and was a better father. He wants me to stand up and take care of myself. I'm sure yours does too.
I wish, he is cheap to the point where my mother pays for his own food, clothes and car.
I have big goals and dreams. but he is always standing in my way making it much more harder than it is to achieve them.
I doubt he is that wise :pSounds like you're just like your father.
What if, you did move out, cause you're grown, and you distanced yourself? That handles a lot of it but you have to make that move yourself.
Do you have a job?
How old are you?
She is 19.
Well aren't you a plethora of knowledge. Is she employed too?
click to expand
Honestly, why would you say im just like him? :/
He refused to let me get a job, probably the idea of me being financially independent threatens him. but I just started an online job without him knowing
i dont mean to spread negative energy im just angry lol
Posted by LadyNeptune
I grew up with a verbally abusive, controlling ass Aquarius father.It was unbearable living under his roof. So I made a plan for myself.
I got a job when I was 16 and saved. When I was 18 I moved out. It was hard. I rented a shared room at first. I worked long hours and went to school at the same time. My education took longer to complete.
But my life was mine. Nothing compares to freedom.
I am sorry about your experience with your father.
You sound like an amazing person with a story.
She can't move in her mind it's a cultural expectation. She has stated for whatever reason she cannot for a few years.
I'm not an amazing person. Everything I did, I did for myself. Completely selfish in that regard.
Hopefully Op will wise up and stop playing the victim role.
One of my favorite quotes by Alice Walker, "We are the ones we have been waiting for".
Stop waiting to be rescued from your problems Op and face them head on. Save yourself.
click to expand
Your story is inspiring, you sound really mature.
I can see where you're coming from. But, I'd like to point out that never in this post have I asked for a way to solve my problems. The only thing I needed help with is from Leos on ways to piss him off. Thats all I asked for.
Other than that I agree with you, running away from problems aint gonna solve nothing
Posted by Mohini
Yea. I'm a sag, my dads a cheap Leo, but he also started from nithing, worked his way up the ladder... he expects the same from me.Once I proved I could do it, he helped more and was a better father. He wants me to stand up and take care of myself. I'm sure yours does too.
It's probably going down just like this. We are big on respect and dressing accordingly. Every Leo I know of has come up the hard way and appreciate what we have. There is nothing I wouldn't do for my kids but I don't just hand them stuff and I certainly don't let my daughter wear whatever she wants. She will dress like a little lady and have manners.
You are a Sag and were born to rebel against the system that your Leo dad believes in. Plus, you are hardheaded as fuck with that fixed moon and Asc. Probably makes him wanna pull his hair out. He's doing what he knows how to do in terms of raising you. Why don't you try being appreciative and grateful. You're an adult and he's still providing for you because he loves you.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
*eyeroll*Millenials.
Yep. You nailed it
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I'm a Sagittarius 19, ascendant is Aquarius, my moon sign is Scorpio. My dad is a leo.
We never get a long hes such an a chEAP abusive control freak, he controls the way we dress, we eat... etc UGH
im so done with him im not here to ask for an advice to build a good relationship with him
i just wanna know THE ways to piss him off and depress him if its possible just like he does to me
I tried to keep ignoring him, he looks mad for a minute or two then forgets about it
im thinking of using his own *harsh* words to throw on him, would it work?
Also, how should i react and what is the best thing to reply with when starts criticizing me? I wanna shut him up forever