Need Divorce Help From Strong Leo w/ Cunning Aires

This topic was created in the Leo forum by BlueEyes4326 on Sunday, April 7, 2013 and has 10 replies.

Profile picture of BlueEyes4326
@BlueEyes4326
13 Years

So I recently separated from my super cunning, manipulative and headstrong Aires wife, whom I was married to for 15 years. Now we are proceeding with litigation and I was wondering if anyone else here has gone through something similar with an Aires woman. Does anyone have any ideas of ways I can stay one step ahead in the courtroom? I really want to avoid being blindsided...

We have 2 kids together, a 15 year old boy and a 17 year old girl.
Both the kids live with their mother in what used to be our home. My soon-to-be ex-wife barely works and has been surviving on my spousal support money and its getting really old to be 100% honest. I feel like she is taking advantage of me and just wants all my money. Please help!!

Profile picture of MountainLeo
@MountainLeo
13 YearsLeo

Don't the courts in California just use dissomaster? With spousal support being half the duration of the marriage + or minus for child support. Seems if you just keep it simple things will work out fair for everyone.

Establish your x can work give her a gavron warning and wait. You are stuck for a while I think.

Profile picture of MountainLeo
@MountainLeo
13 YearsLeo

What do you think seraph? I'm currently going through same thing, I want to be fair ... Personally I find the gavron warning to be fair & simple disso for half duration is pretty non-abusive and fair.

My x is in school, so that is essentially the gavron warning.

Profile picture of Montgomery
@Montgomery
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by seraph

Posted by BlueEyes4326
Does anyone have any ideas of ways I can stay one step ahead in the courtroom? I really want to avoid being blindsided...

We have 2 kids together, a 15 year old boy and a 17 year old girl.
Both the kids live with their mother in what used to be our home. My soon-to-be ex-wife barely works and has been surviving on my spousal support money and its getting really old to be 100% honest. I feel like she is taking advantage of me and just wants all my money. Please help!!

Define "one step ahead."

1. Talk to your lawyer, in any case. Regardless of any "cunning" on the part of any sign, a decent lawyer will already know how to maximize their client's chances .

Exactly.

@BE2346

Get the best damned lawyer you can.

If you are inclined to go with the lowest bidder, or worse-- do without-- DON'T.

That really isn't the time to cut corners because what transpires will affect the rest of your life.

You've got to know what you want and be prepared-- she is.

See?

Posted by sewdope

However, if she's bitter, no advice will keep you one step ahead. If we want to fight, we will fight and make every effort to see you suffer if we feel scorned or slighted. Sorry you're going through this.

click to expand

Divorce is a rotten undertaking.

Arm yourself by finding the best attorney you can.

Good luck.

Profile picture of MountainLeo
@MountainLeo
13 YearsLeo

I think the object here is to have as much left over for the family as possible. If couples can come to reasonable agreements then you can save tens of thousands of dollars.

I would never agree to anything beyond disso & half the duration of marriage

Profile picture of MountainLeo
@MountainLeo
13 YearsLeo

Anyways she may seem like a bitch but she must be filled with fear... Just try to be empathetic if she wants more than the above states it must be war.

Profile picture of BlueEyes4326
@BlueEyes4326
13 Years

Thank you all for your replies.
It looks like a long road ahead... She absolutely wants to be independent, but in truth she's been raising our kids and basically agreed to forego her own career for our kids. I have intense respect for what she did, but I am curious how long you all think is a reasonable amount of time to be paying for her to get on her feet herself?

Profile picture of celticlioness
@celticlioness
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by BlueEyes4326
Thank you all for your replies.
It looks like a long road ahead... She absolutely wants to be independent, but in truth she's been raising our kids and basically agreed to forego her own career for our kids. I have intense respect for what she did, but I am curious how long you all think is a reasonable amount of time to be paying for her to get on her feet herself?

And this is the very reason why women should never give up their career to care for their children.

I assume she's been caring for them for the entire 17 years, how long now do you think you should give the mother of your children, a woman you once loved and respected (i assume) to get back on her feet, maybe a day/week for each year her career moved further and further away from her, she gave 17 years - could you perhaps be a bit more generous towards her, it could take a while to re-build what she gave up.

Profile picture of celticlioness
@celticlioness
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by seraph
Page 1:

Posted by BlueEyes4326
So I recently separated from my super cunning, manipulative and headstrong Aires wife, whom I was married to for 15 years. Now we are proceeding with litigation and I was wondering if anyone else here has gone through something similar with an Aires woman. Does anyone have any ideas of ways I can stay one step ahead in the courtroom? I really want to avoid being blindsided...

We have 2 kids together, a 15 year old boy and a 17 year old girl.
Both the kids live with their mother in what used to be our home. My soon-to-be ex-wife barely works and has been surviving on my spousal support money and its getting really old to be 100% honest. I feel like she is taking advantage of me and just wants all my money. Please help!!

Yet on Page 2:

Posted by BlueEyes4326
Thank you all for your replies.
It looks like a long road ahead... She absolutely wants to be independent, but in truth she's been raising our kids and basically agreed to forego her own career for our kids. I have intense respect for what she did, but I am curious how long you all think is a reasonable amount of time to be paying for her to get on her feet herself?

I guess you understand her position now. I get that you wouldn't want to pay what you can't afford to pay, but it appears she's been pulling her own weight. You ARE the children's father, and what's more, despite your "intense" respect for her, you spoke of this woman most disrespectfully here. Or have you moved and and gotten used to the easy life *without* kids? How involved are you in their lives?

click to expand

Phew, temporary shaken faith in men restored 🙂

Profile picture of MountainLeo
@MountainLeo
13 YearsLeo

Blueyes,

Potentially you could be open to permanent spousal support due to the duration of your marriage. It is super hard for both parties to not operate out of fear, I've been working like 45-60 hour work weeks for like a year and a half, but the way I see it she had a lot of super late nights with the kids for about 8 or 9 years. In my case I will owe spousal support for about 8 years. Pretty fair trade in the end, just remember keep it simple, try to resist fear as motivation & welcome to the machine as pink Floyd put it. To be fair though she should either be going to school, working, or both while this is going down.

😉 keep a stiff upper lip and look at the bright side u have your own space now! Priceless