We've taken a turn for the worse, now what? (Page 2)

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Leo1970
@Leo1970
14 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 206 · Topics: 17
Posted by 037
Don't be stupid. if she wanted the other guy, she wouldn't be with you.

Absolute nonsense arguing.

I've been telling you insecure men

IF you don't have a big cock, lots of money or are famous or something then a lioness must love you to be wwith you.

I commend you on hkuf decision to stay though. Once you start running, you'll keep running.
Very true! When we love, we love hard until you make us let go. it'll take awhile....but once we do, we're gone for good! Usually, we have several male potentials waiting to fill the empty space. OP, you behavior will eventually make her leave you for good! Trust me, she has already started the detaching process....the counseling is probably her last resort!
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MahoganyLeo
@MahoganyLeo
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 148 · Topics: 18
I'm not certain of the backstory, but I had a few questions. So you cheated on your lioness with your ex? Did your lioness and scorpio date in the past something? I'm confused on where the animosity is coming from towards him. Do you still keep in contact with your ex? How did the thing with your ex happen? Why did it happen? How old are you and your lioness?


If you want you can post links to your previous posts if you will have to answer twice.
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crabbycrab76
@crabbycrab76
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 657 · Topics: 13
Posted by Leo1970
Posted by 037
Don't be stupid. if she wanted the other guy, she wouldn't be with you.

Absolute nonsense arguing.

I've been telling you insecure men

IF you don't have a big cock, lots of money or are famous or something then a lioness must love you to be wwith you.

I commend you on hkuf decision to stay though. Once you start running, you'll keep running.
Very true! When we love, we love hard until you make us let go. it'll take awhile....but once we do, we're gone for good! Usually, we have several male potentials waiting to fill the empty space. OP, you behavior will eventually make her leave you for good! Trust me, she has already started the detaching process....the counseling is probably her last resort!
click to expand

She was clear that if this didn't work, it was over. 😢
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crabbycrab76
@crabbycrab76
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 657 · Topics: 13
Posted by Ssupes
Posted by crabbycrab76
Thx to everyone who responded. Lioness seemed much better after several cycles of resting/eating. She said she was just exhausted. I took her to get her car from work and she texted me late and said *thanks for being there*. So, I probably won't hear from her until she leaves for the trip.
I think you need to focus on being more positive in your personal life. Don't forget, us Leo's like to have fun and laugh bro. Kinda recharges our soul. Make your lioness smile and show her a good time. That will help her heal faster.
click to expand

Ssupes man, you been talking to my counselor? You're right tho
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crabbycrab76
@crabbycrab76
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 657 · Topics: 13
Posted by capricornmoon
I told you to leave her alone for awhile, I told you that you don't really have her back yet, but you didn't want to believe it. It's relationship common sense 101, love and intimacy can't be created, you can't try too hard with it, let the chemistry naturally build up on its own,and you do that by walking away, time heals most wounds, but you kept suffocating her emotions, instead of giving her a chance to heal.
I feel what you suggested was opposite of what should have happened. I only spend time with her when she initiates. To back off as you suggested would have made her just walk away. I definitely should have chilled a bit with scorpio, especially around her work, that's were I fucked up, but I'm not going to not spend time with her when she asks.

And yes, you were right in the sense that she's struggling more than I realized, but that doesn't mean she's not in it 100% . Lioness gives her all or nothing - that's the way she is. But it's obviously gonna take more time to get pass what has occurred. No doubt.
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crabbycrab76
@crabbycrab76
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 657 · Topics: 13
Posted by MahoganyLeo
I'm not certain of the backstory, but I had a few questions. So you cheated on your lioness with your ex? Did your lioness and scorpio date in the past something? I'm confused on where the animosity is coming from towards him. Do you still keep in contact with your ex? How did the thing with your ex happen? Why did it happen? How old are you and your lioness?


If you want you can post links to your previous posts if you will have to answer twice.
I tried copying the links, but they all run together. Sorry. I'll try separate post.
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MsTeeq1974
@MsTeeq1974
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 2068 · Topics: 16
Posted by crabbycrab76
Fuck if I know anymore. I don't want her to leave. But I won't talk to her unless she calls first and then she'll be with him for 3 wks. She'll call maybe when she returns or maybe she'll just cut me off again and then I'll know her decision. I don't want to guilt her into anything. But I already feel a hole in my chest in what's coming.
I understand this feeling. I'm too stubborn to act on it, but I understand it. It's hard to explain to other people how it feels when you know the end is coming and separation at a relationship key moment is not the answer. I also feel like everything other than a close intimate relationship is expendable. I'm not saying that I would EVER ask a man to risk his career for me. I would do just the opposite. I would hang in there, making the necessary adjustments to make our relationship work, but that hole in the chest feeling though...it's real. Some people (like me) REALLY connect with people and once you do, it's like...they're in the air you breath. This is why I've preferred casual relationships over more serious ones. It's the serious ones that always bring the most pain and suffering. I can't do a serious relationship on a "casual" level. It's impossible for me.
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crabbycrab76
@crabbycrab76
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 657 · Topics: 13
Posted by MsTeeq1974
Posted by crabbycrab76
Fuck if I know anymore. I don't want her to leave. But I won't talk to her unless she calls first and then she'll be with him for 3 wks. She'll call maybe when she returns or maybe she'll just cut me off again and then I'll know her decision. I don't want to guilt her into anything. But I already feel a hole in my chest in what's coming.
I understand this feeling. I'm too stubborn to act on it, but I understand it. It's hard to explain to other people how it feels when you know the end is coming and separation at a relationship key moment is not the answer. I also feel like everything other than a close intimate relationship is expendable. I'm not saying that I would EVER ask a man to risk his career for me. I would do just the opposite. I would hang in there, making the necessary adjustments to make our relationship work, but that hole in the chest feeling though...it's real. Some people (like me) REALLY connect with people and once you do, it's like...they're in the air you breath. This is why I've preferred casual relationships over more serious ones. It's the serious ones that always bring the most pain and suffering. I can't do a serious relationship on a "casual" level. It's impossible for me.
click to expand

Yes! The feeling is overwhelming and over take rationale at times 😢
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MahoganyLeo
@MahoganyLeo
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 148 · Topics: 18
Okay so I have taken the time to read the threads


- You do sound entitled even narcissistic
- We do forgive easily but this jealousy act you're pulling with the scorpio will push her away even more. She even likes the who scorp giving her attention if she didn't she would have shut it down completely. However she feels justified because if you were doing what you were supposed to do then you wouldn't be in the position you're in.
- She is one foot out the door in this relationship as a matter of fact she really is only doing this to say she gave it 100% in the end. When we done we like to know we're done completely. We like to know we're tried everything. And in her case for her this is based on the amount of years you two invested in this relationship which is 5 years. Had it been like a 1/2 year relationship she would have been done.
-She has now had a year away from you, which means a year to realize she can make it without you, I'm sure she even came in contact with other really good prospects during that time. That means you need to step up your game big time this time around. If you were giving 75% before you now need to give 150% and show that you will be able to sustain at 150% . Which means you need to be a changed man completely (which never really happens)
- If you noticed all of these wonderful things about her then why did you cheat?
-There is a pretty good chance scorp will show her a very good time during that 3 weeks all on the company's dime. She doesn't need to want him or sleep with him for that matter she just needs to remember why she left you and what's important to her.


Anyway if I remember to add more I will
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crabbycrab76
@crabbycrab76
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 657 · Topics: 13
@MahoganyLeo
If she was going to do something with scorpio, I think she would have done it by now. They have been working together for a long time (before I even came in the picture). They have worked closely on two projects now in the last 3 yrs or so For her own reasons, which I have not asked and she has not volunteered, she's chosen not to get romantically involved with him in all the years they have know each other. But I do feel that she has some level of respect for him (be it on a professional level or just friendship ) which causes her to handle him differently and I get that.

We took breaks because things weren't always peachy, so during those times I did have doubts. Regardless of why I did what I did, I did them and in the end that is what matters to her. No doubt, lioness have amazing qualities and perhaps I've come to truly appreciate those qualities too late. I can't undo the past, nor do I have control over the future. There are areas that I can certainly improve and I'm willing to try to improve them, but in the end I can only be myself.
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MahoganyLeo
@MahoganyLeo
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 148 · Topics: 18
Posted by crabbycrab76
@MahoganyLeo
If she was going to do something with scorpio, I think she would have done it by now. They have been working together for a long time (before I even came in the picture). They have worked closely on two projects now in the last 3 yrs or so For her own reasons, which I have not asked and she has not volunteered, she's chosen not to get romantically involved with him in all the years they have know each other. But I do feel that she has some level of respect for him (be it on a professional level or just friendship ) which causes her to handle him differently and I get that.
That's why I said "There is a pretty good chance scorp will show her a very good time during that 3 weeks all on the company's dime. She doesn't need to want him or sleep with him for that matter she just needs to remember why she left you and what's important to her."


I never said she will want him because I'm sure if she did whatever would have happened by now plus we don't need to have revenge sex, it's pointless.
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MahoganyLeo
@MahoganyLeo
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 148 · Topics: 18
Posted by 037
Okay.

When you said the Scorp will show her a good time, it seemed like you meant she'll let him go quite far.

What I see is her Leo sun moon needs appeasing. Gifts, flowers, going, the works....

Because she took him back after a year. If he doesn't mess up, they could get back to being gold.
Noooooo we're wayy to loyal for that crap. Literally the only person that can sabotage any chance of future happiness is HIM. Which goes back to the other point I made

"If you were giving 75% before you now need to give 150% and show that you will be able to sustain at 150% . Which means you need to be a changed man completely (which never really happens)"


The jealousy stunts he is pulling will not fly with her and she probably doesn't find attractive right now at all.
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crabbycrab76
@crabbycrab76
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 657 · Topics: 13
@Mahogany
It just doesn't fit her. She tends not to blur the lines. She's very black and white in that perspective. What we have is so much deeper than that. I do believe she has forgiven me, but my actions with Scorpio is making her second guess that. I caused that. Since she's decided to forgive, I don't see her doing it half-ass. She doesn't need scorpip to remember why she left and what's important, she only needs to think of my cheating to remember that! When we spend time together there's nothing but love between us. But as I've said before, she is struggling with it privately and only shows it during arguments because she rather work it out with her own self first, but she's recognized that that's not really working which is ONE of the reasons why she wanted us to go the counseling route.

Have there been pursuer - I'm sure there has...but when it was all said and done, she choose to give me another chance. She could easily chose to walk away from us, but she didn't and that speaks volumes.
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crabbycrab76
@crabbycrab76
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 657 · Topics: 13
Our counselor (aka Satan) is working with me on what kind of feelings I want her to have when she leaves for out of the country and how I can help her feel that way, what I can or won't do to promote those feelings. So that's what I'm focusing on now. I have talked to her and she hasn't called or text, but she said she would be focusing on wrapping up the project, so no big surprise there.
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crabbycrab76
@crabbycrab76
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 657 · Topics: 13
Posted by 037
Okay.

When you said the Scorp will show her a good time, it seemed like you meant she'll let him go quite far.

What I see is her Leo sun moon needs appeasing. Gifts, flowers, going, the works....

Because she took him back after a year. If he doesn't mess up, they could get back to being gold.
Yes! Ther's been too much drama for her. I see that now. I think too we will be golden - if I stop fucking up!
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crabbycrab76
@crabbycrab76
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 657 · Topics: 13
Posted by 037
Crabby, as long as you think you're fucking up, she'll think so too.

Forgive yourself. Then she'll know its truly over with. Don't bring up the cheating. Tell her you are only focused on her now.
Buy her something nice, or encourage her or applaud her ability to be a strong woman. It helps.

I wish you could show me her full chart.
Yes, you're right.
I don't know the time she was born, can I private message you?
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MsTeeq1974
@MsTeeq1974
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 2068 · Topics: 16
Posted by crabbycrab76
Posted by MsTeeq1974
Posted by crabbycrab76
Fuck if I know anymore. I don't want her to leave. But I won't talk to her unless she calls first and then she'll be with him for 3 wks. She'll call maybe when she returns or maybe she'll just cut me off again and then I'll know her decision. I don't want to guilt her into anything. But I already feel a hole in my chest in what's coming.
I understand this feeling. I'm too stubborn to act on it, but I understand it. It's hard to explain to other people how it feels when you know the end is coming and separation at a relationship key moment is not the answer. I also feel like everything other than a close intimate relationship is expendable. I'm not saying that I would EVER ask a man to risk his career for me. I would do just the opposite. I would hang in there, making the necessary adjustments to make our relationship work, but that hole in the chest feeling though...it's real. Some people (like me) REALLY connect with people and once you do, it's like...they're in the air you breath. This is why I've preferred casual relationships over more serious ones. It's the serious ones that always bring the most pain and suffering. I can't do a serious relationship on a "casual" level. It's impossible for me.
Yes! The feeling is overwhelming and over take rationale at times 😢
click to expand

Exactly. So, maybe try repeating very compassionately to yourself that you're overreacting. Our brains do this thing where we fill in the gap where there is NO information. I'm saying...I understand your pain, but instead of having a knee jerk response, try actually controlling your impulse and slow yourself down into a secure place. Realize that you're safe and sound, even emotionally, because we are equipped to heal from whatever life throws our way. You'll be more disappointed if you lose her, because you won't control your impulses than if you control yourself and lose her anyways. Sometimes it's better to lose the battle so that you can win the war.
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crabbycrab76
@crabbycrab76
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 657 · Topics: 13
Posted by MsTeeq1974
Exactly. So, maybe try repeating very compassionately to yourself that you're overreacting. Our brains do this thing where we fill in the gap where there is NO information. I'm saying...I understand your pain, but instead of having a knee jerk response, try actually controlling your impulse and slow yourself down into a secure place. Realize that you're safe and sound, even emotionally, because we are equipped to heal from whatever life throws our way. You'll be more disappointed if you lose her, because you won't control your impulses than if you control yourself and lose her anyways. Sometimes it's better to lose the battle so that you can win the war.



I'll try. Hard to do in the heat of the moment tho. Guess I'll keep trying 😉 Thx!
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crabbycrab76
@crabbycrab76
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 657 · Topics: 13
Posted by MoonshineLeo
Posted by 037
Crabby, as long as you think you're fucking up, she'll think so too.

Forgive yourself. Then she'll know its truly over with. Don't bring up the cheating. Tell her you are only focused on her now.
Buy her something nice, or encourage her or applaud her ability to be a strong woman. It helps.

I wish you could show me her full chart.
this++++++
click to expand

🙂 I actually came up with something I would like to do for her before she leaves. But I'm not sure if I will get a chance, as I won't bother her while she's trying to focus on the last bit of the project. But IF she calls and wants to spend time, I'm sure this will make her very very happy. If I don't get to do it for her before she leaves, I'll do it when she gets back. It's not romantic, but it's fun which is what I think we both could use some of.
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crabbycrab76
@crabbycrab76
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 657 · Topics: 13
Lioness is gone, but she left happy.

She loved the surprise (that would we be me in 80's retro dress style and hair wig, doing my best impression of her favorite singer, Michael Jackson). She leaped up to give me a hug around my neck and kissed me all over my face and neck with happy eyes and said "Oh! The many reasons why I love you!". 😄 😄 😄 Afterwards, we danced to many of his songs.

I gave her her birthday present early since she will be gone on that day. She said it was perfect and would never take it off 🙂 She even let me stay overnight and surprised me this morning by making her famous homemade turtle cookies for me. Yeah, I was all grins.

Scorpio showed up when the plane was boarding. I'm sure he had been there - lurking about. (arrgh). I gave him the hello nod which pleased lioness. He nodded back. (ugggh)

The airport good-bye was tough - she was the last to board. It's gonna be a lonnng 3 wks! I'm so fucking sad right now.
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Jynja
@037
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 12 · Posts: 1250 · Topics: 77
Posted by crabbycrab76
Lioness is gone, but she left happy.

She loved the surprise (that would we be me in 80's retro dress style and hair wig, doing my best impression of her favorite singer, Michael Jackson). She leaped up to give me a hug around my neck and kissed me all over my face and neck with happy eyes and said "Oh! The many reasons why I love you!". 😄 😄 😄 Afterwards, we danced to many of his songs.

I gave her her birthday present early since she will be gone on that day. She said it was perfect and would never take it off 🙂 She even let me stay overnight and surprised me this morning by making her famous homemade turtle cookies for me. Yeah, I was all grins.

Scorpio showed up when the plane was boarding. I'm sure he had been there - lurking about. (arrgh). I gave him the hello nod which pleased lioness. He nodded back. (ugggh)

The airport good-bye was tough - she was the last to board. It's gonna be a lonnng 3 wks! I'm so fucking sad right now.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. This is so sweet, it made e grin like a kid. 😄

((((((((((((((( Big hugs)))))))))))))))) .
Profile picture of 037
Jynja
@037
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 12 · Posts: 1250 · Topics: 77
Posted by crabbycrab76
Lioness is gone, but she left happy.

She loved the surprise (that would we be me in 80's retro dress style and hair wig, doing my best impression of her favorite singer, Michael Jackson). She leaped up to give me a hug around my neck and kissed me all over my face and neck with happy eyes and said "Oh! The many reasons why I love you!". 😄 😄 😄 Afterwards, we danced to many of his songs.

I gave her her birthday present early since she will be gone on that day. She said it was perfect and would never take it off 🙂 She even let me stay overnight and surprised me this morning by making her famous homemade turtle cookies for me. Yeah, I was all grins.

Scorpio showed up when the plane was boarding. I'm sure he had been there - lurking about. (arrgh). I gave him the hello nod which pleased lioness. He nodded back. (ugggh)

The airport good-bye was tough - she was the last to board. It's gonna be a lonnng 3 wks! I'm so fucking sad right now.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. This is so sweet, it made e grin like a kid. 😄

((((((((((((((( Big hugs)))))))))))))))) .
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crabbycrab76
@crabbycrab76
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 657 · Topics: 13
Posted by 037


Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. This is so sweet, it made e grin like a kid. 😄

((((((((((((((( Big hugs)))))))))))))))) .
Thx for the hug 🙂. Think "Satan in the flesh" tricked me to giving the nod, because she kept pushing and pushing for a handshake at the airport and worked it down to a hello nod. Damn bitch! But I guess she knows what she's doing since it went well. So now maybe she'll get the hell off my back. LOL. 😉 (only kidding with a name calling - a little 😉)
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AnnaLeeBishop
@AnnaLeeBishop
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 10 · Topics: 0
Posted by Leo1970
Posted by 037
Don't be stupid. if she wanted the other guy, she wouldn't be with you.

Absolute nonsense arguing.

I've been telling you insecure men

IF you don't have a big cock, lots of money or are famous or something then a lioness must love you to be wwith you.

I commend you on hkuf decision to stay though. Once you start running, you'll keep running.
Very true! When we love, we love hard until you make us let go. it'll take awhile....but once we do, we're gone for good! Usually, we have several male potentials waiting to fill the empty space. OP, you behavior will eventually make her leave you for good! Trust me, she has already started the detaching process....the counseling is probably her last resort!
click to expand


Hi . I'm in need of advice?

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Nameless Nemean
@Chuckcem
14 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 17 · Posts: 5119 · Topics: 78
Posted by AnnaLeeBishop
Posted by Leo1970
Posted by 037
Don't be stupid. if she wanted the other guy, she wouldn't be with you.

Absolute nonsense arguing.

I've been telling you insecure men

IF you don't have a big cock, lots of money or are famous or something then a lioness must love you to be wwith you.

I commend you on hkuf decision to stay though. Once you start running, you'll keep running.
Very true! When we love, we love hard until you make us let go. it'll take awhile....but once we do, we're gone for good! Usually, we have several male potentials waiting to fill the empty space. OP, you behavior will eventually make her leave you for good! Trust me, she has already started the detaching process....the counseling is probably her last resort!

Hi . I'm in need of advice?

click to expand

About a Leo? Just post your question as a topic in the Leo board. There's also an Ask a Leo Woman topic and a Ask a Leo topic floating around as well.