Help! Demanding and critical Libra

I've been with a Libra who has been paralyzed for 15 years, I know his demanding ways has a lot to do with him being paralyzed... His critical ways however I don't quite understand where they come from and what he is trying to accomplish being that way towards me. We have separate apartments but I practically live at his place. For the most part he is independent but the things he depends on me for he demands and he does it in a critical way.

Has anyone ever been with or met a Libra who criticizes every decision or free will choice you make? I love my Libra but I am getting so sick and tired of him feeling like he can tell me what to do and how to do it every time we are together. 75% of the time he don't get the results he is looking for being that way but he will still do it. So we end up arguing like an old ass couple. Everyone thinks its cute and funny but they don't have to deal with this all the time like me it's super frustrating to the point I get teary eyed from being so annoyed where I am literally yelling wth is your problem dude leave me the f alone. Then I am the bad guy because I flip and get distant. Everyone pitties him no one cares about how he actually makes me feel because he is paralyzed no one knows what I go thru with this man.

What are his other placements?

How long have you been together?

His other placements, Cancer Moon; Scorpio Mercury, Venus and Uranus; Leo Mars, Virgo Jupiter and Saturn and Neptune Sagittarius. We’ve been together a little over two years although we’ve been good friends since kids, my big cousin use to babysit him before his parents passed away and he moved out of state. He knows how I feel when he sees me sad about it but he’ll just start being really nice. By then I’m already bothered so I just want to be left alone.

Posted by PayMeek_NoMind
His other placements, Cancer Moon; Scorpio Mercury, Venus and Uranus; Leo Mars, Virgo Jupiter and Saturn and Neptune Sagittarius. We’ve been together a little over two years although we’ve been good friends since kids, my big cousin use to babysit him before his parents passed away and he moved out of state. He knows how I feel when he sees me sad about it but he’ll just start being really nice. By then I’m already bothered so I just want to be left alone.

honestly - to me, I don't care if they are well or sick - I refuse to be around someone who is mean and unhappy - sorry for your bad luck dude but if you treat people like you do you will end up alone - yes, they say most are the worst with the person that is closest to them ... I'm sorry - but I can't accept that someone has to "just take it" ...

People will treat you as you allow them to.

this cycle you have described in where you fight with him when he is demanding, only to then have him realize you're hurt so that he gets nice while it's too late because you're already distraught ..... is a permissible scenario that is perfectly acceptable because this is how you've taught him to treat you.

If you are doing what he demands of you ... then all of your words and feelings in contention are in vain. for the mere fact that you do it anyway, signals to him that you will comply, he just has to put up with you being a bitch about it. But, you WILL do what he says.

By you doing what he demands, you kill yourself ... a slow death .... if it goes against your principals.



Instead, do it your way. don't argue, don't say anything .... just do it your way and then calmly sit down on the couch, look over at him and smile and ask what programme he wants to watch tonight.

If he screams, guilt trips, or whatever his form of manipulation is .. ignore it, while continuing to be the light in the room. Remain unaffected, no matter how much he protests.

he won't be yelling for long. Once he realizes he can't push you around, he'll stop. But, so long as you let him push you .. he will because you would be letting him.

Or, is it .... vane?

I get those two messed up. As with bear/bare

to bear the brunt of something ... is it bare? or bear?

Posted by tcta

Posted by PayMeek_NoMind
His other placements, Cancer Moon; Scorpio Mercury, Venus and Uranus; Leo Mars, Virgo Jupiter and Saturn and Neptune Sagittarius. We’ve been together a little over two years although we’ve been good friends since kids, my big cousin use to babysit him before his parents passed away and he moved out of state. He knows how I feel when he sees me sad about it but he’ll just start being really nice. By then I’m already bothered so I just want to be left alone.

honestly - to me, I don't care if they are well or sick - I refuse to be around someone who is mean and unhappy - sorry for your bad luck dude but if you treat people like you do you will end up alone - yes, they say most are the worst with the person that is closest to them ... I'm sorry - but I can't accept that someone has to "just take it" ...

click to expand

Right, no one wants to be with someone who is mean to them, he is not an all around unhappy mean person but it's like he has periods or something. When things are good they're great but when they aren't they suck.

Posted by P-Angel
People will treat you as you allow them to.

this cycle you have described in where you fight with him when he is demanding, only to then have him realize you're hurt so that he gets nice while it's too late because you're already distraught ..... is a permissible scenario that is perfectly acceptable because this is how you've taught him to treat you.

If you are doing what he demands of you ... then all of your words and feelings in contention are in vain. for the mere fact that you do it anyway, signals to him that you will comply, he just has to put up with you being a bitch about it. But, you WILL do what he says.

By you doing what he demands, you kill yourself ... a slow death .... if it goes against your principals.



Instead, do it your way. don't argue, don't say anything .... just do it your way and then calmly sit down on the couch, look over at him and smile and ask what programme he wants to watch tonight.

If he screams, guilt trips, or whatever his form of manipulation is .. ignore it, while continuing to be the light in the room. Remain unaffected, no matter how much he protests.

he won't be yelling for long. Once he realizes he can't push you around, he'll stop. But, so long as you let him push you .. he will because you would be letting him.

Thanks a bunch you hit the nail on the head and great advice!

Posted by PayMeek_NoMind

Posted by P-Angel
People will treat you as you allow them to.

this cycle you have described in where you fight with him when he is demanding, only to then have him realize you're hurt so that he gets nice while it's too late because you're already distraught ..... is a permissible scenario that is perfectly acceptable because this is how you've taught him to treat you.

If you are doing what he demands of you ... then all of your words and feelings in contention are in vain. for the mere fact that you do it anyway, signals to him that you will comply, he just has to put up with you being a bitch about it. But, you WILL do what he says.

By you doing what he demands, you kill yourself ... a slow death .... if it goes against your principals.



Instead, do it your way. don't argue, don't say anything .... just do it your way and then calmly sit down on the couch, look over at him and smile and ask what programme he wants to watch tonight.

If he screams, guilt trips, or whatever his form of manipulation is .. ignore it, while continuing to be the light in the room. Remain unaffected, no matter how much he protests.

he won't be yelling for long. Once he realizes he can't push you around, he'll stop. But, so long as you let him push you .. he will because you would be letting him.

Thanks a bunch you hit the nail on the head and great advice!

click to expand

I had to bump this up for P-Angel I knew I had communication with her and I knew it wasn't unpleasant. Sorry all I was reading through the P-Angel post and realized she may have rubbed a few ppl the wrong way and I just couldn't remember getting that vibe from her. I hope she is okay and if she has passed on I hope she was with family and in a happy space within.

Are you still with that asshole?

I'm sorry, paralysis or not, it's not a get out of jail free card to be a dick. This comes from someone who was a caretaker to a disabled Libra parent for 3 years. She was always grateful and never expected half the shit I did for her.

Dismissing asshat behavior because of a disability is the worst thing that you can do. A disability is not a get out of jail free pass to be an asshole to those who are helping. They need a reality check.

Right, so yes I am still with him but I had broken it off with him shortly after that post. We recently got back together almost 2 or 3 months ago when he realized it was time to act right. I never just broke off our relationship and quit all contact and honestly I wanted to be with him. I just wasn’t about to be with him treating me like that and I made that clear. I am not the young little naïve girl you met I am grown I know what I am worth and how I deserve to be treated. I mean really I love this man so when we did reconnect we had some tough conversations. He came wanting to be back together yet he’s always been had this high mighty attitude like he could be however he wanted and never needed to right his wrongs. He'd barely say sorry and when he did it would be like some quick stupid ars sarcastic sorry. I just wasn’t having that shit no more, I got tough over the years he know, and he also knows he don’t want to be without me. Me and these kids are the best thing that happen to this mans life and I promised him one thing for sure, things cannot go back to the way they were because I will be gone for good. So anywho, bought a house no more separate apartments and we good with minimal aggravation. Sometimes he just can’t help himself but to get a little needy but he’s def checked himself on his demanding ways. The big problem is I allowed it for so long and never really put my foot down until this year. My patience for the crap is like gone I got too much going on to come home to that behavior. Happy wife happy life everyone tells me how good my heart is. How good I am of a person and he never did and to be with someone paralyzed and not see that or treat him handicap he should've appreciated me more then but he do now because he seen exactly what he had to lose.

Posted by PayMeek_NoMind
Right, so yes I am still with him but I had broken it off with him shortly after that post. We recently got back together almost 2 or 3 months ago when he realized it was time to act right. I never just broke off our relationship and quit all contact and honestly I wanted to be with him. I just wasn’t about to be with him treating me like that and I made that clear. I am not the young little naïve girl you met I am grown I know what I am worth and how I deserve to be treated. I mean really I love this man so when we did reconnect we had some tough conversations. He came wanting to be back together yet he’s always been had this high mighty attitude like he could be however he wanted and never needed to right his wrongs. He'd barely say sorry and when he did it would be like some quick stupid ars sarcastic sorry. I just wasn’t having that shit no more, I got tough over the years he know, and he also knows he don’t want to be without me. Me and these kids are the best thing that happen to this mans life and I promised him one thing for sure, things cannot go back to the way they were because I will be gone for good. So anywho, bought a house no more separate apartments and we good with minimal aggravation. Sometimes he just can’t help himself but to get a little needy but he’s def checked himself on his demanding ways. The big problem is I allowed it for so long and never really put my foot down until this year. My patience for the crap is like gone I got too much going on to come home to that behavior. Happy wife happy life everyone tells me how good my heart is. How good I am of a person and he never did and to be with someone paralyzed and not see that or treat him handicap he should've appreciated me more then but he do now because he seen exactly what he had to lose.

way to go - good for both of you - life is hard enough, we need to work together and be kind to each other