Help with Libra guy (Page 2)

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Weren't you one of the ones in the "misunderstood" thread where the bad traits were brought up and you were making it out to be that being nice and flirting was just "innocent" fun?

...yet here you are, admitting to using this tactic as a form of manipulation for your own selfish needs.

You just proved AQ09's point beautifully.

click to expand

Yes, that was me but no, she was talking about leading people on. I don't do that. I flirt. To me it is innocent, meaningless fun. It is manipulative? Sure but as much as good customer service is manipulative.

She was also talking about being nice to people. There is a difference between being nice and flirting.

But to have someone fancy you in that moment? Of course it is an ego boost. Isn't that the same for everyone? They key is that it is in that moment. It's fleeting. It's not a concerted effort to win them over for good. (Although yeah, when I was younger ie a teenager, I wanted that attention for reassurance. To be fair at the time I would genuinely be interested, it is just when they showed interest I immediately lost mine. And then I got out of there at the speed of light.)

Is it a bad trait? Probably. But now if someone flirts with me and they get me to blush and giggle I don't think they are a bastard and I don't think they lurve me. It's fun and lighthearted. You have a laugh, you move on and you enjoy seeing them next time.

Posted by sag 17
So I found out through a mutual friend that it's someone else , a women from his past . I don't know all details but how should I proceed ? Of course, I'm not going to put myself in some love triangle but i guess I was put on hold because he is trying to figure this out . I'm just very upset that he wasn't honest with me because we weren't in a relationship and he could have just let me know .

Posted by sag 17
I just don't like the lying , and it does sting that it's about another women, he was basically trying to put me on hold . I'm done with it .

Posted by jeane

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Weren't you one of the ones in the "misunderstood" thread where the bad traits were brought up and you were making it out to be that being nice and flirting was just "innocent" fun?

...yet here you are, admitting to using this tactic as a form of manipulation for your own selfish needs.

You just proved AQ09's point beautifully.

Yes, that was me but no, she was talking about leading people on. I don't do that. I flirt. To me it is innocent, meaningless fun. It is manipulative? Sure but as much as good customer service is manipulative.

She was also talking about being nice to people. There is a difference between being nice and flirting.
.

click to expand

I was talking about multiple things:

1) Leading people on in disguise of "niceness" yet it really is flirting.

Like I said in that forum, there is a distinction between nice and flirting. They are NOT synonymous. Nice is HELPING someone and flirting is stroking someone's ego to make them think there's an interest.

2) The niceness wasn't innocent but rather done for selfish reasons (ego boost/to make others like you

Your life example indeed proved my point perfectly. You got a thrill out of leading people on and there's nothing more to that post that you made. It's pure selfishness. Thanks and a special shout out to Rocky for seeing that. Lol.