How do you cope with death?

My Libra friend lost a close friend today.... he was texting me when the incident happened and informed me this morning that the friend had passed.

He said he just needed time to process it and I've been giving him space but I am the the "fix it" type. So it is hard for me to not jump in and care take... but I'm respecting his boundaries.

Made me wonder how people cope...

It depends on the person. You said your friend said he needs space so, you gotta respect it.

I lost my mom earlier this year and being around my family helped but.. I came to see that not having time to myself actually made me spin into a depression. Still trying to get out of that. A nice balance is needed.

or idk maybe the depression was inevitable.
I try to cope with distractions generally.

I've been through both my parents' deaths, my grandparents, and a friend who was killed by a DD. Been there, done that. Everyone mourns differently. Some talk about it and some don't. Some need time to go through the stages of grieving and so on.

OP, if your friend said he needs space, give it to him. Leave him alone. He'll come to you when he's ready. When that happens, all you can really do is just listen when he wants to talk. If he wants to talk about it, let him. If he doesn't want to, that's okay too.

People generally treat death as a taboo subject and freak out, making it about their own comfort level and go as far as avoiding the mourning person because they're stupidly awkward about it. The fact that you want to be there and help is props to you. As much as you want to jump in, just give dude space. It could be a few days, it could be a few weeks. Considering he just found out, give it time. It could be awhile.


@CurlyAries, in regard to your depression, it happens.You get in funks and you have good days. Considering it's just been a few months, you're still working through it all. I'm the same way though, keeping busy helps keep my mind off of it. The only kicker is when I finally have down time, it all catches up to me and hits me. It's rough. But my mind also shuts down too. I just don't think about it a good portion of the time. I can relate though, I just lost my mom a year and a half ago. It's rough.

Hey, thanks for the responses! I'm a nurse, so the death subject is a norm for me.

He went into work yesterday, after the fact. I messaged him and asked if he needed anything and that i was shocked he was there. He didn't ask for the day off because the owner had plans with his kids and he didn't want to interfere with that. (He's a great guy)

We chatted for a few yesterday and then I went silent to give him space. He posted the loss on social media in the afternoon so he'll have people there to support him. I figured I'd give him a few days to process before I reach out again.

He knows how to reach me. I'm thinking of him and I'd really like to give him a huge hug but respecting his wishes is the most important.

I'm sorry to hear about everyone's loss... I have lost many that I love and it never gets easier.

I don't "do" death. I'll avoid the funeral if I can. I don't like the whole concept of gathering to mourn. Id rather celebrate their life. I have a weird attitude towards life and death though I think. When we grieve its about us, in some way I want to say its selfish, but not in the typical meaning of the word as most know it. Maybe ive never been close enough to someone/something to feel it the way alot of other people feel it. The loss of a child I think would be most unbearable though...

Posted by LibraLovesHim
I don't "do" death. I'll avoid the funeral if I can. I don't like the whole concept of gathering to mourn. Id rather celebrate their life. I have a weird attitude towards life and death though I think. When we grieve its about us, in some way I want to say its selfish, but not in the typical meaning of the word as most know it. Maybe ive never been close enough to someone/something to feel it the way alot of other people feel it. The loss of a child I think would be most unbearable though...

I agree with you. I hate funerals. I didn't go to my mother's funeral - I actually didn't have much feeling for her after years and years of her mental escapades and her arguments and no love - but I did take off work the day of her funeral and grieved on my own and planted some flowers that she and I had always loved. I had actually bought them about a week prior and they were sitting there and it seemed fit. My son wanted me to go - he said it wasn't for her but for everyone left to just get together. But I just couldn't and he understood.

I don't fear death and I believe in reincarnation so it's not that big of a deal to me.

It might be sad if it's someone close but I don't actually care too much.

Yes it sounds harsh, i know.

I'm just like ,"Oh wow Billy died? that sucks... so what else is new in your life?"