In Love with my Libra Best-Friend

I am an aquarius female who has had a libra as my non-sexual best-friend for the past 6-years. He and I get each-other, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, all that. But I am butt-crazy in love with him and can not tell him because I think it will scare him away. Whenever we get around the topic of dating I get flustered and abruptly change the subject. Do Libra men find it hard to tell women when they are in love with them?? I think he may be in love with me but I don't think he would ever tell me. He was the first to initiate the "I Love U's" but he plays it like he loves me as a friend and he always says it at the weirdest times, and it leaves me stunned like, "Okay, I love u too". We do not live in the same state and I visited him about a month ago. We had a wonderful time, he kept hugging me and telling me he loved me, we even circled the dating question, to which I could not answer him. I got scared. Now everytime I ask about him coming here or us seeing eachother again, he gets weird on me. I need some advice on what to do, how to hook this guy before some other chic snags him. He is a worth-it catch as we know everything there is to know about each-other and there is a tramendous amount of respect and love there.

Libra men, HELP, Please!!

I think as a Libra the lines between friendship and love can be blurred if we find the other person physically attractive. My hunch is he is very attracted to you but doesn't know what to do. He may suspect that the hesitation regarding ILY and hestitation regarding dating as something you are not interested in.

I am not sure what you should do. Part of me thinks you should bring up the whole dating thing again, part of me thinks you shouldn't.

Can you go see him again?

WOW! Thank you all for responding. This love thing certainly is hard to figure out. I think I try to get together and if the time is right I will bring it up again.

Are Libra's more attracted to the physical or mental, when it comes down to it? Or are they looking for whatever is easiest?

DepressedAngel - I think he may feel the way you did, like I am unreachable. What would you have wanted your aquarian to do to make you comfortable enough to open up and tell her how you really felt? I almost feel like I want to call him now and argue him into telling me how he really feels. But he is kind of sensative at times and he will clam up when I try to get a reaction out of him.

jus pick the phone and tell ur libran guy that u hv a serious doubt if u r in love with him. give him few mts to say no and reject u... and he will come back in sometime. just wait. but be straight forward and remember nothing scares a libran away than a fake face.

Message posted by: thelibran on 11/4/2006 11:01:27 AM ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.162
jus pick the phone and tell ur libran guy that u hv a serious doubt if u r in love with him. give him few mts to say no and reject u... and he will come back in sometime.

What do you mean by this?? I am confused.

Ok, I signed up just to address this situation haha.

I am a Libra male, so he and I are likely similar. And if we are, he is not likely to make his emotions known first. Keep in mind us Libra males are the Philanderers of the zodiac, so while his emotions may be deep for you, it comes out in this way. Unfortunately, you Aquarians can be a little naive to the subtle affection of the Libra, it will come across as wishy-washy like it is.

The thing about the Libra male, he needs to hear at first not how much you like him, this will scare his non-commital tendancies, but rather how much you are attracted to him and why. This may seem like ego-stroking, and well....it is and that isn't something the Aquarians do much, but it is what a Libra male needs to get the ball rolling. I have had a lot of hang ups like this with Aquarians because I can intuitively tell they are attracted to me, but they won't come out and say it, and I start to lose interrest or just let it stagnate. It's all good though, once you stoke the fire he will let it roar. Be ready for that, seriously.

*** rather how much you are attracted to him and why

hmmmm .... this is very interesting nicodemus. It is a subtle distinction between the two yet enough of a distinction that I can see the difference it could make.

Nico

I have a question, should you say you are physically attractive or you find characteristics of his personality attractive?

Please clarify when you get a chance.

Thanks!

Nico is right about stroking the ego. I am a Taurus and kinda guarded with my feelings until I know for sure how I'm feeling, so for now I'm telling the Libra things I know he wants to hear but also true things I like about him.

He speaks 4 languages fluently, has a PhD in Chemistry, and is very close to his family - all of this intriques me and I find very attractive (intelligence, compassionate, diverse)...so there hasn't been a phone call, email, or face to face conversation where I haven't mentioned something to stroke his ego.

It sets the foundation for those feelings, should they develop down the road.

I might try this on my own comitaphobe Leo.

There are things I truly admire about him but he seems to shut down when I mention liking him. He freezes so I am avoiding doing that. Perhaps an indirect compliment or two can tell him what I admire and like about him without putting the pressure on.

it's indirect pressure, LS.

is indirect pressure better than direct pressure?

I am guessing yes.

🙂

Ok guys. I spoke to my Libra. We are going to meet sometime this month. I asked him why he clams up every time I mention us meeting again, and he said he did not think he was doing that. But he jokingly said he thinks I am going to "try" something when we meet again. I assured him that I am not, but found myself laughing at how paranoid he is. What is that about?? I really wasn't thinking about trying anything, but now I am. What is that, reverse psychology?? Dang that crap works!!

We have known each other for 6-years and know each others deepest secrets, but I know he does have someone who likes him in the city where he lives and he has told me he is attracted to her. We have never had the chance to get together b/c we have both been in a relationship until recently. We are both single and it is now weird between us. I heard Libra men can't be alone for any length of time, is that true. He said it's not. But he can't seem to stay single for a minute.

I tell him all the time how great I think he is and he always tells me he loves me. I sent him a card about a month ago, that he loved, one of those juicy ones, saying basically that I love where he is in my heart and I don't want him to go anywhere. I sent him a CD a week ago with some Portishead - Dummy and Dido on it. He is a DJ, so we are both into different music. He told me he got it but has not had a chance to listen to it yet. It kind of says how I feel about him indirectly.

I told him about this web site so I hope I don't get busted. But please keep sending the advice. I need help. I really wasn't thinking about trying anything when I saw him next time, but now I am. What is that, reverse psychology?? Dang that crap works!!

Didn't mean to put that last part on there again..... OOPS!

red flags popped up...can't explain right now, but i will shortly.

Why would you tell him about this site if you didn't want him to find this post?

that is pretty transparent.

1-he lives out state and he has a girl he's told you that he's interested in.
2-he gets paranoid that you're going to try something when the two of you see each other again. if he had the same feelings as you, he'd jump at the chance of seeing you again instead of getting paranoid about what you're going to do the next time you see him.
3-you sent him a CD a week ago. I know that if someone sent me a CD (and it was someone that I liked), I would listen to it almost immediately - not wait over a week to do so.
4-you told him about this site. depending on what you told him about this site, he might get curious and check it out. even if he's not the sharpest tool in the shed, he will figure out this topic is about him because:
a) You've said you live out of state from him,
b) You have known each other for 6 years,
c) He's a DJ, and
d) You've typed his responses here.

If you don't get busted, then it will be good for you. But if he reads this topic, he will feel as if you have violated his trust in you. And trust is very hard to get back.

Well I did not tell him the exact site. But I did say it was an astrological site and that I post messages on general relationship topics. He did not seem to think much of it. But if he happens to go exploring he would realize it is him I am talking about. I don't think he will though.

So, from your responses my outlook is bleak. I have been kind of thinking I am going to put things on the back burner for a while. Let him see I am busy without him and start dating others. I just don't want him to think I am not interested in him, when he did bring up us dating the last time I saw him, but I told him I was not ready to date again. I just got cold feet, I don't know. This is all so confusing.

We are best friends so I can tell him anything and he can tell me anything. So when he tells me he likes someone, I know he is just being honest with me and I appreciate that. It's just been so long since we were both single that I don't want to let this chance go by.

I love the idea of telling him things that attract me to him, from Nicodemus.
All your ideas have been great and insightful. I am just trying to understand the Libra male, because although I know a few, I have never been able to figure them out and what works with them. As an Aquarius that bothers me. I like knowing all the answers and I feel if I analyze the situation enough I can figure it out. But this one is not going as smoothly as I see it being played out in my mind.

Thank you Depressed Angel.

You dont have to tell him excat site. I guess you did it so that in your subconcious, you want him to find this out and read things from here to avoid confronting him. 😉 Normally i do pick up on such subtle messages and go dig deeper to get more details from all possible sources. But only when i so much interested. but that can be just me and my curiosity.

Reverse psychology? - usual mind games. we keep playing in different wavelengths till something works. anyway one thing i can guarentee. You wont lose a friend. may be a lover if by any chance he is not much interested or unable to make up his mind btween you and the other girl whom he met yesterday in a traffic signal. 😉 If he is interested, then your job just got doubled. You have to wait patiently, push him slowly and get him to commit.

stop worrying. Libran wont come and scold you for this thread. he might pretend he is mad at you. But we do love others discussing about us. :d

"Normally i do pick up on such subtle messages and go dig deeper to get more details from all possible sources. But only when i so much interested. but that can be just me and my curiosity."
The Libra man pursuing me did that. When I met him, he pressed for what part of town I lived in, but I was very vague about it. He cleverly tricked me into me showing him my driver license and when I did, I covered up my address or as much as I could. He got enough of my address to be dangerous and the next day, he asked me if I lived in the west part of town, I told him maybe, then he asked if I lived near a specific street, and I said maybe....it was interesting but freaky all at once.

Ok, here's another question:

Some of you say that Libras are slow to commit, but I've read articles and other threads posted here that say that Libras crave to be in a relationship. Why the contradiction?

Because Libra is contradiction. It moves this way then that way until it can stand still in balance.

Libra cannot think white when you say black, dog when you say cat. The very nature of libra is to contradict.

LS, are you Libra, too? If so, that explains your answer.

LOL 😛

I am 5 planets baby. 5 planets of Libra. lol!

I have two: Uranus and Pluto...

I haven't made a decision of importance since 1986. lmao!

Sun, Venus, Mars, Uranus, Pluto.

lol@LS.

Hey our Pluto and Uranus are the same. If I have Libra in those houses, what does that mean?

Beats me. I don't think they are strong influencing planets. Basically everyone born in 74 has them. It is more an influence on the generation I believe.

ah ok, so we're the same age? cool.

which are the strongest influences?

eesh ... I dunno. I would say Sun, Moon, Rising, Merc, Venus, Mars.

I think the further you get away from sun the less effect. All the planets mean different things. I am not an expert though.

all i really know is that I'm a Taurus and I fit it!

but back the Libra questions.

seriously, why do they say they are slow to commit but yet they crave to be in relationships? it can't be as vague or simple as it's because Libra are walking contradictions.

Because Libra is the sign of partnerships. We are also the first outward focused sign. The first half of the zodiac is interested in self. Libra is the gateway and after Libra the rest of the zodiac is focused on other people and society in general.

Libras long for their lifemate but Libra ALSO knows that if we make this decision that means we rule out all these other options. This does not just apply to people but to all things. If I become a doctor, I can't become a banker. This is where the great indecision of Libra comes from.

Love is VERY serious to a libra. It can be a cage from which we cannot escape because we will completely turn ourselves inside out for our lovers. It is not uncommon for a Libra to completely change themselves to match those around them. If I am going to become your dream, if I am going to give you complete control over who I am, trust me I will be very careful choosing you.

Also, generally speaking, Libras do not date casually. We generally only date marriage material people.

We need to be sure because our lover is the only person who has the power to completely destroy us.

thanks, that was beautiful LS.

really that was beautiful LS. 🙂

>depressed, right now 5 of my friends were once potential lovers. the more close we are, more we were interested in each other once upon a time. and i backed up from that lover job and took up a post of friend when they failed to match my expectations or to avoid some potential problems in future. But still they match the requirements of a honest friend. and thats what they became.

>houston: when i was a teenager, i used to think am a psycho bcoz of this digging nature. I have disguised myself as a student surveyor and went into one girls office to get details about her. I have gone through almost all pages of my local telephone directory to get one name and its address of which i knew the phone number. (i didnt knew there was reverse lookup those days 😢)I have made so many fake calls to so many places to collect bits and bytes of info, build it up together and got watever i wanted. but that was when i was 19. Friends used to call me Sherlock Holmes for building up info based on theories using such tricks. ahh saying abt holmes, i always felt holmes deduct like librans and cross connect theories. anyone else had this thought?? I once saw a girl walking back to bus stop on 2 consequtive days at the same time and i deducted her appearence,timing,age ect and told my friend she does her internship with some charted accountant and later we found out it was true.

@thelibran. Yes, that is psycho. You may have had too much time on your hands or something. If I am interested in a guy, really, really interested and he is being evasive, I may try to do some snooping myself, but not to that extent.

@houstonpeach74. I was also born in 74. I know little about astrological signs, just that lately is has been dead on for me. That is what made me find this site. Trying to find answers. I have learned a lot about myself and that I am the typical Aquarius. We do think a like and we are strongly attracted to Libra's.

I avoided my libras calls for two days, b/c I am just not sure which route to take with him. Then he stated calling my cell phone and he never calls my cell. So I told him I was on my way to a party last night and he did not sound too happy about that. It told him I have to get out and start dating and meeting guys, he got quiet, then I said I had to go. We will see what happens next I guess.

>aquabrat, If it was a lie, he would have felt it as a lie and might have started wondering why you tried to avoid him. He is gonna overthink and spoil his few hours on it. and about dating and meeting other guys will make him stay away for a while. He got put new parameters and re-balance himself. Its going to be a painfull process. But why did you did that? I remember you mentioning somewhere in this post that you do like him. If its about the route, all librans lead to a final destination of marriage. Thats ultimate goal. I know few may disagree with this, but thats something librans are meant for.

this might be of slight help. 😉
AQUARIUS AND LIBRA COMPATIBILITY

Librans stimulate you mentally- encourage you to travel, to broaden your horizons. The combination of the Aquarius- Uranus and the Libra-Venus spell out creative adventure, satisfaction, fulfillment, and attraction. The two signs -Libra and Aquarius -are favorably aspected. Libra touches that part of your Solar horoscope associated with the higher mind, philosophy, publishing and long journeys, including journeys of the mind Libra encourages you to put your knowledge to use. With Libra you'll be active, your mind won't grind to a halt, you'll investigate, learn, expand, here is a basic attraction here. There are numerous indications of benefit from an association between you and Libra.


Libra helps you form decisions, helps strengthen your convictions, helps make you aware of your conscience, of moral duties. In short, Libra highlights your sense of justice. You are a natural humanitarian, and justice, especially social justice, means much to you. Thus, Libra would mean much to you. Libra gains your respect, sparks your ideals. You feel tenderly toward Libra -you need a Libra, you'll gain from Libra. On the negative side, Libra could encourage you to over- analyze and procrastinate. On the positive side, Libra urges you to put ideas and ideals to work, to write, publish, and advertise. I would' say the relationship would be a good one- l' d encourage it. There can be definite gain. Your wonderful creative sense is awakened by Libra; your sense of the future is crystallized. What was a dream can become a reality with the aid of Libra.

Libran, where did you get that compatibility summary? I'd like to see what it says about Taurus.

http://kamalkapoor.com/compatibility/sunsigns.asp
some indian guys site. I liked the gemini-libra line "We should repeat, perhaps; if you don't intend to get involved, don't start with Libra in the first place." which made me read the rest of the stuff.

Wow thats nice to hear about Libra and Aquarius...now what does aquarius do for libra?

My libra refuses to tell me how he feels, BUT wants compliments about him doled out all the time...he always wants me to tell him what I like about him, why I like him, etc....not much an ego stroker as an aqua and all, BUT I do obliged on occassion.

"We should repeat, perhaps; if you don't intend to get involved, don't start with Libra in the first place."
Thats wierd as an air sign...this statement doesnt imply keeping it light and fun...infact it makes me hesitate a little. It also doesnt go with the libra and player theme. 🙂

BTW, Ive been doing the detective work lately on Mr Libra...stalkerish...YES, I KNOW. 😛

LIBRA AND AQUARIUS COMPATIBILITY

You are physically attracted to Aquarius; there is a dynamic element here. Aquarius affects your fifth Solar house; that part of your of your chart connected with creativity, children, speculation and romance. The Uranus of Aquarius blends with your Venus to provide excitement, the suddenness of discovery. Libra and Aquarius are favorably aspected; the chances for success are great. The attraction cannot be denied. There is a desire to be one. The key is that you like each other. Listen, Libra: with Aquarius, there could be romance which ultimately leads to love and children. Emotions run deep. This is not a relationship to be taken lightly. With Aquarius, you are inventive. You try new things and you try to please. There is greater independence of thought, action; there are pioneering activities. Aquarius aids you in becoming a self-starter. In short, Aquarius can be an inspiration because Aquarius helps you come alive. With Aquarius, there is change, travel and an abundance of variety. Life is spiced, and you emerge from any emotional shell.

But the game is fast-paced, and you must not make yourself too vulnerable. In short, you could be hurt because Aquarius touches you where the heart is, where the emotions are, where you care and where you respond. Give of yourself without throwing yourself away. Be vulnerable to the extent that you give freely in an exchange. But do not, be vulnerable where you do all of the giving and receive nothing in return. Promises are fine, but something of a more solid nature is required. Know this, Libra, and take a mature view of your relationship with Aquarius. For mutual creative endeavors-Libra and Aquarius fit like a glove. But for details and routine, the glove may be the wrong size, unless both of you are mature.

WOAH!, we are really intense on libra it seems...interesting.

*** In short, you could be hurt because Aquarius touches you where the heart is, where the emotions are, where you care and where you respond. Give of yourself without throwing yourself away. Be vulnerable to the extent that you give freely in an exchange. But do not, be vulnerable where you do all of the giving and receive nothing in return.

Pretty much.

My first love was an Aqua. That relationship gutted me. I was a wreck for YEARS after. He pretty much emptied my emotional bank. He just took, took, took. He stalked me for a long time after as well. I think he got off on all the power I gave him.

I think it was just a lot of intensity when you are so young and pure. It was a VERY hard relationship especially in the end. It almost finished me off.

It is also why I doubt I will ever date another Aqua. Just in case. I could NEVER go through all of that again.

Im sorry to hear that LS, but it did state that both libra and aqua have to be mature...im sure if the opportunity arises again someday you wont let a sun sign determine your outlook before even giving the person a chance.

And it maybe a bit different in my situation...being that im the female, him the male, and much older than me.....we shall see.

*** you wont let a sun sign determine your outlook before even giving the person a chance.

Won't I? I wouldn't bet against me. lol!

Yes. In your case, it might be different. Him being the Libra and you being the Aqua.

The power might be more balanced with this combo.

🙂

or maybe ... I just dated a freak. lol! But I know a lot of girls who have dated aqua men they all seemed to be sadistic.