Is it a Game?

I would love to get some feedback on this question I have. I have had a close relationship with a libra for a long time and just when I think I have figured out where I stand,it becomes a whole different relationship. I sometimes wonder if this person realizes the kind of confusion that he causes and if maybe this is part of a mind game. One day friends, one day friends and more, one day "ooops forgot to call for two months, sorry about that 😢
I wonder if this person will ever make up his mind.

Ummmmmm...welcome to the roller coaster ride!!!

I've just ended a r/ship just like the one you are describing Cancer.....Im not sure whether they really know that we are left in such turmoil by their aloofness....then when you sit them down and really want to talk about a possible future (and I mean 10 months is a long time in anybodys life to do it THEIR way, so it should be easy but nah LOL), he acted so naive and ummmmm...here it comes..."i had no idea you felt that way".

Dont take it personally....this is the way they are by going from all the posts and all the stories re: Librans on here....of course they aren't all the same and apparently they KNOW who they love within moments of meeting....I've personally been banging my head against the wall...but still love him to bits and we are really good friends still...that's the best part coz I'd hate to lose that and of course there's always the chance there could be more one day but who knows - that's the beauty of life.

One huge piece of advice for you though......GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE and let him fit YOUR schedule...be aloof, go and have fun, he'll come calling once you've been gone for a while.....he'll start to miss you - don't be so available....it works wonders 🙂 There's a reason he does want to see you so don't dismiss that but don't hang on for him to call everyday as time totally gets away from them and of course they are so busy all the time...trust me, he's not going to worry about why you havent been calling him. Don't contact him, let him do the chasing and he will - you know it, you seem to have sussed out the cycle pretty well.

Good luck with that 🙂

Many times in past whenever I have met a cancer girl, their childishness triggered some calculations in my head. It went straight to work to find out if its possible/workable or not. And yea I liked them in the beginning.. But soon it all started becoming a more frustrating set of situations and I found that cancer childishness is not backed by any strong intellectual undercurrents. Which was a turn off.

Libra + Cancer = A bad match.

Cancer,

Why wait for him to make up his mind?! Make up your mind.

Cancers and Libras are a bad match because neither feels safe pouring their feelings out. I would venture to guess you are not as forthcoming as you wish your libra was, not because you don't care, it's just that these things are sometimes very hard to say.

Libras collect admirers, even if we don't feel a lot of chemistry with someone and they seem to think the world of us, it is likely our interest will remain with them. If you feel this is what's happening to you then, yes, he knows what confusion it's causing. I'm sure that fact also causes him distress (we hate conflict!). You need to lay a line down for your libra, tell him how you feel, how you wish he felt, and he will be honest and very forthcoming to you. You may not get the answer you want, and will probably hear him tell you he hopes you can stay friends. If you can't or don't like that prospect, get out. Good luck!

Hi all,

I'm new to the boards and appreciate the feedback..........

I may be a moody person at times, but childishness is not a word that would describe me as a person. I think in regard to my libra friend, I've been clear on what I want and have expressed that to him many times.

Rollercoaster ride is a great way to describe the situation🙂,The excitement and fun have been worth it at times but eventually you want to know where you stand.

Clearly I have become too accomodating in my situation.
I think I will take your advice about stepping back and stopping the chase, I have noticed that in the past he has not been able to accept me walking away completely. We agree on friendship only, and he decides its not enough, we decide on more than friends and then he decides he needs the freedom to be rude and selfserving.I would love to know that he will miss me, but at this point I can't be sure he will. I guess its something that time will tell.

A muse a Libra,

Believe it or not I have been so direct that I actually shock myself.Not from the start, but the more our friendship grew the more at ease I was.
In the beginning I noticed he would like the idea that I felt I could not be as direct because he it was easier for him to have confrontation about issues. As the time passed he really enjoyed having me in his life, and said that to me many times.

I think I have made it so ok for him to go back and forth that any time I have become upset he retreats and acts like "what did I do wrong?" thats my responsibility I guess for allowing this. You are so right about the hearing to stay friends part,I have heard that quite a few times. I have accepted that and tried to be JUST that.
Sometimes I feel he would like me to move on, but when he sees me attempting it he starts this whole ride all over again. He knows I am crazy about him, so its never that hard for him.
We may be chatting away without any romantic or flirty type of converstions going on and he will do a 360 on me and start to discuss how much he loved what I was wearing, or he'll start to flirt like I am this new person in his life, and give me compliments which lead to him wanting to know if we could go back to more......
Anyway.... time will tell 😉

"was easier for him to have confrontation about issues"

meant to say easier for him to NOT have confrontation about issues...

Cancer,

I am sure that he will miss you. The fact that "...in the past he has not been able to accept me walking away completely." says it all, to me. He wants to keep you around, beacuase he is not sure what he wants, meanwhile you're the one going up and down the rollercaoster. Pull away completely from the relationship if it is causing you heartache, it's not worth it. Give truth a chance to manifest itself. Everyobody's free to feel good.

Zlatina,

Thanks 🙂
....so damn hard to be in involved this situation
If only he wasn't so gorgeous, were talking one deliscious man !!!!lol
No contact from him in days since I wrote a goodbye a few days ago.
I would love to hear from him, but I am holding my ground and hope its for the best.
let me fill you in on what has occured recently,early June we decided to remain friends, I wished him a great summer and he the same, by mid june he was back to telling he loved how I looked... so I said to myself, ok here we go again, after listening to him whine about how he was having a hard time at work and in other areas of his life for months, I honestly was ready for a vacation from his ups and downs. Nothing happened between us that month, we left it at have a great summer see you when you get back,but will be in touch through text and email which is our norm. As July passed I became infuriated at not hearing from him, and when I finally did there was no "I missed you, no apologies for being so cold.... I told him " nice to know where you hold me on your list of priorities... at the bottom!!! " no response from him, days passed and when he sees me online he tries to open a convo with no regard to any of my issues, so I bring it up and he gives me this pathetic " this summer was my best summer, I focused on myself" and I was like :O OMG !!!! I can't be hearing this....
so I ended our chat politely, and wrote and sent him an email saying how glad I was that he had the time to think of himself, and that I was glad that he moved on and that if he had met someone else, goodluck with her and my best wishes. I went on to say we had great times together, and that I am glad he ended things because it was best for both of us. I have never sent him an email ending us permanently, there have been angry emails, but there was never a permanent tone to them. I think I may have ended it.... it was not what I really wanted but... time will tell 🙂

Cancer,

As we all know, looks don't last. True beauty is deep within: the way one treats the other, that's beauty to me. He is playing around, in my opinion, because he knows he will alsways have you the minute he calls you. He knows how attracted you are to him and that's how he controls you and your emotions. You need/have to focus on yourself. Ask yoursefl "Where is this going?", do you see yourself with him in the future? Listen to your heart.

Hugs 🙂

I totally agree with Zlatina 🙂

yep, looks don't last. that's why i change girls daily 😉

Cancer, Chatz is right on. Read her post over and over again until it sinks in. ALOOF is an understatement and you will definitely feel you are VERY low on Libra's priority list even if you're now in their minds. And ALL of Libran are beautiful / gorgeous---so don't let that throw you. They will drive you NUTZ, cuz that's the way they're wired.

*even if you're not in their minds.

***I honestly was ready for a vacation from his ups and downs. Nothing happened between us that month, we left it at have a great summer see you when you get back***

***As July passed I became infuriated at not hearing from him, and when I finally did there was no "I missed you, no apologies for being so cold.... I told him " nice to know where you hold me on your list of priorities... at the bottom!!! " no response from him, days passed and when he sees me online he tries to open a convo with no regard to any of my issues, so I bring it up and he gives me this pathetic " this summer was my best summer, I focused on myself" and I was like :O OMG !!!! I can't be hearing this***

Cancer, you have to make a choice, to walk away. You are saying the two of you left it at have a good summer and to be just friends and a month later you are furious that he hasn't contact you and that he was focusing on himself?

Sounds like he isn't ready or not interested in anything more that has been going on with the two of you. If you want more. Walk away and find someone who is willing to give that to you.

We cannot forget that although Librans do play games sometimes, they are generally nice, very coordial and charming. THEY LOVE, most people in their lives, just not "in love" with everyone. If they are "in love" with you, they will tell you.

They are also capable of having unattached, relationships - all the while, they will be polite, nice and do favors for you, be there for advice, moral support etc. This is what confuses most that they admire and love, but not "in love with" and in some cases, this is what confuses those they are "in love with" as it relates to those they love:

In my experience, I have heard libra men say their girlfriends get jealous, because they have female friends and they way they are with their friends, can make a significant other suspicious (but they try to be fair and caring to all who they care about). In retrospect, the FWB or friends only can take this kindness to mean more than it does.

You have to really know the Libra man to know this and differenciate the two. Because of the way they are, you can't help but love to be around them.

Cancer, I have to agree with Wysdom... You are telling him one thing and acting out in another way... This not only confuses him, but he is probably thinking you are a little wacko... Say what you mean and mean what you say, whichever way it is. If you want an honest response, which as of now looks like he doesn't want or isn't willing to give you a real relationship.

I think that you are the one sending mix messages. I am a Libra and I know that I have to feel safe in order to express my emotions. If I feel like the person is a little "unbalanced" with how they feel...I run away really fast. I hate when I can't figure people out. I will stay for a little while because the challenge is interesting at first. After awhile though....I am bored with the roller coaster ride. Believe me when I say...I know exactly how you feel. But from a Libra's prespective, maybe you are just not a sure thing. (Just guessing!)

I also feel that the minute you get what it is you want...you won't be interested in him. You probably love the challenge as well.

absolutely....make a decision and stick with it....there's nothing like somebody being wishy washy. If you want more and he doesnt? accept that or tell him you cannot be in a r/ship with him based on his wants alone and walk away. He will either chase you in time or he'll let you walk - you will THEN have your answer.

Chilling out is not a bad passtime actually 🙂

There you have it!

Hi,

I have been telling him one thing and acting a different way because I felt it was the only way to communicate with him without arguing. I just want to say that be it freindship only or more than friends is not what I want. This is how it had to be, I would have loved to be more than friends continuously, but thats not what he has wanted.
rather than lose him completely I accepted that which i see now has not helped at all.
I have always felt like I had been clear on all aspects of my feelings towards him.
the summer was a slap on the face for me, I never not have time for him.Yet he does as he [pleases and I know this is who he is and its my problem that I have accepted this.

It is over between us, I know this for a fact. Last week he sent me a picture of himself and a girl he met while he was away. My gut told me that he honestly did not send me that picture to hurt me, to him it was just a normal thing.He saw nothing wrong with that, all I could do is say ... goodluck .... 😢
He never responded to my last email in terms of what I said. I think that email made it easy for him to finally walk away, I made an assumption that was true, he was in fact busy with "other people" and just could not contact me to tell me. I think I gave him the freedom he wanted. Now he is finally happy and I have never been so angry in my life.
But I deserve this for being a complete fool. The worst part of this for me is that I will be running into him at work occasionally, and I would rather put needles in my eyes (or his) hahaha....
Thanks for the positive advice... hope you are all doing better than me !!!!!

***This is how it had to be, I would have loved to be more than friends continuously, but thats not what he has wanted. Rather than lose him completely I accepted that.***

***Last week he sent me a picture of himself and a girl he met while he was away. My gut told me that he honestly did not send me that picture to hurt me, to him it was just a normal thing.He saw nothing wrong with that, all I could do is say ... goodluck .... ***

See you really haven't accepted it. He is telling you and showing you that he doesn't want more with you and you clearly do. If you would just tell him what you honestly expected he probably would have told you a long time ago that he didn't want anything more than what you already have.

Yes, it is a game. You're clearly using emotionally manipulative tactics, and attempting to confuse him as well, what's the point in knowing that he misses you? Isn't the point to end up, having him w/ you, and not off somewhere thinking about you?

Wysdum,
This is not true.
I love him, I am hurt and devastated....
the point in knowing that he misses me ( which I now know he does not) is a validation that there was something real between us and that I did not just spend all this time on a person who I gave so much to for absolutely nothing... when I had him as a friend I could at least feel good about good times together....now I have nothing

Queenscorpio~ I don't know.... your right, but how can a person make clean break with a person they love if that other person keeps wanting more... it has not been easy...

I really feel like I have been used, he wanted me as a friend, but he also liked knowing he could have me... its that simple and that pathetic...

Obviously its a rude awakening....
Anyway, can you recommend a site where I can learn more about my chart, moon, and all things CANCER 🙂 I just want to bury myself in anything but thinking about him and how happy he is...

***Queenscorpio~ I don't know.... your right, but how can a person make clean break with a person they love if that other person keeps wanting more... it has not been easy...***

Has he ever told you he loved you, probably so. Has he ever told you he was in love with you, included you in future plans etc? Probably not. There is a huge difference. Being a water sign myself, I can understand the emotional, intensity of feeling and love, however with all the fire and air in my chart, I can also understand the element of facts and logic. Not to mention the years of experience with the Libra male I have had. It is never easy. You can't read into more than what it is with these guys, their kindness and charm can make you feel in a way that you want them to feel about you and they just don't. They can still be polite and even love you, just not in love with you. Huge difference.

I really feel like I have been used, he wanted me as a friend, but he also liked knowing he could have me... its that simple and that pathetic...

In actuality you haven't been used. He really hasn't done anything wrong to you. You interperated what the two of you have/had to be more than what it was. It can be easily done with a person who is so charming and considerate to all they know. You would have to really understand the Libran male (which takes years of trial and error sometimes)to know them.

They hate conflict and like to be liked (which is so easy to do)and they don't like hurting others feelings. They like keeping their options open as well. So all those things are just natural for him. Yeah, he probably knew you would be there no matter what and sometimes you can't be there, for them to reinterest themselves in you. If they care about you at all.

Astro.com - I think... LS, Nic am I right? Is this the sign thing?