Just received a text

from my partners ex referring to child support payments. He stopped paying about 6 months ago as he had allowed her to have everything from their 11 year marriage walking out with only his clothes on his back and then continued to pay through the nose on their mortgage even though she moved her new man in within a month after he left. He has told her to go through the correct authorities as he has no problem paying for his kids but she is wanting the private agreement they once shared which is more than twice the amount!!!

So the thing is, she can't get any response out of him...so she sends the text to both of us...

hahahaha if only she realised that if I had my way she'd be selling that house and valuing everything and splitting it fair and square or paying him out!

BUT it's his call and although I have voiced my opinion to him personally I know that he will handle it his way...and it's his business not mine. Until she starts to hold the children back from their fortnightly visits. I know I won't be able to shut up then!!

Just me releasing....

Some woman really need a good KICK in the rear end, they are greedy greedy greedy and they have no bones about using their own children to hurt the other parent because they can't get their own way!!!!

Grrrrrrrrr God I was such an awesome dream ex lol

Do you know her side of the story. I'd consider myself the awesome dream ex too 🙂 and in fact have been told by those who know both of us that I am - but I have also heard what my ex says to people whom we don't mutually know - and his stories about me are untrue so yes, they would think I was a money grabbing biatch also. but i'm not 🙂

Its not up to her to go through the authorities if she chooses not too - he can though. So maybe he should take the bull by the horns. I've found it best not to offer my opinion on other peoples children where breakups are concerned - and she shouldn't be involving you by texting you, this is between him and her and they need to sort it out and find the middle ground, unfortunately for some this means taking it legal.

But I suppose if you need to release then here is a good place 🙂 And you are so right, some people in break ups need a good kicking - men as well as women use the children to hurt the other parent, my ex does anyway, but he's only hurting them.

Yes I only have his side. He forwards me all her texts and they are always holding the kids over his head if he doesn't do as she is told. The kids have even rang and said daddy just pay and we can come stay with you again.

You see the children have the best time with us, they always want to stay longer, we spend time with them at the pool at the beach and playing with them. We don't throw money at them as she and her partner buy every latest thing out. They have all the computers, camera's iPods, pets, you name it but come school holidays...they are left at home alone and sometimes for 10 hour days and with a pool when staying with her. Don't get me started there because it infuriates me that at 12 and 9 they are allowed to swim unattended and I am wanting to ring the authorities and dob her in!!!

We had them for 3 weeks over Christmas and had the best time. She had them also for the same period and 1 of those weeks they were left alone!

Anyway back to why he won't go for his fair share...I really don't understand, I think it's because of how they split. He was played for a fool and I think that he also thinks that he is leaving it for the children. When he left, he knew there was someone else. She had done it once before and then she moved this guy into their home within a month, into their bed and all!!! I think his pride is injured and most normal people would get mad...however he is Libra and all he wants to do is forget and let karma take it's course, but that isn't easy as she wants more and more.

If she keeps including me and she has insisted by sending me another lengthy text last night...she will be sorry I can guarantee that. I will push for him to take the legal road as she has said again until he starts paying he can't have the kids anymore!!!

Oh and he has tried going through the authorities and she has to lodge a request, til then they won't do anything. I might rind them and find out how much he does have to pay and then get him to deposit that amount each week...there's always more than one way to skin a cat!

Posted by sweethearts
You see the children have the best time with us, they always want to stay longer, we spend time with them at the pool at the beach and playing with them. We don't throw money at them as she and her partner buy every latest thing out. They have all the computers, camera's iPods, pets, you name it but come school holidays...they are left at home alone and sometimes for 10 hour days and with a pool when staying with her. Don't get me started there because it infuriates me that at 12 and 9 they are allowed to swim unattended and I am wanting to ring the authorities and dob her in!!!

We had them for 3 weeks over Christmas and had the best time. She had them also for the same period and 1 of those weeks they were left alone!

This is what they will remember. You don't need to do anymore, take the high road and let her go on her merry way, they children will absolutely remember and appreciate all of this when they are grown, much as they are loving it now. She will dig her own grave of a relationship with them. But if you get involved in encouraging anything between your man and his ex she will tell them, and they will remember her version of events too - you don't want that to happen. Grit your teeth and keep smiling and showing these lovely kids the wonderful family life that you are giving them, it will nourish them through.

If she keeps including me and she has insisted by sending me another lengthy text last night...she will be sorry I can guarantee that.

This is what she wants, don't let her win and don't reply to her texts, let him reply to her and make it clear you are not going to be dragged into it. She's playing games with you, don't let her. If you get involved you could end up losing your man through this, as it could get too difficult for both of you. She'd love that I'd say.

Can he not go to court and get all access made legal. Here in Ireland access and child maintenance are two separate issues, as in the childs right to have access to the other parent is first and foremost, regardless of any maintenance agreements in/not in place. So men (as its usually the mother the children live with) can take the mother to court and get access to their children without money being taken into account. That is a whole other court day and is a separate issue.

where did all those underlines come from 🙂

wow...that's a pretty crap mother!! to get her kids to call him like that—

i don't have the best relationship with my ex husband but it's important to me that my kids have a good relationship with them. it's not in my interests to tell them how much of a jerk he is or to get them to do my negotiating for me. it's not quite the same from the other party who chooses to play dirty on occasion but like has already been said....kids make their own minds up at the end of the day although some times it takes years for that to happen.

marriages failing when there are kids involves sucks enough without for them without making it worse by being greedy and vindictive!!

i also think it sends out a terrible message to kids about love relationships. perhaps it may even prevent them from getting into one themselves for fear of the hate filled ending!!

you may have to wait until the kids are old enough not to require maintenance before this is over. i feel bad for you and your man. must be hard.

I wouldn't reply to any texts, I am fully aware that she thinks he is living the high life and she is paying and that eats her up! And I understand that this is for him to battle it out. I will however back him up on whatever he choses to do even if I don't like it. I personally think he should not lie down anymore and fight her, her way!

The last time she pulled this stunt he went to a solicitor and had the papers of shared care drawn up and she gave him access however, if she decides that he can't have them what can he do?? Go back to the solicitor, she can and will play those silly games that's why I think he should go for the jugular or threaten to take his share of everything and then I'm sure she will back down!!

Her next trick which I think has him frozen is that although he cared and loves the oldest likes his own, and has raised him from near birth. He is NOT the biological father. The biological father has nothing to do with the boy and you would never know my partner wasn't his father. She could stop him having ANY access to him, and tbh I wouldn't put it past her!!!

I fully understand that the kids will know, I've seen it with my own but we don't want to miss out on them growing up. As it is we only get them 2 days out of 14 and then half time in the holidays. She doesn't even allow us to pick them up mid week to take them out to dinner!

Posted by sweethearts

The last time she pulled this stunt he went to a solicitor and had the papers of shared care drawn up and she gave him access however, if she decides that he can't have them what can he do?? Go back to the solicitor, she can and will play those silly games that's why I think he should go for the jugular or threaten to take his share of everything and then I'm sure she will back down!!

If he takes her to court then its a court order, if she breaks it he can take her back to court because of this. So yes she can decide that he can't have them, but the court order overrides her decision.

Posted by sweethearts
Her next trick which I think has him frozen is that although he cared and loves the oldest likes his own, and has raised him from near birth. He is NOT the biological father. The biological father has nothing to do with the boy and you would never know my partner wasn't his father. She could stop him having ANY access to him, and tbh I wouldn't put it past her!!!

He's a good man. Speaking only on the Irish system, usually in cases like this the man is also granted access to the children they have helped raise but which are not biologically theirs - however they must fight for this in the first place.

Yes he is a good man. He has included the son in the parenting plan and we have him legally for visitation. Yesterday he texted her and agreed to paying a figure weekly. She changed her tune very fast...until the next time!

I'm not overly fussed with his decision but it's his to make and at the end of the day we get the kids without problem. But when they come of age they will be told that they can move in with him...then it will be their decision and I know the boy will want to come...wonder how that will go!

Thanks everyone, really needed to release.

Glad things are sorted out for now. I'd assumed that they already had an agreed figure for child maintenance in place and she was just looking for more, if they hadn't it is good that they now have as that is how it should be, you can move forward from this point.

This chick is a money grabbing hoe, she already has 2 children to 2 different fathers and has broken up her new partners marriage with his 2 babies under 4 and most likely will have a baby to him too!

I have no time for her whatsoever and it annoys me that she has the audacity to text me thinking that I will take her side against my own partner.

I'd love to be around to see her get her comeuppance!!

But yes, most importantly we get the children still and yes she's just gold digging as she can see what I have and thinks that now he can afford to pay out more!