Libra is confusing

I'm in love with a Libra, and he knows, because I told him. We live together and have for six months. We spend most of our time together. Is it okay to let him know my heart is breaking because he hasn't voiced feeling the same? He hasn't ever said anything either way about his feelings. He never talks about other girls. So I know he doesn't want to hurt me but I don't know if it's because he is just a nice person or because he cares. It's confusing because he isn't going anywhere. He isn't pushing me out. When I told him I loved him it was over text and he never responded but he came home right away, cancelled plans with a friend and spent hours playing video games with me.

How much emotion can be handle? Should I portion out that I feel fragile and broken? Or put it all out there? I'm a very happy person so when we interact I'm always smiles and positive. I never get upset i just find the humor and laugh at any given situation. My sad emotion only comes out over text so it can't be that overwhelming. It's just important to me to be honest.

I want to make sure to give him space to think through whatever he needs but at the same time stay honest and true to myself.

Help?

are you together? or is he just a flatmate?

We aren't together. Neither of us have dated anyone in over a year. He moved in with me by his choice, we became friends and he was at my house every day, I made a joke about him living with me and then he officially was.

Posted by blackphase
Well he didn't leave when you confessed your love.. he dropped everything and came home to spend time with you. Maybe he is uncomfortable expressing his emotions or isn't quite sure what they mean to properly express them at this point.

I can see that being the case. I do get the feeling he is confused a lot of the time. That's why I'm trying to figure out how much emotion I should express. I want him to have the space to think through his confusion.

do he know you mean you love him in the romantic sense or does he think is it just as friends?

Oh he knows it's romantic! I wrote him a book. Well, like 1500 words. So not a book but I told him all about how I feel and how it's hard for me to live with him as just a friend.

I'm not sure. I looked up my astrology chart. It said this:

Rising sign is 12 degrees Pisces
Sun is in 02 degrees Cancer
Moon is in 11 degrees Leo
Mercury is in 10 degrees Gemini
Venus is in 28 degrees Taurus
Mars is in 10 degrees Libra
Jupiter is in 00 degrees Scorpio
Saturn is in 15 degrees Libra
Uranus is in 01 degrees Sagittarius
Neptune is in 25 degrees Sagittarius
Pluto is in 24 degrees Libra
N. Node is 13 degrees Cancer

Posted by jeane
do he know you mean you love him in the romantic sense or does he think is it just as friends?

Actually I've told him more than once. I think he's really confused by what he wants. He didn't plan on liking me. It doesn't fit his logic. I feel like he does though or he would have left a long time ago. He has friends and options of places to stay. Heck he left somewhere where he was getting paid to live (grandma paying him to help around the house) to live with me.

Venus in Taurus is good, Mars in Libra is good - Jupiter in Scorpio good - Pluto in Libra good

for the Pisces dreamer the Libra might need more time to know - to make sure - you are both young no~ ... be patient and concentrate on making a good life for yourself and be true

Posted by blackphase

Posted by Inloveagain24

Posted by jeane
do he know you mean you love him in the romantic sense or does he think is it just as friends?

Actually I've told him more than once. I think he's really confused by what he wants. He didn't plan on liking me. It doesn't fit his logic. I feel like he does though or he would have left a long time ago. He has friends and options of places to stay. Heck he left somewhere where he was getting paid to live (grandma paying him to help around the house) to live with me.

It can take them a long time to decided and make up their minds. It's actually a really good thing that he is taking his time though. That's a mature move on his part. Many Libras tend to dive in head first without knowing what they really want and end up hurting people along the way. It's good that he is feeling this out to avoid hurting your feelings by making a quick decision.

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He has definitely done that a lot! I think this is the first time he has taken this much time to think anything through. I know this is the first time he's been single this long. But I think he's able to go without a 'relationship' partly because we basically have one. We spend all our time together, make meals together, or I cook. I do all the basic cleaning and he makes sure my kids clean their room, he is so much better at getting them to listen than I am. Right now my kids have a bedroom, he has a bedroom and I sleep on the couch in the living room but we share the closet in his room and all of our TVs and game systems are in his room, pretty much its only his room when he actually goes to sleep. So he never has to actually feel alone.

Posted by blackphase

Posted by Inloveagain24

Posted by blackphase

Posted by Inloveagain24

Posted by jeane
do he know you mean you love him in the romantic sense or does he think is it just as friends?

Actually I've told him more than once. I think he's really confused by what he wants. He didn't plan on liking me. It doesn't fit his logic. I feel like he does though or he would have left a long time ago. He has friends and options of places to stay. Heck he left somewhere where he was getting paid to live (grandma paying him to help around the house) to live with me.

It can take them a long time to decided and make up their minds. It's actually a really good thing that he is taking his time though. That's a mature move on his part. Many Libras tend to dive in head first without knowing what they really want and end up hurting people along the way. It's good that he is feeling this out to avoid hurting your feelings by making a quick decision.

He has definitely done that a lot! I think this is the first time he has taken this much time to think anything through. I know this is the first time he's been single this long. But I think he's able to go without a 'relationship' partly because we basically have one. We spend all our time together, make meals together, or I cook. I do all the basic cleaning and he makes sure my kids clean their room, he is so much better at getting them to listen than I am. Right now my kids have a bedroom, he has a bedroom and I sleep on the cch in the living room but we share the closet in his room and all of our TVs and game systems are in his room, pretty much its only his room when he actually goes to sleep. So he never has to actually feel alone.

I didn't realize that you had children that lived with you as well. I'd say he is seriously thinking about this as he does not want to disrupt your family. Just be patient 🙂

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Yep. He tells then he loves them, he parents them, he buys them clothes and games, he takes time to do things like cook with them. He'll give them lectures on listening to me, and tell them ask about why they should respect me and how much I love them. He has them home with him whenever schedules allow (work/school).

i'm still not convinced he sees it as a romantic attachment. has he done anything to indicate this is more than a friendship for him?

Posted by blackphase

Posted by jeane
i'm still not convinced he sees it as a romantic attachment. has he done anything to indicate this is more than a friendship for him?

Do you think he would move in, father her children and tell them he loves them if there were no feelings for OP?

I thought that was a clear sign.. but maybe not. You're the Libra, you tell us 😛

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i thought he moved in and then she developed feelings? wasn't it platonic when he moved in? i mean it is still platonic now.

i think fathering her children is the wrong interpretation. he lives with them. of course he is going to tell them to respect their mother, make them something to eat and that he loves them. no doubt he does care for them, it still doesn't mean he wants to hook up with their mother though.

unless he takes her out, buys her things, speaks about his growing feelings for her, touches her, flirts with her? this may be the case and we haven't heard it yet but so far it sounds like it is a lot of guesswork on her part and him just being nice.

Posted by blackphase

Posted by jeane

Posted by blackphase

Posted by jeane
i'm still not convinced he sees it as a romantic attachment. has he done anything to indicate this is more than a friendship for him?

Do you think he would move in, father her children and tell them he loves them if there were no feelings for OP?

I thought that was a clear sign.. but maybe not. You're the Libra, you tell us 😛

i thought he moved in and then he developed feelings? wasn't it platonic when he moved in? i mean it is still platonic now.

i think fathering her children is the wrong interpretation. he lives with them. of course he is going to tell them to respect their mother, make them something to eat and that he loves them. no doubt he does care for them, it still doesn't mean he wants to hook up with their mother though.

unless he takes her out, buys her things, speaks about his growing feelings for her, touches her, flirts with her? this may be the case and we haven't heard it yet but so far it sounds like it is a lot of guesswork on her part and him just being nice.

I just wouldn't have thought a man would put that much effort into someone elses kids if he only saw it as a strictly platonic situation. But I really don't know.

I know a few of my friends who date women with children and are careful about how they act with the mother in front of her children becasue they don't want the kids to think they are a permanent fixture and let them down until they are sure that is where they intend to be and stay. It's a mature move if that is in fact what is happening. It can be hard on kids to get attached only to have that person leave. At least now he is not seen as someone who is sleeping in the same room with the mother, making him look more permanent in their lives.

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culture differences maybe? where is op from?

Posted by jeane

Posted by blackphase

Posted by jeane
i'm still not convinced he sees it as a romantic attachment. has he done anything to indicate this is more than a friendship for him?

Do you think he would move in, father her children and tell them he loves them if there were no feelings for OP?

I thought that was a clear sign.. but maybe not. You're the Libra, you tell us 😛

i thought he moved in and then she developed feelings? wasn't it platonic when he moved in? i mean it is still platonic now.

i think fathering her children is the wrong interpretation. he lives with them. of course he is going to tell them to respect their mother, make them something to eat and that he loves them. no doubt he does care for them, it still doesn't mean he wants to hook up with their mother though.

unless he takes her out, buys her things, speaks about his growing feelings for her, touches her, flirts with her? this may be the case and we haven't heard it yet but so far it sounds like it is a lot of guesswork on her part and him just being nice.

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Thanks Libra for providing this input. The last two guys I dated were Libra and now it all makes sense. Pay attention to actions not words. Interesting.

Posted by Inloveagain24
I'm not sure. I looked up my astrology chart. It said this:

Rising sign is 12 degrees Pisces
Sun is in 02 degrees Cancer
Moon is in 11 degrees Leo
Mercury is in 10 degrees Gemini
Venus is in 28 degrees Taurus
Mars is in 10 degrees Libra
Jupiter is in 00 degrees Scorpio
Saturn is in 15 degrees Libra
Uranus is in 01 degrees Sagittarius
Neptune is in 25 degrees Sagittarius
Pluto is in 24 degrees Libra
N. Node is 13 degrees Cancer

Ur a sun cancer venus taurus. Personally im ok i dont need constant validation but at times we need that otherwise we feel insecure and doubt. I think year is long time to not have someone say anything at all. It confuses things i know how u feel just communciate your wants and needs.

Thats any sign pay attn to actions over words

I'm just going to keep waiting it out. I definitely try to go off actions but it for sure has been a long time. I think he just needs even more time to figure it out. I never push so I'm sure I'm not helping. But that's just who I am. My friends tell me to make him jealous but that isn't me! I can't fake interest in another guy. And I'm not the type to do anything out of hurt.

Posted by Inloveagain24
I'm just going to keep waiting it out. I definitely try to go off actions but it for sure has been a long time. I think he just needs even more time to figure it out. I never push so I'm sure I'm not helping. But that's just who I am. My friends tell me to make him jealous but that isn't me! I can't fake interest in another guy. And I'm not the type to do anything out of hurt.

"no action" is action.

Posted by jeane

Posted by Inloveagain24
I'm just going to keep waiting it out. I definitely try to go off actions but it for sure has been a long time. I think he just needs even more time to figure it out. I never push so I'm sure I'm not helping. But that's just who I am. My friends tell me to make him jealous but that isn't me! I can't fake interest in another guy. And I'm not the type to do anything out of hurt.

"no action" is action.

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That's true too. Maybe he isn't being super indecisive maybe he is just being nice by saying nothing because he doesn't have a good response.

Posted by Inloveagain24

Posted by jeane

Posted by Inloveagain24
I'm just going to keep waiting it out. I definitely try to go off actions but it for sure has been a long time. I think he just needs even more time to figure it out. I never push so I'm sure I'm not helping. But that's just who I am. My friends tell me to make him jealous but that isn't me! I can't fake interest in another guy. And I'm not the type to do anything out of hurt.

"no action" is action.

That's true too. Maybe he isn't being super indecisive maybe he is just being nice by saying nothing because he doesn't have a good response.

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just don't wait around with nothing but wishful thinking.

Posted by blackphase

Posted by jeane

Posted by blackphase

Posted by jeane

Posted by blackphase

Posted by jeane
i'm still not convinced he sees it as a romantic attachment. has he done anything to indicate this is more than a friendship for him?

Do you think he would move in, father her children and tell them he loves them if there were no feelings for OP?

I thought that was a clear sign.. but maybe not. You're the Libra, you tell us 😛

i thought he moved in and then he developed feelings? wasn't it platonic when he moved in? i mean it is still platonic now.

i think fathering her children is the wrong interpretation. he lives with them. of course he is going to tell them to respect their mother, make them something to eat and that he loves them. no doubt he does care for them, it still doesn't mean he wants to hook up with their mother though.

unless he takes her out, buys her things, speaks about his growing feelings for her, touches her, flirts with her? this may be the case and we haven't heard it yet but so far it sounds like it is a lot of guesswork on her part and him just being nice.

I just wouldn't have thought a man would put that much effort into someone elses kids if he only saw it as a strictly platonic situation. But I really don't know.

I know a few of my friends who date women with children and are careful about how they act with the mother in front of her children becasue they don't want the kids to think they are a permanent fixture and let them down until they are sure that is where they intend to be and stay. It's a mature move if that is in fact what is happening. It can be hard on kids to get attached only to have that person leave. At least now he is not seen as someone who is sleeping in the same room with the mother, making him look more permanent in their lives.

culture differences maybe? where is op from?

Good question. Yes, I'm sure that makes a difference.

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He moved in and then became attached to kids. He does flirt but he flirts with everyone. To me him choosing to spend all his free time with me says more than his flirting. He has friends who want to spend time with him all the time and he generally always chooses me. And I never even ask.

Posted by jeane

Posted by Inloveagain24

Posted by jeane

Posted by Inloveagain24
I'm just going to keep waiting it out. I definitely try to go off actions but it for sure has been a long time. I think he just needs even more time to figure it out. I never push so I'm sure I'm not helping. But that's just who I am. My friends tell me to make him jealous but that isn't me! I can't fake interest in another guy. And I'm not the type to do anything out of hurt.

"no action" is action.

That's true too. Maybe he isn't being super indecisive maybe he is just being nice by saying nothing because he doesn't have a good response.

just don't wait around with nothing but wishful thinking.

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Well, I'm not needing a relationship, I wasn't looking when we met and I'm not going to actively look now. I'm planning on withdrawing myself a little, but I've tried that before and he just follows and wants my attention more. So I'm not sure if that will help me move on emotionally. Which puts me back in limbo while he figures himself out.

Posted by Inloveagain24
Well, I'm not needing a relationship, I wasn't looking when we met and I'm not going to actively look now. I'm planning on withdrawing myself a little, but I've tried that before and he just follows and wants my attention more. So I'm not sure if that will help me move on emotionally. Which puts me back in limbo while he figures himself out.

it's not about needing a relationship, it's that you by "waiting" you are spending time, emotion and energy on what looks to be a sinkhole but you're going to do what your going to do anyway.

Haven't you come here before about this problem? This story sounds familiar.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Haven't you come here before about this problem? This story sounds familiar.

Yep, not quite the same one, I hadn't told him that I loved him, at that point we had just gotten physical and then he'd withdrawn some. But since then everything has gone back to how it was before, and we have talked about it. I was considering asking him to move out and he didn't want that at all. We actually moved into a bigger place together last month.

*sigh*

Posted by ElTigre25

Posted by Inloveagain24
I'm in love with a Libra, and he knows, because I told him. We live together and have for six months. We spend most of our time together. Is it okay to let him know my heart is breaking because he hasn't voiced feeling the same? He hasn't ever said anything either way about his feelings. He never talks about other girls. So I know he doesn't want to hurt me but I don't know if it's because he is just a nice person or because he cares. It's confusing because he isn't going anywhere. He isn't pushing me out. When I told him I loved him it was over text and he never responded but he came home right away, cancelled plans with a friend and spent hours playing video games with me.

How much emotion can be handle? Should I portion out that I feel fragile and broken? Or put it all out there? I'm a very happy person so when we interact I'm always smiles and positive. I never get upset i just find the humor and laugh at any given situation. My sad emotion only comes out over text so it can't be that overwhelming. It's just important to me to be honest.

I want to make sure to give him space to think through whatever he needs but at the same time stay honest and true to myself.

Help?

This seriously sounds like some teenage bullshit scene from Degrassi. I am having a hard time seeing the seriousness in this. You text someone 'I love you' via text then you all proceed to play video games. Your relationship won't grow up until the both of you grow up.

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Hahaha!! That's amazing actually and might be so true. If nothing else this made me laugh. Thank you

Posted by Inloveagain24
I'm not sure. I looked up my astrology chart. It said this:

Rising sign is 12 degrees Pisces
Sun is in 02 degrees Cancer
Moon is in 11 degrees Leo
Mercury is in 10 degrees Gemini
Venus is in 28 degrees Taurus
Mars is in 10 degrees Libra
Jupiter is in 00 degrees Scorpio
Saturn is in 15 degrees Libra
Uranus is in 01 degrees Sagittarius
Neptune is in 25 degrees Sagittarius
Pluto is in 24 degrees Libra
N. Node is 13 degrees Cancer

What are his placements?

He's gay. He domestic, involved with the kids and never touches you? I had a male friend like this, he was 100% gay, but he had a girlfriend trying to throw everybody off. But no straight "man" will let a woman who loves him, sleep on the couch and not try and to invite her to the bedroom. You mark my word. I am sure you will deny this but mark my word, this is a gay man.

Posted by Librawoman77

Posted by Inloveagain24
I'm not sure. I looked up my astrology chart. It said this:

Rising sign is 12 degrees Pisces
Sun is in 02 degrees Cancer
Moon is in 11 degrees Leo
Mercury is in 10 degrees Gemini
Venus is in 28 degrees Taurus
Mars is in 10 degrees Libra
Jupiter is in 00 degrees Scorpio
Saturn is in 15 degrees Libra
Uranus is in 01 degrees Sagittarius
Neptune is in 25 degrees Sagittarius
Pluto is in 24 degrees Libra
N. Node is 13 degrees Cancer

What are his placements?

click to expand

Rising is Sagittarius
Sun is Libra
Moon is Leo
Mercury is Libra
Venus is Virgo
Mars is Aries
Jupiter is Gemini
Saturn is Sagittarius
Uranus is Sagittarius
Neptune is Capricorn
Pluto is Scorpio
N. Node is Pisces

Posted by Librawoman77
He's gay. He domestic, involved with the kids and never touches you? I had a male friend like this, he was 100% gay, but he had a girlfriend trying to throw everybody off. But no straight "man" will let a woman who loves him, sleep on the couch and not try and to invite her to the bedroom. You mark my word. I am sure you will deny this but mark my word, this is a gay man.

To be fair the one time he gave me a massage he did touch me. When he first moved on he avoided being near me like he was afraid of me. He is trying to change his old ways and not have sex until he's married. He kinda has a history as a player, or so I hear from friends who went to school with him. He relaxed after a while and he wanted me to give him a massage every night but always said no when I asked him for one.

Then one night he caved and gave me a massage but he couldn't just leave it at that, he had to go under my skirt and get way more intimate than a massage. We didn't have sex though.

It was awkward after that because I'm super socially awkward and so is he sometimes. I think we both were waiting for the other to say something but we just went back to normal eventually.

I did eventually tell him that he had hurt me by touching me without wanting to date me. And then I told him after that that I was in love with him, and it was difficult to just be friends.

He never responded but he came home right away after I sent those messages and cancelled plans with a different friend to spend time with me.

He's attracted to me, I know he is from how he acts but I think he's not at a point where he knows how to process that because he's big on image and what people think and I'm 33 to his 27, and have kids already.

It's not a looks thing, I look younger than him. But the idea I think? He didn't plan on liking me as much as he does when he met me but does and it's funny he can't seem to help wanting to spend all his time with me.

Posted by Librawoman77
He's gay. He domestic, involved with the kids and never touches you? I had a male friend like this, he was 100% gay, but he had a girlfriend trying to throw everybody off. But no straight "man" will let a woman who loves him, sleep on the couch and not try and to invite her to the bedroom. You mark my word. I am sure you will deny this but mark my word, this is a gay man.

To be fair though it's possible. Anything is. So I'm not discounting this. But I have good intuition and I know he's attracted to girls. He's a Libra, he'll flirt with guys. But there's no attraction behind it that I can see.

He flirts with guys? You are sooo deep in denial you can''t see the truth. You can't see the whole picture when you are in the frame. He flirts with guys and you excuse it because he is a LIbra? I am a Libra, and I never flirt with women. NEVER! And I am a big flirt, a huge flirt, but I would never flirt with a woman. In fact I do charts professionally, I am from San Francisco, raised in Oakland and live in L.A. and I have never seen a straight Libra man flirt with other men, unless he is gay or bisexual. You are in denial serious serious denial. It doesn't take a man a year to know if he wants you.

If you have all the answers why are you asking us? His Mars is in Aries and he doesn't touch you? I have never seen or heard of anything like that. Mars rules Aries - this is a man that will get what he wants with passion and vigor. Even if he did want to wait until he was married, with 3 planets in fire he would be sooo consumed with passion for you that would have to move. Pastors are susceptible to sleeping with their prospective mate when they love them. But I am sure you have an excuse for that too.

Girl, you are like a safe buddy. I see Cancer women live in denial for years like this ALL OF THE TIME. You can't tell a CANCER nothing. Besides, if you have all the answers why are you asking us? HE wants to spend his time with you because you are a safe friend, WHO HE DOESN'T TOUCH!

But, look, like most cancers, you can't tell them nothing!!! NOTHING! You are seeing what you want to see. BUT THIS MAN ENJOYS your company, but if he ain't trying to kiss you, if he hasn't vocalized romantic feelings. You are a friend. But once again, you will have excuses, because you are seeing what you want to see.

Posted by Librawoman77
He flirts with guys? You are sooo deep in denial you can''t see the truth. You can't see the whole picture when you are in the frame. He flirts with guys and you excuse it because he is a LIbra? I am a Libra, and I never flirt with women. NEVER! And I am a big flirt, a huge flirt, but I would never flirt with a woman. In fact I do charts professionally, I am from San Francisco, raised in Oakland and live in L.A. and I have never seen a straight Libra man flirt with other men, unless he is gay or bisexual. You are in denial serious serious denial. It doesn't take a man a year to know if he wants you.

If you have all the answers why are you asking us? His Mars is in Aries and he doesn't touch you? I have never seen or heard of anything like that. Mars rules Aries - this is a man that will get what he wants with passion and vigor. Even if he did want to wait until he was married, with 3 planets in fire he would be sooo consumed with passion for you that would have to move. Pastors are susceptible to sleeping with their prospective mate when they love them. But I am sure you have an excuse for that too.

Girl, you are like a safe buddy. I see Cancer women live in denial for years like this ALL OF THE TIME. You can't tell a CANCER nothing. Besides, if you have all the answers why are you asking us? HE wants to spend his time with you because you are a safe friend, WHO HE DOESN'T TOUCH!

But, look, like most cancers, you can't tell them nothing!!! NOTHING! You are seeing what you want to see. BUT THIS MAN ENJOYS your company, but if he ain't trying to kiss you, if he hasn't vocalized romantic feelings. You are a friend. But once again, you will have excuses, because you are seeing what you want to see.

She didn't hear a word you said. She's in love. But Mars in Aries, ain't trying to bone? It's been a year, he knows she's in love with him and he ain't regularly trying to pull down the panties? Denial Is powerful! I will not haul off and call the boy a homosexual, but something is suspect?

So I've been rereading all of this and it's kind of funny at this point. I'm STILL confused (well, kind of). This was all from back in March, and I had a different post last December.

We still live together, are still just friends. We have had a lot happen though.

For example fell in love with a girl and tried to hide it from me, I found out on accident, I came home early one day. I was calm so he thought I was okay with it but he tried to have her sleep over and I broke down. He said he would move out if he couldn't have her over - I told him I'd help him pack. I was in tears and so emotional. He then backpedaled and said that actually he didn't want to move out he was 'bluffing' and he wouldn't have her over until I was okay with it. He seemed entirely shocked by my upset but he cared, I could tell. No mention of her ever again past that next day. Not once. He doesn't even talk to her now. I didn't expect that. In that situation his choice was very clear but I had to force it by telling him I was okay with him leaving.

Still just friends though. Except he has been wanting me to be very close to him, and we have gotten a little physical in the last couple days. I think he is incredibly insecure and incredibly confused. I had to make the first move both times, although he was encouraging of it. I've kinda known he has been thinking more sexual thoughts for a while but I just haven't gone there until now because I'm a very very slow mover and I tend to overthink it all.

I'm not entirely sure where I want to go from here, I may just call it done and get my own place, or I might ride this out. Realistically I do know he isn't likely to get any less confused anytime soon, which is why the getting my own place seems the best. But it's hard to take that step.

Anyway, I just thought I'd update this thread.

Still the same shit; but at least we know he isn't gay. So if he's not sexual with you, he is not physically or sexually attracted to you. Girl please, move on.

Posted by Shrewdsharp
Still the same shit; but at least we know he isn't gay. So if he's not sexual with you, he is not physically or sexually attracted to you. Girl please, move on.

That's the thing though. He is attracted. He gets a hard on every time I give him a massage. He has to have a pillow in his lap to hide it but sometimes he forgets to ask for the pillow right away. And he wants his upper thighs and lower back back (and basically his ass) massaged a lot which leads to me unavoidably feeling him. He is definitely attracted. I usually don't go anywhere but after lot of times of him trying to lead me there (making 'thats feels good' noises) I went there. I gave him a hand job (because he wouldn't let me do anything else, both of us have talked about not wanting to have sex with anyone outside of marriage at this point in our lives, we held that conversation a year ago when he was first moving in). He has continued to want massages and a couple more times in the last three weeks I have taken it further and got him off after like 4 hours of massage. Lol I make him wait and sometimes he gets nothing but he seems to want my closeness just as much as the sexual. He likes when I massage his hands so he can hold my hand. The only thing I've noticed is that this is making him fluctuate our friendship. He will go days wanting all my time and attention and then he will be all in his own world for days. Living together he never completely disappears, and he always helps me around the house and makes sure I am getting to relax and that I'm eating, etc he will just not talk much for a few days at a time. Anyway, this is why I'm confused.

Also to complicate things he has an std that I know about but he doesn't know I know about. I don't know what has just that he has one. (I know reliably, I dont listen to gossip, I only don't know what it is because I didn't pry after finding out I figured he'd eventually tell me). Only he's the kind of person who is going to have a really hard time telling me or anyone. He is super prideful.

Posted by Inloveagain24

Posted by Shrewdsharp
Still the same shit; but at least we know he isn't gay. So if he's not sexual with you, he is not physically or sexually attracted to you. Girl please, move on.

That's the thing though. He is attracted. He gets a hard on every time I give him a massage. He has to have a pillow in his lap to hide it but sometimes he forgets to ask for the pillow right away. And he wants his upper thighs and lower back back (and basically his ass) massaged a lot which leads to me unavoidably feeling him. He is definitely attracted. I usually don't go anywhere but after lot of times of him trying to lead me there (making 'thats feels good' noises) I went there. I gave him a hand job (because he wouldn't let me do anything else, both of us have talked about not wanting to have sex with anyone outside of marriage at this point in our lives, we held that conversation a year ago when he was first moving in). He has continued to want massages and a couple more times in the last three weeks I have taken it further and got him off after like 4 hours of massage. Lol I make him wait and sometimes he gets nothing but he seems to want my closeness just as much as the sexual. He likes when I massage his hands so he can hold my hand. The only thing I've noticed is that this is making him fluctuate our friendship. He will go days wanting all my time and attention and then he will be all in his own world for days. Living together he never completely disappears, and he always helps me around the house and makes sure I am getting to relax and that I'm eating, etc he will just not talk much for a few days at a time. Anyway, this is why I'm confused.

Also to complicate things he has an std that I know about but he doesn't know I know about. I don't know what has just that he has one. (I know reliably, I dont listen to gossip, I only don't know what it is because I didn't pry after finding out I figured he'd eventually tell me). Only he's the kind of person who is going to have a really hard time telling me or anyone. He is super prideful.

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i hope you washed your hands.

Posted by jeane

Posted by Inloveagain24

Posted by Shrewdsharp
Still the same shit; but at least we know he isn't gay. So if he's not sexual with you, he is not physically or sexually attracted to you. Girl please, move on.

That's the thing though. He is attracted. He gets a hard on every time I give him a massage. He has to have a pillow in his lap to hide it but sometimes he forgets to ask for the pillow right away. And he wants his upper thighs and lower back back (and basically his ass) massaged a lot which leads to me unavoidably feeling him. He is definitely attracted. I usually don't go anywhere but after lot of times of him trying to lead me there (making 'thats feels good' noises) I went there. I gave him a hand job (because he wouldn't let me do anything else, both of us have talked about not wanting to have sex with anyone outside of marriage at this point in our lives, we held that conversation a year ago when he was first moving in). He has continued to want massages and a couple more times in the last three weeks I have taken it further and got him off after like 4 hours of massage. Lol I make him wait and sometimes he gets nothing but he seems to want my closeness just as much as the sexual. He likes when I massage his hands so he can hold my hand. The only thing I've noticed is that this is making him fluctuate our friendship. He will go days wanting all my time and attention and then he will be all in his own world for days. Living together he never completely disappears, and he always helps me around the house and makes sure I am getting to relax and that I'm eating, etc he will just not talk much for a few days at a time. Anyway, this is why I'm confused.

Also to complicate things he has an std that I know about but he doesn't know I know about. I don't know what has just that he has one. (I know reliably, I dont listen to gossip, I only don't know what it is because I didn't pry after finding out I figured he'd eventually tell me). Only he's the kind of person who is going to have a really hard time telling me or anyone. He is super prideful.

i hope you washed your hands.

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Hah! yes I did wash my hands.

Posted by tiziani
A hard on isn't a sign that he's attracted to you. It just means he is aroused. There are some disturbing points about your post. You come across as though you need to work on boundaries big time.

In what way? And I'm asking because I'm honestly curious. And I know he is attracted for other reasons. It just fluctuates. People around us have noticed the same thing. Sometimes he's really into me, sometimes he's in his own world.

i have a question. is he still with this other woman? you both said no sex before marriage but he is sleeping with her?

sorry, that's two questions.

oh, one more; how did you find out about his std if he didn't tell you?

Does he pay rent?

Posted by LadyNeptune
Does he pay rent?

i think you and i are both coming to the same conclusion...

It took 4 hours of him encouraging me. Hah, each of the three times. I don't think that is taking advantage. And the one time we did talk about him moving out I just was honest and told him what I couldn't live with and he made his own decisions from there. I didn't issue an ultimatum. He said he would leave if he couldn't have the girl over, hr initiated that. I told him okay, that I'd help him leave, and he responded with 'nevermind, I was bluffing she won't come over anymore'. And I never said I wasn't confused too. Unfortunately I am.

Posted by jeane
i have a question. is he still with this other woman? you both said no sex before marriage but he is sleeping with her?

sorry, that's two questions.

oh, one more; how did you find out about his std if he didn't tell you?

Okay so no, she disappeared right away. She was pissed that he wouldn't have her over and honestly I think it was easier for him to avoid her than me. She was an easy flirtatious and a distraction from life. After he said he wouldn't have her over he quit even talking to her within a week. He never slept with her. And I know because one of his family members told me.

Posted by jeane

Posted by LadyNeptune
Does he pay rent?

i think you and i are both coming to the same conclusion...

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I seriously want to know though. If the op is providing free room and board she holds the power position in their interactions.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by jeane

Posted by LadyNeptune
Does he pay rent?

i think you and i are both coming to the same conclusion...

I seriously want to know though. If the op is providing free room and board she holds the power position in their interactions.

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i agree. it's a valid question.

Posted by Inloveagain24

Posted by jeane
i have a question. is he still with this other woman? you both said no sex before marriage but he is sleeping with her?

sorry, that's two questions.

oh, one more; how did you find out about his std if he didn't tell you?

Okay so no, she disappeared right away. She was pissed that he wouldn't have her over and honestly I think it was easier for him to avoid her than me. She was an easy flirtatious and a distraction from life. After he said he wouldn't have her over he quit even talking to her within a week. He never slept with her. And I know because one of his family members told me.

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Have you considered the possibility that he might have asked his family member to tell you he has an std. Perhaps in the hope that you will stop sexually manipulating him...?

Posted by LadyNeptune
Does he pay rent?

Yeah no. I guess I should have said that right away. He has, but he has been without a job for two months now. When he was working he was paying half of everything. Pretty much giving me all his money. Even his last paycheck when he knew he was fired he gave almost the whole thing to me for bills and buying house stuff. But since he got fired he has been really depressed. He should have a job this week though. He has been interviewing. I know that puts a spin on things! But he has family and friends he could easily live with and has all his comforts. I have asked him if he is using me and he has said no that he feels guilty staying and not contributing, he hates where he is in life right now but he doesn't want to run away like he always does.