libra wishy-washy? what happened??

TL;DR: met a libra, hit it off really well, chatted for a week, but he changed on the first date, didn't want to pursue relationship, but stares at me at clubs.

i met a libra off a dating app and within an hour of chatting, he wanted me to come meet up with him at a bar/club. we ended up meeting after he came across as pretty pushy from first text to face-to-face, but i just blamed the alcohol and liked the attention. we hit it off really well, as if we had known each other for a long time. very sweet and caring the whole night, but again i suspected the booze.

anyways, he checked on me through text the next morning and we started texting more from there. we wanted a lot of the same things, and after unloading some of my insecurities, he said he didn't care about those things, so we decided to plan a date. we got to know each other for about a week and everything went really good, minus a couple things that we smoothed over easily. he seemed really into me, so i let myself be into him. very sweet the entire time, and he knew it too.

we finally met again for our date, and i could tell something was up within the first 10 seconds. he seemed really distant, uncomfortable, nervous? it was an awkward date to say the least. he wasn't the person i texted that week at all, but instead came across as judgmental and a bit snotty. the date finally took a nose dive when we started talking about a controversial subject that we didn't fully see eye to eye on.

we ended the date on a bad note, and went separate ways. later, i sent him a text asking what was up and he said he wasn't interested in going further, and became incredibly vague, but overly polite. me being me, i started getting aggressive and asking for legit reasons. he remained polite and calm the entire time, but still vague, and eventually said he didn't want to continue the conversation or pursue a relationship, final answer.

a week later, i caught him staring at me twice at a club, breaking eye contact immediately. he had an upset look on his face, but i didn't know how to read it. wanting to chat but felt bad? upset that i was there? he mentioned before that hes not good at taking compliments, and that i was out of his league looks wise, leading me to believe hes insecure about his looks. would a libra get this weird and break things off because of insecurity? i reassured him that i thought he was so handsome, and it made him feel good.

what happened? is this common behavior for a libra? is he going to change his mind and hit me up, or even approach me at a bar? or do libras make final decisions and i shouldn't look back? im a cancer, and i know this isn't the best pairing, but the way he presented himself originally is exactly what im looking for in a partner, and even though i've let him go, if this is some weird game, i'd love to hear a strategy.

I think men are pretty simple. If a man wants you, he'll go after you.

I've experienced wishy-washy crap from other signs and I just took that as them not being interested enough so I moved on. Problem solved.

No need to complicate your life, go find someone who won't give you any of that shit.

who knows, maybe he saw something about you in social media that he didn't like?

now about the stare, Idk why you cancer and other water signs give so much credit to that LOL if I was attracted to you once, the fact that I dislike your personality or thought it won't work out, doesn't override that, let me have my eye candy goddammit

Hes not interested, he told you that in the text. Then YOU went crazy, demanding a reason why he wasnt interested. Hes probably scared of you now, thats why he breaks eye contact and ignores you. If he was interested in you, he would be with you right now.

You cannot get to know someone over electronic devices. Men are visual, women are auditory. Many times Ive cut a date short because I knew instantly I was not interested.

Get over it, find someone new, dont be clingy, its a huge turnoff.

Best of luck, finding a good mate is hard

Hi I am a Libra, and I actually dated a Cancer.

At least for me, I am all about connection and conversation on the first meeting because I can tell right away if this is a good fit or not. I think just the vibe or the aura of your conversation did not work for him.

Hes not interested in you. I know Aquas and Scorps and Cancers have things where they "stare from afar" when they are into you or just observing, but Libras dont do that. Maybe we stare just to stare? Theres not much thought put into it.

Even with the Cancer I dated, there was no spark or connection within the first meeting and I had to grow my feelings for him over time. And mind you he showed too much clinginess and eagerness (similar to your reaction when he said he did not want to pursue anything more) that actually did totally turn me off. He got me through consistency persistence and honesty with how he felt (but maybe that only worked on me because I have a strong earth influence in my other placements).

He said he doesn’t want a relationship or to move forward with you. What’s there to get? Just move on with your life.

There's someone else for sure. The change in attitude when seeing you, he felt he connected with someone else more but since he may have liked you a bit too he still gave it a shot. Since you guys butt heads and didn't see eye to eye, that was it for him.

Drop him, he already dropped you.

Next time don't get demanding for a response as to why someone doesn't want to date you, take it at face value and leave. No one owes you an explanation and you should see yourself as too worthy to even care, his loss ultimately.

thank you for the responses! y'all made some good points. i did make some mistakes being persistent, but i've dealt with a lot of guys that like to play games and act uninterested, and then at a later date ask why i stopped talking to them, which leads me to an update to this story.

its been almost a month since all this went down. i went to a bar the other night, and headed straight to the bathroom instead of grabbing a drink first. immediately i heard someone calling my name twice, and it was him. he called me over to talk and said "why don't you say hi to me? you ignored me at *previous awkward encounter*". i asked why he wanted to talk, and he said he wanted to at least be cordial and say hi when we saw each other, but not talk like we did before. i said "say hi, and then what?" he just repeated himself.

what the heck is going on? one minute he was trying to cut off contact, and now hes face to face asking why i dont talk to him. do libras do this? is this some kind of weird game?? he made a dramatic statement, something like "if you dont want to talk, im completely fine with cutting you out of my life and never talking again, but thats up to you". i said i didnt know what to do, told him how i felt, and said we'd see what happens. my friend said he would periodically stare at me while i was still there, as i tried my best not to look. there was at least 4 of his friends watching this entire encounter, not to mention they usually stare me down whenever they see me out, which leads me to believe hes talked about me, but im not sure what hes said.

im trying not to overthink things, but this is just so weird to me. what is going on in this libra's head?

Do yourself a favor and ignore this guy. And when I say ignore, I dont mean play games. Ignore like stop wasting your time trying to figure him out and move on.

Posted by stickz

thank you for the responses! y'all made some good points. i did make some mistakes being persistent, but i've dealt with a lot of guys that like to play games and act uninterested, and then at a later date ask why i stopped talking to them, which leads me to an update to this story.

its been almost a month since all this went down. i went to a bar the other night, and headed straight to the bathroom instead of grabbing a drink first. immediately i heard someone calling my name twice, and it was him. he called me over to talk and said "why don't you say hi to me? you ignored me at *previous awkward encounter*". i asked why he wanted to talk, and he said he wanted to at least be cordial and say hi when we saw each other, but not talk like we did before. i said "say hi, and then what?" he just repeated himself.

what the heck is going on? one minute he was trying to cut off contact, and now hes face to face asking why i dont talk to him. do libras do this? is this some kind of weird game?? he made a dramatic statement, something like "if you dont want to talk, im completely fine with cutting you out of my life and never talking again, but thats up to you". i said i didnt know what to do, told him how i felt, and said we'd see what happens. my friend said he would periodically stare at me while i was still there, as i tried my best not to look. there was at least 4 of his friends watching this entire encounter, not to mention they usually stare me down whenever they see me out, which leads me to believe hes talked about me, but im not sure what hes said.

im trying not to overthink things, but this is just so weird to me. what is going on in this libra's head?

its because libras want to be cordial and cool with everyone, so literally like even though he doesnt want anything romantic with you, he still wants to be on good terms. we try to be on good terms with literally everyone under the sun because we hate discord, so its either were on good terms or we cut you out of our lives. by saying that statement, he was giving you that option, like "look we can play it cool and keep it friendly, or if you want we can ignore each other and just pretend the other doesnt exist."

he intiated a hello as a warm greeting to remind you "hey we can still be on good terms" and called you out on ignoring him to remind you "people who know each other dont ignore each other". he is actually being straight forward with you, because he literally said "lets say hi when we see each other in public but i dont want to get close to you and hang out with you"

thats literally whats going on in his head because i said the same thing to my cancer ex two nights ago

oh and i think ur overthinking him glancing at you or his friends watching the encounter, focus on the actual words hes telling you and take them verbatum. libras are usually straightforward w/ someone they really dont have feelings for

Posted by stickz

TL;DR: met a libra, hit it off really well, chatted for a week, but he changed on the first date, didn't want to pursue relationship, but stares at me at clubs.

i met a libra off a dating app and within an hour of chatting, he wanted me to come meet up with him at a bar/club. we ended up meeting after he came across as pretty pushy from first text to face-to-face, but i just blamed the alcohol and liked the attention. we hit it off really well, as if we had known each other for a long time. very sweet and caring the whole night, but again i suspected the booze.

anyways, he checked on me through text the next morning and we started texting more from there. we wanted a lot of the same things, and after unloading some of my insecurities, he said he didn't care about those things, so we decided to plan a date. we got to know each other for about a week and everything went really good, minus a couple things that we smoothed over easily. he seemed really into me, so i let myself be into him. very sweet the entire time, and he knew it too.

we finally met again for our date, and i could tell something was up within the first 10 seconds. he seemed really distant, uncomfortable, nervous? it was an awkward date to say the least. he wasn't the person i texted that week at all, but instead came across as judgmental and a bit snotty. the date finally took a nose dive when we started talking about a controversial subject that we didn't fully see eye to eye on.

we ended the date on a bad note, and went separate ways. later, i sent him a text asking what was up and he said he wasn't interested in going further, and became incredibly vague, but overly polite. me being me, i started getting aggressive and asking for legit reasons. he remained polite and calm the entire time, but still vague, and eventually said he didn't want to continue the conversation or pursue a relationship, final answer.

a week later, i caught him staring at me twice at a club, breaking eye contact immediately. he had an upset look on his face, but i didn't know how to read it. wanting to chat but felt bad? upset that i was there? he mentioned before that hes not good at taking compliments, and that i was out of his league looks wise, leading me to believe hes insecure about his looks. would a libra get this weird and break things off because of insecurity? i reassured him that i thought he was so handsome, and it made him feel good.

what happened? is this common behavior for a libra? is he going to change his mind and hit me up, or even approach me at a bar? or do libras make final decisions and i shouldn't look back? im a cancer, and i know this isn't the best pairing, but the way he presented himself originally is exactly what im looking for in a partner, and even though i've let him go, if this is some weird game, i'd love to hear a strategy.

"and after unloading some of my insecurities, he said he didn't care about those things," - what insecurities have you unloaded on him?

"within the first 10 seconds. he seemed really distant, uncomfortable, nervous?" - maybe you just projected your own feelings?

"me being me, i started getting aggressive and asking for legit reasons." - legit reasons why somebody would not like to be with you after the first/second date? maybe your unloading some of your insecurities?

what I see on this forum regarding dating, there are lots of introverted and reserved people, who get agressive and obsessive if their date (who they know for a minute) dont respond to their inner feelings..... are there any other man you can talk on this dating site? I mean, dont stalk this man and be friendly with him, if you ever want to get a date, because if you mingle in the same environment, your "strange" behaviour will get whispered around, like "dont date this chick, she is crazy"

know what I mean?

He doesn’t like seeing you at the same club he’s at. Probably afraid of what you might do. Since it ended on bad terms.

thank you all for the responses, especially the ones that explain a libra's behavior. i'm not going to obsess about it anymore, just wondering why he would be acting this way. hes pushy, so i don't doubt he'll approach me again. at that time, im just going to tell him that i have mixed feelings towards him and that it would be better for me if we didnt talk anymore at all, because i really dont see the point unless it could lead to something. i'm not trying to be friends with someone that makes me feel like im not worth it. i have a feeling that is going to be received poorly.

For a Libra man to straight up tell you he doesn't want a relationship or to move forward- he means that crap. We love conversing, attention and flirtation. Even the prospect of a potential relationship is so exciting to us. We will keep entertaining if we aren't sure, because we always think 'well maybbeeeee". He said that flat out, thats heavy for us...he is not interested at all.