Regrets

You hear man & women alike say that they regret sleeping with someone. That's understandable - for sure.

However, in doing some reflecting about past relationships, there are 2 men who I regret NOT sleeping with.

Have you ever this way & why didn't you take the opportunity when it presented itself?

I don't have regrets like that. My approach has always been calculated. Even my sexual experimentation when I was younger were also calculated risks. I've had 1 one night stand and 1 FWB and those 2 guys were carefully selected as well. I've observed them for a year before I got into those situations.

What opportunity are you referring to? To have sex just with anybody? Hell no! I tried that fwb and one night stand thing and neither was fulfilling for me. It was empty.

I'd just make love to my man. That's my new found religion. 😄

I didn't have a firm grasp on my sexuality at the time - my upbringing & society ruled my body/head. I was certainly crazy about these 2 men and I believe it paralyzed me.

One was murdered and the other is attached.

(There is a 3rd current prospect but I going through troubled times with him...and once again the opportunity may be lost.)

Sorry about the murdered guy. The attached one... you had sexual relations with him while being attached to someone———??

A one nighter doesn't appeal to me on any level...

FWB...how does one do that? Arranging sex w/out the anticipation, fire, passion doesn't do it for me either. Do I at least get to dress up and go out to dinner?

I mean someone else———

Posted by AesmaDaeva
Sorry about the murdered guy. The attached one... you had sexual relations with him while being attached to someone———??

I hollered...

Is it wrong to laugh while referencing someone's death?

Posted by AesmaDaeva
I mean someone else———

Whew.

No, we never slept together.

Posted by intheair
A one nighter doesn't appeal to me on any level...

FWB...how does one do that? Arranging sex w/out the anticipation, fire, passion doesn't do it for me either. Do I at least get to dress up and go out to dinner?

FWB - friends with benefits aka fuck buddy. Well, hmm yeah he did take me out to dinners too. I think we weren't on the same page. He treated me more like a girlfriend although I told him I don't want a serious relationship. When he started calling me 6-10x daily and texting me nonstop to meet, that's when I stopped the whole thing. He became annoying. He wanted to introduce me to his family, take me to his gigs, brought me presents whenever I didn't go. So I was wondering WTH he thought we had. I just ended it.

Posted by intheair

Posted by AesmaDaeva
I mean someone else———

Whew.

No, we never slept together.

click to expand

Okay so it was more like unrequited love? 😢

That's what it sounds like, unrequited love that's what I had before I met my husband...

No, the feelings were mutual.

RE: How do you separate feelings from sex. Women generally are UNSUCCESSFUL at doing this. Yes?

i.e. You have to be attracted mentally/physically attracted to him. If you add consistent sex, then feelings develop.

I don't know.

Its the feeling of being completely, hopelessly, desperately in love with someone, all the while knowing that your feelings will never reach them.

UNREQUITED LOVE - Its contradictory in that you feel incredible because you love someone so much, but also at the same time you feel almost overwhelming despair because you will never know what it is like to hold them in your arms, or touch their face, or kiss their lips. You will never know what it is like to wake-up next to them in bed in the morning, bodies entwined.

It can be masochistic in nature- it causes such heartache, but you enjoy loving the person so much, you willingly let your heart go through the agony, so you can hold onto something- I don't know, maybe hope?

In any case, unrequited love is a very sad thing.

"Unrequited Love"-
Its like drowning but you just won't fucking die.

^^^^
Not remotely close ----> intheair

Posted by intheair
No, the feelings were mutual.

RE: How do you separate feelings from sex. Women generally are UNSUCCESSFUL at doing this. Yes?

i.e. You have to be attracted mentally/physically attracted to him. If you add consistent sex, then feelings develop.

I don't know.

Yeah, in general that's true.

I was attracted to the guy, yes, physically and mentally but emotionally there was just nothing. It never happened. In a way it's kinda sad y'know, I was even hoping maybe I'd fall for him eventually but I know I can't kid myself. It just never happens like that. I can't choose who to love.

He was even really nice, would've made a great BF. Attentive, caring, thoughtful, driven, optimistic, talented, and smart. I just never loved him.

I'm glad I met my husband and he healed my yearning heart. There will come a time when you'll look back and smile.

You do not have to drown forever you can always rise above!!

Remember that. Look me just married and extremely happy! No regrets !!

Posted by Sugarfoot
There have been guys I've fantasized about being with. Crushes mainly. But, I never got to know them enough to even scratch the surface of bumpin and grindin. So for me things never developed past, "Hmmm...I wonder what he looks like naked." Still no regrets.

I have a veeeery personal question to ask but you can say no if you're not comfortable answering it.

I was just wondering about something. I've had crushes too but when I masturbate, I can't think about them. It doesn't turn me on. 😢 I need to have an emotional attachment to the guy before I get turned on. Same thing I realized when I had the one night stand and FWB, it wasn't enough. I think the term is called demisexual. That's what I realized about me. I guess majority of women are like this? At one point in my life, I even thought there was something wrong with me.