Body Parts (Page 20)

and i'm not saying that he will reject you. what i'm getting at is that the reason he might reject you is that he's an aqua and he's a spazz. it won't be intentional. in fact, he may run simply to come back at a later date.

if your friendship was strong beforehand, you have to hold on to that as truth. and trust me, he will come back. you two will be as strong as ever but how soon that happens depends on your not being a weirdo and a recluse.

AA - you still look like jail bait yes but one can now take you to a bar in the US and not get arrested for letting you sip on one's martini. and you can get into some clubs so you're not officially out of the jail bait window until you're 25.

oops, you can't get into

ok, i just pictured the two of you locked in a room and i cracked up. something "mental ward" about that picture.

and you won't know cause he doesn't know. i'm not getting why you don't get that? why were you so insistent that you didn't want to be in a relationship with him? was that your pride speaking? were you unsure? are you still unsure? maybe you just want him because you feel as if you've been rejected? when you get him, will you still want him?

IMHO aqua men are some of the worst when it comes to commitment. yes, they can do it. yes, they can be faithful and monogamous. but getting them to actually BE in a relationship usually requires something/someone formidable...like a baby. 😛

i think they can be with you for years and never think to consummate the relationship on a grander scale. there's something about permanence that makes them feel trapped.

so keeping that in mind, i think you need to really ponder what brought you two together in the first place. and i'm sure it was that you had a great sense of humor, you were natural to be around, you didn't have any expectations on him...he could feel as if he was free with you and maybe that's why things were better?

i say get back to normal because that would be odd to him. he's obviously not back to normal so why are you? what's up with that? why are you like talking to him as if nothing happened? you don't seem bitter at all. why are you smiling?

that's a mystery that he may want to solve but if he knows some big "talk" is coming, he's gonna hide under a rock as long as possible.

AA, one should not drink around boys that might eventually see one's nips. so no, one does not if one is being careful and does one's best to respectfully avoid putting oneself in a situation where only one thing could happen and one doesn't want that.

that's ok. they weren't of me anyway. i'm not sure why you didn't question the lack of boobies or the hair legs but that was my cousin leroi. i'm shocked that you liked the pics but you know....whatever gets you off.

oh sweetie, you know you always have a spot near the pool. you'd make a cute pool boy.

yeah, leroi doesn't make a bad looking bitch. just needs a wax.

you want to date your little brother? i wonder what freud would have to say about that?

aquas aren't difficult if you realize that you're better off NOT doing a full court press. i think you'll be far more interesting to him if you're aloof and in a way, completely oblivious to feelings...they are 😛

my bff is married to an aqua and her hubby reminds me a lot of my aqua. she got knocked up and that sealed the deal for her. i'm not recommending that but i know that if that had happened with the aqua, we'd be wed right now. when they're mature, they're stand-up guys and very logical/practical when it comes to courtship.

just try to relax and don't be so obvious with what you want. i think by acting weird the past few months, you've been telegraphing the wrong message. if you have to begin with facebook, so be it. and don't allow his weirdness to deter you.

the fact that he has some random contact with you demonstrates that he's not in total freeze-out mode. but you did do SOMETHING back in december that caused him to run. you know what you did...as i have said all along...even though you don't want to discuss it here. i know EXACTLY why my aqua spazzed out. it was my fault but he didn't tell me either. it's just something i figured out after the dust settled and in retrospect, i could've avoided the breakup by relaxing and being my normal self.

AA - well, first we have to have you measured. if you can't fit in the required uniform then there's no point in discussing your benefits package. hmm...speaking of "packages," where's my pic?

on a side note, why did i just receive an email from AGSM in Sydney Australia about their MBA program? TOC have you hacked into my email?

oui!

that took me FOREVER to learn about my aqua-ex. it's not that i wanted to change him in the emotions category but i did need "more." i needed "bigger." i needed LEO! and i got LEO and where the passion and everything i missed with aqua was there, the things that made being with the aqua great were missing...namely, friendship.

of all signs that i've dealt with this far, aqua men take a little give on a my part at least. realizing that they may not say the words you want but will do things to demonstrate their affection. paying attention to what they're doing vs what they're saying is important. if he wanted nothing to do with you, trust me, you'd know.

so take the good signs that your friends have given you and relax. i don't think you're going to get a satisfactory level of confirmation from him. just start paying attention to what he does moving forward. that should help you figure out where you two stand.

smaller? you know that's not going to work. since we can't fix that, your best bet is to start taking roids and bulk up a bit. at least you'll have the muscles and then i might be able to hire you on as eye candy.

bogans? hmm, yes TOC, you may change subject now.

i just listened to the weirdest news segment in french. i think the dude was talking about celebs having concerts/parties on planes...mid-flight. but then he started talking about otis redding and how he died in a plane crash. they then played sittin on the dock of the play for a good 2 minutes and then switched to an actual party flight.

damn shame when stuff gets lost in translation.

yes, i recall your neighbors with the outdoor living room.

i have never wanted to have sex in a toilet. gross. i talked to a dude who when asked, "what's the freakiest place you've ever done it?," he said, "a port-a-potty." yuck!

and doesn't being a member mean that you had sex fairly quickly to avoid being caught? which means the guy is the one who benefits? sounds kinda back alley to me.

you're such a dork.

facebook sent me a reminder that i have 41 friend requests that need approval. i dont have 41 friends so i didnt bother to check in.

even on yahoo messenger i'm invisible. i'm always signed in and what's funny is, people who know me, my "real" friends, know just message. if i'm on, i'll respond and if not, i'm most likely not logged in. occasionally i'll ignore folk but very rarely.

can you be anti-social while on the internet or do anti-social people gravitate toward the internet?

libra gets the vanity side of venus.

thats y youre in hiding

my bff is coming by...just got off phone. hes such a crackhead.

lata

That's funny, I'm always invisible on yahoo too. Everyone I really want to talk too knows I'm in stealth mode, it's like being 'sponge worthy'.
MSN I come online for, but I've only got two on there, huge list on yahoooo.

no, it couldn't be walking around barefoot or drinking God knows what out of that yellow kitchen the other week.

wow, you really are sick. but i'm not sure medicine can cure ya.

if you walk barefoot at a pool, you can contract a fungus. if you have pets and trample around their hangout spots, you can get ringworm. amongst other things!

the i before e rule holds in MOST cases. and "pieces" holds true to the thingy.

i came before e....except after c. there's no i after c in the word "pieces."

the only word i know for fact breaks it is science. and conscience.

you're such a dork.

i am a rational human being who doesn't like things crawling/growing in or on me.

i am bored!

i sorta miss talking to frenchy. he signs on skype to chit-chat for a bit but only for 30 min or so. he's on vacay right now but i was really enjoying my french lessons and pretending that he wasn't almost twice my age.

i also think i'm going to school this fall and will be moving in with my bff. i need to cut back on my expenses and he said i could stay with him for $ 250/month...his smoke/liquor budget.

damnit...how do i keep pushing enter? 😛

i think i should be able to find a renter before school starts but we'll see. i just hope i can get everything done in time to make a decision in one direction or the other.

stop talking about it and git 'er dun!

i find it odd that you would opt for social services though. wouldn't that put you in regular contact with "feral" individuals?

no, i was evaluating the whole move abroad thing and regardless of where i end up, i'd like to have a licensed trade under my belt. so i found a program that can be completed in a year. once i get wherever i end up, i can hit the ground running.

also, a lot of countries will issue visas to individuals with skilled trades whereas regular folk just trying to enter the country have to jump through a lot more hoops and have more visa issues.

nope. france would be ideal...in a sense. but this weekend i was searching the internet in french for stuff and it was very sobering. i mean, imagine being in a place and having to work at figuring out simple tasks. it's one thing if you move to a new country with a friend/spouse. or if you move for a job, you have coworkers. but when you move on your own...it's kinda scary. add the language barrier and it's petrifying. i mean, i can handle myself as far as french is concerned but studying it and actually using it on a day to day basis are different things.

the uk might be a better option but london would be a cop out. plus it's expensive. and i'm still partial to the islands. the islands would be the safest bet but the US virgin islands aren't very big. you could drive from one end to the other in less than an hour. i'm not sure i want to be that restricted.

right now m concentration is on how i will make money. once that's settled, i'll worry about where.

and mental illness? i'd say something incredibly smart in regard to that but i shall leave it alone. where i think it'd be cool to help people with their issues, mental illness in the true sense of the words has never appealed to me. i think it'd be depressing. which reminds me...

oprah had a program earlier this year where a girl who was about 10 i guess. she had been diagnosed with schizophrenia and it was sooooo sad. i felt bad for the parents. they actually had to rent two different apartments because she has a younger brother that one or more of her personalities didn't like very much. so the parents work in shifts. one had to keep an eye on her to keep her from hurting herself. the other one had to be with the other child.

that's the FIRST class? uhm...i'm not saying you'd fail buuuuuut...yea.

wow! that's tough. how old is your bro? what age was he when he left? do you know exactly where he's staying or has he distanced himself to the point where yall don't know? how have your parents dealt with it?

schizophrenia is one of those afflictions that i don't think those who claim to be qualified truly understand. at the end of the day, most "fixes" are drug cocktails and finding the right cocktail is a crap shoot. i'd be frustrated just knowing that some doc handed me some meds and said, yeah, let me know if this makes you feel better and if not, see me in 8 weeks 😛

i think that's what made the little girl's situation so heart-wrenching. she never had a time when she was lucid. you could tell that her parents loved her dearly but you could sense their fear. what happens when she's too big to hold down? given she's never known a life without multiple personalities, how will she cope in the real world? so in her case, i think it's scary for the people around her. she just doesn't know any better and may not ever truly connect with the "normal" way to do stuff. but for people who it onset later in life, that's gotta be even tougher.

i mean, i'd probably distance myself from everyone too. when off medication, it's whatever. but when you're on, you have to think about the way things were...how life used to be. and to know that you'll never be "normal" again has got to suck.

i take it you saw A Beautiful Mind? it always puzzled me. Nash's ability to rationalize in spite of his illness. i wonder how he does it. i'm sure it's not easy or as simple as ignoring the voices in his head but damn, he managed to do it before today's sophisticated cocktails became available. maybe that's how they should start treating people instead of drugging them up?

well the movie romanticized the hell out of dude's life but i won't spoil it for you. ultimately though, i think it's cool that he decided that the voices were not real. i think that's in part because he's an economist and economics is theory based. you literally have to consider what if's and i think through that process he was able to get to a point where he could separate reality from fiction. he still has issues and is very eccentric.

Shine was a good movie too. you see that? i wonder if the incident of brilliance and mental disorder are highly related? like is the percentage higher with smarter people or is it just one of those things?

and what is this about herb? good lord if it were true, everybody i know would need to be committed. but i get how your mom could worry that it might trigger something. i'd want to know why too. it's fucked up that he was ok until he 19. i guess you were too young to notice if he had any incidents before then but they do say that for most people it onsets in late teens-20s.

your dad sounds like a douche but hey, when people don't understand stuff, they can say some awful things. i told my grandmother a couple years back that a cousin molested me as a kid. she asked me why i didn't say anything and before i could reply, she said, "you must've liked it." it took everything in me not to call my gma out of her name.

anyhoo, you shouldn't beat yourself up. you didn't understand and where i'm sure in retrospect you would've handled things differently, you were a child. i have a friend whose older brother is autistic. he only says one word. i think he's 10-15 years older than her. growing up, her parents groomed her with the knowledge that she would have to care for her older brother. so there were times when she wanted to invite friends over and her brother would be right there. for her it was normal but i can imagine that the first introductions were always difficult...not matter how well she handled it (leo). she's afraid to have kids because of her brother i think.

point is, when you know better, you do better. you may not be able to communicate with your brother via phone but hell, write him a letter. he can read. he might burn them but who knows, you made an effort and if he does/doesn't find comfort in the connection via mail, you will.

ok, because of my lilith in gemini, i had to find the answer to my own question and yes, people who are highly artistically creative have a higher rate of "psychopathological symptoms" than those with low-average creativity. 😛

you should definitely check out shine. it's with geoffrey rush, barbosa from pirates of the caribbean. it's actually about an austrailian pianist so if you liked a beautiful mind, you'll crack up watching Shine. it was a mixture of sad and funny.

and you need to stop falsely accusing marijuana. marijuana in its natural state does not induce psychosis. now herb these days is often laced with other shit. one of my boys would soak his in alcohol to make it more potent. some people lace it with cocaine (banano). your brother might've gotten hold to some laced shit but i think blaming a complex illness on herb is just...silly frankly.

it's sorta like the link to vaccines and children with autism. on one hand, maybe there is a correlation. on the other, the disease has ALWAYS existed but it was not well known. i can't blame a parent for looking for reasons but maybe it just boils down to genetics and hopefully some day they'll be able to tell folk who have a genetic predisposition how minimize their risk factors when it comes to having children.

hmm...uhm no, i have never been in a mental hospital and i can only pray that i never have to go for myself or anyone else. i don't even want to visit nursing homes. there's just something about visiting someone who is confined for mental/physical reasons that just tears me up. but then i hear stuff from my friends who are nurses and it's like, no wonder yall beat the shit out of those old people.

hopefully your brother reads what you all send him and appreciates it. maybe it's easier for him to disassociate from you guys? if there is a part of him that still connects with his memories, it's gotta be painful. i think i'd shut down too. hell, i know i would.

and well, what did the chick say to?

ugh...what did she say to you? 😛

on a side note, i'm looking for a design that creams "bitch." it's very hard to find something that conveys bitchiness. like what colors are good bitch colors? i'm thinking red but that's so obvious.

wow, creams bitch? what the fuq?

and where did you get this FALSE fact regarding herb? people really shouldn't make up stuff. you're spreading misinformation but you're a libra so you can't help that you're teetered in the wrong direction.

it's good your brother is moving toward independent living. hopefully he stays on his meds. from what i've read, that's usually the problem. the side effects are just too much for some people so they'd rather go off the drug and live on the streets than conform. i guess they're so disconnected anyway that living on the streets doesn't really mean anything.

also, this might sound wrong but some old people, especially those with dementia, invite beat downs. one of my friends said that some of the white ones will call her nigger and say racist shit. and where she tries not to let it get to her, it's difficult to wipe someone's ass when they literally think you're shit. she claims to do her job no matter what but i dunno. she's only human.

this is why we need kids TOC. so we don't end up in nursing homes marinating in our own piss and poo.

and red isn't working for me. i'm trying to go off an existing color scheme because i'm lazy and dont want to design my own. i could opt for something plain jane and let the bitchy words speak for themselves but i was hoping to find something unique. im already on page 38 and it looks like i have quite a few more pages to go. hopefully i find something

jiminey cricket...posting in the wrong forum.

line of fat?

awake, are you saying that you like cankles?

and TOC, that correlation is complete bullshit.

people with mental/psychological disorders are known to self-medicate. they may exhibit "symptoms" of a disease before the full-blown onset of the illness. so DUH! yes, someone with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia or dissociative disorder etc are far more likely to use drugs. but the drugs do not cause or induce the disorder.

hogwash!

noooooo, ireplied in the wrong forum. not him. he came here to address the topic and here you are spouting bullshit about my favorite greenery.

that's like saying, cigarettes cause damage but not in all people 😛

i'm not asserting that marijuana is harmless but to correlate it to schizophrenia or any other disease is propaganda and complete BS. i bet those same teenagers were drinking alcohol but no one thought to study that.

@awake - yeah but you said knee fat

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewhew, you smoked cigarettes? your house must stink.

and it's ok awake. your love of fat knees and shins is welcome here. i mean, TOC likes men with thumpenises so it's all good. whatever floats your boat.

wow, a self-professed chubby chaser.

i agree though. i don't like men who are bags of bones. if your bones are rubbing against my bones, i do not find that pleasurable in the slightest. i don't care if a guy is overweight as long as he wears it well. like if he has muscle-bubble...he used to be muscular but now he's not as tone, i can work with that.

yeah, breathe on them and touch them with your fungified feet.

lata TOC

HA! 😛

she'd be fun to toy with if she wasn't so ignorant. she takes herself WAY too seriously.

i'm also starting to notice that water signs are REALLY repetitive. like they'll post something. and then come back and post something else. it's like they're really mad/upset. it's funny.

are you still coughing up your innards?

i'm confused actually. i posted in the aries forum about the convo i had with my aries yesterday and i'm conflicted.

like you, i tend to run away but for different reasons. if someone shows that they can hurt me, once i get clear of that hurt, i'm not going back for more. i'm a taurus damnit. getting over shit takes time and effort. going back for more when i'm just about "over it?" what sense does that make?

that's sorta why i never could go back to the aqua. i could at any time i think. but he hurt me so bad that i can forgive what was done, but i can't forget. i don't feel he deserves me.

the problem is, what if he's changed/grown? it's been 8 years after all and he's made a lot of strides in the emotions category.

men are so confusing.

oh, and your research is incomplete. there are serial killers in every sign. but did you only go through the famous ones?

nah, he's not single right now but his gf lives in a different state and has for the past year or more. classic aqua detachment. i'd be surprised if he changes that situation anytime soon and for that reason alone, no, he hasn't changed a bit.

ok, i must depart for a wee bit.

the final of project runway is on.

shut it!

ok, project runway is OVAH! i'm a little surprised by the result but at the same time, i'm not.

TOC, i might get you to assist me with one of my new projects. you're opinionated and spunky. could come in handy.

uhm, i'll PM. overall, make witty and satirical observations about your life. pretty much what you do here but with the potential to earn a teeny tiiny bit of cash on the side. how much you earn is dependent upon you.

working on the skeleton now. will let you know when it's done.

nope, not like that at all.

will give you details once it's all setup.

stick with the tuna!

speaking of which, i have not a can left. is it a shame that i buy 24 cans at a time? i can only pray that they don't go extinct before i kick the stuff.

is purpley a bitchy color?

you're weird.

UGH! this color thing is killing me. i might be back later. the purple is looking too sweet 16