Cheating Husband

I met a really nice woman at my gym. We call ourselves gym buddies. She is 7 months pregnant. After our workout, we always go for ice cream and talk. She speaks of how wonderful her baby's father is and how he is so stressed about work that he cant do this and that. I really dont pay attention to much when she speaks of him, hello i have ice cream in front of me.

So today we didnt go for ice cream, her baby's father was picking her up from class. I walk out and see my friend's husband kissing her and rubbing on this woman's belly.

And yes..diarrhea of the mouth is a disease. The first thing that comes out of my mouth is "WTF". His mouth drops and she looking at me strange.

I mumble something, I dont remember what I said, I dont think it was even audible.

I dont know enough about their marriage to know if something is wrong. I know they are still together. They have 5 kids, one of them is my God daughter. I know he seems to like making babies because he got 8. Two from a prior relationship, 5 with my friend and now this woman.

I just saw my friend last week, she brought some baby clothes for me. She seemed so happy. This has really gotten me down. I dont want to tell her, but then I have this incredible guilt.

_??_?? no disrespect but this cannot be happening right now!!!! I refuse to believe this shit!!!

umm excuse me—

...I can't.
What are you even advice for exactly?

MMM....ok
should i ruin her family and tell her anyway?
should confront him and ask him what the fuck is going on?

mm how do you approach a situation like this? These people have 12 years of marriage and 5 kids.

What the fuck you think I'm asking advice about?

I'm just sayin like it's unbelievable that this happened sheesh!

Posted by BrightLights
Maybe they already know and suffer in silence.

He sounds like serial baby maker, lol!

thats why i dont want to overstep my bounds of friendship. if she already know i dont want to be the one to humiliate her futher.

Posted by Ssasy
I'm just sayin like it's unbelievable that this happened sheesh!

ok because its not happening in your world it dont happen no where else.

Im upset about this butter. that is why my pregnant ass is up late typing this butter to yall rude ass people. instead of waking up my husband telling him,

"guess what, you know_______, yea she was one of my brides maids, her husband got another woman pregnant. I been working out with her for 3 damn months. "

WTF is wrong with you people.

Ok you're angry I get that but I'm only stating what someone else said about this being awkward and bizarre in another way! In understand your concern perhaps you should tell her, the girlfriend she'd handle it from there or make him own up to it!

Moral lesson of the story: nobody is truly monogamous. lol

Posted by Arielle83
How did gym buddy even meet him? What did he do when he saw you?

She probably told me how they meet, but like I said I was zoned out on the ice cream. When he saw me his mouth literally dropped. I walked off fast and mumbled something. I was shocked. I mean, this is a 12 year marriage. Thats a long time. I feel hurt, just image how she is going to feel.

Posted by Impulsv
Tell ur wrk out partner first if she knows he's married. Nah I tell both it going to hurt her but if u were in her place would u like to know?

yes i would. 😢 I really dont want to tell my friend. She is such a good mother, she seemed to be a good wife, and an even better friend. this is absolutely horrible. i wish i never met that woman.

You should tell her, she probably already knows.. It will come out sooner or later! I would probably wait till after the baby is born though.. You don't want to get her blood pressure up and do anything to freak her totally out.. But I bet she knows already.. After the babies born I would say: damn I can't believe you and dumbass have a kid together.. You know I'm his son/daughters God Mother!!!

Posted by Impulsv
Ur Freind is pregnant as well as the lover?

no, she isnt. just the gym buddy. sorry for the confusion.

Posted by Arielle83
gym buddy seems clueless and in la la land. I wonder why he would want to create this drama! Poor kids. Maybe tell him ur goin 2 clear the air if he hasnt already! Ha! Then he will have to tell 4 sure

I am strongly considering confronting him.

DO NOT tell the gym buddy.
SHE IS PREGNANT! Stressing out a pregnant woman is not cool.
This could create major problems for the baby, including mental illness and/or a developmental disability.
Wait till she has the kid or finds out on her own.

Men have had multiple families for thousands of years.
Why get outraged about it now?

Oh Lord, I will definitely tell. That's my friend! Plus I loathe lying, two timing pieces of shit men.

My loyalty only lies with a friend, however, because when she's the one cheating I dont tell. I cant handle that.

And if a man was lying to me & my friend knew but chose not to tell me, SHE'S OUT. I dont care what her reasons are because I'm outspoken enough for them to know what kind of a person I am. I am the person that you should tell.

I was fortunate enough to have been friends with this one girl, she brought me evidence when she found out I was being lied to. I wanted to keep her forever lol. True friends just wouldnt let you look foolish. Period.

Posted by LunarMaiden
Men have had multiple families for thousands of years.
Why get outraged about it now?

Because having a mistress was acceptable then. Hell even kings did it. Now however, if a married person of high stature is found out to be cheating, his career is on thin ice. We should tell you that our society as a whole doesnt think that behaviour is cute. Plus we have hiv now so if he is going around have 9 lives like a cat, he is putting other people's lives at risk too. The wife could end up catching something & I dont want to imagine the guilt many of those that knew would feel.

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by LunarMaiden
Men have had multiple families for thousands of years.
Why get outraged about it now?

Because having a mistress was acceptable then. Hell even kings did it. Now however, if a married person of high stature is found out to be cheating, his career is on thin ice. We should tell you that our society as a whole doesnt think that behaviour is cute. Plus we have hiv now so if he is going around have 9 lives like a cat, he is putting other people's lives at risk too. The wife could end up catching something & I dont want to imagine the guilt many of those that knew would feel.

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To add on this, women at the times you mentioned had absolutely no rights. They were nothing more than homemakers. I'm sure not many were over the moon about having a cheating husband but they turned a blind eye mostly because they had no laws protecting them against a cheating spouse. Times have changed, however, we have a right now to choose what works for us & what doesnt. It would be dumb to live by the laws of the past with all the changes that have taken place in our society. We can vote, we can wear pants, we no longer HAVE TO cover our heads, etc. For men to have gotten away with that back then, it doesnt make it normal...it was just a different era.

Well, he's seen you with your gym buddy now... So he knows you know and he knows you know he knows you know.
I might sit tight for a week or so. If he's up shit creek without a paddle I have a feeling he'll be approaching you.
And then you go from there.

Well I went to water aerobics today. Guess who was waiting for me when I got out of the gym. the gym buddy... I did not want to see her. After reading all of your views on the whole thing I decided to tell my friend first. But there she was looking at me with this worried look on her face.

He told her he didnt know me. And he didnt know what that was about..LOL. I told her I had to go and told her not to worry. Basically I was going over to my in laws, they had some ribs on the grill and she was in my way!

So I called my friend and asked her could she come over and help me with the baby room. The furniture was delivered this morning and I need to finish painting. So she is coming over this evening, she is so excited. I dont even know how im going to say anything, to her.

updates later, thank you all. now back to my ribs.

Are you sure that other lady's baby was his, just because he was rubbing it? Strangers are always rubbing pregnant woman bellies.

Nm I didn't see the bit about him kissing her

You are doing the right thing. The only thing I would have done different is I would have gone to your friends house the night of you seeing him with this pregnant woman when the kids were asleep and put it all on the table WITH BOTH OF THEM there, and then made him tell her what is going on.

Married twelve years with five kids..2 prior. When did he become a father? @ 15?

FWIW...if he's not paying child support for the first 2, he's definitely not going to for the five...

What a guy...

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
I would hate being in the situation you are in.

I would probably disappear from all of them to never been seen again 😛

It's like a real live Jerry Springer program.

Good luck!

Even from your friend when she may need you most? :/

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry

Posted by munchkin

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
I would hate being in the situation you are in.

I would probably disappear from all of them to never been seen again 😛

It's like a real live Jerry Springer program.

Good luck!

Even from your friend when she may need you most? :/

I was being facetious. (hence the smiley)

I really don't know what I would do and hope that I'm never ever in that situation.

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hurr durrr. The fuckin smiley! xD

safe to say, day 1 of No-Caffeine is not working out. 😛

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
*sneaks you an espresso*

I'd like to come off as all tough and say I'd confront the husband/boyfriend......but if it came down to it, I'd probably freeze.

Those kinds of things can backfire.

You never want to get in between a husband and wife.....nobody really knows but them what kind of relationship they have. You are just an outsider looking in.

*chugs down espresso like an addict*

As for me, I'd probably try to lure her into walking in on it herself:

Me: "Hey girl can we go in on a Tues or Thurs anywhere from 7:00-7:10PM to help me find my fur scarf I think I left in there?"

Her: "okie doke!"

*walk in together*

"Aha!"

Her to him: "You cheating fuck! I'm through with you. "

Posted by feby16aqua
I wouldn't say anything, btw. Things like that always have a way of coming out in the wash anyway. Why stress her out like that when she is pregnant. Just keep it in your mind...it will remind you to hug her close more often now.

The friend that's being cheated on is not pregnant but has five kids with this creep. He's fooling around on her^^^ with a woman who he also got pregnant.

I'd venture to say he's been screwing around on your friend through all five kids. I'm sure he did the same with the woman he had two kids with before her. You need to tell your friend what's going on before he knocks her up with a 6th kid. That's something she DOESN'T need. He needs to get his wang snipped. I'd again personally tell her he's screwing around with him standing there.

Posted by tiziani
Every time I read the story I end up more confused. I don't even know who is who.

the ambiguity of pronouns!

Posted by chemengin
MMM....ok
should i ruin her family and tell her anyway?
should confront him and ask him what the fuck is going on?

mm how do you approach a situation like this? These people have 12 years of marriage and 5 kids.

What the fuck you think I'm asking advice about?

Well 1st of all you wouldn't be ruining their marriage. HE ruined their marriage. He did long before you caught him. Long before you even had the idea of telling his wife.

If this woman was your friend, I'd def. tell her. If honesty & keeping it real is important any other time in a friendship, I think you'd pick the wrong F'ing time to withhold valuable info like that when it's REALLY time to keep it all the way real!

Sometimes you have to do what's right, regardless of the reaction you think you may or may not get. How she/he reacts is out of your control. If she means anything to you, then tell her like you'd want someone to tell you. And just b/c 2 people look happy in public doesn't mean that their homefront is all sh****ts and giggles. If this guy has 8 children with multiple mothers, trust me, his wife probably wouldn't put it past him to be somewhat a lady's man, especially if she knew about his past before her and him crossed paths

However, if this married lady is not really your friend, then keep your mouth shut. The only people you owe your undivided loyalty to are those you actually value. If you don't even value his mistress as a person or friend, don't tell her either.

If you only snitch if the person is valuable to you, then that leaves no room for someone to question your credibility or tell you to butt out. After all, when 2 people care about each other, regardless of what they are to each other (friends, spouses, family, etc.), it'll hurt them to see the other person hurt. Nothing unusual or wrong about that. It's completely F'd up, backwards and downright suspicious if another person tries to guilt you for being loyal to the person they just so happened to be F'ing over at the moment

If neither of those women mean anything to you personally, then don't say a word. Just chalk it up to you witnessing yet another man F'ing over his wife.

Posted by munchkin

Posted by tiziani
Every time I read the story I end up more confused. I don't even know who is who.

the ambiguity of pronouns!

click to expand

True it is ambiguous, I shouldn't have typed in the dark and while I was upset.

My friend came over today. I sat her down and told her what happened. It was HORRIBLE! She didnt know. She kept swearing to God and saying, " I didnt know, I didnt know". She called and asked her mother to take the kids to her house for a few days. She sobbed for 3 hours.
I'm not telling the gym buddy anything. I will leave that up to him. I am out of it, now.

I just feel so horrible. I feel like I just broke my friends heart. I know he did it. But to see her like that. I have no words.

She just kept telling my thank you and that she loved me. We have known each other since we were 13 years old.

I put this on here because I didnt want to tell ANYONE in my immediate circle. I didnt want to spread her business to people in our circle, because its not my business to tell.
Thank you all!
😢

Posted by BrightLights
I knew a woman who slept with 2 brothers and had baby with each, back to back.

Eeek!

It was her husband's younger brother too and she seduced him when he was just a teenager.

what the hell is wrong with people! Eeek that is disgusting!

I'm sorry for your friend and for you. And the other woman! That's too much. I'm sure she appreciates hearing it from someone who actually cares about her.

You're very brave and a good friend. I wouldn't go back to that gym if I were you. Lock yourself off from everyone but your friend and don't let the other two parties drag you into the mess. Take care of yourself and your baby.

Posted by BrightLights
I'd hate to be in either of those women's shoes.

He sounds like he has issues.

Yeah, like he doesn't know how to use a fucking condom.

You did better than I did after learning about my friend's cheating husband. The woman texted my friend saying she fucked her husband in my friend's shower. Me, being the level headed individual that I am, responded by saying somebody needs to SHIT in HER shower.
Long story short, the husband calls my friend while we're working. He was very hesitant but polite when he asked, "Do you know anything about the shit, in Traci's shower?"

LoL That was a good summer.

Posted by LunarMaiden
DO NOT tell the gym buddy.
SHE IS PREGNANT! Stressing out a pregnant woman is not cool.
This could create major problems for the baby, including mental illness and/or a developmental disability.

...no.

Posted by LunarMaiden
Men have had multiple families for thousands of years.
Why get outraged about it now?

click to expand

...just stop talking please. Your outlook is disgusting.

I'm shocked LunarMaiden said all that.

Posted by feby16aqua
I wouldn't say anything, btw. Things like that always have a way of coming out in the wash anyway. Why stress her out like that when she is pregnant. Just keep it in your mind...it will remind you to hug her close more often now.

Okay people, if she's working out while pregnant, stress will not affect her that badly. These are pregnant women, not feeble, frail, individuals that will die at the drop of a hat. Get over that mentality toward pregnant women.

...unless she decided to start working out AFTER she got pregnant. Then there's more to consider. :/

Posted by chemengin
My friend came over today. I sat her down and told her what happened. It was HORRIBLE! She didnt know. She kept swearing to God and saying, " I didnt know, I didnt know". She called and asked her mother to take the kids to her house for a few days. She sobbed for 3 hours.
I'm not telling the gym buddy anything. I will leave that up to him. I am out of it, now.

I just feel so horrible. I feel like I just broke my friends heart. I know he did it. But to see her like that. I have no words.

She just kept telling my thank you and that she loved me. We have known each other since we were 13 years old.

I put this on here because I didnt want to tell ANYONE in my immediate circle. I didnt want to spread her business to people in our circle, because its not my business to tell.
Thank you all!
😢

click to expand

STOP thinking like this. REAL friends tell eachother when this shit goes down. It's why she thanked you for telling her. Our society has brainwashed people into being afraid to hurt feelings because telling the truth is oh so bad and "omgz, I feel so bad because it's all about me and my feelings and I hurt her, and it's bad to feel like the 'bad' guy, ohnoes." Not you per se, but as a whole, this is how society handles problems. See dipshit's response previously into being apathetic and just not wanting TO DO THE RIGHT THING.

What you did was the right thing. If she's been your friend that long, she deserves you looking out for her if you see some shit like this going down. What if you hadn't told her and it came to light and she found out that you knew all along? Then you'd look like some passive dick that allowed her bff to get fucked over by this twat of a man.

Posted by kim30
I'm shocked LunarMaiden said all that.

I'm not. A good portion of the individuals here are reality evading morons.

Chemengin, you really did the right thing. Rockyroad is right. Think of all the likely ways she could've found out and how much more damage could've been added. With her children around? With no one to turn to?
A friend of so many years who loves and supports her was probably the safest place for her. And really, after all she has to deal with, did she need to find out later on that you knew and said nothing? That would've been horrible.

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by Arielle83
8 kids to support, hope he's rich

lol it's funny that Cancers are the one concerned about economics. lol i said the same thing

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I just assumed he wasn't paying for shit. How could he when he's going around dicking everybody? I can't stand his ass and I don't even know him. Ugh.

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by Arielle83
8 kids to support, hope he's rich

lol it's funny that Cancers are the one concerned about economics. lol i said the same thing

click to expand

No, he's a store manager at Target.

That's a decent salary for a family of three.

8 plus kids and cheating. Jackass.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by chemengin
My friend came over today. I sat her down and told her what happened. It was HORRIBLE! She didnt know. She kept swearing to God and saying, " I didnt know, I didnt know". She called and asked her mother to take the kids to her house for a few days. She sobbed for 3 hours.
I'm not telling the gym buddy anything. I will leave that up to him. I am out of it, now.

I just feel so horrible. I feel like I just broke my friends heart. I know he did it. But to see her like that. I have no words.

She just kept telling my thank you and that she loved me. We have known each other since we were 13 years old.

I put this on here because I didnt want to tell ANYONE in my immediate circle. I didnt want to spread her business to people in our circle, because its not my business to tell.
Thank you all!
😢

STOP thinking like this. REAL friends tell eachother when this shit goes down. It's why she thanked you for telling her. Our society has brainwashed people into being afraid to hurt feelings because telling the truth is oh so bad and "omgz, I feel so bad because it's all about me and my feelings and I hurt her, and it's bad to feel like the 'bad' guy, ohnoes." Not you per se, but as a whole, this is how society handles problems. See dipshit's response previously into being apathetic and just not wanting TO DO THE RIGHT THING.

What you did was the right thing. If she's been your friend that long, she deserves you looking out for her if you see some shit like this going down. What if you hadn't told her and it came to light and she found out that you knew all along? Then you'd look like some passive dick that allowed her bff to get fucked over by this twat of a man.

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Your right Rocky, I know you are. I can just hit him in the balls with a bat for the way he did her. To see her sob like that, broke my heart.

Posted by size zero superhero

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by BrightLights
I'd hate to be in either of those women's shoes.

He sounds like he has issues.

Yeah, like he doesn't know how to use a fucking condom.

Amen to that. Not only did this guy cheat but to top it off, he was careless enough to impregnate his mistress w/a lovechild...meanwhile he already has a brood of existing children with his wife, whom he's still married to.

What a disgrace 😢 for real.

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Right? I had a coworker who kept "accidentally" having kids. Turns out condoms didn't "work." I gave him a total wtf look and was like, "SO TIE A RUBBER BAND AROUND IT." I mean how the hell do you say that condoms don't work??

How do you "accidentally" have so many kids? Sure, there are occasions where shit happens, no matter what precautions, but when a guy has that many kids by various women, he's the common denominator.

Someone sterilize this jerk. :/