Child Discipline..........

Do you agree or disagree that a major problem with children today in the world is because parents are affraid to discipline them.

And do you think that kids deserver to be spanked on the bottom with a hand?

I think that all kids need to be discipined, it helps them to be well rounded individuals. I dont mind spanding my step children so that they know what they did is wrong.

I will try not to spank my future children...but I'm a little torn on this issue because as a child I was spanked, and looking back I don't feel like I was beaten, or my spirit crushed or anything like that. I was even spanked with a belt a few times. But I can assure you that whatever I was being spanked for, I made sure never to do it again! lol. In some ways I think it's made me have more respect for authority, my elders, etc, but in some respects I think it made me more afraid to be assertive than I should have been...too cautious about some things...resentful of my father particularly until my late teens...lol, well you can see how I'm torn!

Ok, here's the deal.

It is alright to punish your children as long as you dont resort to PERSONAL INSULTS aimed at assassinating their character. The only time i would ever hit or spank a child is if all else had failed and if i had to do that i would send them to their room immediately so they would know they'd done something wrong but wouldnt feel degraded by having to hang around me and my disgruntled mood afterwards! It is important to be pragmatic in your discipline and not personal.

The best way to punish a child (or perhaps anybody for that matter) is to let them know their behaviour is inappropriate/wrong and to show them an ALTERNATIVE behaviour. For example, if they are not sharing take the thing off them and tell them they can have it back only if they share. We learned all about this in psych this year.

I s'pose i believe the best way to discipline a child is to take something away that they like or enjoy. I would avoid hitting if i could. Set yourselves up on a reward system.

I dont feel that there is anything wrong with spanking children. As long as it is ur hand to thier behind that is ok.....no belts etc. I would never hit my kid anywhere else at any given time.

Phoenix and Libra,

I appreciate you words of wisdom, and I agree with you for the most part, however:

There are so many different forms of discipline and it takes most of them to sometimes instill in a child that what he/she has done wrong is wrong. I never spank my son or my duaghter without telling then why they got their spanking. I don't beat them either, I realize that I am a fairly strong male, and that if I was to spank either one of them out of anger, I could potentionaly hurt them.

Discipline is always a hard thing and a lot of parents have a hard time following through. Both my son and daughter have learned that basically if you dont do what you are told, and daddy has to get up, then some form of discipline will happen.

Thanks again for your words.

-MarineSag

Marinesag,

That's fair enough. As long as they know what they've done. I think in dire circumstances a hand to the bottom is (probably, i still havent decided) ok, i suppose it is more for the shock value than anything else. I have never had to discipline my own child as i dont have any but ive had to discipline other peoples children before and ive done so using words. They havent been my children however so its different. Im still not sure as to whether i would smack a child. I probably would and then do what you said. I was hit as a child and the hand on bottom thing didnt bother me, it was the other stuff that did 🙂

I definitely think discipline is a necessary part of raising a child. I just wish every parent had the presence of mind and logical approach that scorpio woman and marinesag have. There are too many parents that can't distinguish between a swat on the rear-end versus losing control on their kids. Oh how I wish it was impossible for ppl to have children without being emotionally/mentally screened first...lol.

Thanks for the compliment phoenix- I apperciate that. We are good at giving the kids a swap on the butt...but in no means ever hurt them. 🙂

No problem scorpio woman, I can tell that the two of you have that thing that so many lack these days: good old fashioned, no frills common sense! : )

Thanks Phoneix....She does have a very strong head on her shoulders. That is one of the many reason I love her an want to make her my wife.....

Thanks again

Hey no problem MarineSag--I'm rooting for the two of you! : )

Oh phoenix- you sre so nice. I was looking at ur pro and u are only a year or so older then I am and in saying that for your age you are very mature and u seem to know what u want out of life and that is great, people our age usually dont tend to be that way. Thanks for your kind words.

IMO, If you are hitting on your children, then you are the one who is out of control! I would not hit a child! There should be no reason why you cannot talk to them. If you have to, take something away that they like. Reward and punishment works better, and be consistent! Kids like consistency! We always knew when we crossed the line with my dad; you would get the evil eye! Which meant, you had better grab a hold of your butt and straighten it out, or else $ % # $ ^! Then again, my dad is Scorpio. I have seen his temper and it is scary!

Well I feel that if that is the only way that u can get thier attention there is not anything wrong with it. MarineSag and I are a couple and he doesnt beat the kids. He also lets them know why they have been spanked. Kids need dicipline and if spanking thier kids is the way to get thier attention and to make them think of what they did and know it was wrong is fine.

I thought I posted on this opinion...but, it didn't show!

OK. Spanking is not the ideal, and should not be the primary method of discipline. (I thought I wouldn't EVER spank my children...but, I also thought I would play with Barbie dolls for the rest of my life!! LOL!)

The only way that worked to teach my small, energetic, ever playful, cute, sweet, vulnerable daughter NOT to run out into the street was to swat her bottom. She learned and I am proud to say she is still alive at age 14!
Sometimes circumstances call for quick action and yet, a point must be made!

My favorite disciplinary technique was the one she hated most! I would state the facts and ask her what she would do if she were me...I would ask what she thought her punishment would be, and whatever she came up with, I would implement...as long as I was in agreement with it and I usually was, because she was actually harder on herself than I would have been in the first place. This was very effective for me! But, the child has to be old enough to reason and to realize 'cause and effect'...

Well there are some kids that are too small to tell you what they think thier punishment should be. I agree that thier are diffrent ways in which to dicipine children, but alot of times it is hard to get a 3 yr od and a 5 yr old to pay enough attention to you to get them to be responsive, now after they do get a spankin.....they are told what they got one for and we will always tell them why.

Yes, as I said, 'the child has to be old enough to reason'...didn't you read what I wrote?

I read what u wrote, do not get smart, there is no need.