Do you guys mind if your man chats with women onli

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by twinkee77 on Thursday, May 1, 2003 and has 20 replies.

Profile picture of phoenix_rising
@phoenix_rising
21 Years5,000+ Posts

Yep, that would bother me. I don't have a man anymore, but it would bother me hypothetically speaking. It's weird. It's unecessary. It's kinda disrespectful.

Profile picture of M_ays0n
@M_ays0n
21 YearsScorpio

thats alittle too serious... no pun.

if there is trust involved... it should be coo.

Profile picture of phoenix_rising
@phoenix_rising
21 Years5,000+ Posts

Maybe I'm the crazy one...it's not that I would actually tell him, "you cannot talk to other women online"...but I would think it, and I would start to resent him for feeling the need to do it in the first place.

Profile picture of M_ays0n
@M_ays0n
21 YearsScorpio

i feel ya... i gottcha, just thought you meant banning the person to ever talk to another female

cuz that would be kind of too controlling.

Profile picture of phoenix_rising
@phoenix_rising
21 Years5,000+ Posts

Yeah, I know what you mean. Controlling isn't good. I guess my thing is not so much being outwardly controlling, I mean I'll make it seem like it's okay, but eventually the issue will surface in some other fight about some stupid thing. So I think in my future relationships (if I ever freaking have another one), I'm going to lay it all on the line from day one. I'll just say, "these are the things I'm okay with and these are the things I'm not okay with. If you can deal with that, then we can be together. If not, then we can't. You have six seconds to make a decision."...LOL, I'm just kidding on that last part. But I'm definitely going to be a lot more upfront in future relationships.

Profile picture of phoenix_rising
@phoenix_rising
21 Years5,000+ Posts

But I do have a question: as a guy, why would you want to chat with other women online if you're happy with your girlfriend? And in the event that you're not happy with your girlfriend, why must you torture her and put her through pain by not simply ending the relationship before you start messing around on her, rather than keeping multiple women in your life at the same time?

Profile picture of M_ays0n
@M_ays0n
21 YearsScorpio

ah yes... what happens to us also happens to the opposite sex.

and it is no lie. why complicate a relationship with controlling boundaries when you could just lay it with a good foundation of honesty and trust. lay back and just have fun, the more you control the more you push away... thats just me.

Profile picture of M_ays0n
@M_ays0n
21 YearsScorpio

if the other half cheats... it ends there. besides the guilty party will carry the looming burden of infidelity, and insensitivity.

Profile picture of twinkee77
@twinkee77
21 YearsGemini

Well, thanks for your comments guys. Let me clear something up. He loves me and I know this. He works at night and I work during the day. We live together pretty much. So to pass time he does this while i am at work. It has never been hidden from me. He told me he does it for fun only. Never been a secret. Now what do you think?

Profile picture of twinkee77
@twinkee77
21 YearsGemini

Let me also add that I have posted this issue on other forums with women. Only women say this is negative. Must be some slight trust issues or insecuriy with women cause my man has told me he does not care one bit that i chat with men online. It's a woman thing I guess

Profile picture of Morganofmind
@Morganofmind
21 Years1,000+ Posts

I wouldn't OBJECT if my guy talked online with women... Of course he would under go riggerous interigation if he chatted with the same women over and over again and I didn't know the people personally.

Profile picture of cj7
@cj7
21 Years1,000+ Posts

i guess something to consider is trust. i can say for myself that if i felt secure in the relationship, i dont think it would bother me, but if we were having problems i know i would start anylizing things looking for the cause, and that situation would definitely have to be investigated.

Profile picture of phoenix_rising
@phoenix_rising
21 Years5,000+ Posts

I don't ever feel secure in relationships, so that's why I would always have a problem with that behavior. But maybe that's because I always pick such winners to go out with. 🙂