Funny Mishaps & Scenarios During Sex

We've all had them.

Guys: did you cum so hard that you accidentally sharted?

Ladies: did you accidentally let him go down on you when you had yeast infection cream on your hoo-ha?

Share your stories, folks!

Anal.

Reverse cowgirl.

She and I came.

She hopped off while I was still hard.

Dick slung back and splattered truffle butter in my face.

I was dating this Leo guy that looked like a dark-haired Bradley Cooper for a couple of months. One night, I finally decided I was going to "land the deal". We went out for drinks, started getting hot and heavy in the parking lot afterwards...then headed back to his place.

I wanted to blow him so bad. Because he was about as close to Bradley Cooper as I was going to get. Nevermind he was the Best Value version. Anyway, there I am in my black mini-dress, hair straightened(it's naturally curly), and with my heels still on. I was looking fly as hell...and he wanted it BADLY.

I dropped to my knees, raunchy XVideos- style , unzipped his pants, took his pork sword out and went to town. He was in heaven. I was proud of myself.

Him: "I'm about to cum, baby...where do you want me to put it—"

My dumb ass: "In my mouth, babe..."

He came in my mouth and as soon as that shit hit my taste buds, I projectile vomited all over his dick and legs. He thought it was the alcohol from earlier.

No, motherfucker, it was your cum that tasted like boiled hotdog water and spoiled milk.

Posted by xXxBitcheroniiiXxX

Posted by Reciprocity8

I was dating this Leo guy that looked like a dark-haired Bradley Cooper for a couple of months. One night, I finally decided I was going to "land the deal". We went out for drinks, started getting hot and heavy in the parking lot afterwards...then headed back to his place.

I wanted to blow him so bad. Because he was about as close to Bradley Cooper as I was going to get. Nevermind he was the Best Value version. Anyway, there I am in my black mini-dress, hair straightened(it's naturally curly), and with my heels still on. I was looking fly as hell...and he wanted it BADLY.

I dropped to my knees, raunchy XVideos- style , unzipped his pants, took his pork sword out and went to town. He was in heaven. I was proud of myself.

Him: "I'm about to cum, baby...where do you want me to put it—"

My dumb ass: "In my mouth, babe..."

He came in my mouth and as soon as that shit hit my taste buds, I projectile vomited all over his dick and legs. He thought it was the alcohol from earlier.

No, motherfucker, it was your cum that tasted like hotdog water and spoiled milk.

God that's awful.

Dirty dick ass..

click to expand

I honestly think it was his diet. I don't think men realize how much that affects their taste.

Take notes, men!

Posted by Reciprocity8

Him: "I'm about to cum, baby...where do you want me to put it—"

My dumb ass: "In my mouth, babe..."

He came in my mouth and as soon as that shit hit my taste buds, I projectile vomited all over his dick and legs. He thought it was the alcohol from earlier.

No, motherfucker, it was your cum that tasted like boiled hotdog water and spoiled milk.

Aw and you expected it to taste like Bradley Cooper spunk lol

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Reciprocity8

Him: "I'm about to cum, baby...where do you want me to put it—"

My dumb ass: "In my mouth, babe..."

He came in my mouth and as soon as that shit hit my taste buds, I projectile vomited all over his dick and legs. He thought it was the alcohol from earlier.

No, motherfucker, it was your cum that tasted like boiled hotdog water and spoiled milk.

Aw and you expected it to taste like Bradley Cooper spunk lol

click to expand

Maybe it did.

@enfant_terrible Nope. Just regular unspoilt spunk. 😊

Are you offended because he's a Leo? Jeez, man.

Posted by JustBrowsing

A Cancer woman and I were once discovered banging pretty hard during a camping trip at a local State Park by an elderly couple. 😁

Did you finish, though—

Posted by HeartofTopazz

I have a few. This one was from when I was in my early 20s... we were really drunk and he thought he was fingering my tootz, but he was really fingering my beehole. He was really going at it so I started busting up laughing and told him then he said “IDC I love it” and eventually tried to switch holes and use the same finger. I told him to skedaddle.

😂 That happened to me too. Well, kinda. I'd been intimate with someone, but it had only been anal sex. He asks me if I want to go get Plan B afterwards...I'm like, "Please tell me you're not serious. Dude, you know how sex works, right? You DO know you can't get someone pregnant through their ass, right?"

Oy. I swear. I'm like two bad situations away from just becoming a nun or a romantic atheist.

And to make matters worse, the schlep had a fucking condom on.

When I was 17 I hooked up with this dude I had a huge crush on throughout high school.

He had a shower sex fantasy, but his shower was small and there were no supports for any of the sex positions in my repertoire back then.

So I compromised with him and we settled on just a blowjob in the shower. As I was getting into it I felt him start playing with my hair so I opened my eyes (they were closed since water was sporadically dripping on my face) to look up and smile/laugh at him, but I felt this stinging sensation in my eyes as soon as I opened them. Turns out he was shampooing my hair while I was going down on him.

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by JustBrowsing

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by JustBrowsing

A Cancer woman and I were once discovered banging pretty hard during a camping trip at a local State Park by an elderly couple. 😁

Did you finish, though—

Hell yeah, one of the biggest creampies of our lives! 🤣

https://giphy.com/gifs/thisisgiphy-reaction-audience-l4HodBpDmoMA5p9bG

Posted by JustBrowsing

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by JustBrowsing

A Cancer woman and I were once discovered banging pretty hard during a camping trip at a local State Park by an elderly couple. 😁

Did you finish, though—

Hell yeah, one of the biggest creampies of our lives! 🤣

click to expand

Posted by Reciprocity8

And to make matters worse, the schlep had a fucking condom on.

You should’ve played along. Yeah babe I need plan b. Spot me a $ 50?

Posted by LethalFantasia

Posted by Whorpio

When I was 17 I hooked up with this dude I had a huge crush on throughout high school.

He had a shower sex fantasy, but his shower was small and there were no supports for any of the sex positions in my repertoire back then.

So I compromised with him and we settled on just a blowjob in the shower. As I was getting into it I felt him start playing with my hair so I opened my eyes (they were closed since water was sporadically dripping on my face) to look up and smile/laugh at him, but I felt this stinging sensation in my eyes as soon as I opened them. Turns out he was shampooing my hair while I was going down on him.

LMFAO

I am fucking dead. This is like a scene from a movie or something. God what a hilarious dude that guy must have been. LOLOLOL.

click to expand