How to empathize?

As a Virgo-Libra cusper, I tend to have no feels at all... so it's kind of hard for me empathize with people. How do I change this? Any advice? I'm scared because I will become a lawyer in less than a year. My lack of feels might drive potential clients away. 😢

@bitchcrafts, I ain't attention-whoring (this time)! This is a REAL PROBLEM!!! @_@

Posted by CluelessCancer
That's sad. For all the intellectual prowess Virgos are pretty dumb.

If you can't empathize you're not human

LOL.

Actually, I can only empathize if I have severe problems myself... like what happened a couple of weeks ago... but now that my problems are gone, I came back to being a Vulcan. @_@

Posted by CluelessCancer
I find empathy and ability to tap into emotions a sign of intellect. So that's why I don't find Virgos smart.

CC, I don't know what you're talking about. What's the connection between emotions and intellect?

Posted by b1tchcrafts
You should drink, that solves everything 😄

I don't drink. I'm scared. @_@

By the way, I only have ONE water placement (Pluto in Scorpio). I can't empathize easily. I even laugh sometimes. @_@

Posted by b1tchcrafts
Don't worry Pluto is in Capricorn...

Just offer your clients opium

That's criminally prohibited... and I don't want to go to jail. @_@

Posted by CluelessCancer
Ppl are power if you can't empathize and understand where they're coming from. You've lost a very great opportunity.

I don't consider ppl who are just book smart to be intelligent. I think you have to have the whole package. Ppl smarts.

Practice empathy dude and ya you only cared cause you're going through something that's very very selfish. Get your head out of the sand and start paying ATTN to others

I'm trying... but sometimes I appear fake. I don't know what to do now. @_@

Posted by firebunny
As a Virgo-Libra cusper, I tend to have no feels at all... so it's kind of hard for me empathize with people. How do I change this? Any advice? I'm scared because I will become a lawyer in less than a year. My lack of feels might drive potential clients away. 😢

People don't expect feelings from lawyers. That's not even good for the trust. They want mind machines.

1. they trust the mind machine better.

2. they would hold less information back which might be important for the process.

Posted by DwellingOnMove

Posted by firebunny
As a Virgo-Libra cusper, I tend to have no feels at all... so it's kind of hard for me empathize with people. How do I change this? Any advice? I'm scared because I will become a lawyer in less than a year. My lack of feels might drive potential clients away. 😢

People does not expect feelings from lawyers. That's not even good for the trust. They want mind machines.

1. they trust the mind machine better.

2. they would hold less information back which might be important for the process.

click to expand

Hmmm... That's kind of counter-intuitive but if that's the case then I should just maintain the status quo. I hope you could elaborate on this one though. Thanks!

Posted by CluelessCancer
Fake it till you make it.

It can be done through practice?

Thank you soooo much, CC! Please do come to my graduation party! The venue is at Legazpi City, Philippines. It's 45 minutes by plane from Manila! 😛

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by firebunny

Posted by CluelessCancer
Fake it till you make it.

It can be done through practice?

Yes like everything. I couldn't paint over two months ago now I have completed five painting.

click to expand

Wow congrats CC! I want to paint too. Impressionism is my favorite style. 🙂

You are offering competency.

Your creative approach is important.

Your data base type of brain is important.

Feelings and grimace are for incompetent people. This is what street people think. They think they can manipulate you. So judge can manipulate you. So you are using them as labor bunny.

If they don't see grimace on your face they assign a higher extent of independenc and authority to you.

Once you are old, you have (through life experiences) a higher EQ and social competency. But in that age you are needed for other challenges. Other roles.

Posted by DwellingOnMove
You are offering competency.

Your creative approach is important.

Your data base type of brain is important.

Feelings and grimace are for incompetent people. This is what street people think. They think they can manipulate you. So judge can manipulate you. So you are using them as labor bunny.

If they don't see grimace on your face they assign a higher extent of independenc and authority to you.

Once you are old, you have (through life experiences) a higher EQ and social competency. But in that age you are needed for other challenges. Other roles.

Do most people prefer lawyers who don't show facial expressions?

The lack of facial expression :: poker face -> uneasy to manipulate, too clever, hides something, knows a lot.

This is how I see it. Also lawyers who are too kind a promise a lot, I get cautious with them. As a Cat/Hare.

But don't you have a big intuition as a rabbit? Aren't you a master of diplomacy? Tactfullness? Ethics? Read the texts again.

Even as a Virgo you have those salesman talents which attract new clients.

I don't see a single problem with you.

Posted by DwellingOnMove
But don't you have a big intuition as a rabbit?

I am fairly good at gambling coz I have strong intuition. Lol.

Aren't you a master of diplomacy? Tactfullness?

Unfortunately, I am a Virgo too, which makes me sharp-tongued at times. Leo Moon also aggravates tactlessness. @_@

Ethics?

Once I understand an ethical principle, I hold on to it, and don't get easily-swayed.

Read the texts again.

Even as a Virgo you have those salesman talents which attract new clients.

I haven't experienced selling anything to anyone... but if that's the case, I would know maybe next year. I hope you are right.

I don't see a single problem with you.

Thanks.

Lol. Quote failure.

Aren't you a rabbit too, Dwelling? 🙂

ya 😉

Empathy is simple. Take any situation and put yourself in it. How would you feel? Someone you love dies. How would you feel? You fail or get kicked out of university. How would you feel? Other than that, I don't know what to day. I have the opposite problem, which is I have lots of water in my chart and empathizing comes effortlessly.

"I haven't experienced selling anything to anyone"

can you get your friends/family to do things you want? so that you know what would change their mind.

Posted by MoonArtist
Empathy is simple. Take any situation and put yourself in it. How would you feel? Someone you love dies. How would you feel? You fail or get kicked out of university. How would you feel? Other than that, I don't know what to day. I have the opposite problem, which is I have lots of water in my chart and empathizing comes effortlessly.

I almost always feel relieved whenever I hear people say their problems. @_@

Posted by DwellingOnMove
"I haven't experienced selling anything to anyone"

can you get your friends/family to do things you want? so that you know what would change their mind.

I hardly notice. I don't remember. I will get back to this once I remember. @_@

Posted by firebunny

Posted by MoonArtist
Empathy is simple. Take any situation and put yourself in it. How would you feel? Someone you love dies. How would you feel? You fail or get kicked out of university. How would you feel? Other than that, I don't know what to day. I have the opposite problem, which is I have lots of water in my chart and empathizing comes effortlessly.

I almost always feel relieved whenever I hear people say their problems. @_@

click to expand

I have to limit how much of the news I watch. Someone loses a child, etc. and I'm crying for them.

My personal observation on lawyers: be genuine, be warm and friendly, be professional, be polite, be ethical, and know your profession inside and out, fight for your client, give them the best advice, and don't fall for cheap parlor trick tactics and manipulation by the opposition, and that will make one a great lawyer. The best ones don't even advertise or list themselves, let alone have websites, because they're so good they still get a stellar reputation by word of mouth, and still have plenty of clients.

Cat/Rabbit/Hare is an egoist. It does not really care. It has some kind of empathy which is melanchloic like Virgo. But all what a rabbit is thinking is how to land on the four paws.

My family knew how I was full of feelings which could not kill me. But cause the horoscope writes rabbits are suicidal they still care not to involve me in difficult situations.

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by firebunny

Posted by MoonArtist
Empathy is simple. Take any situation and put yourself in it. How would you feel? Someone you love dies. How would you feel? You fail or get kicked out of university. How would you feel? Other than that, I don't know what to day. I have the opposite problem, which is I have lots of water in my chart and empathizing comes effortlessly.

I almost always feel relieved whenever I hear people say their problems. @_@

I have to limit how much of the news I watch. Someone loses a child, etc. and I'm crying for them.

My personal observation on lawyers: be genuine, be warm and friendly, be professional, be polite, be ethical, and know your profession inside and out, fight for your client, give them the best advice, and don't fall for cheap parlor trick tactics and manipulation by the opposition, and that will make one a great lawyer. The best ones don't even advertise or list themselves, let alone have websites, because they're so good they still get a stellar reputation by word of mouth, and still have plenty of clients.

click to expand

Those are challenges to me. Maybe CC is right. It might take some practice. But Dwelling might be right on some though. There should be a balance, I guess...

Posted by DwellingOnMove
Cat/Rabbit/Hare is an egoist. It does not really care. It has some kind of empathy which is melanchloic like Virgo. But all what a rabbit is thinking is how to land on the four paws.

My family knew how I was full of feelings which could not kill me. But cause the horoscope writes rabbits are suicidal they still care not to involve me in difficult situations.

The rabbit is all about survival. It almost always feels that way. We may be smart/intelligent but we are also physically and emotionally weak/fragile. @_@

Kim is right. Virgo is called the healer. some suggests that chiron co-rules virgo. Feeling empathy must be available. also the desire to help. what is lacking is to show the empathic face. or maybe bunny is mad at himself why he does not cry for them. I donno. I talk too much. I gotta go.

I dunno, dwelling. Perhaps it is true. But I am a Virgo-Libra cusper so I do tend to appear superficial to most people. The truth is, I do understand. But most of the times, I have mixed emotions: both of sadness and relief. @_@

^^a cute one though. i'm fairly good-looking. 😛

Posted by CluelessCancer
It's called emotional intelligence.

+1

I tend to have lots of empathy towards poor people. I just don't have much to many others.

Another Virgo thing I don't relate to.

I'm a Virgo with my moon also in Virgo and empathizing with the suffering of others is second nature to me. Expressing sympathy on the other hand, no. I don't express sympathy because I believe in the integrity of getting through personal ordeals on our own and getting out of it stronger and feeling liberated. I feel that giving sympathy often enables the person suffering to remain in that state because sympathy justifies the suffering. Sympathy means well but actually does not help.

em??pa??thize
??emp—?TH??z/Submit

verb

understand and share the feelings of another.

I understand but I don't share the feelings of another. I blame it on my lack of water and on my being a Virgo-Libra cusper.

Posted by CluelessCancer

What— You can't express sympathy. Wtf is wrong with you. You're analysis doesn't even make sense. How did you even come to that conclusion. Was there a scientific study done. I call be on your comment

We definitely can express sympathy and it is often expressed in the form of "pity". "Condolence" even states itself in the dictionary as, "an expression of sympathy". Sympathy is not a solitary word. We feel sympathy but once expressed it is described as something else. I'm assuming this is why you say we cannot express sympathy.

I arrived at the conclusion that expressing sympathy—even with a look can enable someone suffering to remain in the state because I have lived it—experienced it first hand when my father kept physically kicking my and my brother's asses and forcefully pushing our heads forward ahead of him in front of everyone at the mall to express his irritation and disappointment simply because we made him wait too long and he had to search the place for us. The looks we kept getting were so heavy. This was particularly difficult to forgive myself for because too many people witnessed the abuse and justified that I was suffering with the unspoken pity in their eyes. All of that pity turned into the heavy burden of shame.

If the people who watched and walked by wanted to really help us all they had to do tell my father to stop. But not one single person did and thats why I believed I deserved it.