I really despise my ex (just a rant)

My Cap ex husband came around tonight. It was our son's 8th grade night and he wanted to be there too. I tried to be civil but it's hard when he spends 2 hours criticizing everything I do. He ended the night by asking me if we can live like husband and wife again! GTFOH

I despise him and not in a love/hate sort of way. I can't imagine what I ever saw in him to begin with.

Hmm are you a Libra or a Scorpio...?

I feel like out of all of the ex-husbands...cap ex-husbands have the worst reputation.

even over Scorpio.

Posted by Cancan26
Hmm are you a Libra or a Scorpio...?

Scorpio

Posted by Adreamuponwaking
I feel like out of all of the ex-husbands...cap ex-husbands have the worst reputation.

even over Scorpio.

He takes the cake.

And berating me for two hours and then asking if we could get back together really took nerve.

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by Cancan26
Hmm are you a Libra or a Scorpio...?

Scorpio

click to expand

I thought so... Water sign connection and all that 😆.. do you ever miss your cappie ex

Posted by Cancan26

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by Cancan26
Hmm are you a Libra or a Scorpio...?

Scorpio

I thought so... Water sign connection and all that 😆.. do you ever miss your cappie ex

click to expand

No never! We've been apart for along time.

The last time we slept in the same bed or even kissed on the mouth was when I was pregnant with our now 14 year old. I stayed for a few years after that. I wanted out but it was difficult.

I don't miss him in the slightest. I'm actually counting down the days until the kids finish high school. My plan is to sell my house and move to a different state with my Libra. That's the only way I can ever be truly free from him.

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by Cancan26

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by Cancan26
Hmm are you a Libra or a Scorpio...?

Scorpio

I thought so... Water sign connection and all that 😆.. do you ever miss your cappie ex

No never! We've been apart for along time.

The last time we slept in the same bed or even kissed on the mouth was when I was pregnant with our now 14 year old. I stayed for a few years after that. I wanted out but it was difficult.

I don't miss him in the slightest. I'm actually counting down the days until the kids finish high school. My plan is to sell my house and move to a different state with my Libra. That's the only way I can ever be truly free from him.

click to expand

Lol well....do you mind if I ask you more details... Did he treat you bad during your marriage.. It sounds like he messed up cause he still wants you even though you are not even slightly interested 😆

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by Adreamuponwaking
I feel like out of all of the ex-husbands...cap ex-husbands have the worst reputation.

even over Scorpio.

He takes the cake.

And berating me for two hours and then asking if we could get back together really took nerve.

click to expand

I'm sorry that happened to you.

Posted by Cancan26

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by Cancan26

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by Cancan26
Hmm are you a Libra or a Scorpio...?

Scorpio

I thought so... Water sign connection and all that 😆.. do you ever miss your cappie ex

No never! We've been apart for along time.

The last time we slept in the same bed or even kissed on the mouth was when I was pregnant with our now 14 year old. I stayed for a few years after that. I wanted out but it was difficult.

I don't miss him in the slightest. I'm actually counting down the days until the kids finish high school. My plan is to sell my house and move to a different state with my Libra. That's the only way I can ever be truly free from him.

Lol well....do you mind if I ask you more details... Did he treat you bad during your marriage.. It sounds like he messed up cause he still wants you even though you are not even slightly interested 😆

click to expand

Mean, abusive, controlling

I can write a book

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by Adreamuponwaking
I feel like out of all of the ex-husbands...cap ex-husbands have the worst reputation.

even over Scorpio.

He takes the cake.

And berating me for two hours and then asking if we could get back together really took nerve.

click to expand

Deedee, that's terrible that he was that insensitive to your feelings but honey why did you sit there and take that for two hours?

I learned this from Al-Anon "I have the right to terminate conversations with anyone who makes you feel put down or humiliated."

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by Adreamuponwaking
I feel like out of all of the ex-husbands...cap ex-husbands have the worst reputation.

even over Scorpio.

He takes the cake.

And berating me for two hours and then asking if we could get back together really took nerve.

Deedee, that's terrible that he was that insensitive to your feelings but honey why did you sit there and take that for two hours?

I learned this from Al-Anon "I have the right to terminate conversations with anyone who makes you feel put down or humiliated."

click to expand

It was my son's night. I couldn't get up and walk away and if I argued back it would just be more of a scene. I just let him ramble. I had to throw in an occasional "yup" just to get him to stop repeating himself.

I sat in the wrong place, I parked in the wrong place, my son is too skinny and I need to feed him, it's stupid of me to buy a new car, I'm stupid because my car needs to be washed (I clean it every Monday), my dog is too fat, my cat is too hairy, I am stupid to buy my son a new bike, why did I let him wear a sports coat, why is he wearing glasses instead of contacts....I can go on and on and on.

And my son did lose weight these past 2 months. He did last year too. He does travel basketball and track for school at the same time. The kid works out 4 hours a day. He eats constantly. Track ended last week and basketball ends this weekend. He will gain those 10lbs back by football in August. He is 6'1" and 155lbs so not too emaciated.

What did you used to love about him?

I remember the good things we had together when my ex pisses me off...it can be bloody difficult but we have a son who wants his mum and dad to respect each other and get along

You also have a son together, that in itself is a gift

Posted by MyStarsShine
What did you used to love about him?

I remember the good things we had together when my ex pisses me off...it can be bloody difficult but we have a son who wants his mum and dad to respect each other and get along

You also have a son together, that in itself is a gift

We have 2 and that's the only good that came out of that.

I honestly can't remember what I ever liked about him. It has to be something. Was I just young and dumb? Maybe I just can't get over the past. He did some really awful stuff. I'm far from perfect in all of this but he's just a really rotten person to everyone. But so fake. Most people think he's this fun and friendly guy but underneath it all, he would steal from his own mother.

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by MyStarsShine
What did you used to love about him?

I remember the good things we had together when my ex pisses me off...it can be bloody difficult but we have a son who wants his mum and dad to respect each other and get along

You also have a son together, that in itself is a gift

We have 2 and that's the only good that came out of that.

I honestly can't remember what I ever liked about him. It has to be something. Was I just young and dumb? Maybe I just can't get over the past. He did some really awful stuff. I'm far from perfect in all of this but he's just a really rotten person to everyone. But so fake. Most people think he's this fun and friendly guy but underneath it all, he would steal from his own mother.

click to expand

Difficult, I know

When he starts slagging you off...maybe say to him you are doing your best and him being negative and cruel is having an adverse affect on the boys and you, and ask him is that what he wants

I know it's a pain, but in my experience I have found in most cases, it's up to the woman to keep the peace for the sake of the kids

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by Adreamuponwaking
I feel like out of all of the ex-husbands...cap ex-husbands have the worst reputation.

even over Scorpio.

He takes the cake.

And berating me for two hours and then asking if we could get back together really took nerve.

Deedee, that's terrible that he was that insensitive to your feelings but honey why did you sit there and take that for two hours?

I learned this from Al-Anon "I have the right to terminate conversations with anyone who makes you feel put down or humiliated."

It was my son's night. I couldn't get up and walk away and if I argued back it would just be more of a scene. I just let him ramble. I had to throw in an occasional "yup" just to get him to stop repeating himself.

I sat in the wrong place, I parked in the wrong place, my son is too skinny and I need to feed him, it's stupid of me to buy a new car, I'm stupid because my car needs to be washed (I clean it every Monday), my dog is too fat, my cat is too hairy, I am stupid to buy my son a new bike, why did I let him wear a sports coat, why is he wearing glasses instead of contacts....I can go on and on and on.

And my son did lose weight these past 2 months. He did last year too. He does travel basketball and track for school at the same time. The kid works out 4 hours a day. He eats constantly. Track ended last week and basketball ends this weekend. He will gain those 10lbs back by football in August. He is 6'1" and 155lbs so not too emaciated.

click to expand

I knew of a cancer man who beat his Taurus wife but did not beat the next woman. This Gemini woman cheated on every lover but her Pisces man. My Capricorn ex of 10 years demeaned his former girlfriend but he never berated me. People treat you the way you allow them to. He berates and demeans you because he can.

You are not a victim no matter what situation or circumstances you are in you can protect yourself. If he was in your house you could have gone into your room shut your door locked your door got on the phone put some headphones on. If it's not your house you could have simply dropped your son off and as soon as he got into talking degrading stuff you could have left.

I mean we can sit in here and go tit-for-tat but the fact of the matter is he berates and belittles you because you let him.

He's just gotten used to you allowing him to go off on you I'm not saying this to embarrass you I'm saying this to empower you but it seems like you water signs don't really care about being empowered you care more about being a victim and you're not a victim you're a grown woman with many many many many options and choices.

To every excuse to why you allow the abuse there is an resolution and answer to how you can stop it.

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by MyStarsShine
What did you used to love about him?

I remember the good things we had together when my ex pisses me off...it can be bloody difficult but we have a son who wants his mum and dad to respect each other and get along

You also have a son together, that in itself is a gift

We have 2 and that's the only good that came out of that.

I honestly can't remember what I ever liked about him. It has to be something. Was I just young and dumb? Maybe I just can't get over the past. He did some really awful stuff. I'm far from perfect in all of this but he's just a really rotten person to everyone. But so fake. Most people think he's this fun and friendly guy but underneath it all, he would steal from his own mother.

Difficult, I know

When he starts slagging you off...maybe say to him you are doing your best and him being negative and cruel is having an adverse affect on the boys and you and ask him is that what he wants

I know it's a pain, but in my experience I have found in most cases, it's up to the woman to keep the peace for the sake of the kids

click to expand

do you know what he says when I tell him that? He says "fuck the kids. You spoil them too much. They are lazy. They don't do anything".

I'm not even joking.

My older son seems to think that his dad is fun and cool but my younger son just avoids him as much as possible.

In January, we went out to dinner for my son's 16th birthday. My younger son and the obviously gay waiter were having a conversation about something on the menu. When the waiter walked away he turned to my son and said, "why are you talking to that f**got? Are you a fucking fa**got?" . I did say something and it ended up a huge ordeal. This was all in the earshot of the waiter and everyone else.

Then he berated me and my son for defending the waiter.

I have 4 more years and then I'm moving away and not giving him an address or phone number. Both kids will be adults and can contact him directly. I am counting down the days.

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by Adreamuponwaking
I feel like out of all of the ex-husbands...cap ex-husbands have the worst reputation.

even over Scorpio.

He takes the cake.

And berating me for two hours and then asking if we could get back together really took nerve.

Deedee, that's terrible that he was that insensitive to your feelings but honey why did you sit there and take that for two hours?

I learned this from Al-Anon "I have the right to terminate conversations with anyone who makes you feel put down or humiliated."

It was my son's night. I couldn't get up and walk away and if I argued back it would just be more of a scene. I just let him ramble. I had to throw in an occasional "yup" just to get him to stop repeating himself.

I sat in the wrong place, I parked in the wrong place, my son is too skinny and I need to feed him, it's stupid of me to buy a new car, I'm stupid because my car needs to be washed (I clean it every Monday), my dog is too fat, my cat is too hairy, I am stupid to buy my son a new bike, why did I let him wear a sports coat, why is he wearing glasses instead of contacts....I can go on and on and on.

And my son did lose weight these past 2 months. He did last year too. He does travel basketball and track for school at the same time. The kid works out 4 hours a day. He eats constantly. Track ended last week and basketball ends this weekend. He will gain those 10lbs back by football in August. He is 6'1" and 155lbs so not too emaciated.

I knew of a cancer man who beat his Taurus wife but did not beat the next woman. This Gemini woman cheated on every lover but her Pisces man. My Capricorn ex of 10 years demeaned his former girlfriend but he never berated me. People treat you the way you allow them to. He berates and demeans you because he can.

You are not a victim no matter what situation or circumstances you are in you can protect yourself. If he was in your house you could have gone into your room shut your door locked your door got on the phone put some headphones on. If it's not your house you could have simply dropped your son off and as soon as he got into talking degrading stuff you could have left.

I mean we can sit in here and go tit-for-tat but the fact of the matter is he berates and belittles you because you let him.

He's just gotten used to you allowing him to go off on you I'm not saying this to embarrass you I'm saying this to empower you but it seems like you water signs don't really care about being empowered you care more about being a victim and you're not a victim you're a grown woman with many many many many options and choices.

To every excuse to why you allow the abuse there is an resolution and answer to how you can stop it.

click to expand

I don't like public scenes.

It's easier just to ignore and avoid. He's not a major part of my life. I barely speak to him and when I do, it ends up a thread because I'm so aggravated. I'm not a victim of anything. This is a rant thread because I'm annoyed.

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Deedee86

Posted by Adreamuponwaking
I feel like out of all of the ex-husbands...cap ex-husbands have the worst reputation.

even over Scorpio.

He takes the cake.

And berating me for two hours and then asking if we could get back together really took nerve.

Deedee, that's terrible that he was that insensitive to your feelings but honey why did you sit there and take that for two hours?

I learned this from Al-Anon "I have the right to terminate conversations with anyone who makes you feel put down or humiliated."

It was my son's night. I couldn't get up and walk away and if I argued back it would just be more of a scene. I just let him ramble. I had to throw in an occasional "yup" just to get him to stop repeating himself.

I sat in the wrong place, I parked in the wrong place, my son is too skinny and I need to feed him, it's stupid of me to buy a new car, I'm stupid because my car needs to be washed (I clean it every Monday), my dog is too fat, my cat is too hairy, I am stupid to buy my son a new bike, why did I let him wear a sports coat, why is he wearing glasses instead of contacts....I can go on and on and on.

And my son did lose weight these past 2 months. He did last year too. He does travel basketball and track for school at the same time. The kid works out 4 hours a day. He eats constantly. Track ended last week and basketball ends this weekend. He will gain those 10lbs back by football in August. He is 6'1" and 155lbs so not too emaciated.

I knew of a cancer man who beat his Taurus wife but did not beat the next woman. This Gemini woman cheated on every lover but her Pisces man. My Capricorn ex of 10 years demeaned his former girlfriend but he never berated me. People treat you the way you allow them to. He berates and demeans you because he can.

You are not a victim no matter what situation or circumstances you are in you can protect yourself. If he was in your house you could have gone into your room shut your door locked your door got on the phone put some headphones on. If it's not your house you could have simply dropped your son off and as soon as he got into talking degrading stuff you could have left.

I mean we can sit in here and go tit-for-tat but the fact of the matter is he berates and belittles you because you let him.

He's just gotten used to you allowing him to go off on you I'm not saying this to embarrass you I'm saying this to empower you but it seems like you water signs don't really care about being empowered you care more about being a victim and you're not a victim you're a grown woman with many many many many options and choices.

To every excuse to why you allow the abuse there is an resolution and answer to how you can stop it.

I don't like public scenes.

It's easier just to ignore and avoid. He's not a major part of my life. I barely speak to him and when I do, it ends up a thread because I'm so aggravated. I'm not a victim of anything. This is a rant thread because I'm annoyed.

click to expand

oh I see okay well maybe he Rants and Rages because he wants to get back together with you and he's frustrated that he's not getting to you.

Posted by Deedee86
My Cap ex husband came around tonight. It was our son's 8th grade night and he wanted to be there too. I tried to be civil but it's hard when he spends 2 hours criticizing everything I do. He ended the night by asking me if we can live like husband and wife again! GTFOH

I despise him and not in a love/hate sort of way. I can't imagine what I ever saw in him to begin with.

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