firebunny
@firebunny
13 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 99 · Posts: 16295 · Topics: 1686
My 90-year-old grandmother
*not in the form of disrespect.
I couldn't edit my post anymore! @_@
I couldn't edit my post anymore! @_@
She sounds like she may be suffering from dementia and simply doesn't remember if shes sleeping or not or even how the flow of life goes normally. Exercise your patience bc there's not a lot you can do but make the rest of her time here pleasant for her as best you can. Maybe look into some relaxing teas for her to try at night?
Do we have to consult a psychiatrist? I can't have much patience anymore; I'm more focused on the exams. I hope she doesn't get in the way. This is actually for her. She keeps on asking if I am a lawyer now. I got teary-eyed when she told me she's been praying for me.
She's fucking 90 of course she wants to sleep at 8 PM LOL
As for the patience though just remind yourself that once she's gone, you're going to miss her. The night you be mean to her might be the night she passes away. Old people are literally children.
As for the patience though just remind yourself that once she's gone, you're going to miss her. The night you be mean to her might be the night she passes away. Old people are literally children.
Posted by libraqueeenHopefully not! 😢
She's fucking 90 of course she wants to sleep at 8 PM LOL
As for the patience though just remind yourself that once she's gone, you're going to miss her. The night you be mean to her might be the night she passes away. Old people are literally children.
Posted by seraphI am applying the lessons I learn, seraph. But when you lose your patience, you'll definitely do something stupid. I am not perfect and my trials are not yet over. I wrote that article because that's how I felt last Sunday. It's still true today but more questions came in this past week. I'm willing to learn though.Posted by firebunny
What I'm asking, though, is how do I get to have more patience with my grandmother?Posted by firebunnySHE is. Not you.
Now she's turning 90 next month.
Remember that, and be thankful she's still around.
Remember all this?
http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/miscellaneous/today-my-faith-has-crystallized-6681738/
Provided that ^^^ was even partially true, now is your chance to put all that into practice. You wrote about it, not anyone else. You declared it for everyone to see.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Ephesians 4:2click to expand
Posted by libraqueeenI don't know how to feel about this. She complains every day that she wasn't able to get some sleep the night before. But then who would ever get to sleep at 8 pm by forcing yourself? I was telling her to just relax 'cause that's how you get some sleep. She doesn't listen. She has no patience for our maids. She wants the lights turned off at 8 pm even when they're still doing some things. They can't turn the lights off yet when they're busy doing some things. She wouldn't stop complaining about the lights until they're all turned off.
She's fucking 90 of course she wants to sleep at 8 PM LOL
Posted by seraphTonight I'll pray the Divine Mercy miscellaneous prayers. Those always work. I hope that tomorrow, I find a way to convince my grandmother to just relax and there's really no need to hurry.Posted by firebunnyIt's day by day, bunny. Moment to moment. If you make a constant effort early on and catch yourself when you're beginning to lose it a little, it'll get easier over time. You'll get better at it, and it won't feel like so much effort at all. It'll take time.Posted by seraphI am applying the lessons I learn, seraph. But when you lose your patience, you'll definitely do something stupid. I am not perfect and my trials are not yet over. I wrote that article because that's how I felt last Sunday. It's still true today but more questions came in this past week. I'm willing to learn though.Posted by firebunny
What I'm asking, though, is how do I get to have more patience with my grandmother?Posted by firebunnySHE is. Not you.
Now she's turning 90 next month.
Remember that, and be thankful she's still around.
Remember all this?
http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/miscellaneous/today-my-faith-has-crystallized-6681738/
Provided that ^^^ was even partially true, now is your chance to put all that into practice. You wrote about it, not anyone else. You declared it for everyone to see.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Ephesians 4:2
However, the advantage you have is that you have something higher according to which you'll manage your responses. If you do it to honour Him as much as you'll do it to keep yourself patient, then it'll go easier. Hang in there!click to expand
Posted by andstrollbotDude! Is that serious? @_@Posted by libraqueeenI sleep at 9
She's fucking 90 of course she wants to sleep at 8 PM LOL
As for the patience though just remind yourself that once she's gone, you're going to miss her. The night you be mean to her might be the night she passes away. Old people are literally children.
It's a bit past my bedtime nowclick to expand
Posted by seraphThank you for the advice. I just don't understand the 2nd paragraph. Lol.Posted by firebunnyPrayer will help. But I doubt you'll convince her. It's going about it the wrong way. She'll be 90 soon.Posted by seraphTonight I'll pray the Divine Mercy miscellaneous prayers. Those always work. I hope that tomorrow, I find a way to convince my grandmother to just relax and there's really no need to hurry.Posted by firebunnyIt's day by day, bunny. Moment to moment. If you make a constant effort early on and catch yourself when you're beginning to lose it a little, it'll get easier over time. You'll get better at it, and it won't feel like so much effort at all. It'll take time.Posted by seraphI am applying the lessons I learn, seraph. But when you lose your patience, you'll definitely do something stupid. I am not perfect and my trials are not yet over. I wrote that article because that's how I felt last Sunday. It's still true today but more questions came in this past week. I'm willing to learn though.Posted by firebunny
What I'm asking, though, is how do I get to have more patience with my grandmother?Posted by firebunnySHE is. Not you.
Now she's turning 90 next month.
Remember that, and be thankful she's still around.
Remember all this?
http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/miscellaneous/today-my-faith-has-crystallized-6681738/
Provided that ^^^ was even partially true, now is your chance to put all that into practice. You wrote about it, not anyone else. You declared it for everyone to see.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Ephesians 4:2
However, the advantage you have is that you have something higher according to which you'll manage your responses. If you do it to honour Him as much as you'll do it to keep yourself patient, then it'll go easier. Hang in there!
Pray instead for the patience to allow her to behave exactly as she's behaving, and for you to simply accept it with aplomb, and just do what needs doing without investing your preferential feelings into it.click to expand
Posted by andstrollbotI will move out in 4 years. I don't want to be interfered by them for life. I just need to become a lawyer and get established. I don't care about pride; I would love to stay with them. It's just that they always want to have a say in my choices and activities every day.
If you move in with your parents you'll stay there for the next 10 years and you'll be a 38 year old lawyer living with his parents
Posted by seraphOh good lord. I hope you do understand that I'm reviewing for the bar though.Posted by firebunnyMeaning just do what you have to (in terms of addressing her needs) without thinking too much about it.
Thank you for the advice. I just don't understand the 2nd paragraph. Lol.click to expand
Posted by andstrollbotIs it the same with your life too?Posted by firebunnyIt's for life bro. They will visit you and interfere. At least you're moving out.Posted by andstrollbotI will move out in 4 years. I don't want to be interfered by them for life. I just need to become a lawyer and get established. I don't care about pride; I would love to stay with them. It's just that they always want to have a say in my choices and activities every day.
If you move in with your parents you'll stay there for the next 10 years and you'll be a 38 year old lawyer living with his parents
click to expand
Posted by andstrollbotWhat do you mean by "summoned"?Posted by firebunnyMine haven't visited me yet in my building but my grandmother checks up on me from time to time. I get summoned more often than visited.Posted by andstrollbotIs it the same with your life too?Posted by firebunnyIt's for life bro. They will visit you and interfere. At least you're moving out.Posted by andstrollbotI will move out in 4 years. I don't want to be interfered by them for life. I just need to become a lawyer and get established. I don't care about pride; I would love to stay with them. It's just that they always want to have a say in my choices and activities every day.
If you move in with your parents you'll stay there for the next 10 years and you'll be a 38 year old lawyer living with his parents
click to expand
Posted by firebunnyI'm sorry, Seraph. What I mean is, the review center told us that we should get very minimal or no interference at all from other people, even loved ones, if we need to pass the Bar.Posted by seraphOh good lord. I hope you do understand that I'm reviewing for the bar though.Posted by firebunnyMeaning just do what you have to (in terms of addressing her needs) without thinking too much about it.
Thank you for the advice. I just don't understand the 2nd paragraph. Lol.click to expand
Posted by andstrollbotYou have no reason to back out?Posted by firebunnyI get a note that I'm invited to lunch and I go.Posted by andstrollbotWhat do you mean by "summoned"?Posted by firebunnyMine haven't visited me yet in my building but my grandmother checks up on me from time to time. I get summoned more often than visited.Posted by andstrollbotIs it the same with your life too?Posted by firebunnyIt's for life bro. They will visit you and interfere. At least you're moving out.Posted by andstrollbotI will move out in 4 years. I don't want to be interfered by them for life. I just need to become a lawyer and get established. I don't care about pride; I would love to stay with them. It's just that they always want to have a say in my choices and activities every day.
If you move in with your parents you'll stay there for the next 10 years and you'll be a 38 year old lawyer living with his parents
click to expand
Posted by andstrollbotIt's a good thing they respect your schedule. 🙂Posted by firebunnyNah it's usually a sunday. Everyone knows I do absolutely nothing on sundays.Posted by andstrollbotYou have no reason to back out?Posted by firebunnyI get a note that I'm invited to lunch and I go.Posted by andstrollbotWhat do you mean by "summoned"?Posted by firebunnyMine haven't visited me yet in my building but my grandmother checks up on me from time to time. I get summoned more often than visited.Posted by andstrollbotIs it the same with your life too?Posted by firebunnyIt's for life bro. They will visit you and interfere. At least you're moving out.Posted by andstrollbotI will move out in 4 years. I don't want to be interfered by them for life. I just need to become a lawyer and get established. I don't care about pride; I would love to stay with them. It's just that they always want to have a say in my choices and activities every day.
If you move in with your parents you'll stay there for the next 10 years and you'll be a 38 year old lawyer living with his parents
click to expand
Posted by NoI can get really tense these days; I'm reviewing for the Bar... so I have little patience. Every minute counts.
My grandma suffers from Alzheimer, she keeps on forgetting who are her children, she even wonders about dead people:" call them, where are they? I don't see them around" which is so painful. Her sons and daughters would get heartbroken about her condition, that she keeps on forgetting them and recalling dead ones. But they're always so patient with her. But the thing is that she always remember us, her grandchildren ❤️ But, old people always complain, you have to accept that! Whenever she says anything that she already said just nod or use your gestures. Say ok or talk with her about something else. Just try not to be so harsh on her. She is 90 years old! She don't have the energy anymore, and old people always think they'll die any moment, she's afraid and I don't blame her. some of them are waiting to die because they got so tired. So, please just try to be more patient with her. Remember her good times with you, have a decent chat with her, old people are lonely and needs company. Not from nurses or maids. Let her tell you her stories, she would be happy, and might complain less.
Turn the lights off in the rooms around her, but keep the far ones on. Or wait till she sleeps to get them back on.
put ands in her bed to keep her entertained
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But she's becoming very obnoxious. Sometimes our maids are no longer listening to her because every time she calls them, it's always as if it's something very urgent which always turns out to be not at all.
Then an hour ago was my breaking point. I was literally shouting at my grandmother, "Lola, it's only 8 pm. You don't need to hurry to fall asleep. We still can't turn the lights off because people are still doing some things." Despite that, she doesn't stop complaining about the lights and couldn't understand that people still have some things to do.
I was like, "Lola, just relax. It's still too early. No need to rush getting to sleep." She wouldn't stop. I can't force Ate Emily to turn the lights off either because she needs to do some things. And there my grandmother still went complaining and complaining. She didn't stop until Ate Emily turned the lights off.
It's always as if it's an emergency for my grandmother to get to sleep. And at 8 pm? Who would want to get to sleep that early?!
I know what will happen tomorrow. She's going to complain that she wasn't able to sleep the previous night (which is tonight). I'm like, "you always get to sleep even though you tell us that you didn't."
In my mind, I don't understand why she needs to rush to fall asleep. For one reason, she's not going to have anything to do the following day. And for another reason, forcing yourself to get to sleep AT 8 PM would never work!
Even as I would try to tell my grandmother to just relax. She wouldn't. She can't relax until all the lights are turned off. AND AT 8 PM—!!!
Of course, I'm sorry that I raised my voice at her... but in the form of disrespect... I was just getting impatient at her because there's absolutely no reason to rush to fall asleep and every time she calls our maids to get something to do, it will always involve something that isn't important at all. To be more emphatic, when she calls them, SHE CRIES like it's A REALLY BIG PROBLEM when it actually isn't!
What's even worse is that time is very important to me. I have a BIG EXAM to hurdle this November! I can't be disturbed at a very frequent basis by my grandmother. Every minute counts... and there she'd cry for some help every 30 minutes or so as if it's really something urgent.
Don't get me wrong. I still love my grandmother. I'm partly happy that she's still alive. I still want her to see her new room when we transfer to a bigger house. It's just a matter of time. We're slated to move in at the end of this month.
What I'm asking, though, is how do I get to have more patience with my grandmother?