My Analysis

Note to self: accumulating a community site is not your forte.

I have to say though... it's mostly our faults that men are the way they are today. Well not really but PARTIALLY YES it is. Men remain cold and distant, why? Because we women favor that. But we also favor emotionality which equals to compassion/care that cannot coalesce with 'mr dont touch me.' so they use this tactic to trap their prey. Because men too want love...er or ego-feed. Either way they use this method to make you fall head over heels over them then they stay repressed so that YOU stay. Act as if nothing effects them. Remains aloof and careless but they really do care. It isn't out of spite or to sponser anti womens right but more along the lines of knowing the nature of humans and trying to adjust to it for their own self interest.

Selfish treetrunks they are but females are also. Except we tend to express it more than neccessary. Really though, I wouldn't want a clingy guy or a treetrunking baby. And this is the part where women should realize they're not always the victim. I've used many methods and they've all succeeded. What I'm trying to say is, rely on your intuition of human nature(that is if you have any.) not your impression of the differences between man and woman.

We cling onto the ice man why? Because we love a good challenge. Just like men. But there are some cases when your lover changes dramatically and you try to obtain the once lover you knew becuase you *think* you can do it. And there are some cases where you like to date the player and see if you can capture his heart. Eh. Just like men. Nuff said.

But we grow out of it eventually. Or maybe we dont. I don't know yet. But my relationship is still alive and burning, maybe Javi will prove me wrong. *Shrug* Because I always say nothing ever lasts.
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Anyone have a different opinion?

I don't know.

I'm reading a book now that talks about the nature of human relationships, individualism and isolationalism. It comes to the conclusion that: "In reality, men don't give a damn about their kids, they never really love them. In fact I'd say men aren't capable of love; the emotioin is completely alien to them. The only emotions they know are desire in the form of pure animal lust - and male rivalry." It says women are different because they need to have something to love. I have to say this is the one of the most depressing jaded books I've ever read. It then goes on to say the men corrupt society and society in general would be more peaceful and happy if women lead the society without them.

I'm keeping in mind that this book is specifically dealling with 40-50 year old French people who were victoms of the "sexual liberation" movement. However, it does have a point, being that the popular movement towards individualism through such sociatal "revolutions" (or revelations) and the increased amount of selfishness and lavish consumption which follows isolates individuals.

What is the result? A new "modern" life style ? Who needs marriage, we can live together without that. Who needs kids? They'll just slow us down. . . And faithfullness is a myth. We're proud of our independence and our ability to move from lover to lover without it getting in the way of our own lives. In the end, we still end up with nothing. We stop and wonder what exactly we were working so very hard to achieve, and find a very large wall between us and the rest of the world.

The filrtation, the dating, the fun and fooling around. . . I suppose it's like an adventure for spirited energetic minds and bodies. But I think that the affectionate bond which people sometimes forget about (and personally I don't see how that can but they do) is deeper and more important. The blatant materialist selfish sexual relationships that I see in the majority of couples my age is just depressing. The wonderful "ignorance" of a meaningful relationship as people toy with eachother's emotions for the fun of it disgusts me. It's like human consumption, and I think that's what many people see it as. Another form of selfish consumption to erect themselves as individuals.

I used to sit and wonder about all of these things, and it used to drive me nuts, because I couldn't understand what could be fun about fooling around with as many different people as possible, since nobody, male or female can truly seperate physical encounters from emotions (although men are a bit better at it than women, in most cases). These days, my personal philosophy is to not analyze the truly ridiculous, because it jades me, and I don't like that. I think it's truly ridiculous and a complete sham, how some people are, pardon me, so slutty (that applies equally to men and women) and try to convince themselves and everyone around them that they are "just having fun". I believe that highly promiscuous people are lacking in the soul department...something truly is wrong in the deepest parts of themselves or they would not need such false "positive reinforcement" (sex) from so many other people. So, basically, these days what I do is exactly what I want to do, for myself - nothing more, nothing less, and I don't care so much what anyone else does, because it's not my life, and I've got enough to worry about, about my own life. I see a lot of people making really stupid decisions, but I keep my judgements to myself for many reasons...it's not any of my business, it's not something I truly care about, and I sort of feel like they deserve the inevitably negative consequences of their choices.

It sounds ... bad, or something, but I have to really detach myself from the rest of humanity sometimes, otherwise I'd never be a happy person.

Gotta run now, but will come back later and respond to the male/female stuff.

Okay.

Partially womens' fault that men are the way they are? Yes, I agree. Partially mens' fault that women are the way they are? I think so. I'm not sure "fault" is the thing here; I think both genders influence each other tremendously. I know, for example, that I do reward good behavior in men and at least ignore (but definitely despise) jerk-like behavior. I too have caught a few of these dating shows and been appalled, I've watched things happen on dates that I would never be cool with. It's as though these people my age act like they're still in junior high school, and on top of that they're sleazy and obnoxious. And there you see the girl, laughing at the behavior of these idiots, thereby encouraging them to continue, thereby giving these men the idea that all women are like that. It's sickening. I just keep holding out hope that there are still some guys left who know better, and who don't want to be with a girl who has no clue. I can honestly only think of one single guy in my so-called "real" life, who is not "mostly a jerk". Or "mostly a pig". Sorry to say it but it's absolutely true. It's like a generational phenomenon, although it can certainly span different generations, this idiocy, this callousness. Personally, I like a warm, sweet guy, NOT an Ice King type. And I can assure everyone that I will never marry the latter. If it means I never get married, then that's what it means. I truly do want a sweet guy. It's just hard to find one who knows and is confident enough in himself to know that he can be sweet and not a wimp, all at the same time. It is possible, though. It just takes a secure man.

I think both men and women need to grow the hell up, not play so many head games with each other, get the hell out of bad relationships and move on in the journey of life. Dwelling helps nothing. Eventually we will all find the right person for us; if we don't, it's better to be alone then.

Yeah, I know that entire last paragraph is easier said than done.

Parallax your paragraph reminds me of when I was just in elementary school and it was known that boys were too shy to ask a girl out because of the reaction they might get from it. I guess it all stems from the past. It's hard on mens part because of the generalizations they get. The pressure of being a 'man' from their parents also.

Morgan that book even sounds depressing. Just wondering is the author a woman? Because...yeah. I can't agree with the statement that men are responsible for the corruption of society because corruption is inevitable. I think it's all relative. The positions placed on men and women influences eachother, I dont even know how it all came to be but one makes you think. Did the idea come to be because the differences between man and woman were already there or did we just create the illusion? There ARE many women today that are actually 'coming out' and becoming an 'independent' woman though. Unlike decades ago when being a hermit was prized. I think the inner desires that are shown today also signify that women too have the potential to be like men.

Like you say faithfulness has become a myth because everyone is caught up with their lives. Marriage is but an option now. The act of flirting/dating/fooling around may just be a defense mechanism or an 'adventurous' spirit may just be finding the 'perfect' mate which he/she then ends up with nothing. I say one should look for the flaws that they can work with otherwise it's an ongoing cycle.

But I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where it's just an affectionate bond. Affection has to stem from the mutual feelings they have for eachother. Which equals to compatibility. Sometimes it just doesn't work. And that's where people keep moving... Everyone looks for someone to feel complete with. But never takes up the time to look inside. I tend to try and lean towards the harsh realities of life but it never takes me far because we created reality so what is reality? Maybe even the sole purpose of reality was created.

There's a book that says if one can understand the present moment then they wouldn't have anything to look foward to.

But it makes you think. Perhaps choice is the root of all evil.

Phoenix have you watched MTV lately? I think that's the best example for everything that you stated. Reality shows piss me off also so I never watch them. Speaking of reality shows.. why are there SO many nowadays? It's like a frickin fad now.

I too detach myself from society a lot of times. But then that feeling crawls up inside of me, the feeling of wanting to learn and gather infromation about the world. So thank god for the internet huh!!! But there's that contradiction I just made. No matter how much I despise society I'm still a part of it.

Yah know, that book was actually written by a guy. All the main characters were men too. It's really sad when a bunch of 45 year old men sit and drink and talk about their childhood tramas and sexual frustrations and come to that conclusion. . . Which was mostly what the book was about.

That and the whold consumer society makes people shallow and unfullfilled. They were just talking about human consumption as another aspect of that kind of a society. So maybe you're right Luz, choice is the root of all evil.

I hate to be the kind of person who talks out against Barbies for their manipulation of fragile childrens minds, but I wonder how much the "social values" which create these kinds of problems are created by image products. These problems of the "nice guy finishing last" and the jerk always getting the girl, how many times have you seen that played out on your television set? Eventually people just come to accept that as the way the whole world works. In this way, yeah, we really do create our own reality. It's whatever is popular to believe in at the time. It's really sad, and people play up to it as much as possible.

I agree about Barbie (both metaphorically and literally), shallow people and the way people almost unconsiously "accept" that the world works the way television and movies portray it. I also think people create their own reality. Which, I think is something that every human being needs to realize is completely within their control: if you want to be miserable, bitter toward the opposite sex, and so on...you will be; you will become that way. You have to choose a different reality for yourself. Otherwise, the world becomes a rather unbearable place. I hate to say this, but I think sometimes we all just have to shut out the bad, to survive.

Yes Luz, I've watched MTV lately...but I always change the channel after they quit playing music videos, or as soon as a rap video comes on. I only like their "rock hour" or whatever it's called. I do still watch The Real World sometimes, but now it's almost more so I can feel better that I don't know anyone like those people. lol. But yes, their dating shows...horrible. Elimidate, is that what it's called? Just sick, weird and wrong.

I think....I *think* that if we all just keep acting the way we really are, we will attract the right people into our lives. I believe very strongly that everything you put out into the world will come back to you, so hopefully if we all just try to be good people and not treetrunk with others, we will reap the rewards. Unlike these jerks and b**ches who, although it may temporarily seem like they luck out, will eventually crash and burn and will reap what they've sown.

Sorry....to interrupt..!!!
In my humble opinion...just burn the??book??...you can?_t have a ??facit?? or reference of ??how to handle a male or female of your interest?? it?_s scary and unreal.
Every person is unique, and everyone has her/his own qualities and beliefs?K.so it?_s completely ??WRONG?? to a refer someone to a book or kind of reference ??how to handle??.
1- you don?_t deal with
2- you?_re not ??handle??
The person in front of you?Kyou like it..?? You take the challenge?K. Your not..— Then ignore it?K..bless your heart. ?

hm...what the hell is wrong with message bord..??
Cant take sign's doc. from word..??
hm..??

I don't know, but that was confusing.