HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
Opening up. (Page 2)
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Posted by thefierybullWould you like to be able to?
No idea, cause I can't open up to ANYONE fully.
Some things are best left unsaid. Not everything is meant to be shared.
Posted by tizianiSharing everything is often construed as being giving, a strange form of generosity, so to speak...rarely do people ever consider that perhaps being so candid is a burdensome or selfish act.Posted by LillyPetalLive free.
Some things are best left unsaid. Not everything is meant to be shared.click to expand
Posted by tizianiLive free and freely let live.Posted by LillyPetalLIVE FREE.Posted by tizianiSharing everything is often construed as being giving, a strange form of generosity, so to speak...rarely do people ever consider that perhaps being so candid is a burdensome or selfish act.Posted by LillyPetalLive free.
Some things are best left unsaid. Not everything is meant to be shared.click to expand
Posted by HappyCapperPosted by malloryorBut you used to?
Nope. I dont do that shit no more.click to expand
Got burned?
Yeah. I am a very open and honest person. I prefer honesty and transparency in my relationships. I hate coming into relationships with too much of a shield and guard, to me that sets things off on this negative note.
Posted by malloryorPosted by HappyCapperNot disclosing *everything* does not make a person guarded or dishonest.Posted by malloryorBut you used to?
Nope. I dont do that shit no more.
Got burned?
Yeah. I am a very open and honest person. I prefer honesty and transparency in my relationships. I hate coming into relationships with too much of a shield and guard, to me that sets things off on this negative note.click to expand
Posted by LillyPetalPosted by malloryorBut did I say that?Posted by HappyCapperNot disclosing *everything* does not make a person guarded or dishonest.Posted by malloryorBut you used to?
Nope. I dont do that shit no more.
Got burned?
Yeah. I am a very open and honest person. I prefer honesty and transparency in my relationships. I hate coming into relationships with too much of a shield and guard, to me that sets things off on this negative note.click to expand
Posted by malloryorPosted by LillyPetalI'm inferring it from what you wrote.Posted by malloryorBut did I say that?Posted by HappyCapperNot disclosing *everything* does not make a person guarded or dishonest.Posted by malloryorBut you used to?
Nope. I dont do that butter no more.
Got burned?
Yeah. I am a very open and honest person. I prefer honesty and transparency in my relationships. I hate coming into relationships with too much of a shield and guard, to me that sets things off on this negative note.click to expand
Posted by LillyPetalPosted by malloryorOkayPosted by LillyPetalI'm inferring it from what you wrote.Posted by malloryorBut did I say that?Posted by HappyCapperNot disclosing *everything* does not make a person guarded or dishonest.Posted by malloryorBut you used to?
Nope. I dont do that butter no more.
Got burned?
Yeah. I am a very open and honest person. I prefer honesty and transparency in my relationships. I hate coming into relationships with too much of a shield and guard, to me that sets things off on this negative note.click to expand
Posted by LillyPetalSure. Agreed.
Some things are best left unsaid. Not everything is meant to be shared.
But how much should be unsaid, you think? How much could be unsaid? How much will you leave unsaid?
Posted by Chance_11Honestly, several times I have been on the receiving end of people opening up to me, and while I was glad they felt better for sharing, I couldn't say I felt the same. It's just too much and I often felt that discussing things didn't even genuinely make them feel better, paradoxically creating the opposite effect of worsening their attitudes towards a particular situation or about a certain subject. Things said to me stay with me for longer than I want them to, and the emotional drainage is unbearable.Posted by LillyPetalVery true. If done too much and not in the right contexts, it looks selfish. Everyone has been through traumatic moments and/or had people die. I think people like it when you're upfront with them. I get a lot people opening up that I didn't think would due to the fact that we hadn't interacted much if at all. I don't mind because I learn something from the interaction. Most of the time, they just want to be understood by another and it's great that they find you sincere and trusting enough right away.Posted by tizianiSharing everything is often construed as being giving, a strange form of generosity, so to speak...rarely do people ever consider that perhaps being so candid is a burdensome or selfish act.Posted by LillyPetalLive free.
Some things are best left unsaid. Not everything is meant to be shared.
Getting a cap to open up is just a matter of finding the weak spots 😉click to expand
There were other moments when I have shared and then immediately regretted it because I could sense that I put the other person in a position of helplessness, and I know that that isn't a good feeling. Again, I rarely felt better after, instead preferring to discuss things that are relevant and that I can actively influence.
How can *everything* possibly be relevant to your SO or even to your present self?
As for getting people to open up. I can't say that I
have ever wanted to do that. I have showed concern, but if the person doesn't want to open up, I leave them be and let them know I'm there if they should decide they'd like to talk. Typically, Ido that only with people I care about like my siblings. At work, co-workers will drop hints as though fishing for someone to ask if they are okay, and I'm the person that doesn't open that door because I honestly don't want to know.
Posted by HappyCapperI wish I had a more concrete answer other than "I just know because Ican intuit it." But I will try to think it through logically: I much prefer to share things as the context allows instead of a "I'm going to commit verbal and emotional diarrhea all over you in the name of sharing everything because there shouldn't be any secrets between us! Oh, and speaking of diarrhea, I will leave the bathroom door open so you can see me poop. We may as well get all things sh it related out of the way!"Posted by LillyPetalSure. Agreed.
Some things are best left unsaid. Not everything is meant to be shared.
But how much should be unsaid, you think? How much could be unsaid? How much will you leave unsaid?click to expand
But seriously, if I am speaking to my boyfriend, and the conversation we are having causes me to think of something about myself, and I feel that it will benefit him to know, and me to share, and our collective relationship, then I will tell him. Perhaps it will make the conversation more interesting or more entertaining.
If said thought only serves to give me something to say or to selfishly lessen a personal burden on me without giving him any true insight into who I am or offering a chnace for him to better understand me, or for us to understand each other, then I keep it to myself.
It sounds more complex than it is, but I hope this makes some sense to you.
Another thing: It's not all about me, whether I choose to share or not. Something may seem not worth sharing, but the moment my boyfriend either shows concern or shows interest and wants to know something, I will open up because the moment he asks is the moment that thought in my head became significant because he placed value on it through his inquiry - like the tiny scar he noticed on my index finger. I was never interested in telling anyone how I got it until he showed curiosity and wanted to hear my story. The timing of that conversation truly created a moment, and had I volunteered to divulge it sooner, for no real reason other than to "share everything," then it would have simply been yet another fact about me in an overwhelming plethora of things I spewed at him in the name of sharing.
I guess I try to share thoughtfully instead of arbitrarily and completely just for the sake of sharing.
I guess I try to share thoughtfully instead of arbitrarily and completely just for the sake of sharing.
Posted by blackphaseLOL I tell you guys more than I tell my friends and partners too, at times. And still, that's not a lot. I mean, even when I ask for help with some theoretical astrology question, I don't give my own placements at times, but instead do the:
I am a very open person, but only with the one I am choosing to spend my life with. No one else will ever know me the way I allow them to. Okay.. that's a lie, I tell everything to you guys as well.. I am an open book on here too.. But in regard to the people directly involved in my life, I don't choose to share much with them. I do tell everything to my s/o, even if they are not entirely open with me.. I feel it's very important that they know me inside and out. I am very open about myself even early on in a relationship, actually before the relationship even begins I have a lot to let someone in on as I don't want to even begin a relationship with someone unless they are aware of certain things and are able to accept them. I don't like to waste my time and have a difficult time letting go of someone once attached, so I air a lot about myself including insecurities before even getting attached. Take me or leave me, but don't string me along just to decide I'm not what you wanted later.
Let's say you have... So I'm not lying.🙂
Most of the time, the examples are inspired by my own chart, but not fully, because god forbid I would give out tmi.
So you are a good example that opening up works - that's inspiring! Thank you!🙂
Posted by malloryorPosted by HappyCapperSorry to hear you got burned!😢Posted by malloryorBut you used to?
Nope. I dont do that shit no more.
Got burned?
Yeah. I am a very open and honest person. I prefer honesty and transparency in my relationships. I hate coming into relationships with too much of a shield and guard, to me that sets things off on this negative note.click to expand
May I ask, do you consider leaving information out being dishonest (let's assume the info is not on a need to know basis)?
Posted by HappyCapperif the definition of opening up here is to share everything, then my answer is NO and NEVER.Posted by iCloud9I'm talking about any human relationship.
if you are talking about opening up in a romantic relationship, how emotionally compatible two people are play a big role. i'm very emotionally expressive with the right partner yet i couldn't open up to any of my ex until i wanted out. i learned that emotional compatibility is crucial for me to reach my true potential in a love relationship. it did take a bit of time to get more and more comfortable with the right person but with the wrong person there was always this blockage.
May I ask, have you ever opened up to someone completely?click to expand
in fact, i find people who volunteer too much info emotionally incompatible with me. i don't need to know every little details of your life story to understand who you are.
Posted by champrangerYes, probably.🙂Posted by HappyCapperHaha, perhaps... I had asked my mom before about similar traits between her and my cousin ... and that list got shorter 😛 ... probably the age difference has a lot to do with it.Posted by champrangerYou know you can trust your mom and cousin and you see similar traits in other scorps - maybe that's why?Posted by HappyCapperPretty close to fully open:
When you "open up" to someone - what does that mean? Have you ever opened up completely to someone?
When you and another person "tell each other everything" - what does that really mean? Do you really tell each other everything?
I'm talking about the people who are/have been the closest to you.
Friends (met in person) - 1 Cap
Family - It use to be my younger Scorp cousin until I come to realize that she's never gonna trust me (for some reason). Now it's my Scorp mom.
I have a hard time resisting opening up to a Scorp by the way. I'm not sure I understand why.
And caps? Well, ofc! 😄
Must be great to be able to just let go and trust another person who gives you time and support! Takes guts. I'm happy for you!🙂
"And caps? Well, ofc! 😄"
----> I'm sure you saw that coming. 😏😎
"Must be great to be able to just let go and trust another person who gives you time and support! Takes guts. I'm happy for you! 🙂"
But that's also my achilles heel. If I completely let go and be too open, I don't think people trust me because they are likely to think I do that with everyone. I want to be able to be trusted by the people I care for ... to be a good person and friend. It sounds cheesy I'm sure lol. But it's what I take pride in.
click to expand
Well... 😏
You think they think you do what to everyone else? Being trustworthy? Being open? I don't get it.
Not cheesy...just good, imo.🙂
Posted by Chance_11So what are your weak spots? Have you opened up completely to someone?Posted by LillyPetalVery true. If done too much and not in the right contexts, it looks selfish. Everyone has been through traumatic moments and/or had people die. I think people like it when you're upfront with them. I get a lot people opening up that I didn't think would due to the fact that we hadn't interacted much if at all. I don't mind because I learn something from the interaction. Most of the time, they just want to be understood by another and it's great that they find you sincere and trusting enough right away.Posted by tizianiSharing everything is often construed as being giving, a strange form of generosity, so to speak...rarely do people ever consider that perhaps being so candid is a burdensome or selfish act.Posted by LillyPetalLive free.
Some things are best left unsaid. Not everything is meant to be shared.
Getting a cap to open up is just a matter of finding the weak spots 😉click to expand
Posted by LillyPetalI do think it makes sense. Thank you for the input.🙂Posted by HappyCapperI wish I had a more concrete answer other than "I just know because Ican intuit it." But I will try to think it through logically: I much prefer to share things as the context allows instead of a "I'm going to commit verbal and emotional diarrhea all over you in the name of sharing everything because there shouldn't be any secrets between us! Oh, and speaking of diarrhea, I will leave the bathroom door open so you can see me poop. We may as well get all things sh it related out of the way!"Posted by LillyPetalSure. Agreed.
Some things are best left unsaid. Not everything is meant to be shared.
But how much should be unsaid, you think? How much could be unsaid? How much will you leave unsaid?
But seriously, if I am speaking to my boyfriend, and the conversation we are having causes me to think of something about myself, and I feel that it will benefit him to know, and me to share, and our collective relationship, then I will tell him. Perhaps it will make the conversation more interesting or more entertaining.
If said thought only serves to give me something to say or to selfishly lessen a personal burden on me without giving him any true insight into who I am or offering a chnace for him to better understand me, or for us to understand each other, then I keep it to myself.
It sounds more complex than it is, but I hope this makes some sense to you.click to expand
Posted by LillyPetalI agree with you, yet again. That does make a difference.
Another thing: It's not all about me, whether I choose to share or not. Something may seem not worth sharing, but the moment my boyfriend either shows concern or shows interest and wants to know something, I will open up because the moment he asks is the moment that thought in my head became significant because he placed value on it through his inquiry - like the tiny scar he noticed on my index finger. I was never interested in telling anyone how I got it until he showed curiosity and wanted to hear my story. The timing of that conversation truly created a moment, and had I volunteered to divulge it sooner, for no real reason other than to "share everything," then it would have simply been yet another fact about me in an overwhelming plethora of things I spewed at him in the name of sharing.
I guess I try to share thoughtfully instead of arbitrarily and completely just for the sake of sharing.
Posted by blackphaseOh yes, I agree. If you want good advice, you have to give as much info as is needed, definitely. I tend to be open(well, at least relatively open) on dxp because no one here knows who I am. 😏Posted by HappyCapperWell you are quite welcome then 🙂Posted by blackphaseLOL I tell you guys more than I tell my friends and partners too, at times. And still, that's not a lot. I mean, even when I ask for help with some theoretical astrology question, I don't give my own placements at times, but instead do the:
I am a very open person, but only with the one I am choosing to spend my life with. No one else will ever know me the way I allow them to. Okay.. that's a lie, I tell everything to you guys as well.. I am an open book on here too.. But in regard to the people directly involved in my life, I don't choose to share much with them. I do tell everything to my s/o, even if they are not entirely open with me.. I feel it's very important that they know me inside and out. I am very open about myself even early on in a relationship, actually before the relationship even begins I have a lot to let someone in on as I don't want to even begin a relationship with someone unless they are aware of certain things and are able to accept them. I don't like to waste my time and have a difficult time letting go of someone once attached, so I air a lot about myself including insecurities before even getting attached. Take me or leave me, but don't string me along just to decide I'm not what you wanted later.
Let's say you have... So I'm not lying.🙂
Most of the time, the examples are inspired by my own chart, but not fully, because god forbid I would give out tmi.
So you are a good example that opening up works - that's inspiring! Thank you!🙂
I tend to be very open here just because I want honest advice. No point in dancing around the topic when I just want someone to give it to me straight.click to expand
Thanks again!🙂
Posted by iCloud9I agree in a sense. I do want to get what makes them tick, and sure, you don't need to know every detail of their lives to get that somewhat well sorted out. But I do like to figure things out as we go...which is why I agree that too fast too soon is not very attractive to me either. If I get everything at once, I guess they were not interesting enough. I guess, WYSIWYG types aren't really for me.Posted by HappyCapperif the definition of opening up here is to share everything, then my answer is NO and NEVER.Posted by iCloud9I'm talking about any human relationship.
if you are talking about opening up in a romantic relationship, how emotionally compatible two people are play a big role. i'm very emotionally expressive with the right partner yet i couldn't open up to any of my ex until i wanted out. i learned that emotional compatibility is crucial for me to reach my true potential in a love relationship. it did take a bit of time to get more and more comfortable with the right person but with the wrong person there was always this blockage.
May I ask, have you ever opened up to someone completely?
in fact, i find people who volunteer too much info emotionally incompatible with me. i don't need to know every little details of your life story to understand who you are.click to expand
Posted by AlphaI agree...unless it's over a period of a life time...🙂
If opening up refers to sharing everything in the present and past, then the other person might lose interest after a while.
Have you ever opened up to someone completely?
Posted by champrangerAh, I see. Sounds weird, though. Saying things about yourself and leaking what others have told you in confidence are two veeery different things. I say good riddance. 🙂Posted by HappyCapperHaha 😎Posted by champrangerYes, probably.🙂Posted by HappyCapperHaha, perhaps... I had asked my mom before about similar traits between her and my cousin ... and that list got shorter 😛 ... probably the age difference has a lot to do with it.Posted by champrangerYou know you can trust your mom and cousin and you see similar traits in other scorps - maybe that's why?Posted by HappyCapperPretty close to fully open:
When you "open up" to someone - what does that mean? Have you ever opened up completely to someone?
I'm talking about the people who are/have been the closest to you.
Friends (met in person) - 1 Cap
Family - It use to be my younger Scorp cousin until I come to realize that she's never gonna trust me (for some reason). Now it's my Scorp mom.
I have a hard time resisting opening up to a Scorp by the way. I'm not sure I understand why.
And caps? Well, ofc! 😄
Must be great to be able to just let go and trust another person who gives you time and support! Takes guts. I'm happy for you!🙂
"And caps? Well, ofc! 😄"
----> I'm sure you saw that coming. 😏😎
"Must be great to be able to just let go and trust another person who gives you time and support! Takes guts. I'm happy for you! 🙂"
But that's also my achilles heel. If I completely let go and be too open, I don't think people trust me because they are likely to think I do that with everyone. I want to be able to be trusted by the people I care for ... to be a good person and friend. It sounds cheesy I'm sure lol. But it's what I take pride in.
Well... 😏
You think they think you do what to everyone else? Being trustworthy? Being open? I don't get it.
Not cheesy...just good, imo.🙂
That is my speculation in regards to some cases where I got mysteriously iced or not trusted... that I think they would believe I would tell whatever they said to me to other people because I seem too open. I could be wrong. 🙂click to expand
Who can you trust besides yourself.
@HappyCapper- Yeah dating is stressful and it's supposed to be fun.. Well the fun wears off as soon as I catch your lies, manipulative smooth talks, and inconsistent behavior, the thing is I let it go until it becomes an on going thing..
. Most people will only put up and open up so much but then may be taken advantage of my kindness and I am up front.. I don't even know how to play in between games like they either like me as is and hope I can accept their flaws too..lol..
I rather date some one who may have been hurt in their lives because people like that don't play games. I tend to be lenient, laid back attitude, and hope they see outlooks so we can get along. I just want the best friend /lover ...but it seems like it always stays just friends.
. Most people will only put up and open up so much but then may be taken advantage of my kindness and I am up front.. I don't even know how to play in between games like they either like me as is and hope I can accept their flaws too..lol..
I rather date some one who may have been hurt in their lives because people like that don't play games. I tend to be lenient, laid back attitude, and hope they see outlooks so we can get along. I just want the best friend /lover ...but it seems like it always stays just friends.
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428Sounds really frustrating! How often do you go on dates, if I may ask?
@HappyCapper- Yeah dating is stressful and it's supposed to be fun.. Well the fun wears off as soon as I catch your lies, manipulative smooth talks, and inconsistent behavior, the thing is I let it go until it becomes an on going thing..
. Most people will only put up and open up so much but then may be taken advantage of my kindness and I am up front.. I don't even know how to play in between games like they either like me as is and hope I can accept their flaws too..lol..
I rather date some one who may have been hurt in their lives because people like that don't play games. I tend to be lenient, laid back attitude, and hope they see outlooks so we can get along. I just want the best friend /lover ...but it seems like it always stays just friends.
Posted by MarchPisc3sHow about you? Have you ever opened up to someone completely?Posted by Koniucha
I did with one person and they eventually turned it against me, so never again.
Say it ain't' so Scorpio.click to expand
Posted by MarchPisc3sIt could be.🙂Posted by HappyCapperPosted by MarchPisc3sHow about you? Have you ever opened up to someone completely?Posted by Koniucha
I did with one person and they eventually turned it against me, so never again.
Say it ain't' so Scorpio.
This is ain't about me lolclick to expand
Posted by MarchPisc3sAww, come on. Have you ever completely opened up to anyone?🙂Posted by HappyCapperPosted by MarchPisc3sIt could be.🙂Posted by HappyCapperPosted by MarchPisc3sHow about you? Have you ever opened up to someone completely?Posted by Koniucha
I did with one person and they eventually turned it against me, so never again.
Say it ain't' so Scorpio.
This is ain't about me lol
Naw lolclick to expand
Posted by MarchPisc3sThank you!🙂Posted by HappyCapperPosted by MarchPisc3sAww, come on. Have you ever completely opened up to anyone?🙂Posted by HappyCapperPosted by MarchPisc3sIt could be.🙂Posted by HappyCapperPosted by MarchPisc3sHow about you? Have you ever opened up to someone completely?Posted by Koniucha
I did with one person and they eventually turned it against me, so never again.
Say it ain't' so Scorpio.
This is ain't about me lol
Naw lol
Yeah myself lol.click to expand
Posted by HappyCapperPosted by malloryor@HappyCapperPosted by HappyCapperSorry to hear you got burned!😢Posted by malloryorBut you used to?
Nope. I dont do that shit no more.
Got burned?
Yeah. I am a very open and honest person. I prefer honesty and transparency in my relationships. I hate coming into relationships with too much of a shield and guard, to me that sets things off on this negative note.
May I ask, do you consider leaving information out being dishonest (let's assume the info is not on a need to know basis)?click to expand
Thanks sweetie, but I'm okay, your compassion is heartwarming 🙂
When I wrote about honesty and transparency, I was more so speaking of myself and how I am in general. I'm just a very expressive, honest, open person. Of course, that means I'm sharing things that I feel no sort of shame for so maybe it's biased haha but no, in GENERAL I don't consider leaving out information dishonest. However, leaving out information can mean a whole host of things, so for me, it really comes down to what is being withheld and the why. If it is not on a need to know basis, and the person I am seeing chooses to not disclose the information, I wouldn't feel betrayed, or feel they are obligated to tell me...so long as it is not information that affects me in some negative way.
Posted by MarchPisc3sI took your response as an answer to my question, so I thanked you. Maybe I was wrong. Was the answer something like "mainly no," like I interpreted it, or...? Feel free to elaborate. 🙂Posted by HappyCapperPosted by MarchPisc3sThank you!🙂Posted by HappyCapperPosted by MarchPisc3sAww, come on. Have you ever completely opened up to anyone?🙂Posted by HappyCapperPosted by MarchPisc3sIt could be.🙂Posted by HappyCapperPosted by MarchPisc3sHow about you? Have you ever opened up to someone completely?Posted by Koniucha
I did with one person and they eventually turned it against me, so never again.
Say it ain't' so Scorpio.
This is ain't about me lol
Naw lol
Yeah myself lol.
Your welcome—click to expand
Posted by malloryorPosted by HappyCapper@malloryorPosted by malloryor@HappyCapperPosted by HappyCapperSorry to hear you got burned!😢Posted by malloryorBut you used to?
Nope. I dont do that shit no more.
Got burned?
Yeah. I am a very open and honest person. I prefer honesty and transparency in my relationships. I hate coming into relationships with too much of a shield and guard, to me that sets things off on this negative note.
May I ask, do you consider leaving information out being dishonest (let's assume the info is not on a need to know basis)?
Thanks sweetie, but I'm okay, your compassion is heartwarming 🙂
When I wrote about honesty and transparency, I was more so speaking of myself and how I am in general. I'm just a very expressive, honest, open person. Of course, that means I'm sharing things that I feel no sort of shame for so maybe it's biased haha but no, in GENERAL I don't consider leaving out information dishonest. However, leaving out information can mean a whole host of things, so for me, it really comes down to what is being withheld and the why. If it is not on a need to know basis, and the person I am seeing chooses to not disclose the information, I wouldn't feel betrayed, or feel they are obligated to tell me...so long as it is not information that affects me in some negative way.
click to expand
Good to hear!🙂
What if your partner of six years didn't tell you that they, for example, had been raped or that someone had seriously threatened to kill them and you found out - how would you feel about them not having told you?
@MarchPisc3s
Great! Thank you! Was my interpretation of it right?
Great! Thank you! Was my interpretation of it right?
Posted by MarchPisc3sWould you like to open up more?Posted by HappyCapper
@MarchPisc3s
Great! Thank you! Was my interpretation of it right?
I guessclick to expand
Posted by MarchPisc3sAbout yourself.Posted by HappyCapperPosted by MarchPisc3sWould you like to open up more?Posted by HappyCapper
@MarchPisc3s
Great! Thank you! Was my interpretation of it right?
I guess
About—click to expand
@HappyCapper that's a very serious revelation. If they never told me, I wouldnt be angry because those things are seriously traumatic and you cant expect someone to feel comfortable disclosing that information. I would want to know more about the death threat though, I would need to make sure my life is safe too.
Posted by malloryorThank you!
@HappyCapper that's a very serious revelation. If they never told me, I wouldnt be angry because those things are seriously traumatic and you cant expect someone to feel comfortable disclosing that information. I would want to know more about the death threat though, I would need to make sure my life is safe too.
I agree. If your life was in any way threatened, the information would most definitely be on a need to know basis, imo. I'm even tempted to argue that even if only the partner currently had a death threat over his or her head, it would still be on a need to know basis.
Posted by HappyCapperOh yeah, of course. If you know your life is in danger in your present life, you most certainly should tell your love ones. For all you know, you may be placing their life in danger.Posted by malloryorThank you!
@HappyCapper that's a very serious revelation. If they never told me, I wouldnt be angry because those things are seriously traumatic and you cant expect someone to feel comfortable disclosing that information. I would want to know more about the death threat though, I would need to make sure my life is safe too.
I agree. If your life was in any way threatened, the information would most definitely be on a need to know basis, imo. I'm even tempted to argue that even if only the partner currently had a death threat over his or her head, it would still be on a need to know basis.click to expand
Posted by NemiliciousYes! I really want that(if I ever gave someone the chance to show me that I could). I'm happy for you!🙂Posted by HappyCapperBeing open does not imo equate to telling another person all of my thoughts, motives or experiences, but knowing i can do so without breaking the foundation of our friendship. It is quite an elevating feeling. Sometimes it is not even so much about talking, it is non verbal and an energetic communication. I share this mutual bond with my best and closest friend. I would not want this in every single friendship i have.
When you "open up" to someone - what does that mean? Have you ever opened up completely to someone?
When you and another person "tell each other everything" - what does that really mean? Do you really tell each other everything?
I'm talking about the people who are/have been the closest to you.click to expand
Do you feel relief in the fact that this friend knows a lot about you, or is it mostly the acceptance of you as a person?
Posted by angel43That's so sweet!🙂
My Capricorn opened up to me through a text because it was so hard for him in person. He said I had his heart, and so much more. I am home to him etc. He is usually joking around a lot, so when he broke down, and poured out his heart, he made me melt :-) He even had tears in his eyes once...
How long have you been together?
Posted by NemiliciousMust say that I actually do have that (so awsome!)...and with a man...who there is no future with *sighs*. It's when it comes to talking about some personal things and feelings and some facts that I divert the topic. If I understand you correctly, you share a lot of information about yourselves too. No?Posted by HappyCapperThank you. 🙂Posted by NemiliciousYes! I really want that(if I ever gave someone the chance to show me that I could). I'm happy for you!🙂Posted by HappyCapperBeing open does not imo equate to telling another person all of my thoughts, motives or experiences, but knowing i can do so without breaking the foundation of our friendship. It is quite an elevating feeling. Sometimes it is not even so much about talking, it is non verbal and an energetic communication. I share this mutual bond with my best and closest friend. I would not want this in every single friendship i have.
When you "open up" to someone - what does that mean? Have you ever opened up completely to someone?
When you and another person "tell each other everything" - what does that really mean? Do you really tell each other everything?
I'm talking about the people who are/have been the closest to you.
Do you feel relief in the fact that this friend knows a lot about you, or is it mostly the acceptance of you as a person?
I would not call it relief ...moreso a connection that was effortless from day one, like we just know each others core. No necessity explaining oneself or justifying ones actions ...you exchange a look and you know without much talk whats up. Even across a room, body language is spot on too. Also we can have different views on an issues. Never fought once in the 11 years we know each other lol. Pity we're both straight girls, never met a man with whom i had this sort of connection.
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Posted by NemiliciousWe've known each other 20+ years and our history is long and very complicated. I don't think any one of us is or will be interested in anyone else, so I guess it's going to be eternal single life for me...and for him. I don't even want to think about him dying before me - I'd probably be out on the moors, crying Heathcliff. 😢
Why is there no future with this man?
Yes, we talk very openly about whatever is going on in our lives. And how much we appreciate our friendship. I think if my friend were to die before me i would seriously loose my orientation and perspective in life.
Posted by GobshiteOuuuuch! That hurt even me, and I only read about it.😢
I once did.
God, what a mess I made - blood, sweat and tears everywhere, with my dangling heart resting on one of my sleeves.
It's a good thing she was a surgeon...
Okay, she was a trainee vet but it's practically the same thing.
Would you be willing to do it(the opening up part...) again? Or is it too soon to even ask?
Posted by angel43I'm going to guess you said yes. Super congrats!🙂
We have been together for almost two years, and he asked me to move in with him this June :-)
Posted by angel43Question: you are moving in with him because YOU want to, right? Because it sounds a little like you are doing it as a favour to him - to help him. Will YOU be lifted by it? Is he the light in YOUR tunnel? Truth is, he has going to have to save himself...with your support, ofc, but you can't be solely responsible for his happiness. He has to help himself. Did I sound like a pessimistic capricorn now? lol I call it realistic.🙂
Thank you! I said yes, although it is an hour away from where I live now, but sometimes change is a good thing. :-) So, you are a Happy Cappy? lol 😉 I have met many caps that are not, so that is awesome. They can be happy, but they are very pessimistic at times. My cap tells me I am the light at the end of the tunnel for him lol. He gets so down sometimes, and I do my best to lift him up. Moving in together will help him a lot, I know that. He misses me when we are apart, and he really wants home and family..
I didn't read the whole thread, so I was wondering if you opened up and regretted it? or you are just curious about others opinions?
I am trying to learn to open up, at least a bit and wanted to listen to other people's experiences. I have never really opened up to anyone ever and I don't know how healthy that is.
Im rather open, but I omit what needs to be omitted. I like being open but there's a time for it.
Posted by angel43Bold text = major red flag. Oh well, I'm probably wrong. I wish you all the best!🙂
You are absolutely right about him having to do it himself, and tell him that all of the time lol. I have been there for him, and he has for me as well. Us Libra females are known stick by our men in their struggles, and ohhhhh what a struggle it has been. He is not the light at the end of my tunnel right now, but my gut feeling tells me things will get better. I am very intuitive as well, so I just know things sometimes 😉 A capricorn that is not where they want to be in life, especially in a career, will be very critical and pessimistic as well.. He had gotten much better as it gets closer to move in time :-) He has been in the dog house many times though lol.
You don't sound like a pessimist lol, I got the Libran logic, so although I get lost in fairy tale land at times lol, I am realistic as well..
Hmmmm, I know how hard it is as a Capricorn to open up, and its hard for me as well. My ex was a capricorn and he said so many of things that my current cap said to me. I didn't open up to him, as much as he did to me, and I regret it. He and I were like two peas in a pod lol, but everything else broke us up, long story. I am able to open up with my guy now for the first time in 43 years lol. It is so cute when I tell him something, he tries to act like he isn't affected by the comment, but he has this little smile on his face lol, so cute, and he is a big tough guy...
Maybe when you find the right person you will be able to open up a little at a time. Don't regret it like I did..
Sweeet!🙂 Love it!🙂
Found him - still can't. It's like my lips refuse to move.Oh well. One day, one day...🙂
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"a lot of people want to know when they...don't really want to know, you know? In that case..it's meaningless."
Yup.
"The best disguise is always a self portrait."
Very clever...and probably the only form of disguise I've never used. Gem rising outside a cap sun...simply doesn't work.😉
My father can look at me and instinctively just get it. He may not know any facts, but he just gets me in some strange way. I blame his cancer moon.🙂
"to me opening up with major things I've been through hasn't been a problem. It's the idle thoughts, the random ideas and emotions I get ...where I am liable not to share them if it makes sense. Those make up a private world…[]"
That makes a lot of sense. I can't say I've informed people of all the shit that has happened to me, but things like a car accident, for instance, I would inform people about if I had some reason to, but I would do it in passing and make them think it was way less dramatic than it actually was. And then I would change the subject.
"[]...and I'd have to gauge if I can pull you in..not because I'm worried of betrayal but because you'd have to vibe in the same way with me to get it"
...but you continue...which is what I don't do. I may gauge them, but just as a means to get to know them - not as a way to see if I can continue...because I won't anyway. That's really good, what you do! I wish I could find a way to do that.
"It's a bit like this story I read about putting stones in a jar then presenting it to people like "Look, it's full to the brink". Then they all agree and you add sand to it, proving it wasn't really full. So the stones aka milestones in my life I share easily because they don't define me...,it's more the sand that defines me."
Yup. In most cases that's how it works for me too.
"They don't care about sand or stones or anything, we just build a universe and live in it. No words or great confessions needed at times."
Don't they, though? I mean, if you really want to open up to each other, this information forms a framework for you to build your knowledge of each other upon...which makes it easier to communicate, relate and trust each other. I know, I know - says I, the master of...nothing. It just feels to me that it would be the best way to do it...if you can.🙂
Tired and rambling - I hope this made any sense.