Is modern dating screwed?

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by Bloop on Friday, April 8, 2016 and has 43 replies.

Profile picture of RumiL
@RumiL
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Yes.

It has always been screwed...human relationships...

Humans are always humans.

Only more instances of screwing up now because of sooooo many platforms to screw it and easy to look for an(plenty of) exit these days.

But there's still good people...like how they were in the past..

Profile picture of Bloop
@Bloop
10 Years

Posted by RumiL
Yes.

It has always been screwed...human relationships...

Humans are always humans.

Only more instances of screwing up now because of sooooo many platforms to screw it and easy to look for an(plenty of) exit these days.

But there's still good people...like how they were in the past..

But where would one find those good people if one were to look for them? Surely not Tinder

Profile picture of Bloop
@Bloop
10 Years

Posted by tiziani
I've never dated but if I did I would thank jeezy for Tinder. It brought a lot of transparency to the game. At least in this country. I hear it varies wildly elsewhere.

Which country?

Profile picture of Bloop
@Bloop
10 Years

Posted by BG2
Remember the days when someone would just come up to you at a bookstore, strike up a conversation and get a cup of coffee, without being thought of as a weirdo?

It still happens but so rarely. On my side of the world, anyway.

Where you from?

Profile picture of Quantum
@Quantum
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by tiziani
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Well idk but people here bring there tinder or social media dating problems here so I am saying that because it's here in dxp. Lol..

yeah I hear Tinder is a lot more insane in the US so I can't comment.

click to expand

Tinder SHOULD be making things a lot clearer for people. I mean if you're just looking for something casual Tinder should be a prime app...you weed out all the clingy ones.

But alas....

Profile picture of Quantum
@Quantum
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Online dating should just be another tool.

It's the new millenium equivalent of 50 cent beer night and writing down a phone number on a napkin.

Instead it's become a replacement for one's personality.

Profile picture of RumiL
@RumiL
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by Bloop
Posted by RumiL
Yes.

It has always been screwed...human relationships...

Humans are always humans.

Only more instances of screwing up now because of sooooo many platforms to screw it and easy to look for an(plenty of) exit these days.

But there's still good people...like how they were in the past..

But where would one find those good people if one were to look for them? Surely not Tinder

click to expand


you'll find when you stop looking! :p

Idk lol. There are good people everywhere.. We can never predict our relationship..

Profile picture of justagirl
@justagirl
12 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by Quantum
Posted by tiziani
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Well idk but people here bring there tinder or social media dating problems here so I am saying that because it's here in dxp. Lol..

yeah I hear Tinder is a lot more insane in the US so I can't comment.

Tinder SHOULD be making things a lot clearer for people. I mean if you're just looking for something casual Tinder should be a prime app...you weed out all the clingy ones.

But alas....

click to expand


That is what tinder was started as- Hook ups.. But well, we all see the threads so yaaa.

Too each their own, I tried okcupid and deleted it same day- the creeps came out before I even finished my profile. Had one basic pic up and was flooded. Lol

Back before all these dating apps I did match.com, meet some decent peeps that way.

In today's time, no thank you to any dating site/app. I'd rather meet someone face to face..

Profile picture of Quantum
@Quantum
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by GetMisted
Posted by Quantum
Posted by tiziani
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Well idk but people here bring there tinder or social media dating problems here so I am saying that because it's here in dxp. Lol..

yeah I hear Tinder is a lot more insane in the US so I can't comment.

Tinder SHOULD be making things a lot clearer for people. I mean if you're just looking for something casual Tinder should be a prime app...you weed out all the clingy ones.

But alas....

Naw..

40% of the profiles I come across explicitly state "swipe left if looking for hook ups".
30% are bots.
20% are there just to network (mostly hair dressers looking for clients).
10% are actually looking for a hookup.

click to expand

That's what I mean...Tinder is pretty explicit. It's the users themselves that misinterpret it.

Profile picture of Bloop
@Bloop
10 Years

Posted by komorebi
Posted by xtina
@op
No.
Yes, the relationship dynamics has changed but we humans will do what we do best which is adapt.

Posted by Astrobyn
is it screwed or are we just moving into a society where paring up its not necessary, and family has less and less value.

I agree with these!

In my interpretation it's more of a transformation. Not to sound too cheesy, I find that capitalism has influenced all aspects of our lives. (Not just economically, but social/cultural/sexual capital, etc.) Modern (Western) dating resembles the mode of production of its society; dating has become a market where people barter the various forms of capital they possess.

E.g., A beautiful, young educated woman can go on these sites advertising her sexual capital and education capital to appeal to prospect/interested mates.

Also, relationship dynamics have changed. With greater percentage and representation of women in the workforce, the idea of a nuclear family has transformed. Women are no longer bound by a male-dominant income earner compared to the past.

What makes me somewhat uncomfortable with the means of modern dating (e.g., websites, social media, apps) is how commodified people are; there's a certain disconnect because to first get to know someone requires some degree of cost-benefit analysis. Provided, choice has always been part of dating, but now there seems to be a shopping list of criteria before even giving a chance to know someone.

click to expand

Wow. This actually makes a LOT of sense.

Profile picture of Bloop
@Bloop
10 Years

Posted by Astrobyn
is it screwed or are we just moving into a society where paring up its not necessary, and family has less and less value.

It is screwed and what you said.
Both of them, but not related.

People on tinder arent looking to "partner up"

Profile picture of Bloop
@Bloop
10 Years

Posted by komorebi
Posted by Bloop
Posted by komorebi
Posted by xtina
@op
No.
Yes, the relationship dynamics has changed but we humans will do what we do best which is adapt.

Posted by Astrobyn
is it screwed or are we just moving into a society where paring up its not necessary, and family has less and less value.

I agree with these!

In my interpretation it's more of a transformation. Not to sound too cheesy, I find that capitalism has influenced all aspects of our lives. (Not just economically, but social/cultural/sexual capital, etc.) Modern (Western) dating resembles the mode of production of its society; dating has become a market where people barter the various forms of capital they possess.

E.g., A beautiful, young educated woman can go on these sites advertising her sexual capital and education capital to appeal to prospect/interested mates.

Also, relationship dynamics have changed. With greater percentage and representation of women in the workforce, the idea of a nuclear family has transformed. Women are no longer bound by a male-dominant income earner compared to the past.

What makes me somewhat uncomfortable with the means of modern dating (e.g., websites, social media, apps) is how commodified people are; there's a certain disconnect because to first get to know someone requires some degree of cost-benefit analysis. Provided, choice has always been part of dating, but now there seems to be a shopping list of criteria before even giving a chance to know someone.

Wow. This actually makes a LOT of sense.

Aww I'm glad. Didn't want to make it sound extremely off the wall. 😆

click to expand

Do you have strong mercury aspects?

Profile picture of Bloop
@Bloop
10 Years

Posted by Scruffles
Yes and no.

Yes.. because we seem to have devolved into a hook-up culture. Free, instant sex just a swipe away with little to no effort.

No.. because dating sites/apps are just another avenue to meet people. You can't be the only one out of millions who wants to fall in love.

I think love can, and does, happen anywhere.

Problem is that people (especially guys) on that site aren't looking for love

Profile picture of Bloop
@Bloop
10 Years

Posted by GetMisted
Posted by tiziani
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Well idk but people here bring there tinder or social media dating problems here so I am saying that because it's here in dxp. Lol..

yeah I hear Tinder is a lot more insane in the US so I can't comment.

Tinder in the US is mainly bots.

click to expand

What would a bot running company (I am assuming a tech company) achieve out of bots of thee sites when you dont really need bots as thre are enough people on the sire alredy.

I thought bots were needed when there are less people , to make a site look crowded.

Profile picture of Bloop
@Bloop
10 Years

Posted by exxtasyx
I was on POF for like a year and some of the guys were super sweet but most of the guys were just horny and curious. The more I talked to the majority of them the more I realized they just wanted to "experiment" with me. I got a message from a Capricorn guy at one point who wanted me to be myself around him but when we would go out for dates he wanted me to act and dress "straight." That was interesting.

Haha...what an Ass