@Emhendo
9 Years1,000+ PostsCancer
Some Motivation
Sounds like an old issue for you: self sabotage.
When things are going right, that old belief that you don't deserve to have/get nice thing creeps back in and ruins it for ya.
Making peace with it is far easier said than done, but if/when you manage it, the difference will feel like night and day.
You need to make peace with whatever makes you believe you don't deserve to be happy. Maybe a bad choice you made in the past that caused big problems for you/family and/or other people. Or maybe someone you mistreated who either didn't deserve it or you went overboard with the punishment.
I made peace with my demons a long time ago. I hurt a lot of people many many years ago, and when both of my first loves seemed to give up on me, I started believing that I deserved it because I had done bad things.
But then I looked deep down into myself and realized I'm not that bad of a guy. What I did back then was out of necessity. If a certain event hadn't happened, I would've never done the things I did. I was a product of my circumstances. And then I realized I'm actually pretty fun and I have a lot of good to give. And I deserve to be happy as much as anyone else does.
And you need to try and convince yourself that you too deserve to be happy.
Don’t smoke crack
And what exactly were YOU snorting when you thought it was a good idea to make a kissy deal with Crowley??
Looks an awful lot like you.....just saying....
Don’t smoke crack
If you didn't like it, then I know it's not for me
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Give your best speech/pep talk/words of wisdom.
You can speak to me directly, or speak generally if you want everyone else to feel what you saying... Some of us just need some motivation. I usually can go without and push myself - even on my worst days..
But I feel like if I can hear something positive and it's just not my mom that wants me to do good, I can do better.
Lately I been coming to school late, waiting last minute on my studies.. Coming to work late (never called off, never did a no-call-no-show).. And it's very unacceptable. I did some things in life that set me back, and now I have the tools to set me free in ways that separates me from the system.. And I feel as if I'm taking it for granted.
This is all I ever wanted and I been fuckin it up lately.