ugh

how do relationships actually work? i mean i bet it takes a lot of hours just to support an apartment. So basically, do people even actually spend quality time together? is love between two people in a relationships even necessary in this world? i am NOT going to end up as those women who are in those relatoinshps where the man comes home late and eats dinner, and then after SAYS OH! LETS HAVE SEX BABY! UH UH UH! SEX TIME OVER and goes to bed. But in the end... doesnt it always end up that way? Is this how relationships and marriages rott away? Someone who's actually married, keywords here: whos actually married, please fill me in?

wow..my friend andy has changed, i guess people change, but wow. He has definetly changed. He used to be extremely religious, having high opininos, but now he talks about having sex and doing drugs when he attends college. I cannot accept it if i dont agree with it. And so many random thoughts. I'm just wasting space!! aGHADFALSJDF!!

hm i guess nobody's married here 😛 oh wells, not like i care anymore

hm i guess nobody's married here 😛 oh wells, not like i care anymore

How about "prior married"? You limited the posts, mebbe?

ok ok, if you were married sometime in your lifetime

My first apartment as a "couple" thing, was the best. The whole time period was interesting, learning about each other, time to think, do or not do anything... I enjoyed getting up in the mornings, etc.
About work: I think both partners should work outside the home (whether for pay or not). I think people need "X" amount of stimulation in a day. Staying home dulls your mind.

Here's a quote I like regarding the above:

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

I like that last part.

I haven't lived with anyone yet. Was supposed to move in with my ex, before we were exes, but being the chicken $ hit that he was, it never happened. 🙂

You'll enjoy it when it happens. Something to look 4Word2.

I think I'll only enjoy it with the right (perfect) person. lol. jk

I'm married Luz. Unfortunately I can't give any tips (re your query) as I have never really experienced that. Sorry.

i'm talking about if you guys had work and worked till really late at night and didnt have any time for eachother.

My hubby works from 2.30pm to 12.30am, so the 'coming home from work thing' doesn't really work here, b/c I am usually in bed.

:o

I spend a lot of time at the pub. I have yet to hear a mate ask for advice on how to combine a relationship and a career. Maybe we just don't do it.

Luz.. if on different shifts, the two people would try to make time, or at least, spend that small interval when one or the other was "off", together. Am I reading this right?

mhmm.....

so how does the relationship communicate and grow/

It can only communicate and grow if it's just the two people with complete loyalty--nobody else getting in the middle of things...

i guess....

Luz.. One more try at this one.. You both need time together, however you make that happen. If different shifts.. "make that happen". Both have to "be" there mentally as well.. not just together in one place. I think you know what you already need, or what it is you aren't getting. From prior conversations with you, I think you are aware. You need to be met halfway. I think you can.

lol im getting all i need, we're both perfect for eachother, but i was curious and wanted to get heads up on the future since some of you are way older than me and experienced some of these things...

i guess there needs to be a balance between being "together" and being at work. But a marriage becoming a schedule sounds like such a bore. Surprises are best.

anyway, thank you all for your comments!

Here's my tuppence worth....marriage is great in theory....but in practice, I'm afraid it doesn't work. OK, you have got the hots for someone, you fall in love, you think you want to be together forever and all is fine for the first few years maybe. BUT then the boredom factor kicks in...I don't care what people say, it becomes a routine, the spark begins to dwindle, sex is still good, he makes you come, you can make him come!!! but the magic spark/lust/ factor goes for good - (I don't really know the exact word for it - it just diminishes over time - I wish it wasn't that way, I really do. In marriage everything becms predictable and routine-ish and you know what's going to happen day in and day out. This might suit some people - but deep down in all people hearts, they want a little unpredictability, a little excitment, a little of the unknown from the so many other people out there that can be "known". I am that soldier....I've been there....Every married woman owes it to herself to have an affair - and perhaps every married man too....when you are married, they know they have you.....when you aren't, they know they haven't and that is the difference....forbidden fruit and all that thingy:-) Oh my!

Err.. Everything you said can be true.. Things can become old, but don't have to be. The affair route isn't the method I'd choose. Sexual boredom isn't something that's only 1 partners responsiblity, and boredom in general, is Not the responsibility of the opposite partner.

Hmmm...I know plenty of marriages that don't fall within the description of 'routine'. However, you use the word routine as if it's a bad thing..lol. I get your point, truly I do, but I think the responsibility falls on to the couple to make life continually interesting.

I take your fair and reasonable points Espernaut and Lawgoddess, I really do.....maybe I am just making sweeping generalizations here!!!.....:-) or maybe I am trying to stir up controversy!!!.....:-) or maybe being Aquarius, my theme song is "Don't fence me in"!!!- :-) and that's where I am coming from!!!....or maybe I am just seeing things from a slightly different point of view:-)!!!......who knows— who knows!!??........and deep down who really cares:-).....
Ciao my good pals.
Alana x

i see that. but u know. i hope never to do such do to love. but yes i'd have to agree that its to the couples resonponsbility. but yes forrbinded love fun. but u know it's love and love and sex does differnet things.