@rockyroadicecream
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What is the purpose of a relationship? (Page 2)
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Posted by Insertusername
It's like friendship 2.0. Like your best friend but you got the deluxe version that comes with extra goodies.
Maybe this is why I have such a hard time even grasping some of these weirdo views and dependency- my parents always referred to each other as best friends and it's the model I grew up around.
Posted by sierraleone
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by heliumfiasco
From my personal experience, and the experience of others I know, I think a lot of it comes from habit. In your adolescents we are looking for validation so having a boyfriend or girlfriend signifies to us that we are desirable. The problem occurs when someone continuously does this through out their 20's. So, they have no idea who they are outside of the desire from another. Therefore they continue to chose anyone and end up wondering why nothing is working out. The cycle intensifies and they even more desperately need that other person. If anyone didn't have that cool down period after puberty I find they stay in a cycle. However, friends that had several years in-between relationships in younger years learned their self worth and tend to be adverse to settling or chasing relationships.You also get the panicked person starting in your 30's, that starts desperately looking for a mate because they feel their clock is ticking. Desperation however is the stinkiest cologne. We often think we are masking that scent but you can smell it from two states over.
I think a mate is meant to be a partner plain and simple. Someone to build and share things with. Kind of like business partners that like to smash. It's about the life sharing much in the way your friends bring you joy.
I've noticed that about these people too- it's a sign of them not really evolving or growing up. They stay in a very immature mindset and just go from there. The amount of people who just do not evolve from high school is alarming at times.
I'd say the panic starts late 20s, tbh. My brother pointed it out to me awhile back. He said he's noticed that women in particular, start getting really weird and pushing for stupid shit in their late 20s early 30s because of that biological clock bs. They're forcing relationships and just kinda start acting like fucknuts with this stuff. I thought about it a bit and I've noticed a similar trend with a lot of people in that age group. And it could just be they're at that point where they can settle down, which is fine. But there is a large number of people who just start panicking and making moronic life choices in order to fit the social construct/internal pressure they're forcing upon themselves.
What you said would describe her to a T, though, which is probably why she will never really grasp it. She hasn't really grown up beyond early 20s and I doubt she will if at all. I know I'll never relate or fully grasp her view point because I've grown up beyond that, while she won't get mine because she refuses to grow up beyond that.
And like I said, we usually agree to disagree, but when she started grasping at straws and saying shit like "oh well if someone doesn't need all that shit and are okay with single, they shouldn't bother with a relationship," it's like good God, how many other unevolved people are thinking like this? It's bad enough being single has a negative stigma, but now we've got the mentality that what's actually healthy should avoid relationships and the unhealthy should run full charge at one? :/
i think this is true
personally i know a virgo girl who've only known this aqua guy for 4 months and then they decided to have a baby coz she's in her late 20s and she's worried she may never get to have a kid
she miscarried
but when she told me the biological clock reason im like @-@
click to expand
Zero. Logic.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by LadyNeptune
Growing dependent on someone's service to me is kinda frightening. And it's happening right now fml.
Learn to just appreciate it and enjoy it vs depending on it.
click to expand
That's all well and good in theory. But if we break up I'm gonna have to start paying again for car repairs ? ??
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by LadyNeptune
Growing dependent on someone's service to me is kinda frightening. And it's happening right now fml.
Learn to just appreciate it and enjoy it vs depending on it.
That's all well and good in theory. But if we break up I'm gonna have to start paying again for car repairs ? ??
click to expand
Hahaha aw.
Posted by urania_ix
How you treat someone is a reflection of yourself. What I learned from Aries people is that its great to be independent because at the end of the day, you only have yourself.But as a libra, its the ability to compromise with another without lowering your standards. Shitty relationships suck but they happen to everyone. Nothing going to stop a person from making dumb desicions. But what really matters is how YOU handle it
So why do so many lower their standards to keep someone around?
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by Insertusername
It's like friendship 2.0. Like your best friend but you got the deluxe version that comes with extra goodies.
Maybe this is why I have such a hard time even grasping some of these weirdo views and dependency- my parents always referred to each other as best friends and it's the model I grew up around.
click to expand
Hmm yeah could be, I know people who look at relationships more as business deals. I guess it depends on what you were exposed to.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
I am constantly having this discussion with a Libra friend. She's of the relationship needy variety- cannot bear to be alone, cried about singledom, and then practically forced her current relationship to happen despite all the red flags.She cannot fathom the concept of one cannot have a successful relationship if they are not happy by themselves.
If you need a relationship to be happy, you have unresolved issues up the ass. I told her this when she was single and whining, and I reminded her of this when she was rushing in with this red flag city dude she's with now.
And again, it came up tonight and I reiterated my stance because she doesn't seem to grasp that one can be perfectly fine being single. My mindset is that it'll happen when it happens. In my experience, nothing good came of chasing and the things that did pan out were least expected.
Then she throws this at me-
"If someone is going to be of the mind that they don't need anyone and are perfectly happy all by themselves, then they shouldn't be with someone. Because that person isn't going to fulfil any of their needs and is going to feel pretty useless. Like, why am I even here?"
She is notoriously of the mindset that people are commodities and serve purposes to you. I have never understood this, but while I get some of what she's saying, overall, wtf are relationships for? I've never seen them as a band aid for personal issues, nor do I see it as one serving the other. It should be a complement of each other, no?
Does anyone else share a similar sentiment- you're there to serve a purpose to each other vs complementing each other and taking on life together as a team? If so, wtf is this serving a purpose shit? I wasn't aware relationships were now viewed by some as becoming a personal servant/commodity to your partner.
Overall, I'm curious how people view the purpose of a relationship in their own words.
Aries is the sign that wants a relationship that complements, while Libra is the sign that wants to merge (they are similar to Pisces in that way but different) because, well VENUS.
so they might come off a bit clingy?
but remember that Libra energy while said in the ego of the sun sign astrologers say is in the Fall, and need to merge with a stronger energy that is more or less cockier, or more arrogant. There lies the Aries energy.
But i've come to conclusion that libra in all the placements have this similar energy to be merged with the other.
its just something very natural. There's nothing wrong with it, many people are not meant to be single.
they love love partnership. they love being in a relationship, it fulfills them alot.
Posted by sierraleone
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by sierraleone
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by heliumfiasco
From my personal experience, and the experience of others I know, I think a lot of it comes from habit. In your adolescents we are looking for validation so having a boyfriend or girlfriend signifies to us that we are desirable. The problem occurs when someone continuously does this through out their 20's. So, they have no idea who they are outside of the desire from another. Therefore they continue to chose anyone and end up wondering why nothing is working out. The cycle intensifies and they even more desperately need that other person. If anyone didn't have that cool down period after puberty I find they stay in a cycle. However, friends that had several years in-between relationships in younger years learned their self worth and tend to be adverse to settling or chasing relationships.You also get the panicked person starting in your 30's, that starts desperately looking for a mate because they feel their clock is ticking. Desperation however is the stinkiest cologne. We often think we are masking that scent but you can smell it from two states over.
I think a mate is meant to be a partner plain and simple. Someone to build and share things with. Kind of like business partners that like to smash. It's about the life sharing much in the way your friends bring you joy.
I've noticed that about these people too- it's a sign of them not really evolving or growing up. They stay in a very immature mindset and just go from there. The amount of people who just do not evolve from high school is alarming at times.
I'd say the panic starts late 20s, tbh. My brother pointed it out to me awhile back. He said he's noticed that women in particular, start getting really weird and pushing for stupid shit in their late 20s early 30s because of that biological clock bs. They're forcing relationships and just kinda start acting like fucknuts with this stuff. I thought about it a bit and I've noticed a similar trend with a lot of people in that age group. And it could just be they're at that point where they can settle down, which is fine. But there is a large number of people who just start panicking and making moronic life choices in order to fit the social construct/internal pressure they're forcing upon themselves.
What you said would describe her to a T, though, which is probably why she will never really grasp it. She hasn't really grown up beyond early 20s and I doubt she will if at all. I know I'll never relate or fully grasp her view point because I've grown up beyond that, while she won't get mine because she refuses to grow up beyond that.
And like I said, we usually agree to disagree, but when she started grasping at straws and saying shit like "oh well if someone doesn't need all that shit and are okay with single, they shouldn't bother with a relationship," it's like good God, how many other unevolved people are thinking like this? It's bad enough being single has a negative stigma, but now we've got the mentality that what's actually healthy should avoid relationships and the unhealthy should run full charge at one? :/
i think this is true
personally i know a virgo girl who've only known this aqua guy for 4 months and then they decided to have a baby coz she's in her late 20s and she's worried she may never get to have a kid
she miscarried
but when she told me the biological clock reason im like @-@
Zero. Logic.
yep and she keeps attracting libras/air signs
probably coz she's got such an airy chart
click to expand
not necessarily. If it's just in the air sun, it's not enough. I attract alot of fire/water, and earth, but not air. and my husband is water/fire/ with some earth. lacks air. sooooo why is it he married an air sun, see??
and i can name alot of celebrities too with lack of air but they attract water/fire/earth and NO air.
although airy chart, can be with airy chart? sometimes i dont know, the airy peeps don't really say much to tell us that i know.
Posted by sierraleone
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by sierraleone
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by sierraleone
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by heliumfiasco
From my personal experience, and the experience of others I know, I think a lot of it comes from habit. In your adolescents we are looking for validation so having a boyfriend or girlfriend signifies to us that we are desirable. The problem occurs when someone continuously does this through out their 20's. So, they have no idea who they are outside of the desire from another. Therefore they continue to chose anyone and end up wondering why nothing is working out. The cycle intensifies and they even more desperately need that other person. If anyone didn't have that cool down period after puberty I find they stay in a cycle. However, friends that had several years in-between relationships in younger years learned their self worth and tend to be adverse to settling or chasing relationships.You also get the panicked person starting in your 30's, that starts desperately looking for a mate because they feel their clock is ticking. Desperation however is the stinkiest cologne. We often think we are masking that scent but you can smell it from two states over.
I think a mate is meant to be a partner plain and simple. Someone to build and share things with. Kind of like business partners that like to smash. It's about the life sharing much in the way your friends bring you joy.
I've noticed that about these people too- it's a sign of them not really evolving or growing up. They stay in a very immature mindset and just go from there. The amount of people who just do not evolve from high school is alarming at times.
I'd say the panic starts late 20s, tbh. My brother pointed it out to me awhile back. He said he's noticed that women in particular, start getting really weird and pushing for stupid shit in their late 20s early 30s because of that biological clock bs. They're forcing relationships and just kinda start acting like fucknuts with this stuff. I thought about it a bit and I've noticed a similar trend with a lot of people in that age group. And it could just be they're at that point where they can settle down, which is fine. But there is a large number of people who just start panicking and making moronic life choices in order to fit the social construct/internal pressure they're forcing upon themselves.
What you said would describe her to a T, though, which is probably why she will never really grasp it. She hasn't really grown up beyond early 20s and I doubt she will if at all. I know I'll never relate or fully grasp her view point because I've grown up beyond that, while she won't get mine because she refuses to grow up beyond that.
And like I said, we usually agree to disagree, but when she started grasping at straws and saying shit like "oh well if someone doesn't need all that shit and are okay with single, they shouldn't bother with a relationship," it's like good God, how many other unevolved people are thinking like this? It's bad enough being single has a negative stigma, but now we've got the mentality that what's actually healthy should avoid relationships and the unhealthy should run full charge at one? :/
i think this is true
personally i know a virgo girl who've only known this aqua guy for 4 months and then they decided to have a baby coz she's in her late 20s and she's worried she may never get to have a kid
she miscarried
but when she told me the biological clock reason im like @-@
Zero. Logic.
yep and she keeps attracting libras/air signs
probably coz she's got such an airy chart
not necessarily. If it's just in the air sun, it's not enough. I attract alot of fire/water, and earth, but not air. and my husband is water/fire/ with some earth. lacks air. sooooo why is it he married an air sun, see??
and i can name alot of celebrities too with lack of air but they attract water/fire/earth and NO air.
although airy chart, can be with airy chart? sometimes i dont know, the airy peeps don't really say much to tell us that i know.
but damn that biological clock reason is just something else -_-
click to expand
lol they can just ask the sperm bank for a donor, or ask a guy if they can have their baby but they dont need him to be around. although, i dont know any guys like that. Maybe in a big city with lots of guys.... it's just so weird and inappropriate. So i guess you'd have to have an agency for that, for sperm donors.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
I am constantly having this discussion with a Libra friend. She's of the relationship needy variety- cannot bear to be alone, cried about singledom, and then practically forced her current relationship to happen despite all the red flags.She cannot fathom the concept of one cannot have a successful relationship if they are not happy by themselves. If you need a relationship to be happy, you have unresolved issues up the ass. I told her this when she was single and whining, and I reminded her of this when she was rushing in with this red flag city dude she's with now.
And again, it came up tonight and I reiterated my stance because she doesn't seem to grasp that one can be perfectly fine being single. My mindset is that it'll happen when it happens. In my experience, nothing good came of chasing and the things that did pan out were least expected.
Then she throws this at me-
"If someone is going to be of the mind that they don't need anyone and are perfectly happy all by themselves, then they shouldn't be with someone. Because that person isn't going to fulfil any of their needs and is going to feel pretty useless. Like, why am I even here?"
She is notoriously of the mindset that people are commodities and serve purposes to you. I have never understood this, but while I get some of what she's saying, overall, wtf are relationships for? I've never seen them as a band aid for personal issues, nor do I see it as one serving the other. It should be a complement of each other, no?
Does anyone else share a similar sentiment- you're there to serve a purpose to each other vs complementing each other and taking on life together as a team? If so, wtf is this serving a purpose shit? I wasn't aware relationships were now viewed by some as becoming a personal servant/commodity to your partner.
Overall, I'm curious how people view the purpose of a relationship in their own words.
You ever notice how we're the only species on the planet that asks what's the purpose of relationships? It's not to make fun of you or criticize at all. It's to illustrate the fact that the obvious is hidden in plain view and you answered your own question in your OP and it's really simple.
The purpose of relationships is to relate...that's it. We get so caught up in the how, why, when, and where that we end up...not relating because those questions are asked with intentions of achieving our own ends...selfishness. I agree with you, people are not commodities to be consumed. Your friend is just using "logic" to justify her own selfishness and yes she uses these experiences to back that up. She attracts who she is.
People do serve a purpose. To teach us to grow beyond our own comfort zones. That doesn't commodize them, it makes them and us human. Some have to experience the lesson in order to change. Some don't. It's not about using others to grow, it's about how we relate that makes us grow...and true understanding is growth.
What is the purpose of a relationship?
To love someone 🙂
Posted by Arielle83
I'm libra and sagittarian dominant.I want to merge, but also stay away!!
Hahaaa
THE STRUGGLE
Posted by Arielle83
My Venus square Uranus loves being single.I don't understand codependency.
Even in my marriage I had freedom, i just couldn't deal with his dependence on me.
Emotional dependence kills me.
Ugh
Dude, it's soul sucking.
My brother tells me about his dependent girlfriend's drama shit and I get sick of hearing of it FOR him. It's like omg how do you deal with this?? I would have run the fuck away YEARS ago if I was with someone like that. You begin to feel almost emotionally claustrophobic in a sense, it just gets so overwhelmingly ridiculous with those types.
There's a big difference between being able to go to your partner/being there for them, and then there's just emotional leeching. The latter is so gjkaghakjbga gah.
Posted by beautifulsoul74
Posted by rockyroadicecream
I am constantly having this discussion with a Libra friend. She's of the relationship needy variety- cannot bear to be alone, cried about singledom, and then practically forced her current relationship to happen despite all the red flags.She cannot fathom the concept of one cannot have a successful relationship if they are not happy by themselves. If you need a relationship to be happy, you have unresolved issues up the ass. I told her this when she was single and whining, and I reminded her of this when she was rushing in with this red flag city dude she's with now.
And again, it came up tonight and I reiterated my stance because she doesn't seem to grasp that one can be perfectly fine being single. My mindset is that it'll happen when it happens. In my experience, nothing good came of chasing and the things that did pan out were least expected.
Then she throws this at me-
"If someone is going to be of the mind that they don't need anyone and are perfectly happy all by themselves, then they shouldn't be with someone. Because that person isn't going to fulfil any of their needs and is going to feel pretty useless. Like, why am I even here?"
She is notoriously of the mindset that people are commodities and serve purposes to you. I have never understood this, but while I get some of what she's saying, overall, wtf are relationships for? I've never seen them as a band aid for personal issues, nor do I see it as one serving the other. It should be a complement of each other, no?
Does anyone else share a similar sentiment- you're there to serve a purpose to each other vs complementing each other and taking on life together as a team? If so, wtf is this serving a purpose shit? I wasn't aware relationships were now viewed by some as becoming a personal servant/commodity to your partner.
Overall, I'm curious how people view the purpose of a relationship in their own words.
You ever notice how we're the only species on the planet that asks what's the purpose of relationships? It's not to make fun of you or criticize at all. It's to illustrate the fact that the obvious is hidden in plain view and you answered your own question in your OP and it's really simple.
The purpose of relationships is to relate...that's it. We get so caught up in the how, why, when, and where that we end up...not relating because those questions are asked with intentions of achieving our own ends...selfishness. I agree with you, people are not commodities to be consumed. Your friend is just using "logic" to justify her own selfishness and yes she uses these experiences to back that up. She attracts who she is.
People do serve a purpose. To teach us to grow beyond our own comfort zones. That doesn't commodize them, it makes them and us human. Some have to experience the lesson in order to change. Some don't. It's not about using others to grow, it's about how we relate that makes us grow...and true understanding is growth.
click to expand
...did you miss the part where I was mostly interested in others' view point on the subject? It appears that you have.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by beautifulsoul74
Posted by rockyroadicecream
I am constantly having this discussion with a Libra friend. She's of the relationship needy variety- cannot bear to be alone, cried about singledom, and then practically forced her current relationship to happen despite all the red flags.She cannot fathom the concept of one cannot have a successful relationship if they are not happy by themselves. If you need a relationship to be happy, you have unresolved issues up the ass. I told her this when she was single and whining, and I reminded her of this when she was rushing in with this red flag city dude she's with now.
And again, it came up tonight and I reiterated my stance because she doesn't seem to grasp that one can be perfectly fine being single. My mindset is that it'll happen when it happens. In my experience, nothing good came of chasing and the things that did pan out were least expected.
Then she throws this at me-
"If someone is going to be of the mind that they don't need anyone and are perfectly happy all by themselves, then they shouldn't be with someone. Because that person isn't going to fulfil any of their needs and is going to feel pretty useless. Like, why am I even here?"
She is notoriously of the mindset that people are commodities and serve purposes to you. I have never understood this, but while I get some of what she's saying, overall, wtf are relationships for? I've never seen them as a band aid for personal issues, nor do I see it as one serving the other. It should be a complement of each other, no?
Does anyone else share a similar sentiment- you're there to serve a purpose to each other vs complementing each other and taking on life together as a team? If so, wtf is this serving a purpose shit? I wasn't aware relationships were now viewed by some as becoming a personal servant/commodity to your partner.
Overall, I'm curious how people view the purpose of a relationship in their own words.
You ever notice how we're the only species on the planet that asks what's the purpose of relationships? It's not to make fun of you or criticize at all. It's to illustrate the fact that the obvious is hidden in plain view and you answered your own question in your OP and it's really simple.
The purpose of relationships is to relate...that's it. We get so caught up in the how, why, when, and where that we end up...not relating because those questions are asked with intentions of achieving our own ends...selfishness. I agree with you, people are not commodities to be consumed. Your friend is just using "logic" to justify her own selfishness and yes she uses these experiences to back that up. She attracts who she is.
People do serve a purpose. To teach us to grow beyond our own comfort zones. That doesn't commodize them, it makes them and us human. Some have to experience the lesson in order to change. Some don't. It's not about using others to grow, it's about how we relate that makes us grow...and true understanding is growth.
...did you miss the part where I was mostly interested in others' view point on the subject? It appears that you have.
click to expand
No, I didn't. That is my viewpoint. You asked for others input and I gave it
Posted by beautifulsoul74
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by beautifulsoul74
Posted by rockyroadicecream
I am constantly having this discussion with a Libra friend. She's of the relationship needy variety- cannot bear to be alone, cried about singledom, and then practically forced her current relationship to happen despite all the red flags.She cannot fathom the concept of one cannot have a successful relationship if they are not happy by themselves. If you need a relationship to be happy, you have unresolved issues up the ass. I told her this when she was single and whining, and I reminded her of this when she was rushing in with this red flag city dude she's with now.
And again, it came up tonight and I reiterated my stance because she doesn't seem to grasp that one can be perfectly fine being single. My mindset is that it'll happen when it happens. In my experience, nothing good came of chasing and the things that did pan out were least expected.
Then she throws this at me-
"If someone is going to be of the mind that they don't need anyone and are perfectly happy all by themselves, then they shouldn't be with someone. Because that person isn't going to fulfil any of their needs and is going to feel pretty useless. Like, why am I even here?"
She is notoriously of the mindset that people are commodities and serve purposes to you. I have never understood this, but while I get some of what she's saying, overall, wtf are relationships for? I've never seen them as a band aid for personal issues, nor do I see it as one serving the other. It should be a complement of each other, no?
Does anyone else share a similar sentiment- you're there to serve a purpose to each other vs complementing each other and taking on life together as a team? If so, wtf is this serving a purpose shit? I wasn't aware relationships were now viewed by some as becoming a personal servant/commodity to your partner.
Overall, I'm curious how people view the purpose of a relationship in their own words.
You ever notice how we're the only species on the planet that asks what's the purpose of relationships? It's not to make fun of you or criticize at all. It's to illustrate the fact that the obvious is hidden in plain view and you answered your own question in your OP and it's really simple.
The purpose of relationships is to relate...that's it. We get so caught up in the how, why, when, and where that we end up...not relating because those questions are asked with intentions of achieving our own ends...selfishness. I agree with you, people are not commodities to be consumed. Your friend is just using "logic" to justify her own selfishness and yes she uses these experiences to back that up. She attracts who she is.
People do serve a purpose. To teach us to grow beyond our own comfort zones. That doesn't commodize them, it makes them and us human. Some have to experience the lesson in order to change. Some don't. It's not about using others to grow, it's about how we relate that makes us grow...and true understanding is growth.
...did you miss the part where I was mostly interested in others' view point on the subject? It appears that you have.
No, I didn't. That is my viewpoint. You asked for others input and I gave it
click to expand
Yes, but this "you answered your own question" ish is just... not applicable.
Marry me @rockyroadicecream
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by beautifulsoul74
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by beautifulsoul74
Posted by rockyroadicecream
I am constantly having this discussion with a Libra friend. She's of the relationship needy variety- cannot bear to be alone, cried about singledom, and then practically forced her current relationship to happen despite all the red flags.She cannot fathom the concept of one cannot have a successful relationship if they are not happy by themselves. If you need a relationship to be happy, you have unresolved issues up the ass. I told her this when she was single and whining, and I reminded her of this when she was rushing in with this red flag city dude she's with now.
And again, it came up tonight and I reiterated my stance because she doesn't seem to grasp that one can be perfectly fine being single. My mindset is that it'll happen when it happens. In my experience, nothing good came of chasing and the things that did pan out were least expected.
Then she throws this at me-
"If someone is going to be of the mind that they don't need anyone and are perfectly happy all by themselves, then they shouldn't be with someone. Because that person isn't going to fulfil any of their needs and is going to feel pretty useless. Like, why am I even here?"
She is notoriously of the mindset that people are commodities and serve purposes to you. I have never understood this, but while I get some of what she's saying, overall, wtf are relationships for? I've never seen them as a band aid for personal issues, nor do I see it as one serving the other. It should be a complement of each other, no?
Does anyone else share a similar sentiment- you're there to serve a purpose to each other vs complementing each other and taking on life together as a team? If so, wtf is this serving a purpose shit? I wasn't aware relationships were now viewed by some as becoming a personal servant/commodity to your partner.
Overall, I'm curious how people view the purpose of a relationship in their own words.
You ever notice how we're the only species on the planet that asks what's the purpose of relationships? It's not to make fun of you or criticize at all. It's to illustrate the fact that the obvious is hidden in plain view and you answered your own question in your OP and it's really simple.
The purpose of relationships is to relate...that's it. We get so caught up in the how, why, when, and where that we end up...not relating because those questions are asked with intentions of achieving our own ends...selfishness. I agree with you, people are not commodities to be consumed. Your friend is just using "logic" to justify her own selfishness and yes she uses these experiences to back that up. She attracts who she is.
People do serve a purpose. To teach us to grow beyond our own comfort zones. That doesn't commodize them, it makes them and us human. Some have to experience the lesson in order to change. Some don't. It's not about using others to grow, it's about how we relate that makes us grow...and true understanding is growth.
...did you miss the part where I was mostly interested in others' view point on the subject? It appears that you have.
No, I didn't. That is my viewpoint. You asked for others input and I gave it
Yes, but this "you answered your own question" ish is just... not applicable.
click to expand
"I've never seen them as a band aid for personal issues, nor do I see it as one serving the other. It should be a complement of each other, no?"
These are your words correct? About midway through your first post?
As I said earlier, people can't grasp a concept that doesn't ulitmately serves their benefit. Everything that lives has evolved.
You know, @rockyroadicecream, I've been thinking about your topic question for over a week already. I think it's a very good debate question.
For me, I have always been single. I never had a relationship until this point. From what I see around me most people get in relationship for validation. Men I think mostly get their validation through sex while women through attention. Some people run from some awful situation in their own families so they could heal themselves in relationships. Some run from poverty into relationships and sometimes even switch countries. Some are terribly insecure and need a relationship to validate themselves. Some women even need to have a baby in order to validate their self worth. Some people don't even care eventually who they end up with as long as it is someone and they're in a relationship.
I'm an Aries/Taurus cusper with a Capricorn Moon and I'm also an INTJ. I'm rock solid and unfortunately my entire life I have questioned myself that maybe I'm simply too stable to be in a relationship. Sometimes I even questioned myself if I'm not some sort of a robot that missed the "how to get into a relationship guide manual" at the beginning of my birth *laughs*.
Anyways. But returning to your initial question: to me a relationship with a man means that he has to be my partner in crime. This is how I would describe it. I see it as the ultimate team that works together and not against each other. My ideal role model of a relationship is Charles and Ray Eames. This is how I would like for my future husband/partner to be like. This is the relationship I would like to have. The soul I would share my interests with and that I would be paired together in an awesome adventure to reach our even high potentials. No emotional abuse, no controlling, no possessiveness, no power play, just equality and soul expansion.
Oh, and recently I bumped into this and I found it really thought provoking:
Did this help you understand your situation?
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I know. But when they cry to you when everything goes to shit because of their blindly stupid obsession, it grows old.
This is why she and I have had this convo/debate so much. She kept putting herself in fucking stupid situations because she was blinded by OMG RELATIONSHIP AT ALL COSTS, did it wrong, and would complain about being used and abused.
You need to have your shit together on some level if you want to be in a relationship because you'll either screw yourself over from poor choices or you'll destroy the relationship in the process because you can't get your shit together.
There's nothing wrong with being in a relationship just like there isn't anything wrong with being single. To be one who looks down on singledom while going around and making shitty relationship choices is just lol because it's flawed logic. How can one view singledom as a negative when the relationships they force to happen or choose to keep are damaging to the emotional and psychological wellbeing?