Why does my husband keep comparing me physically to his ex-girlfriends?

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Sapphire23
@Sapphire23
7 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 12 · Topics: 5
My husband has always had a habit of comparing me to other women ever since we've been together. It makes me curious because he only compares me only PURELY physically to these other women he's been with never on a mental level. He never has anything else to say about these women except for their breasts and everything on their body. He's compared our breasts, buttocks, private areas and body weight. I've told him EIGHT times that I don't like it when he compares me to these other women who I've never seen a day in my life and he keeps doing it! Everytime he brings up my body they come up it's inevitable. He seems to compare me favorably to them but I feel terrible and humiliated at the same time. He tells me my boobs are little and petite and that I am the smallest woman he's ever seen. It confuses me because I'm 5ft4 146 pounds and wear a 36D cup. I ask him why he says these things and he says, "Your breasts are little to me because my exes had breasts like watermelons while yours are shaped like a pear and the size of cantaloupes but I like yours better even though their small there's were too much." When we first started dating nine months ago he told me he wanted to get me pregnant so I'd pick up some weight. Everytime it seems like I'm gaining more weight his whole demeanor changes and he gives me these sweet compliments. Like for example, seven months ago he told me, "It looks like you've picked up some weight you look mo re beautiful and sexier than before." Fastforward to two days ago he says, "It looks like your getting thicker I love it I must be doing something right." I took offense to it and couldn't take it as a compliment because I remember him shaming my weight. But even though he's continuously given me indications that he's not satisfied with the way I look he tells me he thinks I'm beautiful and that everything is perfect on me. He says his exes were bigger and had itty bitty waists with gigantic butts and breasts. He ACTS and TALKS like he's not that into me. It seems like I'm not his ideal type he seems confused. But he claims that he loves me and that he doesn't have a type and that he thinks I'm fine the way I am. This seems to be a big pattern of behavior from him and he doesn't seem to care. He doesn't make much effort to make me feel better. When I bring up how all this stuff makes me feel he dismisses my feelings and says I'm overreacting and being dramatic. Another thing he does is he will shift blame onto other people for my unhappiness like my mom or dad who I only see once in a blue moon. I feel TERRIBLE and we've only been married almost seven months. I don't think my husband loves me or nowhere in love with me, I don't think he's that attracted to me or finds me beautiful and when he says everything I'm saying is not true I don't believe him. I think he just married me to be intimate with me I don't know why he married me. He won't stop and doesn't seem to recognise the damage he's causing.
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DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius

Comments: 294 · Posts: 28989 · Topics: 654
This story feels familiar.

Well I havent read anything about him cheating, verbal abuse. Physical abuse, etc.

Your hubby Is just superficial and has a good memory and likes to think out loud.

Have you asked to go to counseling? Did u have premarriage counseling?

You're married so you gotta figure it out.

Start comparing him to your past lovers.

Give a PowerPoint presentation
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Gemitati
@Gemitati
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 2057 · Posts: 38091 · Topics: 1026
Posted by Toti
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Toti
My ex husband did the same. It started one month into our marriage. Comparing to his exes, praising their physical attributes. Now, I'm very confident and I know I'm good looking so he couldn't really affect me.
Later, verbal abuse became emotional and physical one. I used to call him the love of my life.



Then you bought cast iron skillet? Lol
Welcome back😊 I wish I had a cast iron skillet! It would've come handy...
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I bet divorce saved you from law suit and doing time! Lol
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Mr_Pinchy
@Mr_Pinchy
8 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1068 · Posts: 5048 · Topics: 2
Posted by Sapphire23
@Mr_Pinchy- I didn't pay too much attention to it in the beginning because he continuously apologized and I thought he would respect and love me enough to stop. Now we're only seven months into our marriage and it still hasn't stopped. He brought alot of baggage in the beginning from past relationships but I didn't know this would spill into our marriage like this.


I'm no expert but honestly, from where i'm sitting it doesn't sound like a good deal. You should have trained him prior to the marriage or at least made an ultimatum that it has to stop.

I know ultimatums are a double edged sword most of the time, but you gotta draw the line somewhere and stand up for yourself.
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Eleventh
@The_eleventh_sign_11
16 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 6313 · Topics: 313
Sapphire how old are you? What country do you come from? What era do you live in?

Because you sound like a mail order bride from an inbred country that hasn’t been discovered yet..

There is no woman I know in this day and age who is willing to put up with that bullshit let alone drop their standards and settle for a man like that.

Are you nuts? Honestly why would you write a post like this in here? Are you for real? Because the question isn’t “why does my husband say these things” the question is “why is he your husband in the first place”? Take some responsibility for your life, no one is coming to save you, definitely not that piece of shit. If you want to hear that for the rest of your love life, bon apetit biatch
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EvatheDiva53
@EvatheDiva52
7 Years500+ PostsPisces

Comments: 628 · Posts: 924 · Topics: 7
Posted by EvatheDiva52

Posted by Sapphire23

My husband has always had a habit of comparing me to other women ever since we've been together. It makes me curious because he only compares me only PURELY physically to these other women he's been with never on a mental level. He never has anything else to say about these women except for their breasts and everything on their body. He's compared our breasts, buttocks, private areas and body weight. I've told him EIGHT times that I don't like it when he compares me to these other women who I've never seen a day in my life and he keeps doing it! Everytime he brings up my body they come up it's inevitable. He seems to compare me favorably to them but I feel terrible and humiliated at the same time. He tells me my boobs are little and petite and that I am the smallest woman he's ever seen. It confuses me because I'm 5ft4 146 pounds and wear a 36D cup. I ask him why he says these things and he says, "Your breasts are little to me because my exes had breasts like watermelons while yours are shaped like a pear and the size of cantaloupes but I like yours better even though their small there's were too much." When we first started dating nine months ago he told me he wanted to get me pregnant so I'd pick up some weight. Everytime it seems like I'm gaining more weight his whole demeanor changes and he gives me these sweet compliments. Like for example, seven months ago he told me, "It looks like you've picked up some weight you look mo re beautiful and sexier than before." Fastforward to two days ago he says, "It looks like your getting thicker I love it I must be doing something right." I took offense to it and couldn't take it as a compliment because I remember him shaming my weight. But even though he's continuously given me indications that he's not satisfied with the way I look he tells me he thinks I'm beautiful and that everything is perfect on me. He says his exes were bigger and had itty bitty waists with gigantic butts and breasts. He ACTS and TALKS like he's not that into me. It seems like I'm not his ideal type he seems confused. But he claims that he loves me and that he doesn't have a type and that he thinks I'm fine the way I am. This seems to be a big pattern of behavior from him and he doesn't seem to care. He doesn't make much effort to make me feel better. When I bring up how all this stuff makes me feel he dismisses my feelings and says I'm overreacting and being dramatic. Another thing he does is he will shift blame onto other people for my unhappiness like my mom or dad who I only see once in a blue moon. I feel TERRIBLE and we've only been married almost seven months. I don't think my husband loves me or nowhere in love with me, I don't think he's that attracted to me or finds me beautiful and when he says everything I'm saying is not true I don't believe him. I think he just married me to be intimate with me I don't know why he married me. He won't stop and doesn't seem to recognise the damage he's causing.


Doll,

"What's good for the GOOSE is good for the GANDER". I'd tell him one night when he undresses in from of you, "Hon, you're SMALLER than my ex boyfriend." OR "My ex boyfriend was/was not circumcised. I wish you WERE" OR "Baby, why do I feel different when we do it doggie style ? I'd cum right away with my ex-boyfriend, but I don't seem to cum that fast when I'm with you" OR "Hon, when I give you head, I cannot feel your shaft, it was BIGGER from my ex-boyfriend's and he would cum within 10 minutes" OR "Hon, when I see your German helmet, it doesn't look like my ex-boyfriend's as HIS was redder than yours" OR "Hon, since you wear a size 10 shoes, my ex-boyfriend wore a size 14....and you know what THAT means" (I'd wink at him)......

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Fucking asshole!

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva
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