@Boots1313
8 Years1,000+ Posts
Opinion: can you work on yourself while in a relationship?
I'd argue with the right partner you can accelerate that growth rate.
I'd argue with the right partner you can accelerate that growth rate.
This.
The right partner will help you communicate your triggers and work with you to find solutions. They will also motivate you as well.
I'd argue with the right partner you can accelerate that growth rate.
Your boyfriend went through a growth period with you when you guys first got together right?
Also i agree with you. Depends on the person you are with
I say yes. If people all worked on themselves only outside of relationships, there would be no relationships. We are all flawed.
I know so many people who left good relationships to "work on themselves". I dont get that ideology, but to each their own. A lot of them now would rather be single tho...maybe a pride thing or a selfishness things. Want to do their things their way without consulting or considering another person
I'd argue with the right partner you can accelerate that growth rate.
This.
The right partner will help you communicate your triggers and work with you to find solutions. They will also motivate you as well.
click to expand
Absolutely agree
I say yes. If people all worked on themselves only outside of relationships, there would be no relationships. We are all flawed.
I know so many people who left good relationships to "work on themselves". I dont get that ideology, but to each their own. A lot of them now would rather be single tho...maybe a pride thing or a selfishness things. Want to do their things their way without consulting or considering another person
Maybe the relationship was done
No love there anymore
n instead are setting partner free n themselves to open up to love again instead of settling
Many reasons not just selfishness
Maybe that wan to lead an authentic life.
click to expand
I guess that kind of sounded catty...maybe wrong choice of words. However this particular person im thinking of is a little selfish tho...but obviously this isnt everyone.
I'd argue with the right partner you can accelerate that growth rate.
Your boyfriend went through a growth period with you when you guys first got together right?
Also i agree with you. Depends on the person you are with
click to expand
I did too.
We both have motivated each other in our careers.
When I met him he was unemployed (if you don't count the side hustle) and I was stuck at a dead end job.
We both encouraged each other to go after something better.
It also helps that he worked in sales (just switched over to project manager position) cause we both understood that when the call comes you gotta drop everything and go after the sale.
No hurt feels.
I've never been in a good relationship, they all seemed distracting
I think we're always working on ourselves. Learning about each other, adapting, compromising and trying to understand and meet each others needs. If you don't recognize the flaws within yourself and grow, then you'll find yourself in the same situation over and over again. Life is a learning process. No one is perfect and no one has it all figured out ever. There's always obstacles and challenges and we're always changing and evolving.
I say yes. If people all worked on themselves only outside of relationships, there would be no relationships. We are all flawed.
I know so many people who left good relationships to "work on themselves". I dont get that ideology, but to each their own. A lot of them now would rather be single tho...maybe a pride thing or a selfishness things. Want to do their things their way without consulting or considering another person
Youre way to codependent
Focusing solely on a relationship means losing yourself
click to expand
No one ever said focusing soley on a relationship.
Also i know im co dependent ...im working on it. I actually think ive made great strides.
I say yes. If people all worked on themselves only outside of relationships, there would be no relationships. We are all flawed.
I know so many people who left good relationships to "work on themselves". I dont get that ideology, but to each their own. A lot of them now would rather be single tho...maybe a pride thing or a selfishness things. Want to do their things their way without consulting or considering another person
Maybe the relationship was done
No love there anymore
n instead are setting partner free n themselves to open up to love again instead of settling
Many reasons not just selfishness
Maybe that wan to lead an authentic life.
I guess that kind of sounded catty...maybe wrong choice of words. However this particular person im thinking of is a little selfish tho...but obviously this isnt everyone.
There's nothing wrong with being selfish
click to expand
In certain aspects sure. But i thibk beibg in a healthy relationship comes alot of compromise and selflessness.
Might be why youre single...
I've never been in a good relationship, they all seemed distracting
Me neither
click to expand
You're young still...your mentality will change
I say yes. If people all worked on themselves only outside of relationships, there would be no relationships. We are all flawed.
I know so many people who left good relationships to "work on themselves". I dont get that ideology, but to each their own. A lot of them now would rather be single tho...maybe a pride thing or a selfishness things. Want to do their things their way without consulting or considering another person
Maybe the relationship was done
No love there anymore
n instead are setting partner free n themselves to open up to love again instead of settling
Many reasons not just selfishness
Maybe that wan to lead an authentic life.
I guess that kind of sounded catty...maybe wrong choice of words. However this particular person im thinking of is a little selfish tho...but obviously this isnt everyone.
There's nothing wrong with being selfish
In certain aspects sure. But i thibk beibg in a healthy relationship comes alot of compromise and selflessness.
Might be why youre single...
No that's not the reason, but when i read you i feel like it's the 1950
Complete turnoff
click to expand
I like traditional.
Different strokes for different folks.
I've never been in a good relationship, they all seemed distracting
Me neither
You're young still...your mentality will change
No it won't. I've never been in a relationship where i didn't lose myself
I Dont like it. I abhor it
A good relationship to me is where i grow
I was too busy making someone else happy instead of myself
click to expand
Again to each their own.
Maybe you arent meant for a relationship. Thats fine too.
I say yes. If people all worked on themselves only outside of relationships, there would be no relationships. We are all flawed.
I know so many people who left good relationships to "work on themselves". I dont get that ideology, but to each their own. A lot of them now would rather be single tho...maybe a pride thing or a selfishness things. Want to do their things their way without consulting or considering another person
Maybe the relationship was done
No love there anymore
n instead are setting partner free n themselves to open up to love again instead of settling
Many reasons not just selfishness
Maybe that wan to lead an authentic life.
I guess that kind of sounded catty...maybe wrong choice of words. However this particular person im thinking of is a little selfish tho...but obviously this isnt everyone.
There's nothing wrong with being selfish
In certain aspects sure. But i thibk beibg in a healthy relationship comes alot of compromise and selflessness.
Might be why youre single...
Life has a way to teaching you things
Being selfish has nothing to do with being single
Know tons of selfish peeps married or in relationships
click to expand
And how are their relationships?
The guy has to be really worth it i guess. I think knowing I'm secure in a relationship woild help me not be so focused on the relationship
Security is very important.
Of course that should be a factor.
Its hard to find security these days.
I've come to relaize i focus more on myself when im secure with my partner.
I've never been in a good relationship, they all seemed distracting
Me neither
You're young still...your mentality will change
No it won't. I've never been in a relationship where i didn't lose myself
I Dont like it. I abhor it
A good relationship to me is where i grow
I was too busy making someone else happy instead of myself
Again to each their own.
Maybe you arent meant for a relationship. Thats fine too.
Why cause i don't want to cling for dear life
because i have dreams
I love experiences
That means i don't deserve a relationship??
😑
click to expand
Of course, but it might be harder to find. You cant be completely deatched. I think in order to "love" there has to be some factor of giving and compromise and sometimes putting your partner first.
Of course dont lose yourself, and of course youre s.o should support your independence and self worth. But there will be trying times when you have to help them out more, and maybe bite your tongue.
I say yes. If people all worked on themselves only outside of relationships, there would be no relationships. We are all flawed.
I know so many people who left good relationships to "work on themselves". I dont get that ideology, but to each their own. A lot of them now would rather be single tho...maybe a pride thing or a selfishness things. Want to do their things their way without consulting or considering another person
Maybe the relationship was done
No love there anymore
n instead are setting partner free n themselves to open up to love again instead of settling
Many reasons not just selfishness
Maybe that wan to lead an authentic life.
I guess that kind of sounded catty...maybe wrong choice of words. However this particular person im thinking of is a little selfish tho...but obviously this isnt everyone.
There's nothing wrong with being selfish
In certain aspects sure. But i thibk beibg in a healthy relationship comes alot of compromise and selflessness.
Might be why youre single...
Life has a way to teaching you things
Being selfish has nothing to do with being single
Know tons of selfish peeps married or in relationships
And how are their relationships?
Not bad they have them by their balls
Works for them I guess lol
click to expand
Lol, well sounds like someone isnt happy in the relationship.
The guy has to be really worth it i guess. I think knowing I'm secure in a relationship woild help me not be so focused on the relationship
Security is very important.
Of course that should be a factor.
Its hard to find security these days.
I've come to relaize i focus more on myself when im secure with my partner.
I think that's the missing ingredient for me
4 sure
click to expand
Again your young, unfortunately men are alreasy stunted, emotionally and being young doesnt help.
As you get older you will find more trustworthy, stable men.
Its good to have a strong vetting process.
The guy has to be really worth it i guess. I think knowing I'm secure in a relationship woild help me not be so focused on the relationship
Security is very important.
Of course that should be a factor.
Its hard to find security these days.
I've come to relaize i focus more on myself when im secure with my partner.
I think that's the missing ingredient for me
4 sure
Again your young, unfortunately men are alreasy stunted, emotionally and being young doesnt help.
As you get older you will find more trustworthy, stable men.
Its good to have a strong vetting process.
Im old not young and ppl don't change
click to expand
Arent you like 25? People don't change, but they grow...
The guy has to be really worth it i guess. I think knowing I'm secure in a relationship woild help me not be so focused on the relationship
Security is very important.
Of course that should be a factor.
Its hard to find security these days.
I've come to relaize i focus more on myself when im secure with my partner.
click to expand
It’s hard to find cause its not instantaneous, takes time, and people excel at letting you down 😩😩
The guy has to be really worth it i guess. I think knowing I'm secure in a relationship woild help me not be so focused on the relationship
Security is very important.
Of course that should be a factor.
Its hard to find security these days.
I've come to relaize i focus more on myself when im secure with my partner.
It’s hard to find cause its not instantaneous, takes time, and people excel at letting you down 😩😩
click to expand
Agreed...im not one of those people whom blindy go into a relationship trusting. That has to be earned...you work your way up to 100% .
Some people start at 100 and subtract. Not me.
I think there's a sweet spot around 1 year into any relationship where both people have a chance to find out if they can work on themselves while committing to each other.
But I violently disagree that compromise or selflessness are part of good relationships. Those elements are commonly found in unfulfilling relationships.
Explain to my your reasoning for the last statement
Did this help you understand your situation?
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