GemCurioThe1
@GemCurioThe1
5 Years
Comments: 10 · Posts: 408 · Topics: 49
When Every Choice Hurts...
Years ago I had been with the same woman since high school. We went to college together and had success together. The dream adults sell children that haven't been exposed to the world. After 15 years, she began to start dating men secretly, and I had caught her multiple times lying and getting picked up. We didn't have children together but marriage was sacred to me and I didn't want to divorce ever because my parents were divorced and I saw what it did to my home as a child.
I began to sleep in a separate room. One day she told me that she wanted me out. She poured bleach on my clothing and had hit me across my head and shoulders with a chair. I didn't know what to do in that moment. I heard a gentle whisper in my ear to just leave. I also heard a voice in my ear screaming to defend myself.
I listened to the whisper. I packed one suitcase and walked away leaving the house, the car, my job, and my broken marriage. I endured a mens shelter for a time and had moved several towns over to just have some time to figure out what I would do. I was in a place I never thought I would be, and the hurt was unbearable. Being completely surrounded by strangers, unemployed, and having nothing but my important paperwork and a couple changes of clothing. After several months she stalked me out finding where I was residing. She cried and begged me to come back to her. I said that I had no desire to. She said she wasn't going to leave until I at least promised her that I would come back within the next 2 months. I gave her a date within 30 days.
I showed up and returned to the separate room I was in before I had left. In the next room over she was speaking in a language I didn't know to her lover. It took that moment to occur in my life for me to leave permanently and file for divorce. She later told me she had lost her job and had to go to therapy after that, but in my mind she had chosen her path even while she was begging me to return.
There are times in our lives where we have no control over anything. However, one thing we always have control over is ourselves and how we react to it. In my humble opinion, no matter what someone else feels or says to you, never settle for what is unacceptable to your heart. The world makes great efforts to destroy the very fabrics of love, in purity and truth. And for that reason we must take care in who we give ourselves to and protect the values found in how we love. For if the world seeks with so much effort to destroy it, it must be worthy of the whole world and everything in it. This is one of my many experiences and lessons in this life. Hopefully this will help someone somewhere who finds themselves having to make choices that hurt.
I began to sleep in a separate room. One day she told me that she wanted me out. She poured bleach on my clothing and had hit me across my head and shoulders with a chair. I didn't know what to do in that moment. I heard a gentle whisper in my ear to just leave. I also heard a voice in my ear screaming to defend myself.
I listened to the whisper. I packed one suitcase and walked away leaving the house, the car, my job, and my broken marriage. I endured a mens shelter for a time and had moved several towns over to just have some time to figure out what I would do. I was in a place I never thought I would be, and the hurt was unbearable. Being completely surrounded by strangers, unemployed, and having nothing but my important paperwork and a couple changes of clothing. After several months she stalked me out finding where I was residing. She cried and begged me to come back to her. I said that I had no desire to. She said she wasn't going to leave until I at least promised her that I would come back within the next 2 months. I gave her a date within 30 days.
I showed up and returned to the separate room I was in before I had left. In the next room over she was speaking in a language I didn't know to her lover. It took that moment to occur in my life for me to leave permanently and file for divorce. She later told me she had lost her job and had to go to therapy after that, but in my mind she had chosen her path even while she was begging me to return.
There are times in our lives where we have no control over anything. However, one thing we always have control over is ourselves and how we react to it. In my humble opinion, no matter what someone else feels or says to you, never settle for what is unacceptable to your heart. The world makes great efforts to destroy the very fabrics of love, in purity and truth. And for that reason we must take care in who we give ourselves to and protect the values found in how we love. For if the world seeks with so much effort to destroy it, it must be worthy of the whole world and everything in it. This is one of my many experiences and lessons in this life. Hopefully this will help someone somewhere who finds themselves having to make choices that hurt.
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