Wild-of-you-to-say
@Wild-of-you-to-say
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Why do quiet people bother others? (Page 2)
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Posted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Bluemoon86Posted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.
At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.
So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.
You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.
And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand
You dont think its their behavior that causes problems. I believe what your doing is gas lightingclick to expand
Nope. I think you’re unwilling to listen to another perspective. Since you already have the answers, why did you make this thread if you didn’t want a stranger’s opinion on the internet—
I can take this opinion to other places, its not valid here.click to expand
Don't argue with her. I already see where this is heading. Straight down the gutter.
Pisces energy i think wins at self-entertainment and silence, but people hunt them down endlessly for attention
My old coworker was a Scorpio stellium with Capricorn moon/Libra mars and he almost never started conversations and never said much in response, but he was easily bored and loved to observe others in the workplace and pass judgment. So I dont think he was able to self-entertain. Cap energy is clucking hen energy plus that mars loves goss
Aquas want to be alone for long stretches to ponder but they're also so into their best childhood friends. Not hermits
I think it takes Cancer energy to be a true lone Claude Frollo
My old coworker was a Scorpio stellium with Capricorn moon/Libra mars and he almost never started conversations and never said much in response, but he was easily bored and loved to observe others in the workplace and pass judgment. So I dont think he was able to self-entertain. Cap energy is clucking hen energy plus that mars loves goss
Aquas want to be alone for long stretches to ponder but they're also so into their best childhood friends. Not hermits
I think it takes Cancer energy to be a true lone Claude Frollo
Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
I’m both very quiet/barely speak and other times, I can be very outgoing/social. Depends on my mood. I have not ever taken notice to people being bothered 😕 by me when I am quiet. I do get told, “You got to watch out for the quiet ones!”
Posted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by victoria-sakuraPosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by victoria-sakura
I've had a client totally pissed off and escalated to manager because I talked too little. I never fully understood but have been advised that it can be due to my body language.
Silence can be seen as as sign of rejection too...
I am an over thinker but I think assuming things about people with out knowing them is not something adults should be doing. Makes sense tho. click to expand
Most, if not everyone, assumes something about other people. It's usually tend to be the effect of missing pieces of information not given, so people come to some kind of conclusions to fill in the gaps.click to expand
Some things can be assumed. But if you are not given anything to work with, its safe to not assumeclick to expand
You're never not given anything to work with, unless you have never seen, nor interacted with that person in any shape or form. Context matters. Body language matters. Facial expression matters. You're always telling something even if you aren't always talking.
Plus assumptions are often based on something: an observation, a remark, a reaction, etc. It's rarely made out of thin air.
Posted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by WizardzzzPosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
It's clear from your post that you are judgemental in your silence. That's whyclick to expand
Im an observer. I have no opinions about people's behavior just observations. If being seen and being observed bothers you then you should probably stay homeclick to expand
How do you get to decide what bothers someone and what shouldn't? People can tell you're a judgemental and petty person who thinks they are superior because of their detachment from the attempts of others to create some social human contact 😆
Posted by WizardzzzPosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by WizardzzzPosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
It's clear from your post that you are judgemental in your silence. That's whyclick to expand
Im an observer. I have no opinions about people's behavior just observations. If being seen and being observed bothers you then you should probably stay homeclick to expand
How do you get to decide what bothers someone and what shouldn't? People can tell you're a judgemental and petty person who thinks they are superior because of their detachment from the attempts of others to create some social human contact 😆click to expand
nah forget astrology for a sec but yall are doing the same thing rn about passing judgement, very hypocritical. also its easy to say unless u been in this type of situation
Posted by WhynnPosted by Raminheartz
I keep to myself at work. Initially people found it off putting, but I kept at it and now it seems normal. I think people have expectations of what is acceptable social behavior and when you don’t behave as expected, it throws them off. My solution was to retrain their expectations of me.
Now the only issue I have at work is with this Aquarian guy. He’s suffering from God complex or something. We get it you’re special. Since I’ve moved up in the workplace, I can feel the resentment. Some air signs can be so competitive over stupid shit.
Sorry to barge in at your post but lol at Aquas and God complex syndrome. I experienced it too, there was 2 Aquas I dealt with and they were very competitive in the end. At first it wasn't seen but then suddenly boom they were all competitive coming like a black hoarse and my libra mars was like wtf Ima show'em how I fought. I lost though due to my inability to be socially likeable in that workplace. But like probably it's because of my Aqua Jupiter so I may acted like Ms Know-it-all haha my bad on that part like they tried to be flawless but my sag rising and uranus in 1st just had to mess it up lol so in the end I lost the competition and got laid off, sigh
Having an Aries boss who took everything personally and Libra big boss who could see all sides they had to put me to rest.
Idk why I am still ruminating over the bad stuff going on from my last workplace, maybe in my mind, I wish I could play the game much better. That kind of thing.. or I wish I could be smarter, but I was too relaxed.. thinking positively that no one was there to get me or trick me..
But perhaps at the end of the day, they sensed off-putting about me that I didn't get enough sympathy to stay there. Perhaps my "appearance" was not attractive enough.. I mean, I swear...at workplace your likability holds much more weight than your actual work. Or at least, that's what I think.. correct me if I am wrong.click to expand
Appearance matters. My last job, they promoted some attractive people in their twenties. However there was a case where work matters more. A major issue occurred and the customer was swearing at the upper management. My unlikeable coworker was thrown under the bus by management for the issue. I avoided being involved because if something went wrong I had no doubt they blame me and throw me under as well, so they assigned their young attractive manager to deal with the issue.
Unfortunately for them, the issue occurred again and the customer was seething. Apparently good looks and presentation doesn’t solve knowledge based problems. Who knew?
I walked past the upper manager in the hallway. He looked like a beaten man and he attempted to say hi when previous times he didn’t acknowledge me and rather devote his time fishing off the company pier for young attractive fish. I saw this desperate attempt at a hi as please rescue me and fix this. I didn’t get involved. The executives laid him off several months later. Likability never goes out of style , but there are these few moments when the stars align where it is not enough.
Posted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Polyannanana
I even have to explain this to my own mom and sister 😂😂 and they know me best. Even to my bf who knows me even better. You are probably a highly sensitive person and an introvert. Unfortunately, although it's hard for us, we have to do a lot of explaining to other people. Why we don't talk so much etc
Adapting to your environment a little bit can be to your advantage though. Once people warm up to you, you can explain yourself to them. Tell them that you an introvert, that talking too much and social environments drain your energy, that you are a highly sensitive person , and other people sometimes think you are snobbish because of that. So they will understand that you don't have that much hyper energy for social situations , it's just your nature.
So much yes. You hit the nail on the head. I am really good at explaining these things to people that are welcoming to me but if they are not patient and give me that time to open up and they get irritated with me and do something aggravated towards me I can no longer invest my energy in them. I know you understand what I meanclick to expand
Totally. It's hard to deal with some people. It can feel almost like fiction like in emily in paris or legally blonde, how they were bullied until they didn't give up and finally anchored themselves in the work place ☺️ It doesn't matter at the end of the day though.
But I feel like you should confront someone at work if they compare themselves to you in front of the customers or colleagues and tries to do reputation damage. Just tell them in the moment what they did is not professional. You don't have to fight but definitely assert yourself in those situations, even if it's not in the moment, you can do it one on one later too.
Posted by RaminheartzPosted by WhynnPosted by Raminheartz
I keep to myself at work. Initially people found it off putting, but I kept at it and now it seems normal. I think people have expectations of what is acceptable social behavior and when you don’t behave as expected, it throws them off. My solution was to retrain their expectations of me.
Now the only issue I have at work is with this Aquarian guy. He’s suffering from God complex or something. We get it you’re special. Since I’ve moved up in the workplace, I can feel the resentment. Some air signs can be so competitive over stupid shit.
Sorry to barge in at your post but lol at Aquas and God complex syndrome. I experienced it too, there was 2 Aquas I dealt with and they were very competitive in the end. At first it wasn't seen but then suddenly boom they were all competitive coming like a black hoarse and my libra mars was like wtf Ima show'em how I fought. I lost though due to my inability to be socially likeable in that workplace. But like probably it's because of my Aqua Jupiter so I may acted like Ms Know-it-all haha my bad on that part like they tried to be flawless but my sag rising and uranus in 1st just had to mess it up lol so in the end I lost the competition and got laid off, sigh
Having an Aries boss who took everything personally and Libra big boss who could see all sides they had to put me to rest.
Idk why I am still ruminating over the bad stuff going on from my last workplace, maybe in my mind, I wish I could play the game much better. That kind of thing.. or I wish I could be smarter, but I was too relaxed.. thinking positively that no one was there to get me or trick me..
But perhaps at the end of the day, they sensed off-putting about me that I didn't get enough sympathy to stay there. Perhaps my "appearance" was not attractive enough.. I mean, I swear...at workplace your likability holds much more weight than your actual work. Or at least, that's what I think.. correct me if I am wrong.click to expand
Appearance matters. My last job, they promoted some attractive people in their twenties. However there was a case where work matters more. A major issue occurred and the customer was swearing at the upper management. My unlikeable coworker was thrown under the bus by management for the issue. I avoided being involved because if something went wrong I had no doubt they blame me and throw me under as well, so they assigned their young attractive manager to deal with the issue.
Unfortunately for them, the issue occurred again and the customer was seething. Apparently good looks and presentation doesn’t solve knowledge based problems. Who knew?
I walked past the upper manager in the hallway. He looked like a beaten man and he attempted to say hi when previous times he didn’t acknowledge me and rather devote his time fishing off the company pier for young attractive fish. I saw this desperate attempt at a hi as please rescue me and fix this. I didn’t get involved. The executives laid him off several months later. Likability never goes out of style , but there are these few moments when the stars align where it is not enough.click to expand
Worked at so many places like that, really brings the company down. I usually don't see myself in those places too long cause I'm unable to kiss ass (only in the figurative sense)
I don’t understand why quiet ppl bother others either.. I’ve always been a quiet person since I was a child. My mom would always insist I needed to talk more or put myself out there because I never would include myself in things unless I was included by others. I was extremely shy. In high school I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “why are you so quiet?” by people. I’ve tried to be more outgoing and being more proactive in making friends, but it only goes so far.
I remember during chemistry class in high school I had a classmate I would talk to and thought we were friends. But whenever we had to group up with ppl she’d never include me in her group… I was like what did I do wrong? Am I boring or something? Maybe I am 😂 but now that I’m older I don’t care anymore to try to be outgoing, I rather have one genuine friend than many and that’s how it’s always been in my life, just one good friend and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
Just recently I started working at a Juice Bar but quit after 3 weeks. The manager liked to be “friends” with the employees and gossip, and I guess I was too quiet or hard to talk to because she seemed to play favorites for the other employees. She probably wanted me to talk more but I’m sorry I’m just there to make extra money not chisme 🤷🏻♀️
I remember during chemistry class in high school I had a classmate I would talk to and thought we were friends. But whenever we had to group up with ppl she’d never include me in her group… I was like what did I do wrong? Am I boring or something? Maybe I am 😂 but now that I’m older I don’t care anymore to try to be outgoing, I rather have one genuine friend than many and that’s how it’s always been in my life, just one good friend and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
Just recently I started working at a Juice Bar but quit after 3 weeks. The manager liked to be “friends” with the employees and gossip, and I guess I was too quiet or hard to talk to because she seemed to play favorites for the other employees. She probably wanted me to talk more but I’m sorry I’m just there to make extra money not chisme 🤷🏻♀️
Posted by RaminheartzPosted by WhynnPosted by Raminheartz
I keep to myself at work. Initially people found it off putting, but I kept at it and now it seems normal. I think people have expectations of what is acceptable social behavior and when you don’t behave as expected, it throws them off. My solution was to retrain their expectations of me.
Now the only issue I have at work is with this Aquarian guy. He’s suffering from God complex or something. We get it you’re special. Since I’ve moved up in the workplace, I can feel the resentment. Some air signs can be so competitive over stupid shit.
Sorry to barge in at your post but lol at Aquas and God complex syndrome. I experienced it too, there was 2 Aquas I dealt with and they were very competitive in the end. At first it wasn't seen but then suddenly boom they were all competitive coming like a black hoarse and my libra mars was like wtf Ima show'em how I fought. I lost though due to my inability to be socially likeable in that workplace. But like probably it's because of my Aqua Jupiter so I may acted like Ms Know-it-all haha my bad on that part like they tried to be flawless but my sag rising and uranus in 1st just had to mess it up lol so in the end I lost the competition and got laid off, sigh
Having an Aries boss who took everything personally and Libra big boss who could see all sides they had to put me to rest.
Idk why I am still ruminating over the bad stuff going on from my last workplace, maybe in my mind, I wish I could play the game much better. That kind of thing.. or I wish I could be smarter, but I was too relaxed.. thinking positively that no one was there to get me or trick me..
But perhaps at the end of the day, they sensed off-putting about me that I didn't get enough sympathy to stay there. Perhaps my "appearance" was not attractive enough.. I mean, I swear...at workplace your likability holds much more weight than your actual work. Or at least, that's what I think.. correct me if I am wrong.click to expand
Appearance matters. My last job, they promoted some attractive people in their twenties. However there was a case where work matters more. A major issue occurred and the customer was swearing at the upper management. My unlikeable coworker was thrown under the bus by management for the issue. I avoided being involved because if something went wrong I had no doubt they blame me and throw me under as well, so they assigned their young attractive manager to deal with the issue.
Unfortunately for them, the issue occurred again and the customer was seething. Apparently good looks and presentation doesn’t solve knowledge based problems. Who knew?
I walked past the upper manager in the hallway. He looked like a beaten man and he attempted to say hi when previous times he didn’t acknowledge me and rather devote his time fishing off the company pier for young attractive fish. I saw this desperate attempt at a hi as please rescue me and fix this. I didn’t get involved. The executives laid him off several months later. Likability never goes out of style , but there are these few moments when the stars align where it is not enough.click to expand
Yes, at the end of the day our work is what matters but really appearance and likability can help a lot.
Including likability with your coworkers.. it is to smooth the collab.
Technical work is the one mostly does not require likability, right?
Posted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.
At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.
So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.
You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.
And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand
You dont think its their behavior that causes problems. I believe what your doing is gas lightingclick to expand
Gas lighting? That is a strong reaction to my solution. No, I wasn’t gas lighting… I was just asking you to look into yourself. As we should ALL do in this world, especially when we seem to be having repeated bad experiences.
No one is perfect. Is it really out of the question to improve on some of your habits that might not be working for you?
What’s wrong with finding out if you might be giving off signals to others that are giving you a bad experience OFTEN?
Your response scares me…lol. Just seems very exaggerated and almost made up. Relax, not everyone with a different opinion or option is out to get you or trick you. I was honestly just trying to figure out a solution.
Don’t make it so personal.click to expand
I think it’s because a lot of ppl don’t understand quiet people and assume because they are quiet they think they are “good” even without doing anything to act like that. I’ve had my mom tell me too that if I’m too quiet ppl will think that I think I’m stuck up. Even just by existing
Telling op it’s her that’s causing those negative reactions from ppl feels to her like your invalidating her experience and kind of hurtful to her even though you meant well.
I don’t believe op ever did anything to be treated that way, and even if she did that doesn’t give them a right to act that way towards her.
Let's be real here. It does seem like we quiet people receive the most attention of them all even when not trying to be an attention grabber. I call it unwanted attention. Those on this thread who claim to be quiet (which I'm sure we all know who but I ain't calling no name) and extroverts wouldn't understand the struggles we go through. Only the true quiet ones would understand and not the fake ones.
I have always been quiet as well and also got bullied growing up because of it. I have been called a mute and stuck up. I was also constantly asked “why are you so quiet?” Or “why don’t you talk?” I always felt out of place and like I didn’t fit in because of my silence. I’ll never forget being in the grocery store as a child with my mom one day and we ran into one of my father’s co-workers and he asked me how I was doing? I responded, but I guess he didn’t hear me and I suppose my mother didn’t either because when we got home my mother told my father what had happened and they got so angry at me and told me what an embarrassment I was to them not speaking to my elders when spoken to. And how I need to get out of my shyness and act like other children my age as to not draw negative attention to myself or my parents. I always remained an introvert though. Even if that meant I was stuck up or weird or an embarrassment…..it’s who I was….who I am. 🤷♀️
Posted by BlackPearl
I don’t understand why quiet ppl bother others either.. I’ve always been a quiet person since I was a child. My mom would always insist I needed to talk more or put myself out there because I never would include myself in things unless I was included by others. I was extremely shy. In high school I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “why are you so quiet?” by people. I’ve tried to be more outgoing and being more proactive in making friends, but it only goes so far.
I remember during chemistry class in high school I had a classmate I would talk to and thought we were friends. But whenever we had to group up with ppl she’d never include me in her group… I was like what did I do wrong? Am I boring or something? Maybe I am 😂 but now that I’m older I don’t care anymore to try to be outgoing, I rather have one genuine friend than many and that’s how it’s always been in my life, just one good friend and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
Just recently I started working at a Juice Bar but quit after 3 weeks. The manager liked to be “friends” with the employees and gossip, and I guess I was too quiet or hard to talk to because she seemed to play favorites for the other employees. She probably wanted me to talk more but I’m sorry I’m just there to make extra money not chisme 🤷🏻♀️
People love Chisme. I'll admit I became way more social when I got older (around 27/Saturn return) before that I was mostly quiet even as a performing musician. On one trip to San Francisco, my band mates said "it was like you weren't even I nthe van with us"
I still enjoy being remembered as the quiet weirdo cause I can be socially fake as I want to now.
Posted by BlackPearlPosted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.
At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.
So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.
You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.
And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand
You dont think its their behavior that causes problems. I believe what your doing is gas lightingclick to expand
Gas lighting? That is a strong reaction to my solution. No, I wasn’t gas lighting… I was just asking you to look into yourself. As we should ALL do in this world, especially when we seem to be having repeated bad experiences.
No one is perfect. Is it really out of the question to improve on some of your habits that might not be working for you?
What’s wrong with finding out if you might be giving off signals to others that are giving you a bad experience OFTEN?
Your response scares me…lol. Just seems very exaggerated and almost made up. Relax, not everyone with a different opinion or option is out to get you or trick you. I was honestly just trying to figure out a solution.
Don’t make it so personal.click to expand
I think it’s because a lot of ppl don’t understand quiet people and assume because they are quiet they think they are “good” even without doing anything to act like that. I’ve had my mom tell me too that if I’m too quiet ppl will think that I think I’m stuck up. Even just by existing
Telling op it’s her that’s causing those negative reactions from ppl feels to her like your invalidating her experience and kind of hurtful to her even though you meant well.
I don’t believe op ever did anything to be treated that way, and even if she did that doesn’t give them a right to act that way towards her.click to expand
This is assuming all quiet people are the same. It’s like assuming all Aries or all Scorpios are the same. They’re not all the same. I think I read something in another thread that since I am a Republican, I fit this guy’s narrative/assumption/delusion of not supporting education or something to that effect.
Bottom-line: not everyone is the same and quiet people are assuming the victim role in this thread.
What MareinFrame said was honest. After reading the OP, I felt the same vibes. Not everyone can handle honesty though. 🤷🏻♀️
Just to be clear, I don’t have anything against quiet people — I’m answering the questions you asked: Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Reading through your replies, I see someone who’s been through a lot and learned to survive by flattening your energy so you feel "safe” — for yourself and for others. That makes sense with customers yelling, money thrown at you, and having to stay calm just to get through a shift.
But from the outside, it doesn’t land as neutral the way you think it does. When you say there’s "evil in humans that can’t stand a Godly peace,” that you’re "10000% monotone,” that you "just observe and collect paychecks,” and when you describe growing up with "if they are mad, then Im doing something right" — that isn’t just observing. Whatever your intent, those statements read like a moral verdict about them and a narrative about yourself.
Your boyfriend’s silence feels calm and safe to you. A lot of your coworkers clearly aren’t feeling your silence that way — they’re reacting to it like it’s cold, judging, or closed. That doesn’t mean you’re a villain, but it does mean your energy isn’t invisible. People don’t only react to what you say; they react to how seen, accepted, or dismissed they feel around you.
Of course, some people lash out because of their own issues, regardless of how anyone shows up — but when the same reactions keep happening across different people and situations, it’s worth looking at what’s being communicated without meaning to.
One last thing: you’re not the only one observing — people are observing you, too. From what you’ve written, it sounds like you see yourself as the only camera, not realizing you’re also on film.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Reading through your replies, I see someone who’s been through a lot and learned to survive by flattening your energy so you feel "safe” — for yourself and for others. That makes sense with customers yelling, money thrown at you, and having to stay calm just to get through a shift.
But from the outside, it doesn’t land as neutral the way you think it does. When you say there’s "evil in humans that can’t stand a Godly peace,” that you’re "10000% monotone,” that you "just observe and collect paychecks,” and when you describe growing up with "if they are mad, then Im doing something right" — that isn’t just observing. Whatever your intent, those statements read like a moral verdict about them and a narrative about yourself.
Your boyfriend’s silence feels calm and safe to you. A lot of your coworkers clearly aren’t feeling your silence that way — they’re reacting to it like it’s cold, judging, or closed. That doesn’t mean you’re a villain, but it does mean your energy isn’t invisible. People don’t only react to what you say; they react to how seen, accepted, or dismissed they feel around you.
Of course, some people lash out because of their own issues, regardless of how anyone shows up — but when the same reactions keep happening across different people and situations, it’s worth looking at what’s being communicated without meaning to.
One last thing: you’re not the only one observing — people are observing you, too. From what you’ve written, it sounds like you see yourself as the only camera, not realizing you’re also on film.
Its so hard to confront someone in the moment when you need to at work. Usually ive only been able to when the person wasnt an enemy and I felt empowered to do so. Or when I had serious road rash and got occurrences for my call-ins even with a drs note because I had never called in before and didn't know the protocol. More often a power holder will gaslight you into accepting abuse until so much time has passed that you look ridiculous going to HR or complaining about it so late. People are smarter than that. Worse when its groping or something and you know if you complain the possibility for destructive retaliation is high
I dont think Ive ever been disliked for being quiet. The main complaint is that im weird. Being quiet has led people to believe Im not a native english speaker or that im deaf though. Being quiet seems to be a reasonable way to go through life if you can stick to it and show no emotion. People only get offended if they think youre ignoring them
In some cases ill never understand how im that offensively weird since Im not touchy and respect personal space. Like here im openly weird but coworkers figure out they dont like me after very little speaking w me
I dont think Ive ever been disliked for being quiet. The main complaint is that im weird. Being quiet has led people to believe Im not a native english speaker or that im deaf though. Being quiet seems to be a reasonable way to go through life if you can stick to it and show no emotion. People only get offended if they think youre ignoring them
In some cases ill never understand how im that offensively weird since Im not touchy and respect personal space. Like here im openly weird but coworkers figure out they dont like me after very little speaking w me
New topic idea
Why do bothered people quiet others?
Why do bothered people quiet others?
Posted by lokiloverPosted by WizardzzzPosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by WizardzzzPosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
It's clear from your post that you are judgemental in your silence. That's whyclick to expand
Im an observer. I have no opinions about people's behavior just observations. If being seen and being observed bothers you then you should probably stay homeclick to expand
How do you get to decide what bothers someone and what shouldn't? People can tell you're a judgemental and petty person who thinks they are superior because of their detachment from the attempts of others to create some social human contact 😆click to expand
nah forget astrology for a sec but yall are doing the same thing rn about passing judgement, very hypocritical. also its easy to say unless u been in this type of situationclick to expand
Yeh so that explains what is happening at work. They sense the energy and respond in kind
Posted by BlackPearlPosted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.
At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.
So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.
You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.
And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand
You dont think its their behavior that causes problems. I believe what your doing is gas lightingclick to expand
Gas lighting? That is a strong reaction to my solution. No, I wasn’t gas lighting… I was just asking you to look into yourself. As we should ALL do in this world, especially when we seem to be having repeated bad experiences.
No one is perfect. Is it really out of the question to improve on some of your habits that might not be working for you?
What’s wrong with finding out if you might be giving off signals to others that are giving you a bad experience OFTEN?
Your response scares me…lol. Just seems very exaggerated and almost made up. Relax, not everyone with a different opinion or option is out to get you or trick you. I was honestly just trying to figure out a solution.
Don’t make it so personal.click to expand
I think it’s because a lot of ppl don’t understand quiet people and assume because they are quiet they think they are “good” even without doing anything to act like that. I’ve had my mom tell me too that if I’m too quiet ppl will think that I think I’m stuck up. Even just by existing
Telling op it’s her that’s causing those negative reactions from ppl feels to her like your invalidating her experience and kind of hurtful to her even though you meant well.
I don’t believe op ever did anything to be treated that way, and even if she did that doesn’t give them a right to act that way towards her.click to expand
Imagine this:
You're sitting inside a bubble. You're not bothering anyone and minding your own business. You feel safe and at peace inside of this space.
To other people who's watching you, what they see is an individual sitting in isolation. Some might wonder if you're new and haven't made any friends yet. Some might think you're too good to hang out with anyone else. Some might wonder if they said something upsetting that made you choose to sit by yourself. Some might see this as being unapproachable. Some might straight up get hurt that you elected to sit by yourself instead of sitting with them. Some might see this as you not liking to hanging out with anyone, and then end up not including you because they believe you won't like it. The manager might see this you choosing to work alone and wonder if you fit the team....
This is what I mean: quiet isn’t the issue — it’s what the quiet communicates. Even in a three-second pass-by, a tiny human cue can change how silence is interpreted. On our walking/running trail, most people and I simultaneously exchange a quick smile and a "hi” as we pass each other. There’s one guy who used to keep his eyes down and not acknowledge anyone, and I understood that as a matter of privacy, so I respected it. One day, he was blasting a song I love, looked at me as we approached, and I said, "Great taste, I love that song!” He smiled.
Since then, we still don’t chat — but we do the small human thing: he now always waves and smiles at me, and I do the same. Mutual acknowledgment. Same quiet, different signal.
Since then, we still don’t chat — but we do the small human thing: he now always waves and smiles at me, and I do the same. Mutual acknowledgment. Same quiet, different signal.
Posted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by Mare-E-SolePosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.
At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.
So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.
You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.
And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand
You dont think its their behavior that causes problems. I believe what your doing is gas lighting
Gas lighting? That is a strong reaction to my solution. No, I wasn’t gas lighting… I was just asking you to look into yourself. As we should ALL do in this world, especially when we seem to be having repeated bad experiences.
No one is perfect. Is it really out of the question to improve on some of your habits that might not be working for you?
What’s wrong with finding out if you might be giving off signals to others that are giving you a bad experience OFTEN?
Your response scares me…lol. Just seems very exaggerated and almost made up. Relax, not everyone with a different opinion or option is out to get you or trick you. I was honestly just trying to figure out a solution.
Don’t make it so personal.click to expand
He literally just gave the reasons. He said she withheld important information in work and gloated to coworkers that she was better and he distanced himself from her socially because of it, which pissed her off. How much more self-reflection do you need?
Not all social people are this way, everyone knows that. He was asking whether something bothers social people about quiet people, not the other way around. Clearly he gave her a chance, she messed up and she's the one who hasn't self-reflected. He's self-reflecting now, that's what this posting is about.
If she reflected on her own behaviour she'd know why he was acting off or perhaps if she can persevere, have some patience and take a little time and effort to get to know him better without being a snide, this might help, instead of getting pissed off like a child.
Posted by FuelAirPropellant
New topic idea
Why do bothered people quiet others?
Its a crude manipulation technique to manipulate others into not asserting their needs, and it works too often when there is physical proximity between people. I learned in 2021 that some men intentionally use their anger to intimidate others and impose fear (obv i always knew people use physical tactics, but 2 aries luminary men admitted it verbally that year). Very murican thing with our big ol military culture and everything.
My Pisces ex Josh who i always talk about was one who once bragged to me that people are afraid of his anger. He used to work w my dad until recently. Apparently he was hollering at management "Youd better give me a raise or im gonna quit!" So they said "bet" and escorted him off premises.
What's scarier is when someone you love expresses disproportionate anger over everyday inconveniences. Bc then it feels like they're simmering toward you and misrouting their rage. Bc like if you respected me wouldn't you try to emotionally regulate rn 😭
Posted by MidAtBestPosted by FuelAirPropellant
New topic idea
Why do bothered people quiet others?
Its a crude manipulation technique to manipulate others into not asserting their needs, and it works too often when there is physical proximity between people. I learned in 2021 that some men intentionally use their anger to intimidate others and impose fear (obv i always knew people use physical tactics, but 2 aries luminary men admitted it verbally that year). Very murican thing with our big ol military culture and everything.
My Pisces ex Josh who i always talk about was one who once bragged to me that people are afraid of his anger. He used to work w my dad until recently. Apparently he was hollering at management "Youd better give me a raise or im gonna quit!" So they said "bet" and escorted him off premises.
What's scarier is when someone you love expresses disproportionate anger over everyday inconveniences. Bc then it feels like they're simmering toward you and misrouting their rage. Bc like if you respected me wouldn't you try to emotionally regulate rn 😭click to expand
Some people hate others expressing themselves. I grew up with that environment. I always have and continue to have a lot of self confidence. It doesn't matter how I react tho, people will still rage. I think being genuinely positive hurts others like the Sun shining on a vampire.
I do have a powerful energy tho, might be moon conjunct Pluto in Scorpio or my Mars in the 8th. I once saw myself in a recording and thought "what s conceited arsehole" not knowing it was me until a few seconds later lol.
Posted by Polyannanana
I even have to explain this to my own mom and sister 😂😂 and they know me best. Even to my bf who knows me even better. You are probably a highly sensitive person and an introvert. Unfortunately, although it's hard for us, we have to do a lot of explaining to other people. Why we don't talk so much etc
Adapting to your environment a little bit can be to your advantage though. Once people warm up to you, you can explain yourself to them. Tell them that you an introvert, that talking too much and social environments drain your energy, that you are a highly sensitive person , and other people sometimes think you are snobbish because of that. So they will understand that you don't have that much hyper energy for social situations , it's just your nature.
The number 1 biggest mistake that quiet people make is they feel they have to explain to people why they don't talk much. Uh-uh! Don't ever do that because now you're contradicting yourself to people and quite honestly that's what people want out of you. Extroverts should NEVER ask quiet people why are you so quiet. I've been asked that question one too many times and I simply turn around and walk away ignoring them. Some introverts don't take questions like that too kindly which unfortunately is the case with me. If we don't ask why they so talkative and talk to much and since they don't have to feel obligated to explain theirselves to us then they need to have the same respect for us as well. My point...if you truly a very quiet one and a loner who doesn't give a fuck about people then this post of mine is for folks like you and me to take into serious and I do mean serious consideration. That's not a hard pill to swallow.
Posted by MidAtBest
I learned to exude peace and calm when I adopted my cat, too. One of the blessings of becoming a "parent".
Im glad you'll get to work on your own. I think you'd have a better time if you had the chance to work with country boys and gamers in their 20s. No women. Thats been my best work team experience, theres not all this hate and anger within them and they're not focused on you, rather on talking about vidya.
Since you mentioned liberal tears, if you deal with lots of libs, I have a theory that people who feel guilty about recognizing non-PC patterns are pent up with frustration and lash out disproportionately on others, such as right wingers etc. Ill read it on reddit all the time : "my bf is an amazing person, hes just racist." "It doesnt matter how perfect of a partner he is, hes trash!!" The bigoted person doesn't try to deny his experiences and force himself to take on unnatural guilt and beliefs. The lib is always pissed off but cant say why, so they abuse everyone else
Yes. Actually some of my favorite coworkers are the ones that are younger and played tons of video games
Posted by victoria-sakuraPosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by victoria-sakuraPosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by victoria-sakura
I've had a client totally pissed off and escalated to manager because I talked too little. I never fully understood but have been advised that it can be due to my body language.
Silence can be seen as as sign of rejection too...
I am an over thinker but I think assuming things about people with out knowing them is not something adults should be doing. Makes sense tho. click to expand
Most, if not everyone, assumes something about other people. It's usually tend to be the effect of missing pieces of information not given, so people come to some kind of conclusions to fill in the gaps.click to expand
Some things can be assumed. But if you are not given anything to work with, its safe to not assumeclick to expand
You're never not given anything to work with, unless you have never seen, nor interacted with that person in any shape or form. Context matters. Body language matters. Facial expression matters. You're always telling something even if you aren't always talking.
Plus assumptions are often based on something: an observation, a remark, a reaction, etc. It's rarely made out of thin air.click to expand
Assumptions will always be assumptions with no truth to them if you do not Converse about what you're curious about. Assumptions is a form of judgment. Seems I am not the one judging here.
Posted by MidAtBestPosted by FuelAirPropellant
New topic idea
Why do bothered people quiet others?
Its a crude manipulation technique to manipulate others into not asserting their needs, and it works too often when there is physical proximity between people. I learned in 2021 that some men intentionally use their anger to intimidate others and impose fear (obv i always knew people use physical tactics, but 2 aries luminary men admitted it verbally that year). Very murican thing with our big ol military culture and everything.
My Pisces ex Josh who i always talk about was one who once bragged to me that people are afraid of his anger. He used to work w my dad until recently. Apparently he was hollering at management "Youd better give me a raise or im gonna quit!" So they said "bet" and escorted him off premises.
What's scarier is when someone you love expresses disproportionate anger over everyday inconveniences. Bc then it feels like they're simmering toward you and misrouting their rage. Bc like if you respected me wouldn't you try to emotionally regulate rn 😭click to expand
Josh sounds like a winner 😅
Posted by clare
If she reflected on her own behaviour she'd know why he was acting off or perhaps if she can persevere, have some patience and take a little time and effort to get to know him better without being a snide, this might help, instead of getting pissed off like a child.
Who is he?
Who is getting pissed off?
Posted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by victoria-sakuraPosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by victoria-sakuraPosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by victoria-sakura
I've had a client totally pissed off and escalated to manager because I talked too little. I never fully understood but have been advised that it can be due to my body language.
Silence can be seen as as sign of rejection too...
I am an over thinker but I think assuming things about people with out knowing them is not something adults should be doing. Makes sense tho. click to expand
Most, if not everyone, assumes something about other people. It's usually tend to be the effect of missing pieces of information not given, so people come to some kind of conclusions to fill in the gaps.click to expand
Some things can be assumed. But if you are not given anything to work with, its safe to not assumeclick to expand
You're never not given anything to work with, unless you have never seen, nor interacted with that person in any shape or form. Context matters. Body language matters. Facial expression matters. You're always telling something even if you aren't always talking.
Plus assumptions are often based on something: an observation, a remark, a reaction, etc. It's rarely made out of thin air.click to expand
Assumptions will always be assumptions with no truth to them if you do not Converse about what you're curious about. Assumptions is a form of judgment. Seems I am not the one judging here.click to expand
You don't always need to be talking in order to converse and communicate. A lot of times assumptions, while not equal to truths, have a lot of truths to them.
Posted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by MidAtBestPosted by FuelAirPropellant
New topic idea
Why do bothered people quiet others?
Its a crude manipulation technique to manipulate others into not asserting their needs, and it works too often when there is physical proximity between people. I learned in 2021 that some men intentionally use their anger to intimidate others and impose fear (obv i always knew people use physical tactics, but 2 aries luminary men admitted it verbally that year). Very murican thing with our big ol military culture and everything.
My Pisces ex Josh who i always talk about was one who once bragged to me that people are afraid of his anger. He used to work w my dad until recently. Apparently he was hollering at management "Youd better give me a raise or im gonna quit!" So they said "bet" and escorted him off premises.
What's scarier is when someone you love expresses disproportionate anger over everyday inconveniences. Bc then it feels like they're simmering toward you and misrouting their rage. Bc like if you respected me wouldn't you try to emotionally regulate rn 😭click to expand
Josh sounds like a winner 😅click to expand
total dime physically
Posted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by clare
If she reflected on her own behaviour she'd know why he was acting off or perhaps if she can persevere, have some patience and take a little time and effort to get to know him better without being a snide, this might help, instead of getting pissed off like a child.
Who is he?
Who is getting pissed off?click to expand
You're he. Apologies if I got your gender wrong and you're she ..
"There is a super social girl that just started working here .. The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me."
Why does the presence of quiet people bother others.
Firstly personally it doesn't bother me. I don't notice them at all. But quiet a few times people have played quiet but behind my back they were doing weird things like makig prank phonecalls to all of us. But playing quiet in front of us. Obv that bugged us.
But for quiet people who do nothing.
I think its because relationships are built on communication. And if you dont communicate there is no relationship. Quiet people don't build relationships and therefore they always remain strangers outsiders and not allies or friends. If your workplace is social its built upon friendships. If its more formal or political its build upon allyship.
Quiet people don't build either of those. Therefore they always remain strangers and outsiders. The presence of outsiders and strangers is universally seen as a transgression. People feel they must tolerate the presence of a stranger. They often resent this and believe it or not it feels MORE fake and false than what quiet people consider small talk.
Social interactions build relationships. They build social cohesion and loyalty.
Quiet people are always outsiders unless you are talking about a social group like a family.
Introverts may feel like outsiders because it's the initial phase of forming a relationship (becoming an insider) that is the most tiring for them. People around them feel like introverts are strangers or outsides because they literally are. They don't know anything about them.
You can't really have a genuine relationship with someone you don't know anything about or form connection.
So while quiet people often feel they are very genuine in comparison to their louder peers .. their peers often feel like their few interactions with them are forced superficial and fake. Whereas the quiet person feels their outgoing peers are the more superficial ones.
People show loyalty to friends. They don't feel they owe strangers anything. If you define a stranger as someone you don't really know .. that is a quiet person a lot of the time. Its not a deep bond.
Obv quiet people often have close friends and often these friendships are deep but they tend to have fewer ones.
Basically quiet people seem like strangers or outsiders and these people are often resented and seen as someone we have to tolerate. Not quite part of the pack.
Outsiders often have negative feelings projected unfairly onto them. Outsiders rarely give loyalty to the group .. and the group knows this.
Trust is built through communication and so quiet people are often not trusted.
Anyway sorry about your work situation i hope it gets better.
Firstly personally it doesn't bother me. I don't notice them at all. But quiet a few times people have played quiet but behind my back they were doing weird things like makig prank phonecalls to all of us. But playing quiet in front of us. Obv that bugged us.
But for quiet people who do nothing.
I think its because relationships are built on communication. And if you dont communicate there is no relationship. Quiet people don't build relationships and therefore they always remain strangers outsiders and not allies or friends. If your workplace is social its built upon friendships. If its more formal or political its build upon allyship.
Quiet people don't build either of those. Therefore they always remain strangers and outsiders. The presence of outsiders and strangers is universally seen as a transgression. People feel they must tolerate the presence of a stranger. They often resent this and believe it or not it feels MORE fake and false than what quiet people consider small talk.
Social interactions build relationships. They build social cohesion and loyalty.
Quiet people are always outsiders unless you are talking about a social group like a family.
Introverts may feel like outsiders because it's the initial phase of forming a relationship (becoming an insider) that is the most tiring for them. People around them feel like introverts are strangers or outsides because they literally are. They don't know anything about them.
You can't really have a genuine relationship with someone you don't know anything about or form connection.
So while quiet people often feel they are very genuine in comparison to their louder peers .. their peers often feel like their few interactions with them are forced superficial and fake. Whereas the quiet person feels their outgoing peers are the more superficial ones.
People show loyalty to friends. They don't feel they owe strangers anything. If you define a stranger as someone you don't really know .. that is a quiet person a lot of the time. Its not a deep bond.
Obv quiet people often have close friends and often these friendships are deep but they tend to have fewer ones.
Basically quiet people seem like strangers or outsiders and these people are often resented and seen as someone we have to tolerate. Not quite part of the pack.
Outsiders often have negative feelings projected unfairly onto them. Outsiders rarely give loyalty to the group .. and the group knows this.
Trust is built through communication and so quiet people are often not trusted.
Anyway sorry about your work situation i hope it gets better.
Why does the presence of quiet people bother others.
Firstly personally it doesn't bother me. I don't notice them at all. But quiet a few times people have played quiet but behind my back they were doing weird things like makig prank phonecalls to all of us. But playing quiet in front of us. Obv that bugged us.
But for quiet people who do nothing.
I think its because relationships are built on communication. And if you dont communicate there is no relationship. Quiet people don't build relationships and therefore they always remain strangers outsiders and not allies or friends. If your workplace is social its built upon friendships. If its more formal or political its build upon allyship.
Quiet people don't build either of those. Therefore they always remain strangers and outsiders. The presence of outsiders and strangers is universally seen as a transgression. People feel they must tolerate the presence of a stranger. They often resent this and believe it or not it feels MORE fake and false than what quiet people consider small talk.
Social interactions build relationships. They build social cohesion and loyalty.
Quiet people are always outsiders unless you are talking about a social group like a family.
Introverts may feel like outsiders because it's the initial phase of forming a relationship (becoming an insider) that is the most tiring for them. People around them feel like introverts are strangers or outsides because they literally are. They don't know anything about them.
You can't really have a genuine relationship with someone you don't know anything about or form connection.
So while quiet people often feel they are very genuine in comparison to their louder peers .. their peers often feel like their few interactions with them are forced superficial and fake. Whereas the quiet person feels their outgoing peers are the more superficial ones.
People show loyalty to friends. They don't feel they owe strangers anything. If you define a stranger as someone you don't really know .. that is a quiet person a lot of the time. Its not a deep bond.
Obv quiet people often have close friends and often these friendships are deep but they tend to have fewer ones.
Basically quiet people seem like strangers or outsiders and these people are often resented and seen as someone we have to tolerate. Not quite part of the pack.
Outsiders often have negative feelings projected unfairly onto them. Outsiders rarely give loyalty to the group .. and the group knows this.
Trust is built through communication and so quiet people are often not trusted.
Anyway sorry about your work situation i hope it gets better.
Firstly personally it doesn't bother me. I don't notice them at all. But quiet a few times people have played quiet but behind my back they were doing weird things like makig prank phonecalls to all of us. But playing quiet in front of us. Obv that bugged us.
But for quiet people who do nothing.
I think its because relationships are built on communication. And if you dont communicate there is no relationship. Quiet people don't build relationships and therefore they always remain strangers outsiders and not allies or friends. If your workplace is social its built upon friendships. If its more formal or political its build upon allyship.
Quiet people don't build either of those. Therefore they always remain strangers and outsiders. The presence of outsiders and strangers is universally seen as a transgression. People feel they must tolerate the presence of a stranger. They often resent this and believe it or not it feels MORE fake and false than what quiet people consider small talk.
Social interactions build relationships. They build social cohesion and loyalty.
Quiet people are always outsiders unless you are talking about a social group like a family.
Introverts may feel like outsiders because it's the initial phase of forming a relationship (becoming an insider) that is the most tiring for them. People around them feel like introverts are strangers or outsides because they literally are. They don't know anything about them.
You can't really have a genuine relationship with someone you don't know anything about or form connection.
So while quiet people often feel they are very genuine in comparison to their louder peers .. their peers often feel like their few interactions with them are forced superficial and fake. Whereas the quiet person feels their outgoing peers are the more superficial ones.
People show loyalty to friends. They don't feel they owe strangers anything. If you define a stranger as someone you don't really know .. that is a quiet person a lot of the time. Its not a deep bond.
Obv quiet people often have close friends and often these friendships are deep but they tend to have fewer ones.
Basically quiet people seem like strangers or outsiders and these people are often resented and seen as someone we have to tolerate. Not quite part of the pack.
Outsiders often have negative feelings projected unfairly onto them. Outsiders rarely give loyalty to the group .. and the group knows this.
Trust is built through communication and so quiet people are often not trusted.
Anyway sorry about your work situation i hope it gets better.
Posted by lokiloverPosted by WizardzzzPosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by WizardzzzPosted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.
I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.
I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.
I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.
There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)
The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.
(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)
Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.
I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?
Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.
It's clear from your post that you are judgemental in your silence. That's whyclick to expand
Im an observer. I have no opinions about people's behavior just observations. If being seen and being observed bothers you then you should probably stay homeclick to expand
How do you get to decide what bothers someone and what shouldn't? People can tell you're a judgemental and petty person who thinks they are superior because of their detachment from the attempts of others to create some social human contact 😆click to expand
nah forget astrology for a sec but yall are doing the same thing rn about passing judgement, very hypocritical. also its easy to say unless u been in this type of situationclick to expand
So much yes. You see it.
Posted by Textosmoon
Why does the presence of quiet people bother others.
Firstly personally it doesn't bother me. I don't notice them at all. But quiet a few times people have played quiet but behind my back they were doing weird things like makig prank phonecalls to all of us. But playing quiet in front of us. Obv that bugged us.
But for quiet people who do nothing.
I think its because relationships are built on communication. And if you dont communicate there is no relationship. Quiet people don't build relationships and therefore they always remain strangers outsiders and not allies or friends. If your workplace is social its built upon friendships. If its more formal or political its build upon allyship.
Quiet people don't build either of those. Therefore they always remain strangers and outsiders. The presence of outsiders and strangers is universally seen as a transgression. People feel they must tolerate the presence of a stranger. They often resent this and believe it or not it feels MORE fake and false than what quiet people consider small talk.
Social interactions build relationships. They build social cohesion and loyalty.
Quiet people are always outsiders unless you are talking about a social group like a family.
Introverts may feel like outsiders because it's the initial phase of forming a relationship (becoming an insider) that is the most tiring for them. People around them feel like introverts are strangers or outsides because they literally are. They don't know anything about them.
You can't really have a genuine relationship with someone you don't know anything about or form connection.
So while quiet people often feel they are very genuine in comparison to their louder peers .. their peers often feel like their few interactions with them are forced superficial and fake. Whereas the quiet person feels their outgoing peers are the more superficial ones.
People show loyalty to friends. They don't feel they owe strangers anything. If you define a stranger as someone you don't really know .. that is a quiet person a lot of the time. Its not a deep bond.
Obv quiet people often have close friends and often these friendships are deep but they tend to have fewer ones.
Basically quiet people seem like strangers or outsiders and these people are often resented and seen as someone we have to tolerate. Not quite part of the pack.
Outsiders often have negative feelings projected unfairly onto them. Outsiders rarely give loyalty to the group .. and the group knows this.
Trust is built through communication and so quiet people are often not trusted.
Anyway sorry about your work situation i hope it gets better.
Love this take on it.
I can see that. For context on my particular situation the girl who sent me nasty text messages she had previously gotten in trouble for doing something to me at work that she was not supposed to be doing and after that she kind of lost access to me as a friend. I laid down my boundaries and told her that I had no intentions on being her friend afterwards however I have no problem working with her. She then went on to send me nasty text messages and talks about me at work, I believe in an attempt to make me look bad, how ever everyone here knows me well, so it's not working out in her favor at the moment. I guess I should have added that my quietness is a result of her losing access to my personality as a result of her Behaving Badly towards me. I often times look back at comments or post that I make and wish I would have worded it differently but we are here now.
Posted by clarePosted by Wild-of-you-to-sayPosted by clare
If she reflected on her own behaviour she'd know why he was acting off or perhaps if she can persevere, have some patience and take a little time and effort to get to know him better without being a snide, this might help, instead of getting pissed off like a child.
Who is he?
Who is getting pissed off?click to expand
You're he. Apologies if I got your gender wrong and you're she ..
"There is a super social girl that just started working here .. The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me."
click to expand
I am a girl. Lol
Posted by Textosmoon
Why does the presence of quiet people bother others.
Firstly personally it doesn't bother me. I don't notice them at all. But quiet a few times people have played quiet but behind my back they were doing weird things like makig prank phonecalls to all of us. But playing quiet in front of us. Obv that bugged us.
But for quiet people who do nothing.
I think its because relationships are built on communication. And if you dont communicate there is no relationship. Quiet people don't build relationships and therefore they always remain strangers outsiders and not allies or friends. If your workplace is social its built upon friendships. If its more formal or political its build upon allyship.
Quiet people don't build either of those. Therefore they always remain strangers and outsiders. The presence of outsiders and strangers is universally seen as a transgression. People feel they must tolerate the presence of a stranger. They often resent this and believe it or not it feels MORE fake and false than what quiet people consider small talk.
Social interactions build relationships. They build social cohesion and loyalty.
Quiet people are always outsiders unless you are talking about a social group like a family.
Introverts may feel like outsiders because it's the initial phase of forming a relationship (becoming an insider) that is the most tiring for them. People around them feel like introverts are strangers or outsides because they literally are. They don't know anything about them.
You can't really have a genuine relationship with someone you don't know anything about or form connection.
So while quiet people often feel they are very genuine in comparison to their louder peers .. their peers often feel like their few interactions with them are forced superficial and fake. Whereas the quiet person feels their outgoing peers are the more superficial ones.
People show loyalty to friends. They don't feel they owe strangers anything. If you define a stranger as someone you don't really know .. that is a quiet person a lot of the time. Its not a deep bond.
Obv quiet people often have close friends and often these friendships are deep but they tend to have fewer ones.
Basically quiet people seem like strangers or outsiders and these people are often resented and seen as someone we have to tolerate. Not quite part of the pack.
Outsiders often have negative feelings projected unfairly onto them. Outsiders rarely give loyalty to the group .. and the group knows this.
Trust is built through communication and so quiet people are often not trusted.
Anyway sorry about your work situation i hope it gets better.
The answer the thread needed. Brava.
It reminds me of dating/messing with Saturnian men who give nothing- no eye contact, minimal communication, no emotional sharing, no compliments- then are surprised when you cuck them hard.
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