Why do quiet people bother others? (Page 2)

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say

Posted by Mare-E-Sole

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.

I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.

I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.

I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.

There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)

The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.

(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)

Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.

I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?

Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.

You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.

At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.

So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.

You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.

And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand

You dont think its their behavior that causes problems. I believe what your doing is gas lighting

click to expand

Nope. I think you’re unwilling to listen to another perspective. Since you already have the answers, why did you make this thread if you didn’t want a stranger’s opinion on the internet—

Posted by Bluemoon86

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say

Posted by Mare-E-Sole

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.

I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.

I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.

I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.

There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)

The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.

(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)

Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.

I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?

Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.

You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.

At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.

So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.

You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.

And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand

You dont think its their behavior that causes problems. I believe what your doing is gas lightingclick to expand

Nope. I think you’re unwilling to listen to another perspective. Since you already have the answers, why did you make this thread if you didn’t want a stranger’s opinion on the internet—

click to expand

I can take this opinion to other places, its not valid here.

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say

Posted by Bluemoon86

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say

Posted by Mare-E-Sole

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.

I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.

I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.

I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.

There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)

The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.

(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)

Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.

I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?

Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.

You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.

At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.

So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.

You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.

And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand

You dont think its their behavior that causes problems. I believe what your doing is gas lightingclick to expand

Nope. I think you’re unwilling to listen to another perspective. Since you already have the answers, why did you make this thread if you didn’t want a stranger’s opinion on the internet—

I can take this opinion to other places, its not valid here.

click to expand

Don't argue with her. I already see where this is heading. Straight down the gutter.

Pisces energy i think wins at self-entertainment and silence, but people hunt them down endlessly for attention

My old coworker was a Scorpio stellium with Capricorn moon/Libra mars and he almost never started conversations and never said much in response, but he was easily bored and loved to observe others in the workplace and pass judgment. So I dont think he was able to self-entertain. Cap energy is clucking hen energy plus that mars loves goss

Aquas want to be alone for long stretches to ponder but they're also so into their best childhood friends. Not hermits

I think it takes Cancer energy to be a true lone Claude Frollo

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.

I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.

I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.

I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.

There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)

The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.

(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)

Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.

I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?

Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.

I’m both very quiet/barely speak and other times, I can be very outgoing/social. Depends on my mood. I have not ever taken notice to people being bothered 😕 by me when I am quiet. I do get told, “You got to watch out for the quiet ones!”

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say

Posted by victoria-sakura

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say

Posted by victoria-sakura
I've had a client totally pissed off and escalated to manager because I talked too little. I never fully understood but have been advised that it can be due to my body language.

Silence can be seen as as sign of rejection too...

I am an over thinker but I think assuming things about people with out knowing them is not something adults should be doing. Makes sense tho. click to expand

Most, if not everyone, assumes something about other people. It's usually tend to be the effect of missing pieces of information not given, so people come to some kind of conclusions to fill in the gaps.click to expand

Some things can be assumed. But if you are not given anything to work with, its safe to not assume

click to expand

You're never not given anything to work with, unless you have never seen, nor interacted with that person in any shape or form. Context matters. Body language matters. Facial expression matters. You're always telling something even if you aren't always talking.

Plus assumptions are often based on something: an observation, a remark, a reaction, etc. It's rarely made out of thin air.

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say

Posted by Wizardzzz

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.

I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.

I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.

I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.

There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)

The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.

(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)

Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.

I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?

Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.

It's clear from your post that you are judgemental in your silence. That's whyclick to expand

Im an observer. I have no opinions about people's behavior just observations. If being seen and being observed bothers you then you should probably stay home

click to expand

How do you get to decide what bothers someone and what shouldn't? People can tell you're a judgemental and petty person who thinks they are superior because of their detachment from the attempts of others to create some social human contact 😆

Posted by Wizardzzz

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say

Posted by Wizardzzz

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.

I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.

I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.

I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.

There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)

The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.

(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)

Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.

I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?

Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.

It's clear from your post that you are judgemental in your silence. That's whyclick to expand

Im an observer. I have no opinions about people's behavior just observations. If being seen and being observed bothers you then you should probably stay homeclick to expand

How do you get to decide what bothers someone and what shouldn't? People can tell you're a judgemental and petty person who thinks they are superior because of their detachment from the attempts of others to create some social human contact 😆

click to expand

nah forget astrology for a sec but yall are doing the same thing rn about passing judgement, very hypocritical. also its easy to say unless u been in this type of situation

Posted by Whynn

Posted by Raminheartz
I keep to myself at work. Initially people found it off putting, but I kept at it and now it seems normal. I think people have expectations of what is acceptable social behavior and when you don’t behave as expected, it throws them off. My solution was to retrain their expectations of me.

Now the only issue I have at work is with this Aquarian guy. He’s suffering from God complex or something. We get it you’re special. Since I’ve moved up in the workplace, I can feel the resentment. Some air signs can be so competitive over stupid shit.

Sorry to barge in at your post but lol at Aquas and God complex syndrome. I experienced it too, there was 2 Aquas I dealt with and they were very competitive in the end. At first it wasn't seen but then suddenly boom they were all competitive coming like a black hoarse and my libra mars was like wtf Ima show'em how I fought. I lost though due to my inability to be socially likeable in that workplace. But like probably it's because of my Aqua Jupiter so I may acted like Ms Know-it-all haha my bad on that part like they tried to be flawless but my sag rising and uranus in 1st just had to mess it up lol so in the end I lost the competition and got laid off, sigh

Having an Aries boss who took everything personally and Libra big boss who could see all sides they had to put me to rest.

Idk why I am still ruminating over the bad stuff going on from my last workplace, maybe in my mind, I wish I could play the game much better. That kind of thing.. or I wish I could be smarter, but I was too relaxed.. thinking positively that no one was there to get me or trick me..

But perhaps at the end of the day, they sensed off-putting about me that I didn't get enough sympathy to stay there. Perhaps my "appearance" was not attractive enough.. I mean, I swear...at workplace your likability holds much more weight than your actual work. Or at least, that's what I think.. correct me if I am wrong.

click to expand

Appearance matters. My last job, they promoted some attractive people in their twenties. However there was a case where work matters more. A major issue occurred and the customer was swearing at the upper management. My unlikeable coworker was thrown under the bus by management for the issue. I avoided being involved because if something went wrong I had no doubt they blame me and throw me under as well, so they assigned their young attractive manager to deal with the issue.

Unfortunately for them, the issue occurred again and the customer was seething. Apparently good looks and presentation doesn’t solve knowledge based problems. Who knew?

I walked past the upper manager in the hallway. He looked like a beaten man and he attempted to say hi when previous times he didn’t acknowledge me and rather devote his time fishing off the company pier for young attractive fish. I saw this desperate attempt at a hi as please rescue me and fix this. I didn’t get involved. The executives laid him off several months later. Likability never goes out of style , but there are these few moments when the stars align where it is not enough.

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say

Posted by Polyannanana
I even have to explain this to my own mom and sister 😂😂 and they know me best. Even to my bf who knows me even better. You are probably a highly sensitive person and an introvert. Unfortunately, although it's hard for us, we have to do a lot of explaining to other people. Why we don't talk so much etc

Adapting to your environment a little bit can be to your advantage though. Once people warm up to you, you can explain yourself to them. Tell them that you an introvert, that talking too much and social environments drain your energy, that you are a highly sensitive person , and other people sometimes think you are snobbish because of that. So they will understand that you don't have that much hyper energy for social situations , it's just your nature.

So much yes. You hit the nail on the head. I am really good at explaining these things to people that are welcoming to me but if they are not patient and give me that time to open up and they get irritated with me and do something aggravated towards me I can no longer invest my energy in them. I know you understand what I mean

click to expand

Totally. It's hard to deal with some people. It can feel almost like fiction like in emily in paris or legally blonde, how they were bullied until they didn't give up and finally anchored themselves in the work place ☺️ It doesn't matter at the end of the day though.

But I feel like you should confront someone at work if they compare themselves to you in front of the customers or colleagues and tries to do reputation damage. Just tell them in the moment what they did is not professional. You don't have to fight but definitely assert yourself in those situations, even if it's not in the moment, you can do it one on one later too.

Posted by Raminheartz

Posted by Whynn

Posted by Raminheartz
I keep to myself at work. Initially people found it off putting, but I kept at it and now it seems normal. I think people have expectations of what is acceptable social behavior and when you don’t behave as expected, it throws them off. My solution was to retrain their expectations of me.

Now the only issue I have at work is with this Aquarian guy. He’s suffering from God complex or something. We get it you’re special. Since I’ve moved up in the workplace, I can feel the resentment. Some air signs can be so competitive over stupid shit.

Sorry to barge in at your post but lol at Aquas and God complex syndrome. I experienced it too, there was 2 Aquas I dealt with and they were very competitive in the end. At first it wasn't seen but then suddenly boom they were all competitive coming like a black hoarse and my libra mars was like wtf Ima show'em how I fought. I lost though due to my inability to be socially likeable in that workplace. But like probably it's because of my Aqua Jupiter so I may acted like Ms Know-it-all haha my bad on that part like they tried to be flawless but my sag rising and uranus in 1st just had to mess it up lol so in the end I lost the competition and got laid off, sigh

Having an Aries boss who took everything personally and Libra big boss who could see all sides they had to put me to rest.

Idk why I am still ruminating over the bad stuff going on from my last workplace, maybe in my mind, I wish I could play the game much better. That kind of thing.. or I wish I could be smarter, but I was too relaxed.. thinking positively that no one was there to get me or trick me..

But perhaps at the end of the day, they sensed off-putting about me that I didn't get enough sympathy to stay there. Perhaps my "appearance" was not attractive enough.. I mean, I swear...at workplace your likability holds much more weight than your actual work. Or at least, that's what I think.. correct me if I am wrong.click to expand

Appearance matters. My last job, they promoted some attractive people in their twenties. However there was a case where work matters more. A major issue occurred and the customer was swearing at the upper management. My unlikeable coworker was thrown under the bus by management for the issue. I avoided being involved because if something went wrong I had no doubt they blame me and throw me under as well, so they assigned their young attractive manager to deal with the issue.

Unfortunately for them, the issue occurred again and the customer was seething. Apparently good looks and presentation doesn’t solve knowledge based problems. Who knew?

I walked past the upper manager in the hallway. He looked like a beaten man and he attempted to say hi when previous times he didn’t acknowledge me and rather devote his time fishing off the company pier for young attractive fish. I saw this desperate attempt at a hi as please rescue me and fix this. I didn’t get involved. The executives laid him off several months later. Likability never goes out of style , but there are these few moments when the stars align where it is not enough.

click to expand

Worked at so many places like that, really brings the company down. I usually don't see myself in those places too long cause I'm unable to kiss ass (only in the figurative sense)

I don’t understand why quiet ppl bother others either.. I’ve always been a quiet person since I was a child. My mom would always insist I needed to talk more or put myself out there because I never would include myself in things unless I was included by others. I was extremely shy. In high school I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “why are you so quiet?” by people. I’ve tried to be more outgoing and being more proactive in making friends, but it only goes so far.

I remember during chemistry class in high school I had a classmate I would talk to and thought we were friends. But whenever we had to group up with ppl she’d never include me in her group… I was like what did I do wrong? Am I boring or something? Maybe I am 😂 but now that I’m older I don’t care anymore to try to be outgoing, I rather have one genuine friend than many and that’s how it’s always been in my life, just one good friend and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

Just recently I started working at a Juice Bar but quit after 3 weeks. The manager liked to be “friends” with the employees and gossip, and I guess I was too quiet or hard to talk to because she seemed to play favorites for the other employees. She probably wanted me to talk more but I’m sorry I’m just there to make extra money not chisme 🤷🏻‍♀️

Posted by Raminheartz

Posted by Whynn

Posted by Raminheartz
I keep to myself at work. Initially people found it off putting, but I kept at it and now it seems normal. I think people have expectations of what is acceptable social behavior and when you don’t behave as expected, it throws them off. My solution was to retrain their expectations of me.

Now the only issue I have at work is with this Aquarian guy. He’s suffering from God complex or something. We get it you’re special. Since I’ve moved up in the workplace, I can feel the resentment. Some air signs can be so competitive over stupid shit.

Sorry to barge in at your post but lol at Aquas and God complex syndrome. I experienced it too, there was 2 Aquas I dealt with and they were very competitive in the end. At first it wasn't seen but then suddenly boom they were all competitive coming like a black hoarse and my libra mars was like wtf Ima show'em how I fought. I lost though due to my inability to be socially likeable in that workplace. But like probably it's because of my Aqua Jupiter so I may acted like Ms Know-it-all haha my bad on that part like they tried to be flawless but my sag rising and uranus in 1st just had to mess it up lol so in the end I lost the competition and got laid off, sigh

Having an Aries boss who took everything personally and Libra big boss who could see all sides they had to put me to rest.

Idk why I am still ruminating over the bad stuff going on from my last workplace, maybe in my mind, I wish I could play the game much better. That kind of thing.. or I wish I could be smarter, but I was too relaxed.. thinking positively that no one was there to get me or trick me..

But perhaps at the end of the day, they sensed off-putting about me that I didn't get enough sympathy to stay there. Perhaps my "appearance" was not attractive enough.. I mean, I swear...at workplace your likability holds much more weight than your actual work. Or at least, that's what I think.. correct me if I am wrong.click to expand

Appearance matters. My last job, they promoted some attractive people in their twenties. However there was a case where work matters more. A major issue occurred and the customer was swearing at the upper management. My unlikeable coworker was thrown under the bus by management for the issue. I avoided being involved because if something went wrong I had no doubt they blame me and throw me under as well, so they assigned their young attractive manager to deal with the issue.

Unfortunately for them, the issue occurred again and the customer was seething. Apparently good looks and presentation doesn’t solve knowledge based problems. Who knew?

I walked past the upper manager in the hallway. He looked like a beaten man and he attempted to say hi when previous times he didn’t acknowledge me and rather devote his time fishing off the company pier for young attractive fish. I saw this desperate attempt at a hi as please rescue me and fix this. I didn’t get involved. The executives laid him off several months later. Likability never goes out of style , but there are these few moments when the stars align where it is not enough.

click to expand

Yes, at the end of the day our work is what matters but really appearance and likability can help a lot.

Including likability with your coworkers.. it is to smooth the collab.

Technical work is the one mostly does not require likability, right?

Posted by Mare-E-Sole

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say

Posted by Mare-E-Sole

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.

I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.

I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.

I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.

There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)

The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.

(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)

Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.

I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?

Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.

You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.

At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.

So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.

You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.

And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand

You dont think its their behavior that causes problems. I believe what your doing is gas lightingclick to expand

Gas lighting? That is a strong reaction to my solution. No, I wasn’t gas lighting… I was just asking you to look into yourself. As we should ALL do in this world, especially when we seem to be having repeated bad experiences.

No one is perfect. Is it really out of the question to improve on some of your habits that might not be working for you?

What’s wrong with finding out if you might be giving off signals to others that are giving you a bad experience OFTEN?

Your response scares me…lol. Just seems very exaggerated and almost made up. Relax, not everyone with a different opinion or option is out to get you or trick you. I was honestly just trying to figure out a solution.

Don’t make it so personal.

click to expand

I think it’s because a lot of ppl don’t understand quiet people and assume because they are quiet they think they are “good” even without doing anything to act like that. I’ve had my mom tell me too that if I’m too quiet ppl will think that I think I’m stuck up. Even just by existing

Telling op it’s her that’s causing those negative reactions from ppl feels to her like your invalidating her experience and kind of hurtful to her even though you meant well.

I don’t believe op ever did anything to be treated that way, and even if she did that doesn’t give them a right to act that way towards her.

Let's be real here. It does seem like we quiet people receive the most attention of them all even when not trying to be an attention grabber. I call it unwanted attention. Those on this thread who claim to be quiet (which I'm sure we all know who but I ain't calling no name) and extroverts wouldn't understand the struggles we go through. Only the true quiet ones would understand and not the fake ones.

I have always been quiet as well and also got bullied growing up because of it. I have been called a mute and stuck up. I was also constantly asked “why are you so quiet?” Or “why don’t you talk?” I always felt out of place and like I didn’t fit in because of my silence. I’ll never forget being in the grocery store as a child with my mom one day and we ran into one of my father’s co-workers and he asked me how I was doing? I responded, but I guess he didn’t hear me and I suppose my mother didn’t either because when we got home my mother told my father what had happened and they got so angry at me and told me what an embarrassment I was to them not speaking to my elders when spoken to. And how I need to get out of my shyness and act like other children my age as to not draw negative attention to myself or my parents. I always remained an introvert though. Even if that meant I was stuck up or weird or an embarrassment…..it’s who I was….who I am. 🤷‍♀️

Posted by BlackPearl
I don’t understand why quiet ppl bother others either.. I’ve always been a quiet person since I was a child. My mom would always insist I needed to talk more or put myself out there because I never would include myself in things unless I was included by others. I was extremely shy. In high school I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “why are you so quiet?” by people. I’ve tried to be more outgoing and being more proactive in making friends, but it only goes so far.

I remember during chemistry class in high school I had a classmate I would talk to and thought we were friends. But whenever we had to group up with ppl she’d never include me in her group… I was like what did I do wrong? Am I boring or something? Maybe I am 😂 but now that I’m older I don’t care anymore to try to be outgoing, I rather have one genuine friend than many and that’s how it’s always been in my life, just one good friend and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

Just recently I started working at a Juice Bar but quit after 3 weeks. The manager liked to be “friends” with the employees and gossip, and I guess I was too quiet or hard to talk to because she seemed to play favorites for the other employees. She probably wanted me to talk more but I’m sorry I’m just there to make extra money not chisme 🤷🏻‍♀️

People love Chisme. I'll admit I became way more social when I got older (around 27/Saturn return) before that I was mostly quiet even as a performing musician. On one trip to San Francisco, my band mates said "it was like you weren't even I nthe van with us"

I still enjoy being remembered as the quiet weirdo cause I can be socially fake as I want to now.

Posted by BlackPearl

Posted by Mare-E-Sole

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say

Posted by Mare-E-Sole

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.

I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.

I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.

I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.

There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)

The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.

(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)

Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.

I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?

Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.

You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.

At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.

So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.

You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.

And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand

You dont think its their behavior that causes problems. I believe what your doing is gas lightingclick to expand

Gas lighting? That is a strong reaction to my solution. No, I wasn’t gas lighting… I was just asking you to look into yourself. As we should ALL do in this world, especially when we seem to be having repeated bad experiences.

No one is perfect. Is it really out of the question to improve on some of your habits that might not be working for you?

What’s wrong with finding out if you might be giving off signals to others that are giving you a bad experience OFTEN?

Your response scares me…lol. Just seems very exaggerated and almost made up. Relax, not everyone with a different opinion or option is out to get you or trick you. I was honestly just trying to figure out a solution.

Don’t make it so personal.click to expand

I think it’s because a lot of ppl don’t understand quiet people and assume because they are quiet they think they are “good” even without doing anything to act like that. I’ve had my mom tell me too that if I’m too quiet ppl will think that I think I’m stuck up. Even just by existing

Telling op it’s her that’s causing those negative reactions from ppl feels to her like your invalidating her experience and kind of hurtful to her even though you meant well.

I don’t believe op ever did anything to be treated that way, and even if she did that doesn’t give them a right to act that way towards her.

click to expand

This is assuming all quiet people are the same. It’s like assuming all Aries or all Scorpios are the same. They’re not all the same. I think I read something in another thread that since I am a Republican, I fit this guy’s narrative/assumption/delusion of not supporting education or something to that effect.

Bottom-line: not everyone is the same and quiet people are assuming the victim role in this thread.

What MareinFrame said was honest. After reading the OP, I felt the same vibes. Not everyone can handle honesty though. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Just to be clear, I don’t have anything against quiet people — I’m answering the questions you asked: Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.

I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?

Reading through your replies, I see someone who’s been through a lot and learned to survive by flattening your energy so you feel "safe” — for yourself and for others. That makes sense with customers yelling, money thrown at you, and having to stay calm just to get through a shift.

But from the outside, it doesn’t land as neutral the way you think it does. When you say there’s "evil in humans that can’t stand a Godly peace,” that you’re "10000% monotone,” that you "just observe and collect paychecks,” and when you describe growing up with "if they are mad, then Im doing something right" — that isn’t just observing. Whatever your intent, those statements read like a moral verdict about them and a narrative about yourself.

Your boyfriend’s silence feels calm and safe to you. A lot of your coworkers clearly aren’t feeling your silence that way — they’re reacting to it like it’s cold, judging, or closed. That doesn’t mean you’re a villain, but it does mean your energy isn’t invisible. People don’t only react to what you say; they react to how seen, accepted, or dismissed they feel around you.

Of course, some people lash out because of their own issues, regardless of how anyone shows up — but when the same reactions keep happening across different people and situations, it’s worth looking at what’s being communicated without meaning to.

One last thing: you’re not the only one observing — people are observing you, too. From what you’ve written, it sounds like you see yourself as the only camera, not realizing you’re also on film.

Its so hard to confront someone in the moment when you need to at work. Usually ive only been able to when the person wasnt an enemy and I felt empowered to do so. Or when I had serious road rash and got occurrences for my call-ins even with a drs note because I had never called in before and didn't know the protocol. More often a power holder will gaslight you into accepting abuse until so much time has passed that you look ridiculous going to HR or complaining about it so late. People are smarter than that. Worse when its groping or something and you know if you complain the possibility for destructive retaliation is high

I dont think Ive ever been disliked for being quiet. The main complaint is that im weird. Being quiet has led people to believe Im not a native english speaker or that im deaf though. Being quiet seems to be a reasonable way to go through life if you can stick to it and show no emotion. People only get offended if they think youre ignoring them

In some cases ill never understand how im that offensively weird since Im not touchy and respect personal space. Like here im openly weird but coworkers figure out they dont like me after very little speaking w me

New topic idea

Why do bothered people quiet others?

Posted by lokilover

Posted by Wizardzzz

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say

Posted by Wizardzzz

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.

I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.

I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.

I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.

There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)

The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.

(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)

Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.

I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?

Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.

It's clear from your post that you are judgemental in your silence. That's whyclick to expand

Im an observer. I have no opinions about people's behavior just observations. If being seen and being observed bothers you then you should probably stay homeclick to expand

How do you get to decide what bothers someone and what shouldn't? People can tell you're a judgemental and petty person who thinks they are superior because of their detachment from the attempts of others to create some social human contact 😆click to expand

nah forget astrology for a sec but yall are doing the same thing rn about passing judgement, very hypocritical. also its easy to say unless u been in this type of situation

click to expand

Yeh so that explains what is happening at work. They sense the energy and respond in kind

Posted by BlackPearl

Posted by Mare-E-Sole

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say

Posted by Mare-E-Sole

Posted by Wild-of-you-to-say
I have been embracing my quiet side because my bf is also quiet, he craves silence just like I do.

I noticed that being in my peace makes super social people mad. I got bullied constantly growing up, for being quiet. I also let people spread rumors about me and believe what ever they wanted because I know only MY people see me and dont need to make things up about me.

I work with people I am not proud to work with. Alot of them remind me of children, emotionally unregulated, selfish and unaware.

I could chime in on a conversation and the first thing out of (said persons) mouth is "anyways" and changes the subject. Like clock work this happens often with me. I do not respond. I do how ever take notes.

There is a super social girl that just started working here, I held back on continuing to talk to her because she refused to give me information to help a client (its my job) she would do the opposite of what I needed and even gloated to customers about why she is better than me. (Low self esteem stuff)

The more I respect the space between us and do not react, the angrier she becomes with me.

(I am starting a new job soon where I can work on my own, so I am not worried about esculating behavior)

Why do people like me bother other people so badly that they act out? I tried putting my feet in these peoples shoes but I can't my head that far up my *ss.

I would like to know why? If a quiet person ever irritated you, did you look within to organize what makes you feel this way about them?

Nothing about my bfs silence and calmness bothers me.

You seem to have strong negative jugdments about social people and you seem to find them a bit inferior to you… just the way you keep describing them.

At the same time, you also don’t seem to fully understand them.

So, maybe they can feel your superior attitude towards them. They might also be good at reading your body and you might be signalling a lot that you are not saying verbally.

You should ask a good friend to observe you to see of you give off signs that you don’t want to engage or if you look jugdy - because that might be a reason.

And if you want a better outcome, it would be good to know what to change in your exchange with others.click to expand

You dont think its their behavior that causes problems. I believe what your doing is gas lightingclick to expand

Gas lighting? That is a strong reaction to my solution. No, I wasn’t gas lighting… I was just asking you to look into yourself. As we should ALL do in this world, especially when we seem to be having repeated bad experiences.

No one is perfect. Is it really out of the question to improve on some of your habits that might not be working for you?

What’s wrong with finding out if you might be giving off signals to others that are giving you a bad experience OFTEN?

Your response scares me…lol. Just seems very exaggerated and almost made up. Relax, not everyone with a different opinion or option is out to get you or trick you. I was honestly just trying to figure out a solution.

Don’t make it so personal.click to expand

I think it’s because a lot of ppl don’t understand quiet people and assume because they are quiet they think they are “good” even without doing anything to act like that. I’ve had my mom tell me too that if I’m too quiet ppl will think that I think I’m stuck up. Even just by existing

Telling op it’s her that’s causing those negative reactions from ppl feels to her like your invalidating her experience and kind of hurtful to her even though you meant well.

I don’t believe op ever did anything to be treated that way, and even if she did that doesn’t give them a right to act that way towards her.

click to expand

Imagine this:

You're sitting inside a bubble. You're not bothering anyone and minding your own business. You feel safe and at peace inside of this space.

To other people who's watching you, what they see is an individual sitting in isolation. Some might wonder if you're new and haven't made any friends yet. Some might think you're too good to hang out with anyone else. Some might wonder if they said something upsetting that made you choose to sit by yourself. Some might see this as being unapproachable. Some might straight up get hurt that you elected to sit by yourself instead of sitting with them. Some might see this as you not liking to hanging out with anyone, and then end up not including you because they believe you won't like it. The manager might see this you choosing to work alone and wonder if you fit the team....