fairyland

hi, glad you came! wander how long it'll take them to find us, hehehe.....

erm.... 'wonder' how long it'll take them, naturally!

spelling, shmelling...who cares. I am curious what your take is on my topic. I can relate to STD, but it's not everyday I come across a lizard scorpio. What are your thoughts?

confused...

what an appropriate topic..."fairyland." What are you confused about?

are you ready for human failure?

could you put up with it?

can you forgive, like things never happened? i don't mean if somebody hurts you. i mean a weakness in someone.

I don't know if I could deal w/ human failure. If I could, the belief that people can change for the better would have to compliment the fact that humans fail. I want to be able to put up w/ it, you know, unconditional love. But where do you draw the line? Life is short, can't hold grudges for too long. Besides, I usually learn from other peoples' weaknesses...what not to do, what to do, how to handle that weakness, etc.

what was wrong with the guys you went out with but didn't like in the end??

could you have known right on the first date, or while meeting them the first time or does it take time to find out why they're not right for you— i mean did you sense in a way that they're not good for you, but gave them a chance to prove your point? or maybe to experiment a bit?

I put a lot of faith in mankind. I don't know why. I don't know if it's because I'm naive. I don't know if it's because I'm idealistic. I don't know why, but I refuse to let go of my faith in mankind....it would leave little hope for better things.

This brings me back to the whole soulmate question. I am a hopeless romantic. I don't need the white horse or the knight in shining armor, but the knight...the knight would be great. A man who is strong, but sensitive. Powerful, but not dominating. Loving, but not naive. Someone who can put me in my place when I start whining for attention, but knows better than to try and control me. I want an equal, and I feel like I'm asking for too much. Also, I'm borderline obsessed with the idea. I'm not out looking for Mr. Right, don't care for Mr. Right Now, I just want to be found.

just coppied that over to read it over and over again, to remember what you really want.just copied that over to read it over and over again, to remember what you really want.

now that's what you want/wish. what are you offering. and now don't say: ME, isn't that enough?

you're not naive... right now you're only fanatic, which is dangerous...

but that will change! how old are you?

The last guy I dated, I knew he would hurt me. I felt that immediately after our first date. I gave him a chance, however, because I liked his "potential." His potential to be...someone who wouldn't hurt me (if that makes any sense). I still have feelings for him, and I keep going back and forth with my feelings (love him vs. hate him...damn mercury retrograde). Either way, I gave him a chance.

I'm 24...I'm only fanatic, right now, cuz the last guy I'm referring to burned me pretty bad.

As far as what I have to offer...in my case, ME is enough. If it's not, than that's ok, too.

what you want and what you whish for is very noble and desirable. your attitude though is extreme. that's in the way... right now. BALANCE is very important.
i have the opposit problem from yours. i'm too weak... at least thats how i perceive myself. i couldn't understand how you would feel treatened by others and cut them out. for me others never were an issue, i always felt strong and confident in competetive situations! but felt that i was my worst enemy. i never feel treatend by others you see. because i don't think anyone could actually treaten me. but i'm afraid of myself, for being for exemple lazy, knowing exactly what must be done but still not doing it etc. does that make sense?

it's hard to keep up a fast conversation that goes that deep, i have to stop and look up words in the dictionary... but hey, I'M STROOOOONG!

how did this guy hurt you? or is that too personal? was it the aries guy?

I do understand. But at least you are strong enough to admit your weaknesses. If you think about it, everyone is their own worst enemy, whether it be consciously or subconsciously. How we appear to others is what scares most people. I'll admit, it scares me too. But what's scarrier, is not know who you are, what you want, doing what you need to do in order to get it. Why aren't you and your g-friend married? You said it was you, and I'm curious. If you don't want to answer, I will completely understand.

What aries guy are you referring to? What have you read?

your post about some aries guy who was straight forward, but still but still sensed he wasn't honest with you, but couldn't tell for sure... am i mistaken again—

Why aren't you and your g-friend married?
will answer, not now!

how did whoever it was hurt you?

"will answer, not now!" Yikes...was that a little taste of venom?

"Message posted by: truthseeker on 6/24/2005 11:55:04 AM

My aries and I (leo)have been dating for 3 months. Shaky in the beginning, but overall, pretty good. One day, I noticed some health changes on my body, and he gave me a "physical" to see what was up. He gave a diagnosis of a Sexually Transmitted Infection (one that I had never noticed or heard of). I did some further research, checked it out, and what I had was what he diagnosed. B/4 I got checked, I told him that I thought he was right about my condition and that I was going to the doctors. I haven't heard from him since. I'm really hurt and don't know what to do, or why he is responding this way. Maybe some of you can shed some light. Since I can't reach him, and he hasn't called, I e-mailed him to let him know the deal. He still has not responded."

We have spoke since...needless to say, we are not together anymore. Many other things have happened since then...I'm afraid of the doctor's bills. Not once did he show concern...if anything...that's why I was hurt.

Wow...guess I scared you off. It was nice chatting w/ you.

that's the one!

and you still think about him? truthseeker, that can only be your heart, the head's probably having phantasies about killing him!
now sorry to say that, but his a jerk! you should find out why you're still emotionally attached—? and stop it! what did he give to you, that another couldn't? why do you think you wouldn't meet another one who has the qualities you want so much, but wouldn't hurt you at the same time?

you know when i asked you: how can a person feel wanted and truly loved by you?
how do you show a person that you care?

when i wrote about the surrender business, that was really hard for me because my first impression of you was coldcoldcold. saying all the right things but where's the heart to back it up? so i had to jump into the cold water to find out which was scary, didn't know how you'd reakt to me showing weakness... see what i mean... maybe other see you that way and are affraid of you, because they think you only function rationally. i'm not refering to this aries guy though, fukc him!
truthseeker, you have a good heart... of course you can't and you shouldn't show your true emotions to any stranger, but it's neither holding back everything nor giving away everything straight away, something in between. that's the balance i was talking about.

sorry! i'm programming a song right now. that's keeping me a bit 😢

didn't scare me off, and that wasn't a little taste of venom.

aw come on truthseeker, is that all patience you've got?

That's the impression I give off...coldcoldcold...More like reserved. But the thing is, I have no problem being open. In fact I want to be as open w/ my feelings and straightforward as possible. That's why I liked this guy, there was no fear of communication. This brings me back to your quesion, "are you ready for human failure?" No, at least I wasn't ready for this reality check, but I want to be able to "forgive, like things never happened." The fact that we never sat down and dug to the bottom of this, bothers me. I'm still a little hurt by it all, but I feel a lot stronger, you know, more confident in my worth. I just want to tell him, it's cool...let's move on. But...I guess I need to let go of the thought of him in order to move on.

hahaha...fooled ya!

Here is the thing about men, that bothers me. I've been told that guys are intimidated by me. I don't know why that is. But take you, for example. You were hesitant to surrender, and when you did...you fell in love! Why can't men just plunge in...girls do it all the time.

wow, that's awsome, he let you down and showed you how much he cares, i.e. not at all!
and you just want to tell him, it's cool...let's move on, as in lets get back together—?? it's healthy to forgive him, but to take him back when he let you down in such a horrible situation, and he even caused the mess in the first place!!!!

hahaha...fooled ya!

Here is the thing about men, that bothers me. I've been told that guys are intimidated by me. I don't know why that is. But take you, for example. You were hesitant to surrender, and when you did...you fell in love! Why can't men just plunge in...girls do it all the time.

there just isn't a lot of girls that interest me in that way... ups i wanted to say no comment!

did you plan the whole thing?

No, I don't want to get back together with him. Let's move on, meaning let's be friends. I guess I have this crazy idea that we could influence each other to be better. I guess I'm still holding on to the "his potential." I have admitted to myself that he his an asshole...just can't accept it.

Of course not...one should never go through planning on love...it kills the excitement!

Life, sorry...one should never go through life planning on love

one thing that really attracted me: the way i was reacting to you.
absolutely spontaneously, used the head only to try and be original, i.e. not to think of what to say, only how to say it! what to say came just naturally, except for the part where i had to jump over my fear. but that was just easy for a scorp like me, hehehe?.... i even thought/felt that what i wrote was the only thing possible to say in that moment, absolutely no doubt about it. and this is very strange for me. in tricky situations like our conversation i usually have a strategy...

OH...I get, so YOU are planning the whole thing!

I meant to say "I get IT" This is the reaction you have on me. My thoughts come to mind faster than I can type them...which expains why I forget to type...words...hahahaha. But imagine if we ever met in person...do you think the conversation would flow as such?

BTW, I'm pretty good looking...I have a confession. As a character in my fairytale, you were single (hehehe)

very similar!

from my side at least!

but that's a thought that ran through my head too, and you cought it

you're good looking. that might have intimidated me though.

if we ever met in person i mean

Well, most likely we will never meet...so we can continue to blow each other's socks off, via DXPnet.

if i like you i will show it, face to face not different!!!

hahaha...