Help me. Pisces man giving mixed signals. Help :-(

This is my first ever post so I would really appreciate some advice.
So I met a pisces man in September (I'm cancer) things were better then great, he was very very keen, told me I'm his ideal woman, could feel something special between us etc. I started liking him back and things were wonderful. Neither of us had experienced anything like this...! He had his heart broken about 10 months ago and was struggling with that but it didn't seem an issue until last month he told me " he couldn't do this anymore, he is too damaged and he doesn't no what to do as he knows ending it with me will hurt him" I left him alone for a week then just text to see how he was and he replied straight away and then called me that evening to tell me, his feelings hadn't gone for me, and he didn't want to end it but he has some serious issues going on with family, work and his ex so he couldn't think about anyone else! For New Years I surprised him by turning up at his fishing lake to say happy new year and he seemed pleased to see me, then he text when I left saying " you are doing a fine job in making me realize my decision was flawed" and lots of other nice things like, "you are quite a woman" you have such an edge" but since then...nothing! I want this man soooo much but have said I'm willing to just be his friend...what do I do? Should I contact him again? Is he just not into me or is he just confused! Please help me 😢
Thank you for reading :-)
Lynda

I had a detailed response all typed out telling you how you're being manipulated ... then decided, fuck it.


It's obvious in what you wrote .... if you're that stupid that you can't see it for yourself, then why should I bother with you?

Step away ... grow some maturity ... have some life experiences .... then maybe you'll be able to see past your desperation in wanting to be wanted, that you'll be able to spot the player without having to be told.


There are red flags all over your post ..... and no doubt, you aren't aware enough to see any because you have the fantasy of a relationship running around your head, and have chosen him to play the male role.


When you mature, hopefully, you'll be able to recognize this on your own without having to be told.




:::: shakes head ::::

Thank you for you reply but to be honest I don't see any reg flags in my above statement! He was the one who was over keen to begin with and I wasn't so sure. And still now he is always saying nice things! He is not a player, far that I know for sure. In relation to me not being mature enough...I'm in my late 20's and have has a lot of life experience including having a child, so I would say my maturity level is higher then most of my age! I'm also not desperate, but when I see/hear the things he is telling me its hard to turn away just because he is "not ready" I only wanted to hear from maybe a pisces man or someone who has had experience with them to tell me if I should persue him to show him I care or leve him alone!

Leave him alone. Let him sort out his stuff. If you don't want friendship... than don't agree to it and hope for more. It will backfire on you.

chasing=needy=immature

Why do you want a guy who "says" he doesn't want you? ....even if it's not "yet"

He said that^^^^^. You can't pick and choose the things you want to believe.

I think showing up and surprising him on NYE uninvited shows you care. Anything more than that is... *cough* desperate.

Thank you for your reply. The reason I don't want to give up is because he is very down at the moment (family/money issues) which he has told me about as he is getting very depressed because of them. I would happily leave him be and I have told him that of he does want me to leave him alone for good then I will but he said he can't say that! Like I said above, he admitted that "his desixion was flawed" meaning ending it with me was flawed so I know he does still care. And when we were together New Years I could tell he was very nervous still around me. I certainly do not want to come across desperate (as I'm not) I just care for him lots and know at some point we would be great together, when he sorts his issues out!
Also...are you pisces?

You are only looking for someone to confirm the decision(s) you have already made. You are also picking and choosing WHO you will listen too.

good luck with that...

I am willing to listen to anyone, even if that is not what I want to do in my heart, I will try if you guys think that's what's right. He has never said he doesn't want to be with me (just for the record) he said "I don't no what to do, I'm so damaged at the moment. You are in a much better place then me and I know ending it will be detrimental to me but what else can I do" and then "I didn't want to end it with you but I can't think about myself let alone another persons feelings" the above is way I'm finding it hard to let go...but if I should, then i will!

What do you mean by doing me a favor? I will leave him be as I'm not deprecate and wouldn't want to come across as such! I will still be there for him if he needs me and may send the odd text to see how he is as I know pisces men need that sometimes. Thank you for your comments and honesty.

Desperate...

He doesn't sound like he's ready nor right for you.

Your situation sounds sooo familiar to mine!! My ex says that he doesn't need to be in a relationship right now and just needs to be alone. They both have money/family issues in common, so I can probably tell you how this situation will end. You just have to let him work his issues out and if he is ready/he wants to work things out woth you he will be back. You are in your late 20's as I am 26, we are too young to sit around and wait. Just worry about yourself and if it's meant to be it will happen!!! Hope I helped.

He's not done with his ex...Pisces loves love and if we connect with another we usually go for it..I promise you he and his ex are still involved some kind of way. I would stop contact with him and go on with my life...A Pisces man that is inlove into a woman never has to wonder..

Lynda, I'm a pisces man dating an absolutely lovely cancer woman. With the right people, it can be one of the most harmonious relationships in the zodiac. I can't comment too much on your particular situation because I don't know the whole story, but sometimes, pisces dudes can get a little freaked out by things being too perfect and try and swim away. We can be escapists...especially if he's been burned bad before after thinking something was perfect, he's going to look for any way out. The problem is, he likely doesn't realize this escapist trait in himself, and that could be a problem for you, especially since he may get upset with you, and feel as though you are invalidating his feelings if you try and make him aware of it. Honestly, if he says he needs space, he's either lying, or does not want to be with you. If he's lying, he's trying to get some proof that you're really dedicated to him (by you not giving him space), which isn't fair to you, and I would advise against validating that, but I know you cancer gals...always the caretaker, which is nice when it's reciprocated, and he likely will, for a while. But he will also likely take you round and round this catch and release game until he either becomes aware of what he's doing, and how it's unfair to you, or you get sick of it. Honest communication is the key here, but that's always a fine line with a pisces...you have to be honest, and very sensitive...which I know cancer ladies are quite good at...well, the sensitive part, communication comes later after you shed that tough shell of yours.

Not really advice, but I hope it helped.

Ashleyluvbballs- are we talking about the same man— Haha I really hope not :-/ it is very frustrating isn't it, when you know if they were in the right frame of mind, it would be perfect 😢 thank you for your words, I am going to be strong and leave him be. Although I left something round his when we last saw each other and he phoned last night to say he will bring it over and would like to take me for dinner as a thank you for being there for him...this is a good sign surly?
Striking - I can see how you could have come to that conclusion by what I wrote in my initial post...but I can safely say he cannot stand her! He was very hurt when she ended it and was struggling but whilst we were seeing each other he found out (by a mutual friend) she also cheated...that's when he ended it as he then also didn't trust women! I know there is nothing between them, I have always told him to be honest which he has done from the beginning! Even though it hurt sometimes!
Serafin - awww I'm so glad you have found a good match for you, it really is a great match when in the right time for both parties! We have such a connection when we are near each other that it kind of freaks me out, but I also love it :-) when we first met he did say..."I thought you were way out of my league" you're perfect, I have found a good one here" I'm a lucky boy etc etc...so maybe he was a bit freaked out...as I can feel his feelings for me when we are together, so I know it's not that! He is suffering with anxiety attacks because of all the rubbish he had going on, so I know he is seriously messed up at the moment. Anyway I'm blabbering now! I will meet him next week, tell him I'm here for him but do you think I should ask if he wants me to wait (not for years obviously) or should I move on and solely be his friend— Thank you all so much for your advice :-)

Hi Lynda. It's good to see you're getting some positive advice and a clearer picture is being painted over time.
Take your time and enjoy this journey. Even if it doesn't fit your immediate needs and desires, you may find this person to be a great friend and confidant. The fact that both of you have a connection either via text, phone or face to face, it is positive. I sent you a link in your message box for an interesting read.

@the ocean within can you message me the article that you sent lynda please.

I hope what I am going to say is good advice also......Just make sure (for now at least) to not let him define your happiness.......go out and have fun. Do things that you like to do...... don't sit and think and over analyze things all the time (like me the Virgo). LOL. I decided things with the Pisces I am talking to is either going to be 50/50 or nothing......He is not going to keep coming back around, like he always does, and "stick it in a little further and twist it" so I am taken in once again by him.........Amazing.... Now I have to fulfill what I just said.....just got a text once again after a few days of nada...... WHY DO YOU PISCES HAVE TO BE SO HARD!!!!!!!! lol. (venting). Welp, off I go to answer his text.....

Posted by ashleyluvsbball
@the ocean within can you message me the article that you sent lynda please.

In your P.M.

Aww, yad035 - poor you, you have also been placed under the spell of a pisces! I don't no what it is about them but whoa! Can't just let go! I am doing my best to go out and have fun (I did In last night infact) and although I got chatted up a few times...I'm just not interested 😢 wish I was though! I will see him next week, so if I'm brave enough I will ask him if he wants me to move on, I he says yes then I'm done and will do without feeling like I should wait!
Thank you to all of you for your honesty and help. Greatly appreciated :-)

The ocean within - thank you for your kind words. I will have a read of what you messaged me. Thank you

@Lynda-Move on before this situation progresses. He is not over the relationship of his Ex. He might be over her but, there is something from their pairing which he is still holding onto. Regardless of what it is, you deserve more than be a second stringer.

I do agree with you, he is certainly not over the hurt and maybe more. Just such a shame as there was something seriously amazing there (which he felt also) wrong time for him though! 😢

Posted by Lynda25
I do agree with you, he is certainly not over the hurt and maybe more. Just such a shame as there was something seriously amazing there (which he felt also) wrong time for him though! 😢

Something better is headed your way. 🙂

Awww you lovely person. Thank you :-)

Thank you for your reply, and I understand a lot of what you are saying but in relation to spending New Years with me...I have only known him a few months, dated for 6 weeks, so to be honest I would have found it strange if he wanted to be with me for New Years! I already had plans anyway (I only popped up for half hour during the day to wish him a happy new year) and then went on with my evening. He has never celebrated new year, even with his ex, he has always gone fishing on his own (overrated In his words) Likr I have said up the previous people, I will leave him be but I wil also make it clear I'm here as a friend if he needs me as he finds it easy to talk to me and share his issues!

Hi,

I am not a pisces, but I have met quite a few guys to understand when a guy is not interested.

1. If a man has issues and he doesn't want to talk, just leave him alone. If he likes you, he will come to you no matter what. If not, then he is not interested in you.
2. You surprised him by meeting him for 30 mins on a New year, this shows you care & if he takes it the other way round, then either he is venting out something else on you or again, he is not interested & looking for a reason to break apart.

Either ways do you want to be with such a guy. & if you really like a guy to have a relationship with him, do you really think you can be his friend & see him go out with other girls in future.

Best solution is to move on. You are in your late 20's you will surely find someone & may be someone who is more matured enough to care about you. It does take time to find someone as well. So if he comes around then you can evaluate your feelings then and see if you wish to go ahead with him.

Thank you for your advice :-) I was going to share an update to my post, so maybe you may be able to help me with understanding this. So...he was coming round to give me what I left round his house and he suggested we go for dinner. Everything was great, no awkwardness, friendly banter etc and then he started talking about us. He said he is getting his life on track, he is not drinking (as this makes him more down) and has sorted some of his issues he had. He said that if he was to go with his gut feeling at that time (now) he would start seeing me again but he is worried that if in a couple of weeks he realises he was not ready/feels down again he will have to hurt me again which he doesn't want to do (and niether do I) He also said he should snatch me up before anyone else does because I'm amazing...then he said "when I feel like my life is stable enough and I'm ready, you are the one I want" "I know I can't expect you to wait as it could be 2 months or 6 months" to which I replied, although I like you a lot, I can't wait as it will just drain me! I said about remaining friends and was concerned because of "our" feelings for each other but I said, we managed it tonight and it went very well, to which he agreed on. I also stated I didn't want to bother him, so if he wants me to leave and not contact him, I will do that! But he said "no, I love hearing from you, your texts always put a smile on my face, I love hearing from you" I don't want you to go anywhere" so any insight on this? I can tell when we are together that he gets nervous around me, which I was also but we are able to stare at each others eyes for an amazing long time, and it doesn't feel awkward. Could he just be saying these things to keep from hurting me? Or do you think he means them? And question for pisces...are you more likly to forget someone if they leave you alone or think about them more? Thank you

Oh and in relation to New Years...he said "that is the most amazing thing anyone has every done for me, I don't know anyone who would do that for someone" "you're doing a fine job of making me realise my decision was flawed" and he told all his friends and even his mum...they of course ha mixed reactions. Some thought it was a bit stalker like but he assured them it was to cheer him up and show that I care.

His stringing you along cause he knows he can...It`s better to let him be and stop pushing a relationship cause that is what YOU want. If he wants you he would make it clear.

wow... some of the ladies be HATING in this thread!

always telling women to 'move on'... 'you can do better'...

I don't see any of the Fish saying that...

I wonder if the other ladies were 'unsuccessful' with Pisces in the past... and would like to spread that around

hmmmmm...

Shellshocker- you do make me laugh :-) I have thought the same thing as a few people who have commented have written "if he says he doesn't want to be with you" or "he is not interested" which he has NEVER said and I never wrote. He said he is not ready due to issues. Maybe he is just saying it to not hurt me but I don't know this just like all the other people don't, so why jump to that conclusion. Would be nice to hear from a pisces man

I am not seeing any hate in this thread. Just straight talk about not wasting your time on someone whom is not ready for anything serious. It's disrespectful to hover, hope, and pressure someone whom is not ready for a relationship. I am not saying that Lynda is doing that. But, just as a general rule. You want to be his friend with no expectations of an outcome that is one thing. If you want to sit around pining for him that it is something completely different.

Posted by firewaterearthpiscesvenus
I am not seeing any hate in this thread. Just straight talk about not wasting your time on someone whom is not ready for anything serious. It's disrespectful to hover, hope, and pressure someone whom is not ready for a relationship.

I think you project your own self... in every thread you comment on. You are way caught up in your own feelings and opinion... and your opinion is founded in your past actions in relationships. Ok, maybe you have changed your ways and 'seen the light'. Maybe you have found a position that works for you... with an Aquarius. But we are not talking about a relationship between an Aquarius and an Aries. So your generic advice is exactly that... generic.

Not everyone is like you, ya know?

opinions are like assholes firewaterblahblahblah... but you don't have to keep sticking yours, and the same one for that matter, in people's faces. They eventually start smelling shit 🙂

-don't wait for a man
-don't waste your time
-move on
-save your pride and dignity
-live for your ego

we hear you already...

@Shellshocker,

-don't wait for a man
"Waiting" for men has a tendency to make women very crazy and very bitter. Why wait? Get to know him and live your life in the mean time. How is that generic?

-don't waste your time
Life is too short to waste time "waiting" for someone whom isn't on the same relationship page that you are.

-move on
Again, staying stuck in a past relationship or in a non-relationship just creates a festering bitterness.

-save your pride and dignity
Pride can be a double-edged sword. However, there is always a place at the table for dignity.

-live for your ego
Nope. I disagree with this assertion. However, you do have a right to your opinion.

Just for the record, I have dated Pisces men. Some were tranquil fish and some were sharks. 😉

@shell shocker- I don't feel like my past relationships with Pisces were "unsuccessful" per se. Those men taught me A LOT about myself and life in general. The difference is that I was mature enough to realize that they were meant to be life lessons and not life partners. I didn't get attached to an outcome with said Pisces. If you would like to continue attacking my point-of-view...that is your decision. However, you may want to ask yourself how "helpful" your advice to others has truly been. Good day!

This thread was not made to cause issues between people's opinions. I am greatful for everyone's opinions but everyone has come to the assumption that I am chasing and annoying the hell out of this Pisces which couldn't be further from the truth. Being a cancer (as some of you will know) we like to help, and don't like seeing people in pain. I know I feel more then friendship for him but being as caring as I am, I want to help him in which ever way I can. I'm not trying to convince him to get with me and he knows this. When he took me for dinner last week, I did tell him I would leave him alone if that's what he wanted but he said he doesn't want that...so I'm not going against his wishes. He also stated when he is ready, its me who wants to be with, but I made it clear that although I want to wait, it's just not healthy for me! To which he agreed on. I think shellshocker is only sticking up for the fact that she can see I'm not chasing him or trying to make him want me, I'm being his friend. I have had people on here say..."he is being unfaithful" " he doesn't want you" " he is not interested" move on etc etc...and if he wanted that I would but he doesn't so I won't!

Lenore0809, thank you for your comment and I totally agree with you. I made it clear that I would never want him to see me again just because he felt sorry for me...because he said "I should just snatch you up before anyone else does" and I know how much you want this" I would never EVER pressure him or make him feel bad. I just care for him, and don't like seeing him in pain due to the stress he has going on. I am leaving him alone, just the odd yet now and then so he knows I am here for him, to which he also replies, but I'm not taking it past that unless he asks.

Lenore0809, thank you for your comment and I totally agree with you. I made it clear that I would never want him to see me again just because he felt sorry for me...because he said "I should just snatch you up before anyone else does" and I know how much you want this" I would never EVER pressure him or make him feel bad. I just care for him, and don't like seeing him in pain due to the stress he has going on. I am leaving him alone, just the odd yet now and then so he knows I am here for him, to which he also replies, but I'm not taking it past that unless he asks.