He's provoking & irritating me.....

I am a cancer and I am deeply in love with a pisces male.

We've been together for nearly 2 years. There is a connection that we both share that is hard to break. I feel like he's my soul mate and he has said this to me also....

The problem arises in our relationship because he irritates me & provokes me and i. Lose my temper & we get into arguements and then he blames me. And then turns around and says he knows he provoked me. This has become a cycle with us. I've even hit him in the heat of these arguements.

I've watched him purposely irritate others in my presence. He tries to con people and when they don't go for it he makes it a confrontation and afterwards he laughs about the whole thing...

Is this a pisces thing or a character trait? At this point I'm prepared to walk away before I seriously hurt him.

" WELCOME to the "wonderful" world of pisces and their need of drama and mind games."

I see you've got your share😛

Perhaps you see it as something bad...

Well, it's actually not anything bad. If you take it as a humour, you wont take it as bad. This kind of humour is strong. Energy relasing and life giving.

Surely not every person can handle this right away. But in time, most of them do leard it. Even Virgo's.

I see it as sick.

And in his case it has gotten him into trouble with the law. So he's pressing his luck and taking it to the next level.

And it feels like he's taking my love for granted. We just came back off of a vacation and he pushed my buttons the entire time and although we reconciled after each incident I came back feeling drained emotionally.

Shaka I see you've dealt with a pisces before...

What about the self righteousness?....as in someone can compliment him and I will never hear the last of it. I'm tired of hearing how he's so different from everybody else and how he can walk on water.etc...

Shaka2

Bullshit. I know alot of Aquas who accept this kind of treatment with great interest and enjoyment. At the end, it's about a person who can understand this and see the positive side not about the behaviour itself. It's take it or leave it.

Shoregirl

Seriously, what you expect him to be?

As for astrology part, no matter what they say, Cancer and Pisces in practice are never compatible. None I have seen so far are successful. Get out.

Haffo,

I think I'm just gonna leave. Maybe its just a cancer thing but I just can't deal with someone that claims they love me but gets pleasure out of my pain and frustrations.

Good for you. For some people it's pain and frusturation, for others it's source of energy and enjoyment of life.

Shaka2

If person does not see the real intention (and there are others who do) I can give them rats ass. Simple as that.

The funny thing is....he dishes it out but can't take it. As soon as I mirror his actions he wants to sulk and cry (more manipulation maybe).

Depends on how you mirror it. If you really mean it, then you can be hurtful.

If you do not, then not.

Haffo,

Seriously, without using your sign as a crutch. I just want to know are you serious? Logically speaking do you not understand? Or are you just aiming to provoke and irritate?

Maybe there's a difference in males and females. My mother is pisces and even she gets it.

Anyway,

I'm out. What I can say about you two; you two appear to be extremly dull people. I have nothing in common with you.

Bye.

It's not about avoiding confrontation. I just do not try to change people. If they don't get it, then they dont. Next!

You are free to belive whatever you want Shaka2. As I said, I can give rats ass for that.

Wowzer....

Lol@shaka...you read him like a book. So predictable.

Hi Shoregirl,
This is 'absolutely' a character trait, not about sign. i have known enough Pisces male & female and this is NOT standard, and not out of a book on fish..LOL* *It's simple, no matter the sign; there is simply going to be good and bad out there in the world; the irritating, the incompatible, the very immature. Have a serious talk with him; tell him what your limits and expectations are; long-term and short-term, tell him you mean business, and that you won't be with him in public or around other people, until if and when he does get it. ..'for the most part, it really does sound like a maturity issue, he has alot of growing up to do...*Just remember it's NOT about sign, there are SCORES of great fish out there, as there are of ANY sign.. *at any rate, i wish you luck..

i can totally relate to what you are going through! he sounds quite immature and doesnt really understand what a real relationship is!we all want to be in a relationship to make our lives happier otherwise what is the point?

i ve also tried everything to make him understand that type of behaviour might be playful and fun for him but those stupid mind games making me miserable!
more i tried more he resisted!
in the end i gave up end told him never to contact again in fact just forget i exist!
no amount of talking will work unless he really wants to do something himself!

after few months of no contact he came back saying he understands what a jerk he had been he didnt mean to hurt me etc.
well they do like drama and it took something dramatic to make him understand and feel the pain he put me through.

then again i can also see what haffo means

" Bullbutter. I know alot of Aquas who accept this kind of treatment with great interest and enjoyment. At the end, it's about a person who can understand this and see the positive side not about the behaviour itself. It's take it or leave it."

i have this aqua friend and her bf was a similar pisces as mentioned here she didnt seem to have a problem with it at all! but she isnt as emotional as a cancer or scorpio can be!so it was all fun for a while!
last time i saw her she said she dumped the pisces!?!?
she had enough of him talking out of his ass -eventhough she doesnt do emotions and she wasnt hurt or frustrated - he just wasnt appealing intellectually to her with all those stupid games anymore!

Message posted by: shoregirl on 3/1/2007 3:59:02 PM
I am a cancer and I am deeply in love with a pisces male ..
.. I feel like he's my soul mate and he has said this to me also....
.. I've even hit him in the heat of these arguements ..
.. I'm prepared to walk away before I seriously hurt him.

Oddly enough, people find fault and blame for partners actions without holding themselves accountable for any wrong-doing .. in the theory of maturity, it matters not who is the provoker .. for if the non-initiator participates, then they are just as guilty in the perpetuation of the drama.

Perhaps this man has irritated, like you said, and in your eyes, this is wrong.

Is it wrong in your eyes to lay violent hands on someone as well?

Just for the record, to physically put violent hands on another because anger is uncontrolled, I see as sick. So sickness comes in more forms than just your perception of it, or Shaka's ..

from where I'm standing, if someone condones physically violating me .. they deserve a fucking head game. I'm not gonna put violent hands on another, but, if you do me .. I'm gonna get ya, verbally .. dumbass people.

Provocation comes in many forms .. maybe your redneck attitude of saying such things as, "before I seriously hurt him", caused him to fuck with your head, lol. It's possible that you were the creator of this in the first place because he sensed that your way of handling things was through violence ..

.. fyi .. if your gonna try to date a Pisces, wisen up .. if you're oblivious to your own self .. then your not smart enough, nor aware enough for us and if you have this kind of weakness in you .. then you'll think you're being played when in reality, you're being called out because you fucked up, lol

You know verbally irritating somebody and then laughing about it, doesn't sound much like a legal issue, so I wonder about the following comment: "And in his case it has gotten him into trouble with the law."

Makes me think that YOU are the one who has called the law on him, if so, it would suggest that he has indeed hit you back, since by your own admission you have hit him for being verbal in a fashion in which you don't approve, which means, you hit him first, he hit you back and then you call the law on him for defending himself against you. For, if another person called the law on him for verbally irritating them, the cops would likely laugh, too. Yet, if a woman called the cops and said a man hit her, they would take that much more seriously .. yet, you admitted that you hit him with the justification that he provoked you verbally .. sick bitch.

You know, Cancer's take everything to heart .. even when somebody is joking with them, they get their little feelings hurt.

After nearly two years, you still haven't got him figured out?
Sounds like you have a bigger problem than your man being an ass once in a while.
How's that insight going? That awareness of what's motivating another person?
Two years and you STILL don't know?

lol

wow shoregirl - its true my bf's had psices moon and he can dish it out but man they can't take it!! and it pisses me off because it's not fair - i'm cancer sun

seems like what's good for him to do and say is a crime if i do and say the same things - man girl i don't know waht to say - i think pisces are fickle and don't know what the F they want sometimes - my dad is pisces but he has alot of aries in his charts so it seems like his aries is in control most of the time - my bf has pisces moon and it's frustrating how he can say one thing then do another - they're hypocrites

Cancer12 .. your boyfriend is an Aries .. omg .. you know you didn't just insinuate that what's wrong with your partner is because of the Piscean nature ..

Your Aries boyfriend pisses you off because Pisces are fickle?

Repeat after me:

My boyfriend is NOT a Pisces .. My boyfriend is NOT a Pisces

P angel - my bf's sun sign is aries and i'm aware that it is not ONLY the sun sign that tells about someone - my bf also has pisces in his chart

i'm not tryin to be mean but i feel his moon sign also has an effect

Cancer12, he is all Aries, according to what you wrote on the Aries board about him. People spend a gross amount of time, trying to figure out what is wrong with their partner, when 99% of the time .. the problem lies within the self.

Take a look at yourself and your own actions .. for the only person you can change is yourself. Your boyfriend starting to not take your relationship seriously has to do with you not letting him feel for himself and has nothing to do with his moon in Pisces. In fact, a Pisces would be more sympathetic and understanding about your demands, than the Aries .. so, in reality, your boyfriends' moon plays very little in your relationship with him, according to what you wrote on the Aries board.

Anyway, whatever assessments and adjustments have to be made within your relationship, I hope it works out for both parties to find some kind of happiness.

P-angel,

Ill be the first to admit that I have a temper that I am working on. I will say that my pisces does know how to push my buttons and he is the first and only person that I've physically acted out on.

Its frightening to me, which is was the main red flag. I act out in violence and feel terrible afterwards. I take responsibility for my actions. I know which behavior from him sends me over the top so I asked him to stop that behavior or I will leave because I just cant deal like this. Not that I'm blaming him, I just look at it like a person in AA should not go into bars. Is it the actual bar's fault if the person has a relapse-of course not. If that person knows they can't handle being around the drinking...they should not even expose themselves to the stimulus. This is what was meant by "before I seriously hurt him".

No I have never called the police on him. That comes from him trying to find shortcuts and con people. And even if he succeeds in the shortcut something makes him return to the scene of the crime to irritate. He's gotten caught when he could've gotten away.

P-angel,

Ill be the first to admit that I have a temper that I am working on. I will say that my pisces does know how to push my buttons and he is the first and only person that I've physically acted out on.

Its frightening to me, which is was the main red flag. I act out in violence and feel terrible afterwards. I take responsibility for my actions. I know which behavior from him sends me over the top so I asked him to stop that behavior or I will leave because I just cant deal like this. Not that I'm blaming him, I just look at it like a person in AA should not go into bars. Is it the actual bar's fault if the person has a relapse-of course not. If that person knows they can't handle being around the drinking...they should not even expose themselves to the stimulus. This is what was meant by "before I seriously hurt him".

No I have never called the police on him. That comes from him trying to find shortcuts and con people. And even if he succeeds in the shortcut something makes him return to the scene of the crime to irritate. He's gotten caught when he could've gotten away.

P-angel,

Ill be the first to admit that I have a temper that I am working on. I will say that my pisces does know how to push my buttons and he is the first and only person that I've physically acted out on.

Its frightening to me, which is was the main red flag. I act out in violence and feel terrible afterwards. I take responsibility for my actions. I know which behavior from him sends me over the top so I asked him to stop that behavior or I will leave because I just cant deal like this. Not that I'm blaming him, I just look at it like a person in AA should not go into bars. Is it the actual bar's fault if the person has a relapse-of course not. If that person knows they can't handle being around the drinking...they should not even expose themselves to the stimulus. This is what was meant by "before I seriously hurt him".

No I have never called the police on him. That comes from him trying to find shortcuts and con people. And even if he succeeds in the shortcut something makes him return to the scene of the crime to irritate. He's gotten caught when he could've gotten away.

"any relation that causes you to repeatedly lose control of your actions is not good for you... just step away regardless of his or your sign"

well said, archer

even once is too much.

"I think I'm just gonna leave. Maybe its just a cancer thing but I just can't deal with someone that claims they love me but gets pleasure out of my pain and frustrations."

Please do .. I'm sure he feels that same way about you .. most Pisceans do about Cancers. The way you crabs love cause us pain .. so leaving would be best.

It's rare that Pisces find a lasting relationship with a Cancer.

Good Luck with finding the right person for you in the future.

Ive found one P-Angel so what do you say to that😉?

Also I want to say I'm glad you are still coming to the boards🙂