Pisces men....so confusing!

Pisces men stump me the most of all, of all signs. They give mixed signals and I can't tell for the life of me if they are interested or bored, because they seem to switch. Am I generalizing?

One popped into my life after meeting me 6 years ago, seeming all interested, even said he was excited to talk to me, then after we get together a couple of times, he disappears. Another one before him acted like he just wanted to hang out which I took as being just friends... And out of the blue one evening held my hand and kissed it! I was in complete shock, never saw it coming. I never saw him in that way so now we are just good platonic friends (he moved on, thankfully). NO WARNING, I tell ya, these guys have their own rhythm and they march to their own drumbeat. They don't fall neatly in my Virgo plan of dating whatsoever. I have moon in Pisces so I share their sensitivity to beauty and emotions, but just when you think you as a Virgo have them figured out, which Virgos love to do, they defy all explanation.

None of my friends who are Scorpios and Geminis can figure them out either! Any offer of clarification is appreciated. I do admire the Pisces men's beautiful gentle souls, however, despite confusing this Virgal here.

Nights22,

No we didn't hook up. Our conversations were very intense and could have lasted forever. We skipped the mundane and went for the deep. We had two dates in a resaturant where we found out we had a bunch of things in common. Not random things like we both drink tea or love hiking, but a lot of specific, rarified things in common that i don't have with any guy I have met. I would have settled for being just a platonic friend if he didn't feel chemistry with me. I loved talking to him and would've kept him as a phone pal.

It wasn't like I was a complete stranger. We already met before, though many yrs ago....i tend to over analyze so it could be that it was just something he wanted to do that popped into his head, "Hey, let me find out where Virgospirit is after all these treetrunkin' yrs and see if she might be somebody I could be interested in." Then... "Oops, guess not.".

That's how that felt. And silly me was all swept away by him...you know when Virgos fall, we fall HARD.

When I first met him, he was very quiet and hardly spoke. I think he said one word to me the whole night at this social gathering. He didnt even look at me. So why search for me 6yrs later and ask me out?! Only to let me give me a strong dose of his fascinating self and i'm left wondering wtf happened. I refuse to initiate contact again because I already did for the 2nd date, and that's as far as any self-respecting Virgo girl is gonna do. I know, i know, we have a lot of pride. But he knows I like him.. Guess I was feeling it and not him. My ego hates that.

Ohhh, Nights22 your avi reminds me of a watercolor from one of my favs Leon Bonvin. Nice!

Sounds to me like these guys just wanted to hang out, get to know you ... nothing more.

sounds like your silly head has to try to make it more.

Posted by Virgospirit

They don't fall neatly in my Virgo plan of dating whatsoever.

And here lies the culprit to you trying to make something out of nothing. You have a plan, and in this plan you attempt to fit a person into it .. like an object.

I'd wager that the moment the guy felt objectified (which is what the quotes describes) ... he moved on away from your shallow waters and into the depth, where the good people live.

ElusiveSoull: I am glad to know those traits are not as endemic in females. I appreciate your kind input. Acquaintances seems to be exactly where these Pisces men belong unless they have other elements to balance them out.

88Pisces: You seem to be right about that, thanks for your perspective. It suspected that was what he as doing and you just confirmed it.

PAngel: Your input was not helpful, in fact as usuall, filled with hatred. People come here to reveal problems and issues and vulnerabilities and you pounce on them like a bully and insult them. You do this everywhere and this just exposes the anger inside you. I hope you can find it somewhere in yourself to find that love in you all humans have. Not everyone is your enemy or wants to be. The world doesn't have to be a battle place. Why spread hate and bitterness. Hope you can recover from whatever that plagues you that you are unleashing on this board.

Nights22:

You are right. Sigh. It was disappointing! But I am glad to hear this is just how it is. It is hard to be a Virgo sometimes when it is my own mind I am fighting more than anything else. The over thinking of something simple and obvious which requires people like you and others to point out. I am glad to end my endless speculation!

A few weeks. I wasn't lonely or even looking. In fact, I was definitely not looking, just doing my own thing. I actually let him do a lot of the talking because first, I never heard him talk much before, and second, I was fascinated with the fact that what he said resonated with me so much.

But I was too focused on my own interest level and not his. He was obviously looking for something else and I didn't have it. I accept now also that he may not want friendship at this
point either (just a vibe I got from him) because he may not want to lead me on as that would be a messy friendship. I thought of ringing him up and just tell him how rare it is I get to meet a person who could talk about all those things and that i wouldn't mind being friends, but I just feel he may even be uncomfortable with that. We have mutual friends and there is a possibility of running into him again and i don't want to put him in the position of having to decline me, or agree to be friends reluctantly. He seems not only sensitive but highly independent and goes after what he wants. He stands out in a crowd because he is so unlike the crowd -- quiet, unobtrusive, observing, totally in his own world and unruffled.

I have reconciled my Virgo mind and heart to align and agree to leave him alone. I know people who know him and I could ask them about him but what is the point and also I wouldnt want anything to get back to him that I was doing that. So I am just keeping my mouth shut and talking here instead!

Thanks for the encouragement, ElusiveSoull! i am glad I am not alone!

It's not just him, it's every man you decide to try and fit into your mold of your established plan.

If you can't handle hearing the truth, and have to soley rely on eloquent words to fill your empty void, then sobeit ... the truth speaks for itself. If you chose to call it anger simply because you can't handle the truth, isn't really my problem, it's your problem.

You have formed a plan on the terms of dating, which doesn't include the humanity of the other person ... just as you've described it. If the person doesn't fit within the box you built, then you're left confused when the person is theirselves and isn't performing for you according to your plan.


That makes you the problem .. and it will be for every relationship you attempt to mold inside of your box.


If that isn't helpful to you because you can't handle it ... then suffer as you wish.

Nights22:

Thanks for pointing out earlier that my Pisces friend (the other Pisces guy) was only testing the waters with me. I didn't know that you fishies do that! I'm used to men who are very direct in how they feel, and they do the pursuing.

Anyway, when the "testing" happened, twice, I completely ignored it and clammed up, pretended nothing happened. I think I hurt him but later on when we became comfortable as friends, I tried to apologize but he didn't want to talk about it whatsoever. He calls me now and then and we talk...lately he has been struggling with a lot of issues and he knows I'm there for him.

PAngel:

I don't disagree with you about the futility of trying to fit people into my dating plan. I know it isn't working. That is a battle like I said before I have and I admit. And I am dealing with it and hoping to change this as it is a burden on myself.

I AM handling the truth. I am also handling anyone who delivers advice, albeit helpful, in a disrespectful way. Much easier to sling mean-spirited barbs than share one's problems and weaknesses, which takes courage and willingness to improve. The low road is easy to fall on, the high road one must aim and reach for.

As for the empty void, we all have that. We either fill it with other people or with self-love and self-acceptance.

Mr. Domino, Nights22, 88Pisces and others:

I didn't know it is tough right now for so many Pisces. I don't know if this has anything to do with it but earth also goes thru her own zodiac cycles. Each of the 12 signs gets their 2000 years of influence. We are in the Age of Pisces which comes only about every 27000 yrs, according to what I have read. Maybe being in this age accentuates all the Pisces elements in all the signs?

PiscesPassion:

Appreciate your perspective and advice. I love truth, but I dislike it being delivered in a disrespectful way.

I was pretty talkative on the second date so I don't think it was me not being talkative. I just dont think I am his type. He may be a dreamer too, maybe he overfantasized about me and what he saw in me and the image he developed in his head didnt match? Is that a Pisces trait?

Anyway, if I meet a Pisces I like, I will be sure not to clam up!

I notice though, both men and women, once they decide they like you, they like you. Unless you do something that really turns them off, they will put up with idiosyncrasies here and there. Whatever it was he didn't like I will never know and I won't ever find out. If I run into him I will be friendly. If he is friendly back, I may say something like, "I enjoyed talking to you a lot last time. Let's be friends!"

Sorry, you can't ask a Virgo gal do what is against our nature, which is to be really forward. Maybe some Virgo women can do that, but not this one. I already feel I went overboard in telling him I would enjoy chatting again after the first date. That is something I agonized over and it sounds super silly but welcome to the travails of Virgoland.

P.S.

PiscesPassion: We never spoke much at all in all these yrs so he didn't know me from Eve. He said one word to me at that time was all I remember and I left early as I wasn't feeling well. so there was nothing for him to compare. That's why I am assuming I am not his type. I didn't do anything wrong on the date unless telling a guy he was really really interesting is the wrong thing to say.

I thought I'd clarify.

Oops, I meant to say, we didn't ever spoke in 6 years. We were virtual strangers even tho we did meet at a party.

Thanks 88Pisces! You've got my back! 🙂

I think that is what happened, the reality didn't match his dream. Oh well! I did feel super rejected but I am a Virgo and we chin up and move on! I have read that my sign moves on very quickly. I am already feeling a whole lot better than last week. Thanks for cheering me up!

I have a Pisces Moon too so I think this is why I have some kind of connexion with the fishes. So I know I do the same, I dream, and have an elaborate fantasy and end up feeling a lot of pain too. It is my sun in Virgo that helps me to move on quickly....we rationalize it so it makes sense to us to move on and then our feelings sort of follow....a handy technique! But I can sense the pain Pisces go thru.....my Pisces friend who calls me from time to time goes thru a lot of that. A couple of months ago when he called, he sounded terrible. His voice was dark and low and had no energy. He didn't want me to do anything but to listen to him. He couldn't take any advice. Then I didn't hear from him for a few weeks and I was concerned, so I called him, and he actually said he was feeling better and didn't want to talk about it because it would remind him of how bad he was! So we ended the conversation. I just let him call now.

Elusive: Funny......because I am a bit weirded out by them!