Relationships with Pisces Men...Is it worth it? (Page 3)

"Who needs therapy when you've got dxp. Come to think of it, maybe I need therapy because of dxp."

LOL ME TOO!

I swear I get more support from here than I do in real life sometimes!

Cancerlady

How are you doing anyway BJ?

I'm good CL, Keepin it real down under!!

Represent Baby!!

Forgive me, I'm feelin a little nutty today being Friday and all.

it's Friday in Australia? Oh pleaz let me be where you are!

BJ...

Down under? Hmmmm....Nice.....

CL

No. 1 Aquiella............I wouldn't put up with him YELLING on the phone to me - you asked a perfectly logical question and straight-forward question?

No. 2 "So he then says he still wants to do something and we can hang with him!!"
Big swing!!!! What a grand gesture indeed!!.....you are deigned to be allowed "hang out" with him!!!

No. 3 - He doesn't offer to buy you a drink......mean, he could have at least offered!

No. 4 - then he trots off into the nite with his cousin leaving you......with his retorts......I'll see you later, see you later, see you later..........

And then we have the "But no, I want to understand why you are so annoyed - turning the tables on you scenario" from him.........

What kind of childish, immature behaviour is this? Is it just a once-off or does the do this type of thing alot? If it's a pattern, I'd walk.
Once-off-ish - forgive if you wish and make up but clarify this type of behaviour is unacceptable to you now and in the future!

My "rules of engagement" for want of a better word are:

1. I am second to nobody.

2. I don't wait around for anybody.

3. I wait for him to ring/contact.
For me, they always work and I act accordingly.

In anwser to your question, were you right............YES YES YES.

Good luck my pal.

A x

NO thanks needed Aquiella.......cut and clear as you say .....he's been cut! and you are in the oh so clear!!!

Take care......and hey have a great weekend.......

A x

sorry im late in my posting,
BJ-"Who needs therapy when you've got dxp"

Very true i find myself thinking about the ppl on here somtimes more than my freinds.

And cancerlady im sorry but i cant realate since im only a pisces male and i dont whats its like to be a cancer girl dating one....

but if it helps i think pisces minds go back and fourth and somtimes if almost unintentionally provoked by somone i can be Very controlling telling others what to do and how,.....my cap freind recently told me to stop telling him what to do and i realised i do that alot, and I DIDNT EVEN REALISE IT!!!! i felt terrible and i dont tell people what to do anymore, i suggest a more practical or less complicated way of sloving somthing,............i just think pisces are like sensitive chameleons,.......thats how i feel at least....
i feel i could be anything but at the end of the day i become sensitive and emotional in private,.......its hard to understand pisces behavior because its so different from time to time........at least that is how the few pisces i know are.....

hope this helped some.


"Be careful who you pretend to be,
because you are what you pretend to be"

I'm sick seeing such topics. Damn it you people. Whats wrong with ya all? Go get some sex and sit quietly. You turned this thing into big big problem. I hate you all.

This is you who wine and cry. Not me. Then this is you who need good sex. In other words, make sex with your P-Men and forget about the rest. END.

I express my frusturation once in a month and so. You do it all the time.....Look around. All is whine whine and whine. I didn't find any topic that express fun, joy or anything positive. It looks like you people date/relationship with men/women for frusturation only...

When you start to think negative, it will take control over your moods. When you are in negative mood, your mood will make others negative towards you too and that will become your personal quality. When people will become negative towards you, this will become your destiny.

Heres the posotive side to life,

well i dont think there actually is one,

somtimes its bearable,

somtimes its lovely but nothing is all swell all the time haffo.........

dont know why your mad....

i thought we were supossed to express ourselves here regardless of it bing negative or whatever....

is that why you wrote, "screw you" all over the Aries forum, haffo?

The life itself is what we do with people near US! Not how it comes to US! Everything is in our control. If we keep everything positive with people, then everything will turn positive to us and we will not need negativity AT ALL!

That why I gave signals to stop the negativities on this board, and start doing something POSITIVE!!!

Cursing is motto for positive things, too.

STD. That was like a shock to make people "wake up".

wake up to what? How rude you are? .. and essentially doing the things you accused Qbone of doing?

how very hypocritical..

I made wake up post to draw people attention from their negativity!

I don't recall saying anything negative to you- to deserve the malicious response but hey.. good luck to you.

What QBone did was pointless, mine is not! Qbone was accusing personally people for what they are not. I do to make people wake up and look differently which is great help for them because they wont do that by themselves. If I weren't did anything like that who knows how long this would continue? It's like cycle. It's like a computer program that cycles infinitive times.

Bah STD. You refuse to see the point itself and take the topic to the details. I can't make everyone happy by doing that. But hey, wellness of everyone, outweights the wellness of one.

I don't see it. I'm not "ill" because of it. Sounds like an excuse for bad behavior- but we'll have to agree to disagree. As I said before, Good luck.

It seems contradictory for you to say in one sentence "Screw you all, I hate you"

Hate being one of the most negative words in the the english vocabulary...then in the next say

"I was trying to wake everyone up and stop them from being so negative"

What— Do as I say, not as I do? I am a bit confused here...

CL

PISCES OHH I WAS WITH A PISCES FOR THREE YEARS STARTS OF SWEET AND ENDED UP THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER BEEN IN

VERY SELFISH ..HE HAD A KID DID NOT TELL ME ABOUT THE CHILD.....UHM NO RESPECT FOR ANY MAN THAT BEHAVES THAT WAY .......LAZY AND I MEAN LAZY ..DEPRESSIVE ..BLAMES YOU FOR EVERYTHING EVEN AFTER WE BROKE UP ...GOOD LUCK

Hey people...My experience with a Pisces guy, and any commentary welcome:

He's Pisces, I'm Scorpio. We met at a picnic randomly and we were both recently out of relationships. Mine not so serious with a Cancer man, his was 3,5 yrs with another Pisces girl and they were going to get married. It was a crappy breakup. I'm almost over my breakup, he doesn't seem to have healed yet.

So we had instant attraction, he was really all over me, buying me drinks in clubs, paying for dinners on dates, holding my waist, showing affection, dancing real real close in clubs (Sexy!!)...Bought me a fan because it got hot, told me I can pay later.

And we even had a talk. He initiated it, saying "what do you think is going on between us? it's been a bit fast eh?" And he was so so sweet, that day I was so impressed. He said he respects me greatly, he thinks a relationship with me would be great, that I'm a great person, that he likes spending time with me...That day we had a great date, where he was open and receptive. It wasn't even all that flirty. And he told me we should take it slow. Then he gave me the sweetest, most innocent hug. I felt great.

Then two weeks go by, we have alone dates as well as friend functions (we're in a group and have mutual friends). At clubs after a few drinks, he's all over me, and romantically sweet too. Holding my hand, etc...Then on daytime dates with no alcohol involved, he's totally friendly. Nothing else! Yet he's also very thoughtful and nice, like he comes to pick me up from the ER when I had a problem and drives me very long routes. Going out of his way...Then finally one night at a club I confront him after a very steamy dance session (we haven't kissed), like "what's going on here...I feel like we do this every time, and then I want to hold your hand outside but that's off limits". He said "oh I guess I just dance that way" BS!! Then after being defensive, he came around...He told me that I should go with the flow and enjoy the moment. And that he may be giving me mixed signals...That maybe we shouldn't do it. Then I told him that I DO enjoy the hand holding, just am confused. So that night we kept going at it...But next morning we go for coffee, no intimacy again! WTF? It's all back and forth. I've never felt so weird, like he does so much, but it doesn't count as a signal?

Now I'm playing games which I hate...Withdrawing and ignoring him. So what should I do? He seems really unsure of what he wants. Insight? I'll be back to write more.

🙂Kafka

He's not sure about you...

Yeah,he's not sure yet.Alcohol isn't an excuse for I don't mean to do that it's usually the reversed effects.Your completely honest and don't have to nagging back of the mind stuff to worry about as when sober.

Tiamat: Can you explain what you mean here just a bit more? "Alcohol isn't an excuse for I don't mean to do that it's usually the reversed effects.Your completely honest and don't have to nagging back of the mind stuff to worry about as when sober."
Thanks Haffo, I kind of can tell that he's not sure...But still, in 1,5 months I'm up at the status of his closest friends...Shouldn't I have any hope——

Kafka

Just because he's drunk during those situations doesn't mean that those are false actions,I think he's interested but somethings holding him back.

Tiamat🙂 Thanks, girl😉

That was what I was hoping for...And you know what, he's not ever drunk drunk. I asked him that day, he said no! Then in the car's backseat (friends were driving it, it wasn't just the two of us, LOL), he laid on my lap for a few seconds, he held my hand, caressing each finger and the palm softly (it was really really romantic and powerful, magnetic)...I don't know.

We even acknowledged the chemistry way before that, that it's summer and it's hormones, but it's actually not a good time now...Then again, in the clubbing settings we both do it.

He was dedicated to this girl and did everything for her, including Long-d. And then she found someone else and dumped him. There were other complications too, like not being able to get a job in the same city and family obligations, but it was a bad breakup. The thing is though, he never shows how hurt he is. He is known to be a very private person. The only time I can tell he's going through something is when I see him drink. He's not an alcoholic, but I can tell he drinks to numb the pain...and even the excessive clubbing--I do it for the same reason, to forget my breakup.

What do I do? back off completely? Now he's going to leave for 3 weeks vacation anyway, so I'm probably going to see him at least once. What about the Pisces context? Do they usually not know what they want.

I'll be honest, if I had him right now, I probably wouldn't know what to do with him either...But I know much better than him that I at least would like to pursue this, even if it's at a very slow rate.

PS: He also told me that I can call him anytime I want, that I should be able to tell him anything, and we should be able to trust each other.

Yet I totally don't feel like I can call him anytime! I feel uncomfortable and needy/pushy if I call him or offer to do something. WTF?

Hey Kafka,

Us pisces can take a while to get over things sometimes. Sounds to me like he likes you but needs things to go at his own pace. We fish can be a bit indecisive at times. Have a read of my topic "Against the forces of my nature" it may give you an idea of how twisted some of us pisces males can be. In reality he's finding it hard to cope with his break up. Alcohol is the thing that helps him escape this reality and get on with it (I do the same). This doesn't necessarily mean he does or doesn't like you, it just means that under the influence of alcohol there seems to be less consequence to his actions. There is obviously somethings going on between you two but it's being over shadowed by his past relationship. Sounds pretty similar to something I'm going through. He probably just needs time and space. If you really like him and you want something to come of it you'll have to give him that but don't forget about your needs in the process.

Good luck!!

LONG POST AHEA😱

Hey BJ, your message comforted me so much...Or should it! LOL It sure helped.

I read your other entry...That is SO him...Jesus, go figure!

I really like this guy and don't want to blow it. I wonder if that's how he thinks too "she seems to have fallen for me pretty fast"--I'd die if I knew that! Anyway, I did put myself out there.

How does he do it though? He was vulnerable too, yet not as much as me. I feel he had an art in giving just enough, but not too much to be held accountable for. Making it seem like I can open up, and then he closes back down! I feel exposed and really out of control, something I really don't like.

After him promising to come see an open-air movie last Saturday (it was going to be 4 pp, not just the two of us) and then upon arrival saying he'll just stay for a bit and leave, that really got to me--I vowed to screw the whole thing and forget about it. I was so pissed off, like who does he think he is? Leaving me hanging there. I guess he's doing everything in his power to show me we're not dating. But then he acts all caring, picking me up from the ER and buying me $ 200 dehumidifiers because it's hot, saying I can pay later...Driving me to his place to see a movie and driving me all the way back afterwards (it's a 30-45 min. drive, and then back)...Jeez...Paying for all my drinks and dinners. Then he says he goes out with his friends like that too. I've known him for only 1,5 months.

It's justified that I'm confused, right? THANK GOD he didn't kiss me...

But yeah, what he's told me so far is:
-I'm not ready for a commitment right now
-Let's take it slow and go with the flow
-I don't F*** around in a group, and rather not ruin what we have if it's going to be awkward in the group (ie. not risk losing the friendship because we have mutual friends and also "I wouldn't do this if I didn't see some possibility", right?)
-Maybe I gave you mixed signals...(then he still holds my hand 1 hour later, and caresses it)
-I tell you things I don't tell my closest friends
-You can tell me anything, if you have a question, come and ask me, don't ask someone from the group
-You're really great and I know something with you would be great

I felt so flattered when he told me all this stuff, esp. the last one, but now I'm thinking (Scorpios think this way, considering EVERY possibility obsessively), maybe he said it all to be nice and to avoid making me feel rejected? I should be happy he did that, right? It's sweet. He hasn't been a jerk at all...He's just been confusing. I've felt used because he gets to touch me while dancing, enjoy holding hands with me in clubs, take me out on dates but then he says he doesn't want to call it dating!

But he's doing exactly what you did, maybe he felt things were going too fast and he's adjusting it to the pace he's comfortable with? Tell me what you think BJ (and others)

So what's with the sexy dancing in the club (and it's very sexy, I'm tellin' ya! The chemistry is there) and hand holding, and the next day totally acting distant? Does he think I'm an easy catch? In those moments, is he just numbing his pain? I know those moments did make me very happy, ecstatic. But then shitty afterwards.

So BJ, my feeling is that he's simply incapable right now...Which is fair. Really. But in terms of playing the game, what should I do? I don't want him to think "she fell for me". How can I turn that around? What would make YOU go (as a pisces), "oops I gotta keep her, she's slipping out of my fingers!" What will alarm him, and stop him take me for granted?

Please please help! I'm seeing him only once before he leaves, and that is to return some cds...It may be short.

The person I've been betrayed by and hurt physically and emotionally 7 years ago was a fellow Piscean. He was a buddy of mine, that had such an easy-going facade, yet he had a violent temper. I'm a Pisces too, but I often got a vague vibe about him. Everyone else disliked him and warned me to watch my back, but at the time I thought he was a good guy and from how long we knew eachother, I thought I knew and trusted him. Man, was I WRONG. He not only had an UGLY temper, but he was deeply insecure that made his fuse even more shorter. When I became aware if this, I tried shortening how much I hung out with him. He then began to become super paranoid and then he started thinking I was talking about him behind his back. I mean, he started making all of these ridiculous assumptions of me, then he just stopped talking to me altogether. I wanted to try to talk rationally to express my concerns, but he was so angry that it was like a totally different person was standing in front of me. As a matter of fact, that totally different person shot me in the rib cage with a BB gun. Luckily it hit the bone, because it could've punctured my lungs according to the doctors. I'm a Pisces myself, but I'm more in control of my emotions with reasoning. You have Pisceans out there who are emotionally unstable to where they can be an over sensitive time bomb that can really hurt you. I've experienced one, and I don't want to deal with another. THat experience has me more cautious and guarded.

I have that problem people say im sweet,
but i also get very rude and hurtful when my flaws are shown,......i have the worst self esteem in the history of life....
its also hard when people notice so clearly........but thats sucks about your freind....

Bj,fishman,sea siren etc.etc.could probably help more with that stuff than me.Two pisces were friends with benifits so not much complexity there being as it was a mutable agreement to um,yeah,that sexual stuff and the one im with now was the one who was more of the let's get serious initiater in my own relationship.I never had to deal with that problem.The only thing I will suggest is don't take it as personally as you are,you both need some time to heal properly before it will be as good as it could be.Won't say ignore him and make him think your mad or anything,that might be bad,just go with the flow a little more and let it happen at it's on pace,not only for him but to help you with the rejection and whatever else your kinda iffy about.Give yourself time to gain your confidence and up lifted spirits back in otherwords,then maybe it will wear off on him and get him in a happier,less depressive mind frame.

Kafka,

Well, sound like you got one hell of a confusing fish Honey. We pisces naturally have a very warm nature and (speaking from my own experience) find it quite easy to draw people in with that warmth. He definately likes you, personally I'm suprised he hasn't kissed you as we fish are very affectionate (which would explain all the touchy feely stuff).

Unfortunately I don't think this last time you get to see him will be the magic moment for you. Pisces are very deep thinkers so even if you were able to some how trick him into something now, his mind would just swim back to his other gripes soon after.

He really needs to be detached from that before he can give himself to anyone else wholey and souly. Being the deep person I'm sure he is, he'll need to be fully at peace. My advice, be a friend and maybe not act so interested. We like a bit of a chase and it may make him realise he can't have his cake and eat it too.

As far as him buying you stuff, we pisces are quite generous. One of our biggest down falls as it usually leaves us broke.

Good luck and keep me posted. it's good to get a perspective from the other side.

Tiamat: Thanks, sweetie. You're right, he can't see me with a down spirit. I do feel he's more attracted to me when I'm strong and independent. Not clingy and needy. I'm not going to call him anyway. It's best to be a friend first, and sincere. I think sincerity is key.

BJ: Thanks too. That was good insight and advice🙂 But I still want to know what to do to make him realize I'm not waiting there for him, to give him that wakeup call. Any advice there?

"Pisces are very deep thinkers so even if you were able to some how trick him into something now, his mind would just swim back to his other gripes soon after." You mean from that...That if I pushed him into something he'd change his mind, so it really has to be on his terms? Don't worry, I don't even dare call the guy, let alone kiss him or make any kind of first move! Got too much pride.

Thanks, guys.

(I just find it hard to forget the chemistry! I haven't had that with someone for a long time--I can't even imagine what it'd be like to kiss him)

LOVE, Kafka

""""Pisces are very deep thinkers so even if you were able to some how trick him into something now, his mind would just swim back to his other gripes soon after." You mean from that...That if I pushed him into something he'd change his mind, so it really has to be on his terms? Don't worry, I don't even dare call the guy, let alone kiss him or make any kind of first move! Got too much pride."""

Kafka,

I can't speak for him obviously but if it were me, I would feel bad that I couldn't give you what you deserved from a partner because of the fact that my mind was preoccupied by my prior relationship and would probably end up pushing you away.

As far as how can you make realise you're not going to wait. It probably wouldn't hurt to tell him that you don't think it's a good idea to be so touchy feely as you are getting mixed signals from him and it's confusing you because you kinda like him.
You don't have to wait for him. Maybe flirt with other guys in front of him, it may trigger something. Over time he will get over his prior and if there is a real chemistry between you, it won't go away in a hurry. Infact it may just get stronger.

best of luck!!

Kafka...

I know I'm kinda late, but let me put my few dollars in.

1. Give him a mixture of neediness and independence. They need to know you deeply care about them but like to think that they have a strong independent woman who can handle herself. Be both if possible!

2. Definitely give him time because he is not over his other relationship, BUT at the same time don't let him dwell on the past. Help him GENTLY to move past her by being a good friend and listening to him if he also has those "go off" moments.

3. KISS HIM! I say take the initiative and see what happens. Worse case scenerio he might freak out a bit, but only if he doesn't really want it. Then you'll no longer be in the dark.

4. Talk to Tiamat...She is a Scorp also and she might be able to give you some good advice being that you two are coming from a similar place.

5. I wouldn't say flirt with other guys, because so early in the "relationship" he might not appreciate that as much but definitely let him know you don't have to wait on his ass!

Just what has helped me in the past...

CL/CM2

Oh yeah,

DON'T be available to him all the time. Ignore his calls sometimes and call him back later saying you were busy but you saw he called.

I know it seems like a bunch of games, but that's because it is! They need that excitement though I guess!

"DON'T be available to him all the time. Ignore his calls sometimes and call him back later saying you were busy but you saw he called."

DANG! Honestly, I'm gonna choke a girl who ignores me...

Update:

I was with him tonight and it was pretty normal. I went with an open heart and an open mind, instead of dwelling and overanalyzing what the deal was last week. I didn't want to have a defensive vibe.

We had dinner, a good chat, and coffee afterwards. He asked me some questions and we discussed politics, always a good thing. He was sweet, but not excessively sweet. He offered to pay for dinner but I paid 3/4 of it🙂 (Because he always pays and I don't get it--if we're not dating, why pay?)

Apparently I get to see him tomorrow before he leaves, I thought he was leaving tomorrow but it's the day after. We'll see. Tomorrow most likely it'll be the group dynamic again, which is awkward. Today he seemed relaxed and fine. No pressure. I was sweet and friendly and there was very slight flirting.

I didn't have the guts to kiss him or anything, plus I really really don't be the one to initiate--I just know he's not ready yet. He has to do it! The only good thing was that he was plugged in tonight and not distant. We'll see😛

Ok, Cancergirl; I'm actually going to make plans for tomorrow and if he wants, he can join me. So that way I'll be not available.

But Haffo: I'm just wondering, do you hate it when a girl ignores you? Or aren't you a little bit intrigued? Really...

" But Haffo: I'm just wondering, do you hate it when a girl ignores you? Or aren't you a little bit intrigued? Really..."

When a girl avoids me on telephone I feel total turn off....But if you want to make it intriguing then you have to show challange. Just acting cold isn't a way to show a challage. It's more like "Get lost" behaviour. Challange is when you show frusturation and agression with wanting that man. It can be in form of words, behaviours or just a look.

See Haffo's response?

Like I said before...you have to be both needy and independant at the same time! It's so weird being with a Pisces because they really keep you on your toes, but sometimes those games they play...AAAArrrrgggghhhh!

CL/CM2

He's gone for 3 weeks. As par today, I can expect to not hear from him at ALL for that duration. Maybe e-mail, but not even that. And I know I'm taking out the fun and drama of the message boards, but my intuition is telling me that it ain't gonna happen between us. He deliberaltely destroyed the chemistry. I think I just find him very attractive and would have liked to try it out, but I'm also increasingly getting turned off and don't have the patience. He may not be ready for a year! Who knows?

I'll still be around to butt in and comment on things though!

love,

Kafka

Still, I can tell you guys how tonight went: We were in the group and I pretty much ignored him...But also showed attention at times. I kept on insulting him, saying stuff like "oh you behave yourself now! just because you're leaving doesn't excuse your obnoxious behavior" etc...And he seems to like that, when I jokingly insult him😛 At a point, I fed him some of my dessert which was sort of cute. But that was seriously it. It was all stupid jokes otherwise. Sexual innuendos at times (I swear like a sailor at times and I'm not scared to make certain dirty jokes!) too. He wished me a good summer and left early to pack.

I predict he'll come back rested and happy. But the chemistry may be gone by then and something will be different for sure. Hell, I may forget him too!

The key is: NO EXPECTATIONS WHATSOEVER.

If he hadn't made this an item, it wouldn't have been, man! He's the one who had that talk with me about "what we are, what we could be". If that hadn't been done, I wouldn't be on this message board today, dissecting everything.

Anyway guys, goodnight!

K

It's very possible that he's making his pray to suffer because then it will be much more tastefull to "eat" it.