@lildol
16 Years5,000+ Posts
So I shall (for a change) be confrontational...
Understanding the Signs of Emotional and Domestic Abuse
Recognizing emotional abuse involves noticing patterns like manipulation, control, and cycles of tension and reconciliation. It often does not involve physical violence initially but can escalate over time. Support systems and research are essential for victims to understand and navigate these situations safely. Consulting resources about the cycle of violence can help identify early warning signs and find help.
You all do amaze me with your density to the reality of the real world and what actually goes on there - as per empirical research. Some of you are educated, however you fail to rely on your smarts, or you were just the product of a poor education. Go do a meta analysis if you only want to see it one way and not open your eyes to different ways of viewing reality (which a quality education would have definitely emphasized and you would know what a meta analysis is). If the findings suggest that you're belief system coincides with the bulk of empirical research, so be it. However, interestingly enough, rarely is empirical research the basis of what you believe. Go educate yourselves (possibly to be able to educate yourselves) then you have the right to speak with authority. Until then, you know nothing without the data to back it up!
Posted by ianthefish
ok i read the rest...hey lildol go fuck your self....
She already is.
*smh* you guys amaze me to no end! And I would never speak to you the way you voice yourself - I am sooo better than that! Chalk it up to Cappy self pride, I don't think in general Caps reduce themselves to such! We're better than that...
Maybe your perception that you're so much "better" than us is why you simply cannot see what we've been saying for so long, and in so many ways - soft and kind, firm but gentle, harsh and cold. So many have tried, and you refuse to see. You are the creator of your own demise, over and over. You keep crashing and burning, but can't see how any of it is YOUR doing. Can you not see how frustrated we are all becoming with you and your ceaseless drama?
It's like you're setting bombs in your home, but can't figure out why your houses keep blowing up and forcing you to get a new one! We're like your insurance adjuster, trying to convince you to stop playing with explosives, but you keep insisting that what you do is harmless.. it's everyone else's fault.
So, like your insurance adjuster.. we don't want to cover you anymore. You're gonna blow your house up again, but this time you'll have to figure out what you're going to do all on your own, without any compensation from us, cuz we dropped your policy. You're too big a liability. Best of luck to you.
and I laugh...
the world is so much more than any of my posts... you all need to get a grip. Life is good, and to no end I will see it out as such!!
^^^if only
such anger in your response Ian, not becoming, not like you in general. Hmmmm, I digress. Life gives us things we must learn from, we can't control everything, we surely must let go of those things we can't control, life goes on. Live, love, laugh... my motto!
are you feeling anger yet?
😄
No, don't know how and I'm ok with that. More people need to be able to direct their feelings accordingly rather than be angry in general. Why people get angry about things that don't matter (and nothing really matters) is beyond me. Life is good! We can't always understand it and what people do/say, but that is why people post here, is it not?
Is your real name Sybil? Which clueless personality is speaking now? Shall I call her Daddy's Girl or Denial Sucks?
And FYI.. Ian has not said one thing to you tonight with even the smallest bit of anger in it. He's laughing at you and rolling his eyes. How can you not see that? Oh, wait.. a woman so clueless about HERSELF will certainly not be able to figure others out.. especially not men she dates. Tragic.
Your house is gonna blow up. Tick tock.
its reality... and I embrace reality! I just sometimes seek to understand it better...
Nefer, no, I do see what Ian is doing, but on my part: no affect, what is the point? Funny, that so gets you guys!!!
are you feeling anger yet?
😄
No, don't know how and I'm ok with that. More people need to be able to direct their feelings accordingly rather than be angry in general. Why people get angry about things that don't matter (and nothing really matters) is beyond me. Life is good! We can't always understand it and what people do/say, but that is why people post here, is it not?
yeah nothing really matters, like putting your kids and yourself through an abusive relationship....
did that make you angry? or did you just sit around sulking... did you leave anger up north? have you experienced it since you left?
click to expand
make that "relationships" and it is depressive as well as depressing... shall I repeat that some folks need to do a little research? I dare not call people dumb because of their ignorance!
😕 And you claim you're not a drunk?
If you're not drunk, then you're a cunt. *shrug*
But one who is so passive-aggressive in her self-destruction, because she doesn't feel anger.
Anger is healthy. Anger is a catalyst, a tool, a compass. Anger drives us when nothing else can.
If you don't feel anger, you've hollowed yourself out and don't even know how sick you really are.
You think you're "normal" cuz you feel "fine" but you're more messed up than you know.
In order to keep Anger in a box.. you have to box up almost everything else too.
You're so broken that you're walking on the jagged edges and denying it hurts.
Feeling your world in a watered-down version of emotion and feeling, insisting life is gooooood.
Living in denial, cuz to tell the truth would crumble the careful survivalistic facade.
You will never have a healthy relationship until YOU become healthy first.
You make me feel so sad.
And looking back on such relationships, why anger? Confusion, yes; sense of no control, yes; fear, yes, defiantly; anger? where does that come in? Not sure. People too often equate other feelings to anger. Do I look back in disbelieve at some things I've experienced, certainly. Life is a road that comes with a few bumps in it... for some, more bumps than others. What we do when we encounter them, and how we maneuver them speaks much more to our character than anything else. Those who have never had to be as strong have nothing on those who have! Anger serves no purpose on the road we travel...
Nefer, I don't feel anger, I never have.
Then you were broken young. :/
It's all there, I can't believe I didn't see it before. I must have felt something, though. Normally by now, I'd have letter-bombed a bitch and been done with it.
I feel slighted, I feel hurt, I feel deceived, I feel wronged, but anger is not in my repertoire. Maybe anger is too generic of a term and I am more specific about what I actually feel... more like what I think of how I was treated and what it means to me.
Maybe you all are too generic to actually accentuate you're own feelings and look at them from an analytical standpoint to understand actually the "why" you are feeling the way you do which you in turn express as anger (or any other emotion for that matter).
Anger, why? What does what was done mean to you? This makes a lot more sense to me!!
Bella, uh? My parents were traditional, mom (Sag) stayed at home (sewed my clothes... other than that we got from the thrift store - when we were really young she was raiding the Salvation Army bin trading out things no longer fit us for things that did) and my dad (Virgo) worked all the time and when he was home slept all the time.
as a kid, I was a loner. The trolls were always out to get me and the Gnomes would always save me... then again, I lived in the middle of no where (literally) with no one to play with.
even as a young kid in school, I was a loner, kept to myself, no one was interested in "playing" with me... hung out with kids younger as a result. Often times was in trouble and "on the wall" (don't remember why). I do remember getting in trouble for saying I wanted homework in 5th grade though, go figure; I answered the teacher honestly when she threw it out there about getting homework if we didn't do something...
Posted by BellaBulleautiful
those friggin trolls are STILL out to get me....
The Gnomes will save you!!
😛
Really, I did play the whole trolls kidnapped me and gnomes saved me... trees were great! Yeah, I was a weird kid, like I said, I was a loner, that was my play - I didn't exactly have the opportunity to play with others. We did live rather remotely.
LOL glad I'm not alone!!!!!
hey thanks Bella, you really make me feel better about my childhood (as messed up as it, or maybe I, was)!!
that might make a great post!!! Childhood experiences LOL (or, maybe not... we shall see)
its funny shes from the abyss of confusion and she has managed to drag ya all down there bahahah
Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
its funny shes from the abyss of confusion and she has managed to drag ya all down there bahahah
😛
:/
🙂
I am (the whole abyss of confusion), but it's not so much about what I post here. It's more about life in general. I think you all can relate... life does not operate in a vacuum therefore we cannot anticipate nor otherwise dictate the outcome!! (despite what our heart, head, or dick desires)
the dick part, well, I was being gender neutral LOL
Posted by BellaBulleautiful
I don't think we are judging you like you think we are.well,we've started to I guess....but we've really been trying to get you out of your own head.you're stuck in there is all 😢
the look of her DP looks very very very stubborn haha....
Yeah, everyone is judging me... but, yes at the same time, I know you all are trying to "get" to me. I realize where I've gone wrong (in many ways) and in some ways you guys have spoken to that and shown light on thing that I would not have considered. Don't think your words have fallen on deaf ears (this goes to all of you)!!! Don't fault me for where I have gone wrong! I don't need to be yelled at!!!!
All of you are too eager to jump on where/when people falter and where they have faltered in the past. And it's not just me. We ALL have moments where we and need validation, whether we want to admit it or not! It doesn't make us right, but it doesn't make us wrong either.
"P & others: as far as my children, they know I wouldn't tell them if there was an issue. Do your research, they acted typical of kids raised in a situation where domestic violence ran rampant."
You did the research for me rigth there ^^^^^^^ from your own fingertips, you proved my point when I said that you allowed your kids to be raised in a bad environment.
You are more than welcome to suck my dick, though, if that makes you feel better.
woah lol ive never heard a 51yo female say something like that
Posted by P-Angel
"P & others: as far as my children, they know I wouldn't tell them if there was an issue. Do your research, they acted typical of kids raised in a situation where domestic violence ran rampant."You did the research for me rigth there ^^^^^^^ from your own fingertips, you proved my point when I said that you allowed your kids to be raised in a bad environment.
You are more than welcome to suck my dick, though, if that makes you feel better.
Ah, if life were only so simple and things weren't as such, it's not that easy. Nor an easy situation to escape. Take a walk on the dark side, that is reality. It's not always a choice when it gets to that point, it's survival. Again, must do your research, my textbook life back then was just that. But, you wouldn't know anything about reality or life and couldn't hang cause you don't have a dick to suck or balls for that matter... too much of a pussy in the rw to amount to anything. I have a lot more dick and bigger balls simply for the life I've lived and the shit I've seen. Like I said, don't knock it 'till you try it - let's put a gun to your head and watch you piss you're pants!
You're the one who comes in here to weep about how life has victimized you, and you come here to get attention you think you deserve for being helpless .. and in your lowness, you think it's your childrens place to suffer with you .. why else did you treat them so horrible that you would allow them to be raised in violence?
You admit to that as if it is their place to endure, since you're so fucking weak that you cannot protect them.
You are a child abuser you fucking twat .. so, don't expect me to come and stroke your ego like the stupid Taurus did.
You believe you have balls .. and yet, you abused your children .. you didn't have the balls to give them to someone else to raise, like you should have done.
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First off, everyone needs to stop jumping to conclusions and do their research. It is really sad the way the general public approach anything.
Ian: your comment was very uncalled for, as far as my drinking, it was typically me having dinner w/ a girlfriend 2x/wk and it was a glass or two of wine (btw, he says he is ok with this now :/)
P & others: as far as my children, they know I wouldn't tell them if there was an issue. Do your research, they acted typical of kids raised in a situation where domestic violence ran rampant.
For those of you who say first sign you would leave: Hello? Is that so? It doesn't jump out like that, time brings it to the forefront. There are not always options for leaving, and typically by that point there is no support system in place (it has been strategically and manipulatively done away with with the victim's knowledge - don't 'knock it till you try it). Maybe everyone oblivious to this type situation should take a few years out to experience it, in fact, I encourage it! Good luck to ya - You whole heatedly deserve it!
Nefer: Drama, no, don't do drama! Exhausting behaviors, must be confronted. Want things to end, yes. I choose for ALL to go away with no hard feelings - I don't harbor them myself and it's supposed to always be best to talk things out. No I have not spoken to him in, gee, since the last time I posed that I spoke to him whenever that may have been; btw, his approach has changed (and yeah I have listened to his messages), he wants me to have a wonderful day every single day and loves me.
Re what I just posted: let's go back to the previous statement, this is what draws many women back in. Read up on the cycle of violence!! This was not a violent relationship, per se (and I'm probably oblivious to some signs due to past relationships - certain things do seem normal), but his behavior is truly following very similar patterns.
Re the Virgo: he trust me and has stated outright such and that he knows I would never do him wrong (he knows I would never do ANYONE wrong, and I wouldn't thus the criticism I have received from some of you, I presume because you could/would - tisk, tisk). He does see me for who I am. And his stating that he does not want to hurt me in the future, he has some things in his past that he is worried will catch up with him (which I was clearly aware of before he ever made such statements), he's concerned that if they do I will be subject to being hurt as a result.