When is a Pisces man serious or not?

I met a Pisces a couple months ago. From a past engagement to one and the other pisces males I know, if find them to be very sensitive (including my dad) and emotional. However I have been close to pisces females and we just click, btw my baby is the sweetes pisces you will ever know 🙂

Anyway this fish boy is very handsome, an ex NBA player who has done it all in involvements and probably had evey female he wanted, we have been out several times, mad chemistry. He keeps me laughing and I enjoy his company. He started talking about being interested in only serious relationships. I mentioned I was at that point myself. He brought it up quite a bit the last couple times we were together.

Now the drama, he is very busy owns his own constuction company, is a personal trainer, owns a couple of properties and has a 2 year old son. He asked me if I was seriously interested in a relationship with him. I told him I wouldn't mind seeing where the posssibilities led. Since then, when I call we would talk and he would say he will call me back and then I wouldn't hear from him for another day or so, then he would call like nothing happenned or cancel on plans. I don't take him serious at all and was doubtful about his intent initially. Then why pretend you want to get to know someone seriously and not follow up with an action? I don't get it?

"another day or so"

Sorry, I didn't make myself clear. He DID say he wanted to be in a serious relationship with ME which was a shock! As we have never said WE were in a relationship and this is how it came about.

My mother was coming into town to take my daughter back out of town with her (she sent for her grand kids for the last month of the summer before school starts)then she couldn't make up her mind if she or my sister could come so at the last minute I took her myself. I originally told the fish boy My mom was coming to get my daughter then a day before I was leaving I asked if he wanted to meet for lunch because I was now going to take my daughter to my mom and I would be there a few days to visit my sister and my new nephew. He said he would try but time got away from us both and we couldn't. No big deal right? Wrong!

When I returned He was acting a little different like kind of less interested. Normally he would want to see me after work or go somewhere during the week a couple times. He was acting kind of nonchalant. So I joked with him by saying he is full of it, in a laughing matter, he asked why? I said because I have been back a few days and all of a sudden you are acting different, we were joking. Although he got the point, so I basically brushed it off. Then when we spent time together that weekend he admitted he was upset because I ddin't tell him I was taking my daughter and going out of town until the last minute and I initially told him my mom was coming to get her. Baffled, I asked what was the difference? Shocked that he would even get upset over that.

He said if you are seriously involved with someone then it seems like you should let them know what you are doing especiially when you aren't going to be in town before the last minute. Mind you we had NOT said we were in a serious relationship as you stated so this through me for a loop. I am still baffled. I then asked him if he considered us in a serious relationship? He said "yes that is what I thought we both wanted." I said I do but I didn't know we were trying or acting on it. He said, I am seriously interested in having a relationship. Since then he has been very busy we haven't talked or seen eachother much at all and I asked him if he seriously considers this a relationship then we would have to make the time to explore the possibilities. I think he took it as I was complaining as he replied in a smart tone "I have been working. You don't want me to work" which pissed me off but I let

that slide as well. I told him I work too and I am a single mom and this was the best time to get to know eachother while my child was away. He agreed and said he would make an effort. I asked him not to make an effort unless it was his true intention and if it wasn't, it is not a big deal just let me know. I don't want to waste my time if you aren't sure or able. He said he was sure and he really liked me and really wants to try this out.

We will see. I am a "Don't talk about it be about it type of person". I am definitely just watching. He is very busy but I am too so we shall see.

I really appreciiate your post star fish. I soooo understand that, I was thinking I myself will have to get used to being in a serious relationship as well it has been 3 years since I left my ex husband. I had a brief long distant relationship since. I am not trying to pressure him, he is the one who shockingly wants to try a serious relationship right away. I like to sort of ease into it. However if we are going to try I expect to feel like I am leading up to one. Not communicating on a minimal basis and not spending time will not allow you to get to know someone. Therefore it isn't fair to be in a serious relationship with someone you are barely with and live in the same city. I will give it a little time, but I won't waste too much either.

Seriously, this doesn't sound like a Pisces/Scorpio thing, rather, gender.


Unfortunately, I believe it's women who are the creators of this problem the majority of the time because they fail to fully comprehend that men don't react to emotions like a female would.


During the beginning phases of a relationship, the women projects the attitude of being casual, and NOT clingy. Men like this, this draws him deeper towards her, he likes a woman who won't emotionally smother him.

Then when he expresses his desire to make the relationship more serious and official .. the woman automatically expects the man to change, she expects him to become emotionally nurturing ALL THE TIME .. she is now projecting an emotionally neediness.

Man backs away .. this wasn't the woman he thought she was .. he thought she wasn't emotionally clingy, needy.


For a man who has that much obligation on his daily plate .. a day or two of being out-of-contact is not that much time, it isn't suggesting that he isn't serious about the relationship. It's just that because you are female, the moment he said, "serious" or "commitment", or any kind of suggestion like that .... you process this as him projecting these feelings as a woman would = emotional dependency on these feelings that should compel him to live and breathe for it.

He's a guy.

"Then when he expresses his desire to make the relationship more serious and official .. the woman automatically expects the man to change, she expects him to become emotionally nurturing ALL THE TIME .. she is now projecting an emotionally neediness."

This is probably true in most instances... However, not in this one. I am just a realist. Lies and words don't fancy me or I am not easily deceived, therefore if you say something mean it. I never had any expectations from him even when we talked about wanting a serious relationships He really got me with the attitude about me not telling him that I changed my plans and traveled until the day of. Now who has the expectations.

The point is, I am not expecting him to change, but stay the same if he is serious. If not keep it moving. Simple. He was calling all the time and at the least returning calls consistently in the beginning he was busier then than now, so keep it up if you are serious. I for one have never been and never be a smotherer if anything I am the one who feels smothered in most instances.

Men should either say what they mean and mean what they say or say nothing at all.

By the way in a couple of months if he can't keep up the momentum or at least keep his word than he was never serious from the beginning. This is not worth my time now. I moved and he said he would help move the last few things I needed, the day came and left. No call I called left a message the day before to check and see if he was still going to help. Nope no answer. Just to get a message two days later that he was tired! Right and you want to be in a relationship with me? Please... There is no justification for this behavior, he clearly got his people mixed up. So yes, I am done with the performance, he is a poor actor by the way. Thank goodness for my true male friends who came through at the last minute. 🙂

"yet all you keep doing is confronting him with ...do you really mean this? is this what you want? how do you define this?"

Yes I mean it and if you accept this type of behavior than that is you. We have been having fun and going on dates, but respect is something I won't compromise. If he is calling or returning calls and doing what he say one minute and doing the complete opposite the next then HELL NO, I don't have time for the wishy washy, playing games behavior. YES! Don't talk about it. Be about it. I don't chase anyone and I don't have to for real... When I find myself all of a sudden doing all the initiating well 90% when I know a person has been and still is able to participate more fully and isn't then I chalk that up to them not being serious or playing games. I did explain this to him in the beginning. I told him I wasn't interested in games etc. So why play them with me instead of finding someone who doesn't mind playing them. So again leokitten, this behavior might be acceptable to you, but I am over playing games. If we aren't on the same page then we shouldn't continue. Simple.

"he wanted to be involved in your life. he wanted to think he mattered and you would keep him in the loop./ your actions were treating him as an afterthought to the life YOU are leading...so why are you surprised he is hurt. try involving the man for god sake."


Uhhh, again, we just started going on dates, so why would he have these feelings, it hasn't even been two months and we never said we were officially dating and furthermore he knew about my daughter going to TX and the decision for me to take her was sort of last minute. Oh and if he had answered his phone or returned my call a couple days before the day of my flight he would have been informed. Still that is no big deal to me. He hasn't involved me in everything he does. Why should he especially before he mentioned wanting to be in a serious relationship with me. Are you serious?
"

Actually, GemGal had it assessed correctly with her firtst post ... he didn't say he wanted to be in a serious relationship with you ... he asked YOU if YOU wanted to be serious.

There's a difference ..


And I think this is why it has confused you .. you mis-interpreted the intent of his words. Again .. back to the whole female emotional neediness thing.

Think about this from a logical standpoint instead of an emotional one, try to seperate yourself from the situation ... you said, "we just started going on dates, so why would he have these feelings, it hasn't even been two months and we never said we were officially dating" ... so, you KNOW that the two of you are still in the initial stages of relationship development, and you KNOW that he shouldn't be getting all this serious and shit so fast. He asked you if you wanted a serious relationship with him ... and from the moment he asked this question of YOU ... your perspective of his intentions changed towards him. You now cannot handle a day or two going by without him contacting you because you believe he was telling you he wanted to he serious with you .. when in reality, he merely asked you a question of what your intentions were with him.


Seriously, Queen .... this all sounds like you took something he said and twisted the meaning to mean something else .. because you want it to be the something else.

I don't think this is his issue at all .. I think it's yours.

"He asked me if I was seriously interested in a relationship with him. I told him I wouldn't mind seeing where the posssibilities led."

This isn't him telling you he wants to be serious, Queen .. this is him feeling you out to see where you are, your intentions with him. You took this to mean something other than what he said.

"Since then, when I call we would talk and he would say he will call me back and then I wouldn't hear from him for another day or so, then he would call like nothing happenned or cancel on plans."

Since then, he still talks to you ... and when he gets busy with his professional life and you don't hear from him for a day or so, he calls and acts like nothing happened .... because nothing DID happen, except in your mind.

" .. like nothing happened .. "

What happened, Queen? He asked you a question, you answered. He got busy with his professional life and a day or so went by before he could call you, then he called you.

Were you expecting something? You must have been expecting some sort of reaction or response from him, since you believe that he acts like nothing happened, when obviously you think something did happened.

What happened, in which you are referring that got you upset to the point that you would say ... "like nothing happenned" in a tone to suggest that he should own up to something happening, that he errer in some way?

"I don't take him serious at all and was doubtful about his intent initially."

So all this emotional chaos over something happening in which he acted like it didn't, which sends you into freak-out mode .... when the above says that you don't take him serious at all.

If you are the one not taking him seriously at all, then the doubt that lingers in the mind is YOUR mind, Queen, not his. You can't see this and that's why you are projecting this onto him as if he is playing some sort of game with you .. because if you doubt him, and don't take him serious .. then how can you see an honest intent?

You're clouded .. it's making you so confused that you mis-interpret his intentions.

"Then why pretend you want to get to know someone seriously and not follow up with an action? I don't get it?"

This is a question I have for you ... if you don't take him seriously at all, which is what you said .. then what's up with this thread?

Scorpios have serious trust issues .. and it's obvious in this thread.

Perhaps, he is wanting to be serious and this is why he asked a question of you to feel you out on it ... however, once he did this, then you sped the clock up, and want it NOW.

People need time, especially a Pisces. We can't just jump right into a serious relationship without wieghing everything out within our vision of a harmonious relationship. He's likely been creating this image all his life, Queen .. and waiting for her to enter. Two months isn't a long enough time for him to know if you 'fit' within what he envisioned.

If you want to be with a Piscean successfully .. you first have to understand how we work.

We will throw something out there, plant a seed ...... then we have to see how it grows. We don't know that it took root, we don't know if the ground is fertile, yet for it to even grow. And once he planted this seed .. you immediately demanded that it took root.

He doesn't know that yet, he can't just make that determination in his mind that this seed is going to grow into an elegant flower, this seed might grow into a weed. You would want him to believe, because you believe that it will grow into a flower ... RIGHT NOW.

He can't do that, Queen .. he's a Pisces. He has to FEEL the little green points of life beginning to peek out of the ground, he has to FEEL, as each day passes the long stem of beauty shoot up.


Patience .... if you want to love a Pisces, then you MUST have patience.

"Actually, GemGal had it assessed correctly with her firtst post ... he didn't say he wanted to be in a serious relationship with you ... he asked YOU if YOU wanted to be serious."

Again,our first conversations were generaly speaking about being in serious relationships then he did say he wanted to be in a serious relationship after the initial incident, as I wasn't clear why he reacted the way he did. I however saw it just like you said. We both just said we were looking for a serious relationship but I didn't know he meant he wanted to be in one with me at that time. Exactly my point, so after the TX thing he said, I quote: "I do want to seriously be involved with you and see where this goes seriously, would you want me to be your man?" Me: Shocked, but answered: " I would like to see what the possibilities are being involved with you." Okay, then basically he stopped communicating after that and made a promise to help me move and didn't with no explanation. Give me a break.

After the pull back, I asked him again, are you seriously interested in something serious? Because if not you should really let me know. He said Yes, I am very interested. I just been busy. I said I understood he was busy, but come on guys... I call, we talk briefly and he says he will call back after a couple times of him not calling back I think that would be a hint. Also he asked me to dinner then I didn't hear from him until a day later? Uhh, there are limits to disrespect and forgetfulness this isn't someone who is serious at all. He was nothing like this the first month or so.

I didn't say he should contact me everyday. I don't contact him everyday but the couple days a week there is contact lately it has been me doing the contacting and him saying he will call back and never does. This is not even showing interest. I am sorry. I am only interested in involvements where actions are reciprocated.

"Seriously, Queen .... this all sounds like you took something he said and twisted the meaning to mean something else .. because you want it to be the something else
I don't have any major expectations, again this was very new."

Actually what is stated above is verbatum, and three different conversations. The second statement from him is what got me to the conclusion he wanted a serious relationship with me. If you think those words mean otherwise then please enlighten me.

"Perhaps, he is wanting to be serious and this is why he asked a question of you to feel you out on it ... however, once he did this, then you sped the clock up, and want it NOW."

Actually that is untrue. I never just jump into anything, I was taking my time and shocked at his statement of wanting to be serious, read the last post in the last two statements from him it clearly says that.

So, explain to me why a person would go from calling all the time, returning calls, and keeping appointments to the opposite? That is just strange to me and doesn't seem to me that someone is seriously interested in getting to know you. Sorry it just doesn't I am not asking him to chase me but I am definitely not going to be the only one communicating.

You are right scorps don't trust easy. That is an aspect I have worked on in the past even when letting go and trusting and still being let down, but that is life.

I'm just not into games or casual hook ups I expressed this in the beginning.

"People need time, especially a Pisces. We can't just jump right into a serious relationship without wieghing everything out within our vision of a harmonious relationship. He's likely been creating this image all his life, Queen .. and waiting for her to enter. Two months isn't a long enough time for him to know if you 'fit' within what he envisioned"

Uhhh, exactly my point, I had no intentions on anything just being serious overnight, we actually had a conversation about this and this is how it went:

Me: Well you would have to get to know a person to even know if you want to be in a relationship with them or not and that takes time

Him: Well, I can basically tell if I want to be in a relationship with a person from our first conversation

Me: Wow? I have never been able to do that. I might know if I want to continue seeing that person or not, but I definitely don't know if I want to be in a relationship with them.

Please explain that to me P-Angel because that had me confused and I didn't really take him serious when he said that, this was way before two months.

Please answer this, how will you get to know a person without spending time with them or talking to them? Seriously? Talking is one thing but spending time. He might not have time in his life to get to know someone if that is the case he should realize it and let a person know.

So P-A and Gem-G, If you and a guy started going out and he called frequently and returned calls in the beginning, then came up with the serious talk, then reaffirmed that he would like a serious relationship with you, then shortly after, you found yourself initiating all the contact, he would say he would call you back or the next day and never does, he promised to help you move some furniture the day before, then the day comes and goes and two more days past and you don't hear a peep even after you called and left a message to see if he was still going to be able to help? Then he being a trainer arranges a time for the two of you to work out and says he is going to call you, never does then a day or two later tell you something came up. You would be perfectly fine with that? Do you really consider this having expectations? Seriously? If so, then this is the common curtesy I expect from my friends so I guess we wouldn't work out with this type of behavior.

Your intensity is overwhelming, however, I understand .. lived with Scorpios my whole life. 🙂

Queen ... you first have to understand how a Piscean processes life, how we function in life. Whether he is serious, or not, none of us can know this, I cannot know this, I can only speculate according to what you write. But, I can tell you that a Piscean does NOT operate in life like a Scorpio does .. not like anybody else.

Queen, a Piscean does NOT make a decision on ANYTHING until it is felt. Nothing ... zilch. No decisions, no commitments, no nothing in our life .... until we are able to FEEL it. And this feeling of life does not come as each moment passes, it comes from taking life experiences and applying them into our vision of life ... there is where we experience for real.

What I know, as I know with every Piscean ... is that whatever it is he needs to feel, or wants to feel .. he can only know for certain what these feelings are if and when he takes this illusion of life (in which is what you live everyday and call it reality), into his real world to experience so he can know for certain .. in his real world, you cannot go, for it doesn't exist in your reality of life.

In other words ... right now, as I'm typing this, as you are reading this and thinking it's reality ... is merely an illusion.

Patience .... patience ... give him space and patience .. allow him to live within his world of surreality to SEE IF HE LOVES YOU before you make the decision that he doesn't. If you cannot do this, which the majority of the people cannot .. then swim.

Pisces people are NOT other people .. he says what he means, however, this does not hold the same meaning to you because you are not one. For example .. he said, "Well, I can basically tell if I want to be in a relationship with a person from our first conversation" .. and you took this to mean literally, as you would interpret what this means, for you even said, "Wow? I have never been able to do that. I might know if I want to continue seeing that person or not, but I definitely don't know if I want to be in a relationship with them."

When he said that, he meant ... he knows from the first conversation he has with somebody whether he wants to create a love for this person inside an illusion, so he will have the ability to have love energy to pull from to keep him going in your reality of existence, which primarily consists of structured terms pertaining to life.

Or, you could just play head-games with him for attention, as GemGal suggests.

No, no. The girl just needs to be patient. I dont understand why she's acting like someone ran over her dog. I dont see anything in his actions that would warrant getting my panties in a bunch.

Not.

I'd be upset if the reason why he didn't come was because he got run over by a car, or someone kicked him in the nuts and so lost the ability to provide me with children, or if his mother died .. or if he got sucked into a black hole, or if it started snowing in August.

Or, if I was a drama-queen looking for something to be hysterical about.

Not x 2

Thats just our nature. My friends call me the "Queen of bailing out" I'll make plans and then change my mind at the last minute-and they still love me just the same. Panties NOT in a bunch.

I am a scorp dating a pisces. the same thing happens to me. he is intense for a while and then seems to evaporate into thin air. then he comes back like nothing happened. Well, we have been together for almost six years. there are times he has dissapointed me terribly. And he once hurt me more than anyone else ever has, but, I can also tell you that no one on this planet has done as much for me, given as much to me or treated me better than he has. I have had the most romantic moments of my life with him and have been on the most lavish vacations. and he was the one providing all the romance. the little special things like remembering my fav drink, lighting the candles, cooking me dinner, putting the table in front of the fireplace. And just when he's got me in this romantic haze......poof. No hear. I think that sometimes they get overwhelmed with life and then they have to focus on other things. He has a business and a restaurant. So he has a lot of responsibility. it's almost like they cant multitask. I also think, that when he has provided a lovely romantic eve for me, he thinks, "okay, I've got her in the right place, she's happy,she loves me now I have to focus on other things". And then he comes back. My romantic prince. Oh,and one more important detail, they loved to be pursued. Unfortunately, so do we and it's almost impossible for a scorp to pursue. But try it a little and give it space and patience as the others have advised. good luck.

p.s. one more important factoid: my relationship with him has been the most honest and made me grow the most. They dont play games. when they dissapear, it's for a reason, not a game. we scorps are the ones that play games and manipulate. but that will never work with pisces. take them at face value and just give it time and patience. It will grow into the most beautiful flower you ever saw.

🙂


Destiny, it's been a while since you visited our Fish Tank .. and you're still loving your P-man. Bless .... you are the kind of person we search for our whole lives = someone who understands that they don't have to understand, they simply have to love us as deeply as we love you, and trust that we know what we feel when we feel it.

Hey P, nice to hear from you. what a nice message. thank you. xoxoxoxo. You are right about "feeling it". Whenever I had my serious doubts and thought about ditching the whole thing and doubting his intentions, I sat still and listened to my heart. that deep down in your heart/pit of the stomach feeling. and I said to myself, "I KNOW he loves me. Let me trust this". Like I said, it's been six years and we are just now starting to get really serious and starting to plan our lives together. He is older and was divorced twice, so it's taken a while. but in the end, our connection is breathtaking. We know we are each other best friend. the scorp pisces relationship is really off the hook if scorp can stop manipulating and trying to control everything like we always do. 🙂

by the way P. I visit the fish tank EVERY DAY. Would you believe it? I just dont post a lot because I am a terrible writer and have a hard time expressing myself thru writing. I also have a fun but draining job that leaves me wiped at the end of the day. But I am always here. You always give such thoughtful and insightful advice.

I know exactly what you are saying ... my relationship with my Scorpion son isn't even measurable, it runs so deep. We both swear that our souls are connected, and we trust it. Two people of S/P sun signs have to live this to comprehend the depth .. it's like not even of this world.


Glad to hear how happy you are 🙂 Nothing is more beautiful than a successful love story.

"You always give such thoughtful and insightful advice."


Thanks for those words .. sometimes it's a hard knock, though .. however, always for the purpose of snapping a person back to reality.

Ha, ha, ha .. reality check !!!! Like there even is such a thing, but, it sounds good.

You express yourself just fine. So long as your man knows where you're coming from, that's all that matters, and I've no doubt that he does. My son doesn't even have to speak, I know exactly what he means just by the look on his face.

Yeah, some folks on here just dont get you, but most do. or they come around eventually. good advice is hard to hear sometimes. the same thing would happen with me and pisces in the beginning. he would give me advice, and me not being used to it would get all uppity. but now I realize that it's cuz he cares and not cuz he's trying to put me down like I thought at first. keep at it P. Just remember that people find their way to your posts and advice as a cosmic gift.

"So, explain to me why a person would go from calling all the time, returning calls, and keeping appointments to the opposite?"

He takes you for granted. He knows you are his so he is slowly doing less effort to be with you."

Uhhh, no he doesn't, he couldn't I haven't done anything to make him think that. Trust me it only took a couple times for this to happen and I stopped the communication all together. Didn't answer the last call or two, just no time for games.

"Have you ever heard the phrase that says " he didn't mean what he said"?.. Because this sounds more for the case!"

Now you're getting my point.

"Why the HELL are you here crying for this idiot that he didn't keep his promises... and you are not having fun?"

Oh trust me I am not crying over anything, just got back from a fabulous date with a nice Virgo. I just started this thread wondering why someone would waste a person's time when they know they don't have intentions to do what they say. I know it was baffling to me, but just wanted to get others point of view, then I find myself trying to defend myself for having enough respect for myself not to take his crap and call him on it. That is me and who I will always be.

If I feel disrespected I will point it out, not even in a confrontational way but you better know you will hear about it.

If I feel disrespected I will point it out, not even in a confrontational way but you better know you will hear about it

and how's that been workin for ya? Keep pointing that out, and you will be alone for a long time. Your screen name: queen scorpio says alot. Hon, you are not a queen. Get over yourself. You are a loving woman. the trick here is not to expect people to love you the way that you expect them to, but on their terms, the way that THEY love. not everyone can be as passionate, deep, and loyal as a scorp. People have their own terms. be brave enough and grown up enough to deal with it. let things settle with this guy. give him two minutes to think about what he wants. when he brought up the topic of a serious relationship you were very evasive. that's what I picked up. and now he is dealing with that. almost like you were trying not to be vulneralble. I know it's hard for a scorp to be vulnerable, but try. if you really care for him you can make it work. the intention will be powerful enough. you'll see.

"be independent and realise that you don't need a man nor a serious relationship. So promises for serious commitments will lose their importance"

I am very independant divorced within the last couple years and know too well that a relationship with a man doesn't identify who I am. No problem there.

"accept the reality that if he continues being an marker you have to dump him.Set the limits. There is no way that he should cross a certain line and you know it. [He knows it too and he is testing it at the moment]"

Oh, he has no more chances to do this. His actions simply mean he either takes giving people his word for granted or he is disrespectful. I am not interested in that at all.

"never ask again for his help and try to deny it as much as possible. SHow him no matter what he is not that important so he stops feeling irreplacable.*(once he loses his security then he is going to start feeling interested again)"

First, we haven't been involved long enough for all this and I do have male friends who love me dearly and I ended up with more than enough help after making a couple of phone calls.

"don't feel guilty that you didn't give him enough chances. Once was too much. To get to the next level and go to the other one then he has to pass the first. He didn't oops! sorryyy! NEXT!"

No guilt here even with people saying I am a drama queen etc... LOL!! Sorry I respect people and treat them with respect so I expect the same, if not, then they aren't for me. I see some women don't mind at all being stood up or when actions aren't reciprocated and if that is what they like than that is good for them. It ain't happening with me sorry. I am worth more and deserve more.

"Face the fact that he is not Mr Perfect and let him prove to you how close to what Mr Perfect is for you."

No one is perfect not even myself. However everyone isn't compatible so if we aren't then we aren't.

"Queen ... you first have to understand how a Piscean processes life, "

I don't think she needs to understand a thing about him. Why waste her time tgrying to figure him out?

Agreed. He needs to understand that I don't appreciate being taken for granted.

"No, no. The girl just needs to be patient. I dont understand why she's acting like someone ran over her dog. I dont see anything in his actions that would warrant getting my panties in a bunch."

Again, some people think a person's word has value and some don't. If you did the things he did and claim you like the person and want a serious relationship with them, then something is missing. Atleast with me. We can't even start to consider anything happening with those irresponsible actions.

"Thats just our nature. My friends call me the "Queen of bailing out" I'll make plans and then change my mind at the last minute-and they still love me just the same. Panties NOT in a bunch."

Do you leave them hanging waiting or anticipating or do you tell them you changed your mind (which would be fine with me but damn it have enough respect for me being a person in general to do that much) If not then your friends accept you for being undependable.

Yeah destinyschild I was engaged to a Pisces and know too well about the romantic side, but when he was serious about me he never pulled this crap and we were much younger. Who knows what he will do he is getting all the space he needs. I haven't even told him of my disappointment just haven't contacted him since the move and he called a couple times and I really didn't feel like having the disappointment talk, but who knows. For now I am disappointed and feel taken for granted and I was. There is no justifying that period.

"and how's that been workin for ya?Keep pointing that out, and you will be alone for a long time."

It has worked great actually, it has had all the men I have been involved with respect me for that and treat me way better than their exes because women know men will only do what you allow them too. Thanks for asking. Actually this is the first time I have been alone in decades.

"Your screen name: queen scorpio says alot. Hon, you are not a queen. Get over yourself. You are a loving woman."

Actually, I am a queen, not saying I am better but I value myself as such and have been treated as such so yes I am very confident and know my worth. Hopefully you will learn to value yourself as high too at some point. Woman are queens and men are kings.

"the trick here is not to expect people to love you the way that you expect them to, but on their terms, the way that THEY love. not everyone can be as passionate, deep, and loyal as a scorp. People have their own terms."

I am very aware that each individual is different and loves, think and process differently. However, I also know what I need and want and if the person doesn't have it or reciprocate it than they aren't for me. Simple.

"be brave enough and grown up enough to deal with it."

Sorry, I won't deal with a person blowing me off not now not ever. Like you said he has hurt you over and over, maybe because you didn't set the record straight from the beginning, this is where we make mistakes in relationships men and women alike. We let things slide in the beginning stages and get angry about the very same things we let them get away with in the beginning the furth on in a relationship we get and that ISN'T fair to the mate. So what I accept in the beginning is what I will accept throughout.


"let things settle with this guy. give him two minutes to think about what he wants. when he brought up the topic of a serious relationship you were very evasive. that's what I picked up."

I said I would like to see what the possibilities of being serious would be, nothing is promised. How is that evasive. I am more real in touch with reality. We all know Pisces can live in their own world as P-angel has stated.

""and now he is dealing with that. almost like you were trying not to be vulneralble. I know it's hard for a scorp to be vulnerable, but try. if you really care for him you can make it work. the intention will be powerful enough. you'll see."

It isn't easy for a scorp to be vulnerable, but when I am in love I am. Therefore I try to be sure if I want to make that investment and if it is the right choice for me.

It depends. Sometimes I will give them notice, other times I just wont show. Thats just me. I also screen my phone calls and never return messages, it is what it is. I just think you need to chill out. If you're getting this aggitated in the beginning I can only imagine what you will do down the line once you are committeed. FYI-you should have picked up the phone and talked to him about your feelings. Playing the hiding game will not make it any better. Fortunately for you most Pisces are big believers in redemption, so if you hurry now there is still hope. I'm not making light of your feelings but this could have been solved two pages ago if you had just TALKED to him about it.

"FYI-you should have picked up the phone and talked to him about your feelings. Playing the hiding game will not make it any better. Fortunately for you most Pisces are big believers in redemption, so if you hurry now there is still hope. I'm not making light of your feelings but this could have been solved two pages ago if you had just TALKED to him about it."

Uhhh, like I said I didn't want to have the disappointing conversations then. Redemption? Please, I don't need to be redeemed. I didn't continuously make promises or say I was going to do something and left him hanging. I am not careless like that and don't need anyone around that can't keep their word. It would be different if he was this way from the beginning, but he wasn't so again, that is bs.

I started this thread just trying to understand what would posses a person to do that to someone they supposedly really like or want to be serious with and didn't start off that way. I would have cut him off well before now if he wasn't reliable. I mean we are adults, your word should mean something. So I am not stressing out just defending my point of view as others look at a person not keeping their word as nothing. Or leaving someone hanging over and over as no big deal, and true enough it may not be to them, but to me it is, so for someone who doesn't give a damn about leaving someone hanging then they are definitely not taken serious by me. Thanks for your points of views.

My observation still stands, he clearly wasn't as serious as he said, that is not how you treat anyone you care about at all. Again, I was engaged to a Pisces who had great follow through and so did this one originally.

my last word on this is that there are many a wonderful woman who has a high value of herself and who are alone.

You say you don't need to understand ... and then bitch for 4 pages about not understanding ... pretty much not caring to listen to anybody elses words .. just emotionally "stuck" in this mode of needing to vent your complaints and disgruntlements = bitching.

Do you always get "stuck" in bitch mode, where you cannot rationalize anything and feel intensely overwhelmed to continue ranting, without trying to gain any reasonable insight as to why? You know, when a person finds out why, this is suppose to signal to your brain to calm down so you can rationalize.

I have a question for you: The night before (or even day before) your move took place, did something happen to set you off? Cause, you said you didn't hear from him for a couple days, and if it takes you that long to calm down and get a grip ... then .. well ....

"your word should mean something. So I am not stressing out just defending my point of view as others look at a person not keeping their word as nothing"

If he indeed has all that going for him professionally, then I should say that his word is very valuable, reliable and respected .. for if it wasn't, then he would be as successful as he is.

The problem is that you are too emotionally overwhelming and have become a burden ... and you're likely going to find yourself in situations similar to this over and over, for you attract it to you by allowing your emotions to have control over your senses.

Good luck in the future, and I hope you find some inner peace.

"my last word on this is that there are many a wonderful woman who has a high value of herself and who are alone."

You say that like its a bad thing

NO BIJOU. NOT IF YOU DONT MIND SITTING HOME ALONE WITH YOUR "PRINCIPALS" AND "SELF ESTEEM". HEY..... NO MAN IS PERFECT. THAT'S ALL I AM SAYING.

It is a bad thing, bijou, if this leads the person to only acknowledge the self, and if the person cannot recognize their own errors in life and think everything is the fault of another because these principals are demanded of the potential partner to uphold, and not her.

Queen said .. "I said I would like to see what the possibilities of being serious would be, nothing is promised."

No promises .. straight from her mouth. Then bitch if he breaks a promise to her .. yet, she wouldn't promise him anything when asked about a serious relationship. If you have principals, then they have to apply to yourself as well, in how you treat back.


"I haven't even told him of my disappointment just haven't contacted him since the move and he called a couple times and I really didn't feel like having the disappointment talk, but who knows."

Goes on and on and on and on about being reliable, dependable .. stepping up to the plate, bascially ... and then she herself avoids. She doesn't feel like doing something, so she doesn't .. yet, if he doesn't feel like doing something .. suddenly her principals matter.


this is a two-way street .. one in which she was also on this road, and above are only a few that I pulled from her testimony where she holds him liable for things she does herself, but, there are many.


Principals are a great thing to possess ... so long as they justly apply to the self, and not exlusively for the purpose of demanding them from others.

Principals are a great thing to possess ... so long as they justly apply to the self, and not exlusively for the purpose of demanding them from others.

Exactly, I totally picked up on that in the previous postings

"my last word on this is that there are many a wonderful woman who has a high value of herself and who are alone."

And I would be one of them. I have chosen to be without a man in a relationship for the timr that I have as I needed to get back in touch with self after being with and married a man for 10 year, however now that I am deciding to explore relationship posibilities. I want the best partner FOR ME.

P-Angel, look. This whole thread was questioning his actions, and as my point of view as the person I am. If I tell someone I will do something I try my damnedest to do it and if I cannot I have the common curtisy to let them know that I can't. Come one once or twice is one thing but this is the third time. He is not that busy that he cannot return a call or a reminder text saying, sorry not going to be able to do it, but yet days later still no response. That is just disrespectful to a person.

"Queen said .. "I said I would like to see what the possibilities of being serious would be, nothing is promised."

No promises .. straight from her mouth. Then cookiemonster if he breaks a promise to her .. yet, she wouldn't promise him anything when asked about a serious relationship. If you have principals, then they have to apply to yourself as well, in how you treat back"

Correction, not breaking a promise but a few withou any explanation, again, disrespectful.

The difference between promising a person that you will be in a relationship in the future without fully getting to know the person and promising to help a person move is - You can't gauarantee what happens in the future and if you will continue to like or want to be involved with this person after you really get to know them. You can actually help a person move or keep a date and if something comes up have the common curtesy to let the perso know. Come on now this isn't rocket science. You are not going to tell me if a perso has made several promises to do something and didn't and didn't give an explanation why and left you hanging you would be okay with that. No one would so stop being defensive because he is pisces.

"Goes on and on and on and on about being reliable, dependable .. stepping up to the plate, bascially ... and then she herself avoids. She doesn't feel like doing something, so she doesn't .. yet, if he doesn't feel like doing something .. suddenly her principals matter."

Uhhh, read! This is after telling him this before. Clearly he doesn't care so why keep beating a dead horse.

"this is a two-way street"

Yet the only thing you can advise is that WE have to UNDERSTAND the Pisces and be patient. I guess the pisces shouldn't be sensitive to others needs and understant others.
And simply just be relable or responsible. Especially when they expect the other person to keep them well informed of there actions and movements and involve them in everything they do.

So I ask, it is okay for him to be offensive to me or not be sensitive and try to understand my point of view but I am dead wrong for wanting him to just do what he says and if he can't then let a sista know. Yeah right.

"Principals are a great thing to possess ... so long as they justly apply to the self, and not exlusively for the purpose of demanding them from others."

I do exactly what I expect of him. I care about a persons time and don't leave them hanging or guessng. You will know exactly where I am coming from.

Actually majority of this thread is me defending the fact that I think it is inconsiderate to continually not keep your word to someone you claim to really like and want to be serious with period.

Looks like it is a pisces thing not to care if someone is waiting for them when they tell a person they will be there. Sorry we scorps don't get that because if we say we are there then we are period! Now this is what Pisces should understand about a scorp!