Chasing Gemini

Hello all, first post here. I'm a 27 yr old Aries male that's been involved with a Gemini female for about 7 months. Everything in our relationship has been exciting, fast pace, and never dull. The connection was instant, and we could barely keep our hands off each other from the beginning. About 5 months in, she began acting very strange toward me, I played it off like I didn't notice for a while, and then she told me the reason. Her ex (Taurus) was trying to come back into the picture. He apparently cheated on her a number of times, but she never had solid proof. Listening to her stories, I would say he was not only sleeping with someone else, but carrying out multiple other relationships.

When he came back, he was extremely persistent. Flowers, cards, gifts, the works. He would not leave her alone, and she began telling me she couldn't be with me any longer, because he was still in her heart. They had been broken up for 14 months, and I never heard much about him at all, except that he cheated.

I played the first break up cool, and kept respect about myself, and she didn't last more than a couple of days without calling and coming to my house. The relationship proceeded as normal, but every couple of weeks she would be down and depressed, or as she called it "confused" and wouldn't want to see me.

She still comes over, replies to my texts, answers my calls, but it's up and down. As of today, she answered my call and said "I'm not at home, I'll call you back in a couple of minutes". She never called back, and it was such a weird response, something she's never said. My possessiveness and fear that she is with her ex is driving me mad. I'm trying to keep my calling/texting to a bare minimum but don't know exactly what I can do. I really am in love with this girl, and know that I need to give her lots of space, but how should it be done? She can easily make it through the week if I don't call her, and it seems to only create distance between us until she actually sees me because our connection is so strong.

Any advice on this matter will be greatly appreciated, and thanks for reading my story!

Dear Aries,

I am in the same situation like you are right now. The only difference is the cancer guy broke up with me because I did a really stupid mistake in the past which I truly regret up to this day.

Anyway, just like you, our relationship is "hanging" right now. I don't know where do I stand either. In any case, back to your problem, this girl that you're in love with as I can see from your story is leading you on. You know she's using you as a back up in case the Taurus boyfriend hurt her again. (trust me I know 'cos I've done the same thing.. in the end though, I ended up feeling guilty and have to break free from both of them )

So, it all depends on you... how much do you want to play this game? you have 3 options.
A> if your love is strong, take the pain of being second great..don't complain.. show her loyalty and all the unconditional love.. be prepared to be called a moron by friends.. who cares? you're in love.
B> if you think you deserve more.. find someone else.. move on.. keep yourself busy.. date other women.. focus on yourself.. cut yourself completely from her. you can do it! be strong. women love successful men.. you'll sure find alpha females if you're in the same circle as them (meaning, be an alpha male yourself)
C> if you think ok, this game is on.. keep her company, be her friend.. at the same time date someone else.. (do the exact same thing she's doing to you) play fire with fire.... be cautious though.. you might get burn and end up in the same situation you are right now.. if not worse...

you have 3 choices Aries. Choose wisely. my advice is follow your instict.. use your brain first.. then your heart... you can never go wrong with that.. =)

Good luck.

I've come straight out and asked her before. Thing is, she would give me every detail about when he would make contact with her, and I would believe her. At this point however, I can believe she is seeing him based on the way she is acting, and the fact that we've been distant this month. If I have any proof she is seeing him, or if she comes out and tells me, I will be a ghost, and she knows this so there is no chance of me hanging on as a back up unless she pulls the lie off masterfully, but I'm confident she won't.

Right now it's just a struggle of who she will choose, and I'm looking for advice on what to do. Should I cut off all contact with her? Should I act busy if she makes contact with me?

wow. she's been distant for a month? 8 Ball says: ''outlook not so good''.

sounds to me like she is but no reason to play games. just know who u are and what u want. be confident about it and let her know. if she admitted to u that she is still hung up on the guy then you've already been, in a sense, friend zoned. she likes u, u have great fun, but she's still with him and always has. maybe not physically but inside.

it seems like u were available at the right time to take care of her needs while she waited for her taurus to make up his mind. mind u, this is all speculation.

I'm so confused how Taurus & Gemini could possibly last. This girl runs for the hills at the first sign of possessiveness, I can't even ask who she is on the phone with! Isn't Taurus a possessive sign?

Posted by seavixen2
Don't do the loyalty bit, she can't appreciate it. Loyalty deserves loyalty...she'll wipe her feet on you if you do that.

I wholeheartedly agree. I dated off and on a Gemini Male for almost 1.5 years. Was there when his best friend died. I was one of the only people who he told his father cheated on his mother. And he still wouldn't just commit! He's in the military and used my Aquarian loyalty against me....asking for care packages and cards and CD's until I finally put my foot down. OP...you are going to have to do the same. Gemini's do not appreciate loyalty, I'm so sorry to say. So you sticking around with bated breath is not gaining any brownie points with her. They do appreciate a person with the *bleep* to put their foot down and say enough. When I told my Gemini I was done with him once and for all I've never seen this side to him...he is all about me...all over me. I still have nothing to do with him. He broke my heart and I don't even see him the same "idealized" way I did before. If you love her...you are going to have to be firm and very decisive in letting her know that you do love her, but you love yourself more. And what she's doing to you and what you're letting her do...isn't fair to YOU!

Since Geminis tend to be egocistical she will appreciate you loving yourself more than loving her. Kinda weird, I know.

Also Taurus are very decisive. And that is what is probably attracting her back to him...not so much his possessiveness but his determination!!!! Even though you are clearly the better match!