Emotional Affair? (Page 2)

Posted by ScorpioTruth
He has no intention of being just your friend. As adults we all should by now that there's no such thing as friends of the opposite sex that don't have ulterior motives.

If you pursue this "friendship", your innocent text chats will evolve into you confiding in him about your disappointments in your relationship. You will begin to compare your husband to your "friend" which isn't fair to him considering he doesn't even realize he has any competition. You're not ignorant, you know full well where this would lead to which is why you are here. Usually we ask the questions when we already know the answers but wish that we didn't.

I would steer clear of your "friend". Hes not your friend, he's a snake in the grass waiting on an opportunity to act on your vulnerability.

I completely disagree with your first paragraph. I'm 37 so at 'our' age we should know that it is entirely plausible to have friends of the opposite sex without them having ulterior motives.

I have numerous male friends who are not my friend simply because they want to put their dick in me.

Sure, they may have thought of it once or twice over the years, and we are talking 5 to 20 year friendships here, and I may have thought of it once or twice then dismissed it.

Nobody has ever acted upon it and none of them ever will.

Perhaps some people, male and female, are unable to hold friendships with the opposite sex. That's a shame. They're missing out.

Knickers.

Block him.

Be flattered, if you like, but don't kid yourself

by thinking you're the first.

Posted by ScorpioTruth
You're entitled to disagree, i wasn't looking for cosigners.

I have never in my life known of someone of the opposite sex who genuinely was interested in friendship and nothing more. Men dont look at married women and think, "oh, i bet she would be an awesome friend.. let me ask for her number", and same goes for women.

There is always an initial attraction that makes you want to become better acquainted with someone of the opposite sex. Of course sometimes the attraction fizzles out as time passes and you become friends, like you talked about. But in HER case, they already slept with each other. He already knows her intimately and I think asking to meet privately without their partners is a dead giveaway his interest goes beyond "friendly".

I know I'm entitled to disagree. So I did. No consigner here.

You made a statement that men and women can never be friends. They can.

Perhaps not in OP's case.

It's obvious what this guy was looking for.

Infinite8 yes I agree with you. I really did not see this at first but it's obvious to me now. In reality it's about me. I've lost sight of myself since my mistreatment. I feel what's right and wrong in my heart but my mind goes in overdrive to the point I confuse myself. I'm not sure how to move forward with that (my self esteem) but I'm going to re-read some of the really helpful advice and try and take it from there.

And yes I'm married to my perfect partner, the cancarien. He's a wonderful man ?

One of the really kind posters on here has also offered to give a helpful hand in private so will ask them about how I can build my mental strength.

It might be trivial to some but speaking to strangers is so much easier for me. I might be considered thick, a retard and even a drama queen as one helpful poster suggested but I don't actually care about those insults. I came here for impartial advice and this is what I received so thank you all.

I'm going to bow out of the thread now as I've got what I need but if anyone wanted to ask me anything I'm still here lurking, just send me a PM.

Posted by VampScorp
I do appreciate an objective point of view but let me correct you both. I am loyal to my husband, please do not question that. I have no interest in straying. We are perfect together, we are very happy and honest with each other. I've told my husband I'm talking to the Libra man, he hasn't asked abou what though - he just trusts me like I trust him when he speaks to his ex's. Sorry I didn't know how much detail was required in my opening post so perhaps you read me wrong?

I'm conflicted because I understand this is Libra's character and unsure about HIS intentions. They are 'supposedly' airy and have flirtations with anything with a pulse. My concern is whether I am reading into it too much and being a typical suspicious Scorpio.

Libra and I have mutual friends, I'm always of the persuasion to keep things amicable so this is why I'm asking for advice. I'm hesitant to block him and cut ties as 'friends' if he is being genuine and not trying to charm me in that sense.

My gut says he is not genuine but I really don't know because of said airy/flirty traits and hence why I said he's on my mind more than I would like (my Scorpio self obsessing!)

I'm being honest with myself, I have no reason to lie to forum strangers! Like I said the conversations are innocent (which they really see!) but it's he frequency that alarmed me hence the title - 'emotional' affair as people who talk THAT much are generally together? I try to ignore him sometimes but don't like to be rude if he is just being friendly. If it's deemed as an emotional affair then I would back the fuck off!!

For all my suspicions and analysing I can be quite naive and try and see the best in people so this is why I'm asking for advice. It's really difficult to get the nuances of a situation across in a message so I hope I've done a better job this time!

Go with your gut!

Posted by ScorpioTruth

Posted by Goodtimes

Posted by ScorpioTruth

Posted by VampScorp
I do respect myself ScorpioTruth. However it takes a long time to get over emotional abuse, to be manipulated to the point you second guess everyone, including yourself.

It took a long time for my husband to break down my barrier and I'm not going to let some sly libra ruin what I have.

Despite my dislike of Gob_shite's opinion of me even I can take the positive from his post. I shouldn't need validation but this is what I do. I need to work on that.

I speak out of love, not judgment so I apologize if I came across as being judgmental. I was in your shoes a few years ago with an Aries friend, although neither of us were married and we did not have a physical past. But the attention i received from him was rejuvenating as i felt neglected in my relationship with a workaholic. But just the thought of hurting my boyfriend is what made me end contact and it never became physical. The fact that i thought about him frequently even when i should have been present in the moment with my boyfriend was the sounding alarm that made me realize it wasn't healthy for my relationship.

If your husband is not the source of your history of emotional abuse, and if he has worked hard to break those barriers down, dont give him a reason to build barriers of his own to protect himself from you.

Libra forget women faster than you can say 'boo'. But truthfully there is a strong possibility that she is one of many many many women getting pursued or texted by the Libra.

It appears the Libra has deemed her a waste of his time and ghosted onto the next anyway.

Unlike the Aries who live for the thrill, if we see a woman isn't biting, we go the next, and the next and the next until we meet a woman with staying power who is a challenge, beautiful and tolerant.

Libra men can be heartbreakers.

This explains why I cant recall ever having an attraction to a libra. Lol we are typically intuitive and pick up on these sorts of vibes, and thats a blatant turn off. I think the fact that she previously slept with him is what is clouding her judgment.

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Libra men aren't usually mentally attracted to Scorpio women so the feeling is mutual. LOL But yes I completely understand.